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mermaid
October 26th, 2008, 08:02 PM
Congratulations to Jim T. who represented AMAM at the George Mason Sprint Classic today.

His swims:
100 Free = 53.25
200 Free = 1:57.44
50 Free = 24.53

Impressive! Thanks for making us proud.:applaud::woot::cheerleader:

jim thornton
October 27th, 2008, 07:12 PM
thank you from the bottom of my heart and that of my small team

SwimStud
October 28th, 2008, 10:36 PM
thank you from the bottom of my heart and that of my small team

Yes good job Jim but please keep discussions of your nether regions to a more appropriate forum...

jim thornton
October 29th, 2008, 11:51 PM
If I wasn't plagued with the equivalent of towing a sapling through the water, I could have been very fast indeed, Mr. Swimming Stud, sir! The guargantuan nature of my unit, as fascinating as it has proven to the distaff gender, has nevertheless been a great torment to me over the years. I don't condone his actions, but I can definitely understand how John Dillinger, who had the same problem, would turn to a life of crime. I have simply tried to make the best of my burden through mediocre swimming performances. And yes, I concede, allowing the occasional adoring tartlet to take her fascinations to the next level.

jim thornton
October 30th, 2008, 12:47 PM
Could someone else post here? It's a little embarrassing that the "Congratulations to Jim T" thread has as its designated poster Jim Thornton. Not that I am adverse to a certain self-congratulatory nature now and then, when I can't persuade others to do this for me. Still, this is my attempt to, well, have other do this for me in this particular case...

mattson
October 30th, 2008, 01:56 PM
Could someone else post here? It's a little embarrassing that the "Congratulations to Jim T" thread has as its designated poster Jim Thornton. Not that I am adverse to a certain self-congratulatory nature now and then, when I can't persuade others to do this for me. Still, this is my attempt to, well, have other do this for me in this particular case...

I'm tempted to start a new poll:
Jim Thornton - towing a sapling, or a small "team"?

jim clemmons
October 30th, 2008, 07:56 PM
I'm tempted to start a new poll:
Jim Thornton - towing a sapling, or a small "team"?

Okay - I'll vote...small "team". At least that's what the rumors on the West Coast are. :banana:

Peter Cruise
October 31st, 2008, 12:51 AM
I suspect that our Jim has embraced hallucinatory microscopy...

jim thornton
November 10th, 2008, 02:52 PM
While we are on the subject of congratulating me, can I please ask all interested contributors to visit the following site:

http://www.usms.org/comp/meets/toptimes.php

In the 2008-2009 SCY tabs, enter male, the 200 freestyle, and the ages 18-104. As of this moment in time, i.e., 2:38 EST, Nov. 10, 2008, I am the 5th fastest male in all USMS age groups in all states and provinces and whatever else (territories like Guam?) USMS has laid hold to, in this, the singlemost glorious test of speed and endurance!

Please, look quickly, because such magnificence--like a snowflake in a kiln--has a preciously short half-life!

But until more meets are swum, tabulated, and entered into this pitiless database, until my predictably inexorable diminishment into ever higher numbers that mount ever further away from the single digits, might we all just indulge me in a moment of heart-felt national congratulatory fervor!

Only one thing I would like to add, in the spirit of the earlier sapling innuendo:

Thank you, my dear, tiny manhood! Despite what I may have implied in the past, when women deserted my boudoir with Edvard Munchian screams, having you has never been a drag. The reason: because you have never created drag of any sort in the water! To be sure, I have been known to wander aimlessly at times, hitting first this lap line, then the other, as is the wont of rudderless boats. But you have kept me streamlined throughout my desultory swimming races, allowing me -- I happily note still at 2:51 pm EST Nov 11th!--to be the 5th fastest officially documented USMS male swimmer in the 200 freestyle.

With a normal sized penis, I am sure I couldn't have placed any better than 6th!

In this spirit, I beseech congratulations for me and littler me, a swimming tagteam to be reckoned with, though not so much by the distaff gender.

jim clemmons
November 10th, 2008, 03:25 PM
In the 2008-2009 SCY tabs, enter male, the 200 freestyle, and the ages 18-104. As of this moment in time, i.e., 2:38 EST, Nov. 10, 2008, I am the 5th fastest male in all USMS age groups in all states and provinces and whatever else (territories like Guam?) USMS has laid hold to, in this, the singlemost glorious test of speed and endurance!

Jim,

Is that your brother, Simon, in the 36th spot?

jim thornton
November 11th, 2008, 05:31 PM
No, but I met Simon at the GMU sprint meet. Very likable chap, I must say, but then again, that seems to be a trait of us Thorntons scattered all throughout the Thornton diaspora from our humble beginnings in England, where three towns are all named Thornton--one specializing in sheep herding, another in chocolate making, and the third in slave trading.

I have no doubt I am a descendant of many a bestial, gluttonous, and all around awful pauper from the Old Country.

But as Simon and I have proven, all that's behind us now.