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taruky
March 28th, 2011, 04:18 PM
I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues. As a backdrop, some of you may remember my previous description of my son as having Asperger's syndrome. He is 11 years old and, as you might imagine, a target of bullying and harassment in school. One of the offenders is a boy on his swim team who is 12 and much more physically mature. In school he has been cursing at my son, falsely telling one of the teachers that my son is "talking" and getting him in trouble (occurring on almost a daily basis, I have filed a complaint against the teacher), degrading him, etc. Most of this is primarily a school issue, but there was one event that I think relates to swimming and the team coaches should know about. One day, one of the trio of bullies went up to my son and asked him if he was any good. My son answered "yes" ( in reality he is OK, 35 sec 50 yard free). The kid called out to the swimmer I mentioned and said "hey, ....says he is good.". The swimmer responded "well, I got a 26 f...r, top that. You suck.". They essentially lured him into a trap, and he is innocent/socially awkward enough to fall into it.

My opinion of young swimmers in general has been very favorable. Most of them are extremely sweet and good kids, so I was very surprised to hear about this one. I am wondering if this type of behavior, particularly degrading fellow swimmers, is one that I should bring up to the head coach. While it did not occur during practice or a meet, I do believe it is relevant to the type of swimmer and person they expect on the team. I do not think any action would be taken at this point, but at the very least the coach could talk to him or even keep a mental record should it continue.

Any thoughts? I really feel that it might have more of an impact than anything the school could say or do.

Icidentally, this swimmer's best time ws 28.5, 55th out of 63 for the 11-12 year-olds at JO. I looked it up:)

EJB190
March 28th, 2011, 10:49 PM
I'm sorry to hear that you're son is being bullied. Unfortunately it's part of our society, that's the reality of it. Some kids are naturally dominant and push other kids down. Even at the age of 11 or 12 I think they are still very egocentric. They don't necessarily know the impact of their actions on others. In addition, they probably don't understand other people, especially people who are "different".

I think you should definitely address the coach about this issue regardless of where the incidents are happening. The coach should expect everyone on the team to respect each other. You're child shouldn't have to think as swimming as displeasurable because of the way he's treated. I suggest starting off lightly asking the coach to talk to the team members about respecting other people.

KevinS
March 28th, 2011, 11:22 PM
Any teacher or coach worth anything would address this immediately. Maybe not so much in a confrontational way with the other child, but perhaps use it as a valuable learning experience. Being a coach for kids age 5 - 18, as well as teaching special education for the past 11 years, this is something I have encountered several times. Most of the time a kids insecurities or lack of knowledge of disabilities can result in aggressive/bullying type behavior. I would ask the teacher or perhaps even the coach if you could meet with kids and families of the other students, and rather than point fingers and make accusations of others bullying, maybe use this as an opportunity to educate them on asperger's and how pervasive developmental disabilities affect kids ability to interact effectively in social situations, and the best way for them to learn is by experiencing positive social interactions. I have found that this approach with students has helped tremendously, and some of the problem students once they have developed an understanding of disabilities often become more helpful than harmful to kids with disabilities. Some of my former bully type kids, have actually ended up making the best peer tutors for my students with more significant disabilities. This is something to be proactive about, and just accepting that this is part of life is not acceptable. By doing this you are modeling appropriate advocacy techniques, and self-advocacy is one of the most crucial skills children with pervasive developmental disabilities need to develop.

aquajock
March 28th, 2011, 11:44 PM
I speak from the perspective of a parent who has experienced some of the difficulties you are experiencing. For awhile my son was experiencing a lot of bullying at school - he hasn't been diagnosed as autistic but he has very eccentric interests and was slow to learn social skills.

A kid tried to give him a swirlie in the toilet, someone bit him on the bus, and another kid tried to lock him in a locker. I got VERY vocal every time and let teachers, coaches and administrators know this was not acceptable. I also talked to my son and sometimes I would say I'm going to go to school with you to give that kid a piece of my mind. He would say "please mom, don't do that!" Then we would discuss ways he could avoid drawing attention to himself and keep a lower profile. He really seemed to appreciate that! By the time he reached high school the bullying stopped completely. He is still quiet and continues to write fan fics and pursue his soldier painting and war games but he is well liked. Fight the good fight and I'm sure things will come around!

pmccoy
March 29th, 2011, 09:38 AM
I coach youth soccer which has similar problems. The key is addressing the bullying up front before the season and not after it starts. I don't tolerate it in any way and I tend to be proactive about stopping the bullying by looking for signs before it starts. If I were coaching your son, I'd like to know ahead of time. Just give him the background and let him know that there isn't a problem at practice/meets but there is at school and it could become a team problem. Kind of a "heads up" thing. It presents him with an opportunity to talk about team unity and go over types of behavior he will not tolerate. I'm willing to pull superstars out of games for behavioral issues... even if the ref doesn't see it. Hopefully your coach is also willing to go that far.

Edit: By "giving the coach background", I don't mean dumping on him your son's troubles with specific individual. Simply stating that he has Asperger's and that he has had bullying problem in school should be enough. Coaches can't see everything going on at every moment and bullies usually take advantage of that. A coach can't discipline on "he said, she said" so don't expect a lot of results just because your son says something happened.

aquageek
March 29th, 2011, 10:09 AM
I would approach the coach, not a web forum. Also, the fact you looked up the other kid's times and posted them here makes me a bit unclear as to your motives.

taruky
March 29th, 2011, 10:24 AM
Thanks for the feedback. Aquajock, I'm not sure about you, but one of my biggest fears is that one day my son decides he has had enough and does something to himself or others that is irreparable. Although I must say to date my son hasn't been swirlied.

Interestingly enough I spoke to the kid's mother and of course she was defensive. Her son denies everything to her, and she told me that he wasn't raised that way. She said that maybe the boys should sit down and talk about the "incident". I, in turn, explained that this is not an issue of two kids working something out but rather a bullying/harassment issue. It was funny how she changed her tune when I told her my son has Asperger's syndrome, keeps to himself, and is regularly harassed. She said "I know if my son knew that he would never act that way to your son." I wanted to say "should it make any difference?"

A couple years ago I once told both my kids that if I ever heard about one of them bullying another child I would raise hell with them. Yes I teach them to be kind and compassionate, but that alone does not stop the gang mentality. It's funny, but I notice this gang mentality a lot even with parents. They have their clicks, and one will complain about or criticize a coach and everyone else chimes in and agrees. They are extremely competitive. I swear it's like being in school again. I pretty much keep to myself in the stands, I really don't feel comfortable around them or enjoy their company. Who knows, maybe I have Asperger's too.

Novaova
March 29th, 2011, 01:20 PM
It's usually a mistake to expect the parent of a bully to be responsive to the concerns of the parent of the victim. Bringing the matter to the parents' attention is something of a necessary formality, it's true, but the matter rarely ends there. After all, if this were the sort of parent who would be shocked to learn that their child was a bully, they would not have produced a bully in the first place.

In our household it was made plain that if I or my sister ever engaged in bullying, we'd be cut down in our prime and replaced with a brand-new infant who would be given our name.

SLOmmafan
March 29th, 2011, 01:41 PM
One method I think would be helpful (assuming the coach is willing...and a good one would be) it to get an older and well respected teen on the team to act as a mentor/friend. Hopefully their would be a 16 or 17 y/o on the team willing and able to take you son under his wing; I know I had and was in this roll on my swim team.

Ideally this will raise your sons confidence, and it doesn't ever have to look like someone "tattled" to an adult. The bully will think twice when they realize that your son is friends with the "cool older kids".

stillwater
March 29th, 2011, 03:13 PM
At age 11 my son was bullied at school. It took a while to find out why his grades were dropping and he was becomming a sullen kid. I thought it was due to growing pains. When I found out I went to the school principal. The school took immediate action and the bully was suspended for six days. When the bully returned he knew that my son "ratted him out", but the boorishness ended.

My son doesn't swim on a team, he did however sign up for karate. It has helped his self confidence in a big way. He is moving up in belts and has found an activity that he likes. His Sensei is a good role model for him, and confidence abounds. He likes sparring.

There still are incidents that happen at school, with one gang of kids. I asked my son why he doesn't just pound one of them. He said that he doesn't need to, for now.

I think that growing up is tough, but he seems to be navigating his way quite well. He is still a very quiet kid who would rather read than watch TV. Karate has helped his confidence when dealing with life's jerks.

Now if I could just get him on a swim team.

aquajock
March 29th, 2011, 05:07 PM
I am addressing this to Stillwater and Karuky. Karuky, I also was worried my son would do something to himself. I think it is what people perceive as "weaknesses" that gets people picking on them. Teaching him to deflect that attention is what's worked best for us. Try to make it a game for your son to hide certain weaknesses from people outside the family and to talk with you when he is upset. (I actually talked to my son about talking to himself and explained that to most people this is odd and that he should only do it at home). That is what really helped my son. It didn't hurt that whenever someone said something derogatory about him to his sister (who is super outgoing and popular at school, but pretty tough, too), she would tell them if they ever said another bad word about him she would pound them to a pulp!

Stillwater, I think karate is great. My son has been practicing for several years and it really has boosted his confidence, coordination and self-reliance. He isn't afraid of anyone anymore and doesn't hesitate to tell them to back off. Karate is a productive way to learn skills to protect yourself in case you need to stand up and defend yourself from someone who just doesn't get the message.

gdanner
March 29th, 2011, 05:20 PM
I asked my son why he doesn't just pound one of them. He said that he doesn't need.

I would advise against this approach. Karate is an often misunderstood form of martial arts and it has proven to be one of the least practical fighting forms in real world application. Anyone who has followed mixed martial arts and watched or competed in sanctioned fighting for more than a few years will attest to this fact. If you want your child to be good at fighting, enroll him in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or wrestling. Most schoolyard fighting involves kids tackling each other, rolling around, and punching...not standing and allowing point style fighting common in TKD and Karate. This goes for adults in self defense courses too. In most cases, when presented with some type of random attacker on the streets, your best bet is to run.

Karate can be useful for meditation, exercise, communication skills, discipline, and other skills. But fighting is another matter entirely.

taruky
March 29th, 2011, 06:40 PM
I would advise against this approach. Karate is an often misunderstood form of martial arts and it has proven to be one of the least practical fighting forms in real world application. Anyone who has followed mixed martial arts and watched or competed in sanctioned fighting for more than a few years will attest to this fact. If you want your child to be good at fighting, enroll him in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or wrestling. Most schoolyard fighting involves kids tackling each other, rolling around, and punching...not standing and allowing point style fighting common in TKD and Karate. This goes for adults in self defense courses too. In most cases, when presented with some type of random attacker on the streets, your best bet is to run.

Karate can be useful for meditation, exercise, communication skills, discipline, and other skills. But fighting is another matter entirely.
Interesting take, and I agree to a point. I did karate for a couple years in college. In my late 20's I took an interest in kick/Thai boxing and found it to be a completely different level of nastiness. While there is a lot of overlap in terms of the kicking, Thai boxing added some elements that were much more practical in a true fight. I'll give you an example. One of my favorite moves (which I never performed to completion while sparring for obvious reasons) was getting inside on my opponent, swiftly grabbing the back of the head and pulling it into my rapidly rising thigh. I Thai boxed for a few years, and some of the moves I would never dare use unless my life was in danger. One of two things would happen; A. I seriously injure or kill the person and my life as a husband and father is over. or B. I encounter someone better than me who ups the ante and kills me, lol. If I were to teach my son one move in a school fight it would be a swift kick to the back of the thigh or knee. No serious harm done, game over.

That said, I think a high level black belt could do some serious damage in a fight. No only that, but as mentioned the confidence not to fight can be gained.

gdanner
March 29th, 2011, 09:15 PM
One of my favorite moves (which I never performed to completion while sparring for obvious reasons) was getting inside on my opponent, swiftly grabbing the back of the head and pulling it into my rapidly rising thigh.


Yep, the "Thai Clinch" is a dangerous tactic and exciting to watch. It often breaks the opponent's nose or knocks them out when landed cleanly. Here's a former world champ practicing the Thai Clinch mixed into a session: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_FnS7bc8Jk#t=01m30s.



That said, I think a high level black belt could do some serious damage in a fight. No only that, but as mentioned the confidence not to fight can be gained.

The most common problem is that the issuance of a black belt is completely arbitrary from school to school and style to style. Unless you know the origin and style of the black belt, it's anyone's guess as to how skilled the person truly is. And if the kid is 14 years old and a black belt...I hate to break it to the kid, but it's not legitimate in terms of fighting ability. These types of establishments that hand out belt after belt after just a few years of training are referred to as McDojos (in reference to McDonalds).

quicksilver
March 29th, 2011, 09:42 PM
I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues.

A conversation with the coach is in order.

Sharing your concerns might allow him to provide the others with a greater insight as to what your son might have to go through each day to day. A team environment should foster unity as corny as that might sound. Boys will be boys, but this is clearly an opportunity for the bullies to learn some compassion for those with learning difficulties. Children with Asperger's can quite often be misunderstood.

The coach, with your permission, should speak with these boys privately and see if he can offer them a bit more understanding of their actions. Who knows, they may wind up being his biggest supporters in school where the bullying goes on unchecked.

Hope you find a nice resolve for your son.

Dolphin 2
March 29th, 2011, 10:22 PM
Bullying is not limited to just a school behavior and there is an increasing lack of civility and aggressive behavior by adults too.

I guess it’s the result of the long term economic mess and many people are getting stressed out and simply mad at the world. Many psychologists also make the observation that as the world is getting more populated and more crowded, there are simply “Too many rats in the box” and aggressive behavior is becoming pandemic.

As for school bullies, it sounds like the situation is starting to get red hot and if past incidents are a picture of the future, there is definitely a potential for deadly violence–IE- Columbine, Virginia Tech, for example. School administrators cannot look the other way any more and there needs to be a serious campaign to prevent violence before someone gets fed up and brings a gun to school.

In general, the campaign must focus on the problem that bullies don’t appreciate the consequences of aggressive behavior and bullies need to use logical reasoning, common sense, and critical thinking about the real consequences (-IE- the possibility of more school shootings) of mistreating other students.

Accordingly, here are some very appropriate names for the anti-bullying campaign: “Bullies Are Dummies: They Just Can't Learn How To Stay Out Of Trouble?” or “Don’t Be Retarded -Fix Your Learning Disorder Before It Gets You Hurt”, or “Don’t Play With Fire And You Won’t Get Burned", or "You May Be Your Victim's Next Victim". :agree:

D2

orca1946
March 30th, 2011, 12:43 AM
As a teacher for 41 yrs & a swim coach of 34 seasons, this should never be allowed to go any further !! I would always stop this quickly & take charge of the happening ! Talk with both of them about what is taking place !

ande
March 30th, 2011, 06:38 PM
http://www.operationrespect.org/
Has a lot of anti bullying info

No team should tolerate it

taruky
March 30th, 2011, 08:09 PM
An analogy occurred to me that I think can be used with anyone who doesn't take bullying seriously. I wish I thought of it when talking to the mother. If you knew that my son was giving your kid a little bit of poison or radiation every day, how long would you wait before aggressively stopping him? Would you wait 3 days? 2? Even 1? Now you understand me.

swimshark
March 31st, 2011, 08:03 AM
I'm sorry this is happening and I am hoping it is not on my team. I think a talk with the coach is in order. As you know, I practice with one of the local age group teams and I can tell you there is some smack talk but the coach is always watching so it stays with smack talk. They would never allow bullying if they saw it. They need to know it is going on so they can step in and also separate the kids to avoid it.

As for the mom, she needs to get a clue.

I'm actually dealing with this a bit at school. One kid is asking other kids to hit my son. This is in kindergarten! I have reported it to the teacher and she is separating the offender (who hits on a daily basis) from the kids as much as possible.

Good luck and it was great to see you on Sunday.

ande
March 31st, 2011, 03:57 PM
a friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher and she uses the
"Self Manager Discipline (http://www.effectiveteaching.com/secure/uploads/file/GoBe%20Links/Unit%20C/18/18_self_manager_app.pdf)" System

She's asks the children what are the things that good self managers do?
She builds a list of positive behaviors.
Self Manager is a privledged status the child can earn or lose each day.
She has a list on the chalk board of who the Classrooms self managers are and they get special privledges.
If a child breaks a self manager rule, they have to erase their name from the list, but they can earn it back the next day.
It's extremely effective.

A Self Manager would never bully another student or tolerate another student bullying anyone.

Effective Teaching... by Harry and Rosemary Wong January 2005 (http://teachers.net/wong/JAN05/)


• “Self-Manager”

Criteria for receiving acknowledgement

• Satisfactory grades
• Follow school rules
• No discipline referrals
• Class work completed
• Five staff signatures (for example, teacher, teaching assistant)
• Students listed in office for all staff to review


Presentation procedure

• Monthly award assembly

Acknowledgement description

• Button
• Privileges
• In hallways without pass
• Early lunch
• Self-manager lunch table
• Early release (1-2 min. max) from class when appropriate

Dissemination
(letting others know who has received the acknowledgement)

• Honor list in classroom
• Parent notes

taruky
March 31st, 2011, 10:29 PM
I'm sorry this is happening and I am hoping it is not on my team. I think a talk with the coach is in order. As you know, I practice with one of the local age group teams and I can tell you there is some smack talk but the coach is always watching so it stays with smack talk. They would never allow bullying if they saw it. They need to know it is going on so they can step in and also separate the kids to avoid it.

As for the mom, she needs to get a clue.

I'm actually dealing with this a bit at school. One kid is asking other kids to hit my son. This is in kindergarten! I have reported it to the teacher and she is separating the offender (who hits on a daily basis) from the kids as much as possible.

Good luck and it was great to see you on Sunday.

No, I don't think it was anyone on your team. Your team is the older kids I think. This is an age prep 2 kid (my son is in prep 1).

taruky
March 31st, 2011, 10:29 PM
I'm sorry this is happening and I am hoping it is not on my team. I think a talk with the coach is in order. As you know, I practice with one of the local age group teams and I can tell you there is some smack talk but the coach is always watching so it stays with smack talk. They would never allow bullying if they saw it. They need to know it is going on so they can step in and also separate the kids to avoid it.

As for the mom, she needs to get a clue.

I'm actually dealing with this a bit at school. One kid is asking other kids to hit my son. This is in kindergarten! I have reported it to the teacher and she is separating the offender (who hits on a daily basis) from the kids as much as possible.

Good luck and it was great to see you on Sunday.

No, I don't think it was anyone on your team. Your team is the older kids I think. This is an age prep 2 kid (my son is in prep 1). It was great seeing you too, it's been a while.

shyswimmer
March 31st, 2011, 11:39 PM
Did you ask the school what the process are in terms of bullying? This reminds of the the big kid who got bullied by a much smaller kid. The bigger kid defended himself after being hit multiple times and ended up being suspended.

swimshark
April 1st, 2011, 07:59 AM
No, I don't think it was anyone on your team. Your team is the older kids I think. This is an age prep 2 kid (my son is in prep 1).

I know the coaches for Age Group (one used to be my coach). Even if this is another age level group, I would hate to know it's going on with my team at all.

gdanner
April 1st, 2011, 04:50 PM
Did you ask the school what the process are in terms of bullying? This reminds of the the big kid who got bullied by a much smaller kid. The bigger kid defended himself after being hit multiple times and ended up being suspended.

I think you mean this kid:

YouTube - Bully Gets Powerbombed STREET FIGHTER EDITION!

taruky
April 1st, 2011, 05:36 PM
I know the coaches for Age Group (one used to be my coach). Even if this is another age level group, I would hate to know it's going on with my team at all.
Well, to balance that out I have a nice story. One of the other kids who is in age prep 2 and is an even better swimmer did something that made my heart warm like I'm not sure it ever has. My wife had actually once told me that he was an incredibly sweet kid. He is also a straight A student and recently got first place in the science fair , plus is very well liked. My wife even once witnessed him saying "I love you mom" while heading towards the pool deck, and that is saying a lot for a middle school kid, lol. Anyhow, my son a couple days ago told me that this kid said to him recently "You're going to be a really good swimmer". This is an 11 year-old kid who swims like a 26.7 sec 50Y free compared to my son's 34 sec. My son's face was beaming when he said this. He also told me he considers the kid his friend. I've never met his mom, but the next time I see her I will tell her what a wonderful son she has. I'll PM you the name of this nice kid (he also has a brother you might know).

swimshark
April 1st, 2011, 08:10 PM
Well, to balance that out I have a nice story. One of the other kids who is in age prep 2 and is an even better swimmer did something that made my heart warm like I'm not sure it ever has. My wife had actually once told me that he was an incredibly sweet kid. He is also a straight A student and recently got first place in the science fair , plus is very well liked. My wife even once witnessed him saying "I love you mom" while heading towards the pool deck, and that is saying a lot for a middle school kid, lol. Anyhow, my son a couple days ago told me that this kid said to him recently "You're going to be a really good swimmer". This is an 11 year-old kid who swims like a 26.7 sec 50Y free compared to my son's 34 sec. My son's face was beaming when he said this. He also told me he considers the kid his friend. I've never met his mom, but the next time I see her I will tell her what a wonderful son she has. I'll PM you the name of this nice kid (he also has a brother you might know).

I'm glad your son heard something positive at practice. Thank you for letting me know.

sydned
April 2nd, 2011, 10:17 AM
My son is 10 and has chosen to compete in sports that aren't about the team thing, I think because he is not a fan of the gang of boys mentality that sometimes surfaces in those environments. We've seen it in a major way in soccer and it really turned him off from the game. There was a particular group of boys who were super aggressive and made the game much less fun for everyone. And we're talking 8-year-olds at the time.

My guy is also not a "joiner" and is really about his own individual sense of accomplishment. Instead, we go rock climbing, where there's a crew of climbers who embrace everyone, regardless of ability, age, gender, etc. We go skiing. He plays tennis, which is generally a really nice group of kids too. Okay, it doesn't hurt that my guy is very well liked and considered "cool" by the other kids but he is also quick to come to the defense of other kids when he sees things being done that are not okay.

It's such a tricky thing because I even see it play out on the guys team that practices before us. I was at practice a few months ago and listened to a guy rank on a teammate, using adoption as the means of poking fun. "You 'real' Mom didn't want you..." Even if I weren't an adoptive mother, this would have made me nuts and so I called him on it and made it clear that certain behavior was simply unacceptable. (His coach would have done EXACTLY the same thing but had stepped away for a minute so didn't hear it.) I actually did it through a essay that I wrote to him, explaining adoption, what it meant, why his words were harmful. I sent it to his coaches, and to several others. Later, I received an apology from this kid and have seen his behavior change on deck.

As I see it, that's our job. Modeling the behavior we expect from our children, showing kindness and concern, and calling people out when their behavior is unacceptable, and of course, talking with our kids about bullying and discussing it at home.

I also think that we're responsible for listening when someone tells us our own kid has done something wrong. I know my guy is not perfect. And sometimes, he's going to screw up. I need to be able to hear that and listen to it so I can help him learn. Otherwise, I'd just end up with a big 'ol brat. It's appalling to me that the mother you discuss is not willing to hear that something is happening with her own child. I would want to know, as a mother, what was compelling my son to act that way. I would feel like there was some kind of insecurity at work that needed to be addressed. Isn't that our job as parents?

notsofast
April 2nd, 2011, 09:39 PM
I've been on the wrong side of bullying for 40 years - first myself, then my kids. Tips:


I don't mean to demean anyone who has decried bullying in this thread but: This country luvs us its bullies. As evidence, I point to the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series of books and movies, all of which while treating bullying in an unflattering light, are comedies. (I could add more movie/TV/books, but do I really need to?)
We don't condemn the problem. We laugh at it, because we really don't want to solve it or maybe think it intractable.
Disagree? Ask yourself whether drunk driving or pederasty would be comedic subjects in books or films today. Thirty years ago, both were. (Johnny Carson made child-sex jokes. Foster Brooks' schtick was as a falling-down drunk.) We don't joke about unacceptable behavior.
Since we as a country are comfortable joking about bullying, we implicitly accept it as inevitable. That means we tolerate it. It won't be going away soon.
Maybe bullying will slowly fade in light of the recent pressure on it. Even so, it's not going to happen fast enough to help your kid.
Bullies cower before force. Encourage your child to punch the next bullying attacker, or perhaps kick him in the ba!!s. Your child might get beat up and might get suspended from school for a couple of days, but the bullies will forthwith leave him or her alone. Bullies will attack at the point of least resistance. If they think your child might fight back - however meekly - they will leave him or her alone and seek someone who won't fight. This doesn't solve the societal problem, but it does address your child's.
I wish I had followed point No. 3 above, and I wish I wish I wish I had encouraged my kids to follow it. Learn from my experience.
No parent or teacher will sanction the advice I am giving. Ignore them. Kick the s.o.b. in the ba11s.
If you ignore my advice, you will remember it and regret it for the rest of your life.

stillwater
April 3rd, 2011, 11:44 AM
Where do you kick if the bully is female?

Novaova
April 7th, 2011, 03:56 PM
Where do you kick if the bully is female?
I can't compare the two kinds of pain, but it does hurt a lot to get kicked there.

Dolphin 2
April 7th, 2011, 09:15 PM
While we’re on the subject of bullies and bratty kids in general, here’s an article that has a happy ending and a solution that should be applied a lot more often: :agree:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110406/ap_on_re_us/us_child_pepper_sprayed

D2

Novaova
April 8th, 2011, 12:25 AM
While we’re on the subject of bullies and bratty kids in general, here’s an article that has a happy ending and a solution that should be applied a lot more often: :agree:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110406/ap_on_re_us/us_child_pepper_sprayed

D2
There's nothing happy about that situation, neither the beginning nor the ending. That's one messed-up little kid. =\

notsofast
April 11th, 2011, 06:35 AM
While we’re on the subject of bullies and bratty kids in general, here’s an article that has a happy ending and a solution that should be applied a lot more often: :agree:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110406/ap_on_re_us/us_child_pepper_sprayed

D2
From the story, there's no evidence that the kid is a bully or a brat. It sounds like there are some deep psychological/behavioral disorders that have not been addressed.

Dolphin 2
April 12th, 2011, 10:22 PM
From the story, there's no evidence that the kid is a bully or a brat. It sounds like there are some deep psychological/behavioral disorders that have not been addressed.

Any kid with the kind of psychological/behavioral disorders like those mentioned in the story is BRAT by definition.

What other "evidence" do you need??? :confused:

D2