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Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 02:05 PM
Anyone want to share some stories regarding humor in their swimming or past experiences....like meets....practice...HS Swimming, college....age group....?

aquageek
April 8th, 2004, 02:17 PM
A younger dude the other day where I work out walked out of the locker room to the pool deck (about 30 yards) buck arse naked. Had his suit in his hands. He's having trouble living that one down.

Taking my counseling like a man...

Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 02:30 PM
Been there--Done that!
Years ago when I started back swimming (USMS in Greensboro, NC) I was bleary eyed from being up all night jump-seating back from the West Coast, and I figured I would go home to get an hours sleep, then get up to go workout…. I took my sweats off, had my goggles in my hand and my big beach towel over my shoulder and I just walked out of the locker room buck naked onto deck…One of the neatest Old Ladies (in her 80’s) you would ever want to meet was standing there with a grin on her face…She then pops off a great one liner…”Looks like you came ready for action today Tom.” It took a few seconds for me to get hold of what was happening…and when I did…I was really embarrassed…Trust me, I took a great deal of kidding over that one.

aquageek
April 8th, 2004, 02:47 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
It took a few seconds for me to get hold of what was happening…

Care to rephrase that, Tom?

Flogged, but still standing...

Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 02:49 PM
Pun intended...:D

aquageek
April 8th, 2004, 02:51 PM
I was awful proud of myself on using "pontifications" on the secularism thread. However, I must not be as good at shameless self promotion as other(s).

Dennis Tesch
April 8th, 2004, 02:52 PM
I remember back when everyone starting wearing two and three suits at one time. One of my team mates had failed to remember that he only had one suit on and proceeded to take the one suit off on deck, thinking he had two. It took him about 30 seconds to realize that he was flashing everyone and then it took him about a minute ( I am sure longer in his mind) to get his suit back on. He didn't live that one down for a long time.

Conniekat8
April 8th, 2004, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
Anyone want to share some stories regarding humor in their swimming or past experiences....like meets....practice...HS Swimming, college....age group....?

I still laugh at myself for getting DQed on a 200Y swim, for miscounting and not completing the distance.
I think I'm too dependent on computers and calculators by now!

And, darn, where was I when all this fun stuff was happening.
The best I get is someones old worn out suit, coming close to transparent. (pout pout) ;)

Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 02:58 PM
Connie:
The way I count...
I am gald the 500 SCY free is just 20 lengths....If it was 21....I'd probably get arrested...

DocWhoRocks
April 8th, 2004, 03:32 PM
Stories eh? Hmm.... sooo many.

A guy on my friend's club team (Woodlands in TX I think) was in the finals Jr. Nationals in the 50 fr. (think that was the event). Anyway, he's a black kid & the announcers would announce them anyway they liked. So the kid had them announce himself as "Chocolate Thunder" hehe.

One time I fell asleep during a kick set. Waking up breathing water is not fun.

One time in college friends bet me a $1 (standard gentlemen's bet for us) I wouldn't do a 50 naked during practice -mixed practice. I won me a $1 :D

Then there was guy on my club team who did a 1650 at IUPUI naked. Got up on the block with his suit untied, dove in, off came the suit. The officials were not happy.

In HS during diving one teammate was listening to his head phones very loud. So loud in fact, the divers on the other side of the pool could hear it. So I tap Mike on the arm to get his attention to tell him to turn it down. I tap him, he ignores me. I tap him again - still ignores me. I tap him a third time to which he responds YELLING (as he can't hear his own voice) - as a diver is on the board - "WHAT THE F---!" The entire crowd then is staring at him and we all just start laughing at him.

Then there's the stories outta the pool at parties in college ;)

tjburk
April 8th, 2004, 03:41 PM
Hope you don't mind, but this one happened after a day of Surfing in Newport Beach. Standing on the corner of Pacific Coast HWY and Orange St. waiting for the light to change, leaned my surfboard up against a pole, started waving to a girl I had a crush on as she was standing on the other side of the HWY, and my BEST friend came up behind me and dropped my shorts to the ground! Kept waving until the light changed, picked up my shorts, my surfboard and my Ego and went home!:D

Conniekat8
April 8th, 2004, 03:47 PM
Originally posted by tjburk
Hope you don't mind, but this one happened after a day of Surfing in Newport Beach. Standing on the corner of Pacific Coast HWY and Orange St. waiting for the light to change, leaned my surfboard up against a pole, started waving to a girl I had a crush on as she was standing on the other side of the HWY, and my BEST friend came up behind me and dropped my shorts to the ground! Kept waving until the light changed, picked up my shorts, my surfboard and my Ego and went home!:D

oopsie! Hey, what are friends for! ;)

Oh, speaking of newport, you probably know where thelocal watering hole, Mutt Lynche's is at the newport pier.
One late morning iwas rollerblading there, stopped at a scack kiosk jsut next to the place, and for some silly reason, passed out (I think i had a temporary potassium dficiancy or sime silly thing), by the time I woke up, there was a fire truck, and ambulance and two cop cars there, righ in front of the watering hole. me in the middle, flat on the ground, wioth nothing but a swimsuit and rollerblades on.
Yikes!

Conniekat8
April 8th, 2004, 03:52 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
Connie:
The way I count...
I am gald the 500 SCY free is just 20 lengths....If it was 21....I'd probably get arrested...

Arrested?
Okay, that one zinged right over my head?

Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 03:59 PM
Backman...you poor guy....err.....that poor girl....

Tom Ellison
April 8th, 2004, 04:01 PM
Connie:
Hint...
I have ten fingers...... and ten toes.....

aquageek
April 8th, 2004, 04:17 PM
Get a room!

dorothyrd
April 8th, 2004, 05:17 PM
Before I went to my first meet, I had been to many, many meets with my kids. Some of those meets did not bull pen and I was always preaching to my kids to make sure they did not miss their events, pay attention, lah de dah.

Well my first meet was 2 years ago. I had brought my daughter who was 8 at the time. This place had a competition pool and another pool with a slide. So until the pool with the slide opened up, my daughter sat in there reading and coloring. I went to check on her and heard my name being yelled. I turned and saw my coach waving frantically, so I moseyed over in time to see my heat of backstroke starting, whoops. My kids have never missed their heats, so I had a hard time living that one down!

knelson
April 8th, 2004, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by Backman
"One, Two ,Three,..."etc. I proceeded to let out a nice perky fart on each lunge forward.

I could see that one coming a mile away. Good one!

How come most of these stories involve nudity? :D

Conniekat8
April 8th, 2004, 06:02 PM
probably cause the rules say no ...obscene... etc... posts :D
At least we stopped fighting... for now. ;)

aquageek
April 8th, 2004, 06:04 PM
And, I was recently reminded of the rules.

Mark in MD
April 8th, 2004, 06:10 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
I took my sweats off, had my goggles in my hand and my big beach towel over my shoulder and I just walked out of the locker room buck naked onto deck …Too much information here for the imagination. :D Moving right along, here's a few for a laugh or two.

One of the lifeguards at our pool, who plays water polo in high school, asked our coach if he could work out with us, although he's not old enough to join USMS, for stroke improvement. Last Thursday night, he shows up for practice, wearing a slightly customized Speedo. The coach's daughter (20) who swims in USMS immediately pointed the customization out to him. He had two holes in the rear end of his suit and his left cheek was clearly in view. Good thing someone had a spare suit.

Dorothy, two of my teammates remind me that I used to be big time in missing heats. I thought that I had this well under control this season after almost missing a heat in October. (It was my first 100 free.) I did miss that heat, but got re-seeded ... with the ladies. :D Anyway, in February I was trying very hard to pay attention. I walked up to the block prior to my heat and at the last moment, started to adjust my goggles. No goggles! I had left the goggles with my stuff and I wear contact lenses, so I had to sit that one out.

Then there was the time I was demonstrating a stroke to one of the kids to whom I teach basic swim lessons. (I wear board shorts over another suit because I will often sit down on the floor of our rec. pool when working with smaller kids.) This particular lesson was in the lap pool, so I dived off the wall at the deep end to do the demonstration. It must have been a pretthy good dive, I left the board shorts behind me. Thank goodness for wearing two suits.

Finally, last year, the Aquatics Director at our pool, who wandered in during one of our practices told me that my crack was showing. I checked and thought my rear was covered. Well ... not quite. Seems that the Lycra in the suit had finally separated and everyone had something to crack up about.

Conniekat8
April 8th, 2004, 06:26 PM
Originally posted by aquageek
And, I was recently reminded of the rules.

Well, we all desrved it... well most of us who got into it.
I don't mind. I knew I was pushing it.
Now it's time to back off, and cooperate wit the rules, after all, we got aggrivated taht he comes across so anti USMS. Aggrivation aside, we need to cabk off, and follow the rules...
Not having our opposing friend here is certainly helping stay calm.
As Tom recently stated, the recent discussions certainly left a lot of raw feelings.
So, even though its' understandable that a lot if people got riled up, it still doesn't excuse anyone, our friend, or us going overboard.
I wouldn't take it too much to heart. The administrators do what they need to do, to make it fair and objective... for everyone.
Time to take a deep breath and let go, move on.

sparx35
April 8th, 2004, 06:50 PM
i posted this one before ...ill tell it again'''i'd had a good swim and being a reasonable chap decidedto hit the showers...i saw two nice...understatement...gorgeous women showering already..(.the communal showers permit both male and female showering)_i thought i'll play this one cool and stroll up real coooool like.....the next thing i knew i was sliding very fast on soapy water towards the shower i had chosen!!!!!!!!!!!feeling like i was about to fall...i waved my arms about trying to regain balance as i slid at 30kmph...just then i stopped...took my shower///the girls looked at each other...nothing said...being a guy i finished first(no pun intended)_then vacated the shower area...only to hear fits of laughter!!!!!!!!!then one said to the other...i'd have given him ccpr...my ego RESTORED......LOL

Karen Duggan
April 8th, 2004, 08:11 PM
As an age grouper a girl on our team (she was in high school) was so late for practice... we were all sitting in the weight room with our suits on for our pre-practice meeting. She strolls in late with her very white bra underneath her two suits. She sits down and everybody, duh, was staring at her. Because the coach was talking nobody would say anything, although I think the boys were too busy drooling! (They had probably seen their first bra!) It was probably only a minute when the girl next to her whispers. The next thing you hear is a very shrieky, "Oh my God!" and she darted out of the room.
I have to hand it to her she did come back out and do the workout. :)

emmett
April 8th, 2004, 08:16 PM
As long as the door has been opened by Backman...

This happened back in the '80s while I was still managing athletic and recreation facilities at the University of Houston. One day one of my lifeguards called me to indicate he was having a problem with a stubborn lady smoking a cigarette in the indoor pool area - his manager wasn't around and he wanted to know what to do. I went over to the pool to investigate. 50ish, stylishly dressed and impeccably coifed, this woman was sitting on the bleachers beside the pool just fuming away. I went down there and politely informed her that smoking was prohibited anywhere within the athletic complex, pointing out the big "Swimmers at Work - Positively No Smoking" sign. I indicated that she would have to take it outside. While there were a couple divers at the far end of the natorium stretching, swim workout wasn't due for another 30 minutes and there were no swimmers actually in the pool at the time. She indicated as much, saying that I had no right to tell her when or where she could smoke - not only was she not going to take it outside, she was going to sit there and smoke it down to the filter, then light up another one while she waited for her friend to meet her. Somewhat taken aback, I indicated that if she refused to leave or put out the cigarette I would have to call Campus Police.

"Do what you have to do, young man," she said, punctuating it with another drag on on her cigarette.

I shrugged my shoulders, turned and headed across the deck toward the hotline phone.

All of a sudden, something stirred within me, presenting me with a flash of inspiration that put an impish smile on my face. I stopped mid-deck, put my hands in my pockets and slowly turned to saunter back across the deck, biding my time as my newly inspired response to her afront gathered coherence and force. I could see, through her noxious cloud, the puzzled look on her face as I approached. She looked even more surprised when I sat down right beside her and then scooted even closer.

I said "You know, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Feel free to stay here as long as you like."

With that, I leaned away from her, lifting one cheek in her direction and proceeded to rip off the longest, most impressive gaseous expression you could imagine - a real window rattler. With jaw dropped and eyelids peeled back she lept off the bleacher and before the reverberations ceased she was scurrying out the door, trailing wisps of smoke all the way. From the other end of the pool I heard clapping, laughing and hoots from the divers.

It just goes to show - you never know when a big evening meal of pintos, onions and cheese will come in handy. Over the years there have been numerous situations where I would have loved to again been able to conjure up such an offering for a smoker inflicting his/her habit on others in inappropriate places. But it was too perfect to ever be granted me again.

It was unprofessional, I know - adolescent even. But I never saw that lady in the facility again.

There is one thing I'd change, though, if I had it to do over again - I think I'd ask her to pull my finger.

Karen Duggan
April 8th, 2004, 08:28 PM
Hi Emmett,
I thought you were going to say that you tossed her coifness into the pool... I can't believe you did "that", wait, yes I can.;)
Going to Nationals?

MetroSwim
April 8th, 2004, 11:15 PM
I for one, now stand in awe of Emmett, and, at the earliest opportunity, will gladly lead a chorus of Bronx cheers in appreciation of his efforts.

Who ever said that flatulance will get you nowhere?

Mark in MD
April 8th, 2004, 11:34 PM
Good thing, Emmett, she wasn't lighting up. That could have brought in the fire department. That was definitely not an SBD, but a WMD ... weapon of mass destruction.

Small print department: No finger-pulling contests on deck at Nationals. Promise everyone?

Conniekat8
April 9th, 2004, 12:47 AM
OMG, Emmet, too funny.
I find having to peel myself off the floor once again :D

Backman
April 9th, 2004, 06:31 AM
Emmett,

My dog is wondering why I am staring into the screen with tears in my eyes. I would have laughed, roaring out loud but the whole house is asleep. No ab work necessary today.:D

Fritz
April 9th, 2004, 11:52 AM
Originally posted by Conniekat8

Not having our opposing friend here is certainly helping stay calm.


Isn't he here?

knelson
April 9th, 2004, 12:16 PM
Emmet's story is a classic! Of course, your punishment to her wasn't even as bad as what she doled out. At least I haven't heard anything yet about the dangers of second hand gas!

Tom Ellison
April 9th, 2004, 12:45 PM
Emmett.....I LOL big time....thank you.....I'd of given a weeks pay to have been there to see that....

And, thank God you had not been using VO2 Max Shampoo..or you may have blown her through the pool building wall....BOOM ! wow, where did that lady go?

jean sterling
April 9th, 2004, 12:45 PM
Originally posted by emmett
With that, I leaned away from her, lifting one cheek in her direction and proceeded to rip off the longest, most impressive gaseous expression you could imagine - a real window rattler. With jaw dropped and eyelids peeled back she lept off the bleacher and before the reverberations ceased she was scurrying out the door, trailing wisps of smoke all the way. From the other end of the pool I heard clapping, laughing and hoots from the divers.

It was unprofessional, I know - adolescent even. But I never saw that lady in the facility again.



It might have been adolescent, but it was FUNNY!! (and deserved imho). I had trouble getting to sleep last night because I kept chuckling at the image - no make that at the sounds - that you described so eloquently.

Tom Ellison
April 9th, 2004, 12:55 PM
Hey Geek...where and what type room would you suggest? Reason? Aw shucks...I'm lost again.....are not, am to, hush Dummy, we'll figure it out, you hush up their is no WE, is to... your writing about me....oh...never mind..what mind....KEEP IT UP....

old dog
April 9th, 2004, 02:58 PM
I'd bet most of us get pretty nervous before a meet and
HAVE to go to the bathroom before the first event.

I had a teamate who got real nervous--once he came out of the
bathroom with a VERY drained look on his face. He said
"I think I just gave birth!"
I said, "Like father, like son"

Mark in MD
April 9th, 2004, 05:39 PM
Originally posted by old dog
I'd bet most of us get pretty nervous before a meet and HAVE to go to the bathroom before the first event.

I had a teamate who got real nervous--once he came out of the bathroom with a VERY drained look on his face. He said "I think I just gave birth!" I said, "Like father, like son" Hmm ... wonder if it's catching down here?

Matt S
April 12th, 2004, 08:59 PM
Two words: speedo pup-tents (and given the ... physique of some of the women on our college team, thank God for cold water during our work-outs).

A friend of mine threatened to write a book about masters swimming: Men Who Hang on Pool Walls, and the Women Who Swim Past Them. Fortunately, our teammates (including his future wife) found it a drole remark.

In 1994 those of us affiliated with San Diego Swim Masters thought we had a clear road to the SC National Team Championship. In fact, we thought it was so clear, that we printed up before the meet a bunch of t-shirts with the phrase "National Champions." As it turned out, the home team Arizona Masters out-organized us and won the large team championship. A discussion of what to do with the t-shirts ensued. One of our leading lights, the late and fondly remembered Bill Earley, suggested that we simply add the word "hips" at the end.

A friend and I were shopping at the local Sam's Club for refreshments for the food tent at our team's annual open water swim. She noticed they had for sale a large variety of women's competitive swim suits, but being a Sam's Club, there was no changing room. We wondered on the way back what they were thinking. I suggested it would be a different story if they had MEN'S suits for sale under similar conditions. "Yeah, I'll take 5 of those and 2 of these and one from the end of the rack over there. Do they make me look fat? Who cares?"

Our college team used to make up posters for the cafeteria and student center advertising our home meets. One of the freer spirits in our group came up with the following pitch, "See beautiful women in incredibly small swim suits, and great looking guys in even smaller swim suits." If memory serves, we had a decent turn out for that home meet.

Our same college team had a "Profound Statements" board. One entry read, "We have a meet today?"--Hunter Adams. At the time, I had a fairly substantial mustach. Someone took a picture of me in the classic turning to breath freestyle pose. A wag took that photo, added the caption "Lech Walensa is alive and well and swimming for LFC," and posted it to the board. And don't get me started about our X-rated cheers.

Having said all that, Emmett, you still da man! All the rest of us with our lame little stories are clearly not worthy to post in your discussion thread.

Matt

emmett
April 13th, 2004, 09:34 AM
I'm glad y'all liked my Smokin' da Pool Smoker story. My boys are at the age where farts and fart jokes are, in their minds, a top-class act - so whenever we go camping or are otherwise in a situation where jokes and/or storytelling are called for, its at the top of the list of stories they beg me to tell. The fact that it reinforces a negative image of smoking doesn't hurt a bit, either.

I was hesitant to post it here for fear it would not be well received in a more adult environment. It just goes to show that Masters swimming can keep you young!

Scansy
April 13th, 2004, 09:57 AM
Emmet,

As a 34 year old "boy", let me tell you that farts are not "a top-class act" anymore. But they still make me giggle with my boys too (ages 3 & 11). Nothing bonds the boys of the house better!

My wife keeps threatening to move out.... Being the only girl in the house, you would think she would start to understand?

Scansy

swimr4life
April 13th, 2004, 10:24 AM
Oh my gosh Emmett!!! That is one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time! I HATE cigarette smoke and would love to have seen (or heard;) ) you do that! We need to call you the nickname I call my husband when he is able to use his "gift" at any given moment....."G.O.D."- Gas On Demand!:D

jean sterling
April 13th, 2004, 10:30 AM
Oh dear - you reminded me of your funny post, so I had to go back and reread it. I laughed harder this time than I did when you first posted it (and I didn't think that was possible). Oh my aching stomach. :D

Mark in MD
April 13th, 2004, 10:41 AM
Here's an idea.

My secretary, the other day, brought in the office a remote-controlled electronic whoopie cushion. You place the circular speaker device any where you like e.g., under a chair and you can activate it with a remote control. Pretty cool "guy" gift.

I then had a terrible thought. As many of y'all know, I am a part-time Church organist and I am positioned in the back of the church. I thought about getting 1/2 dozen or so of these electronic marvels and placing them under the pews in Church in strategic positions. I could activate them by remote control from the organ console. It could provide some real entertainment during a crowded Church service. Reminds me, Confucious says, "He who flatulates in Church ... sits in his own pew." Jean I figured you'd like my idea.

Paul, understand what you mean being a "big kid." My wife constantly will ask me if I will ever "grow up?" Our clerical staff in my office will always tell me that "I am not right." So, what else is new?

Mark

PS

Comedian George Carlin did a whole bit on tooting on one of his albums. Think I'll get it out and listen to it again. It's hilarious. Women should never complain about what we guys do ... they rip off some that will make one's eye water.

emmett
April 13th, 2004, 10:50 AM
The problem with women farting is that they often try to do it surreptitiously - which means those on the receiving end have no warning. That's positively evil.

Did you know that Klingons have humor in their culture? You wouldn't know it from their outward demeanor. But no self-respecting Klingon comedian can resist the impulse to fart in an air-lock.

swimr4life
April 13th, 2004, 10:53 AM
Ladies...why is it that while we are dating, men don't share this gift with us. When we get married they seem to want to make up for lost time!:rolleyes: As long as I keep my sense of humor, it is hilarious. My husband has woke me up many mornings to his noises. We have woke up laughing so hard! I hope we never grow "too old" to find it humorous!:D

Mark in MD
April 13th, 2004, 10:59 AM
Originally posted by swimr4life
I hope we never grow "too old" to find it humorous!:D This is the very reason we are all friends and colleagues through USMS.

jean sterling
April 13th, 2004, 11:00 AM
Originally posted by Mark in MD
I thought about getting 1/2 dozen or so of these electronic marvels and placing them under the pews in Church in strategic positions. I could activate them by remote control from the organ console. It could provide some real entertainment during a crowded Church service. Reminds me, Confucious says, "He who flatulates in Church ... sits in his own pew." Jean I figured you'd like my idea.



Oh Mark, you shouldn't have posted this when my stomach and laugh muscles hadn't recovered from Emmett's post. Oh but I am out of breath!! I almost bashed my head on the keyboard I laughed so hard. And the Confucious quote - priceless. Of course having your own pew isn't all good - If you are sitting in a pew with other people you can just eyeball them in an accusing way as, well let's not go there.

Mark in MD
April 13th, 2004, 11:18 AM
Timed that one exactly right, eh? What if the pew is padded, like the ones at my Church? Imagine all of the whoopies that have been trapped in those cushions for all those years? George Carlin talked about that on his record, too. This has been good for ab exercises. I'm outta here.

Scansy
April 13th, 2004, 11:57 AM
OK, for funny stories - has anyone "made bubbles" while swimming? I know we have the sit-up incident posted earlier, but I am curious (in a morbid sort of way) about the results when swimming. Is there extra propulsion involved? Does it help with undulation in the fly? Or does it tend to push you hips lower in the water creating extra drag? (Or higher for the backstroke.)

Sorry, I couldn't resist. As I stated earlier, this is one of my favorite topics!:cool:

knelson
April 13th, 2004, 12:55 PM
Originally posted by Scansy
OK, for funny stories - has anyone "made bubbles" while swimming?

Are you kidding? Anyone who claims they haven't is lying!

In my experience people who swim a lot usually don't need to worry much about constipation :)

swimshark
April 13th, 2004, 03:27 PM
I just want to thank you all for this thread. I needed a good laugh after the terrible morning (bad shoulder may require surgery with 3-4 month rcovery, rock hit my windshield and cracked it, etc...).

In our house, we call the G.O.Ds General. As in General Puttin (pooting - get it?) :D

jean sterling
April 13th, 2004, 03:55 PM
Can't say that I have while swimming, but while standing between sets is another matter.

I saw a commercial from Japan (on one of those funniest commercials shows) some years ago. There were six or seven little kids who jumped into a Japanese bath one by one. When the last little kid had jumped in, and they were all standing in a row, the camera zoomed in on the last little kid as bubbles arose behind him. How did they get him to do that on cue I wonder?

Anyway, these posts have to stop - my laugh muscles need a rest. :D

SWinkleblech
April 13th, 2004, 04:24 PM
Originally posted by swimr4life
Ladies...why is it that while we are dating, men don't share this gift with us. When we get married they seem to want to make up for lost time!:rolleyes: As long as I keep my sense of humor, it is hilarious. My husband has woke me up many mornings to his noises. We have woke up laughing so hard! I hope we never grow "too old" to find it humorous!:D

Try being stuck in the same car with my husband. It isn't surprising to find me driving with my window down in the cold winter.

Mark,
Remind me not to ever go to church were you play at.

Scansy
April 13th, 2004, 06:23 PM
Originally posted by swimr4life
Ladies...why is it that while we are dating, men don't share this gift with us. When we get married they seem to want to make up for lost time!:rolleyes: As long as I keep my sense of humor, it is hilarious. My husband has woke me up many mornings to his noises. We have woke up laughing so hard! I hope we never grow "too old" to find it humorous!:D

We are just trying to keep things interesting!:D

Mark in MD
April 13th, 2004, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by Scansy We are just trying to keep things interesting!:D And doing a pretty good job at it, too. Speaking of bubbles while swimming, that reminds me of a song in the 60's (?), Tiny Bubbles. Bubbles while swimming can inflate your suit if it's worn and losing its shape. :D Know what I mean? Shannon, consider yourself reminded. And Matt S. in a moustache ... can anyone picture that?

Matt S
April 16th, 2004, 11:37 PM
Has the scholarly literature noted a correlation between bubble formation and VO2 MaX? How do you norm for that? More important, is this a possible side effect of the new, cutting edge VO2 Max shampoo that Arena is promising to market once it begins production of the cold fusion racing suit?

Matt

Mark in MD
April 17th, 2004, 07:29 AM
Originally posted by Matt S
Has the scholarly literature noted a correlation between bubble formation and VO2 MaX? How do you norm for that? More important, is this a possible side effect of the new, cutting edge VO2 Max shampoo that Arena is promising to market once it begins production of the cold fusion racing suit? MattWhat did he say? Sounds like legalese.

Scansy
April 18th, 2004, 09:55 AM
Hmmmm..... Must learn to harness the power of the bubbles....

Conniekat8
April 18th, 2004, 09:21 PM
It's the Toe Bubble Fission Vortex

tjburk
April 19th, 2004, 09:11 AM
Only if used with the Flux Capacitor that is Gyro Stabilized!:D

Ken Classen
April 19th, 2004, 04:57 PM
Our masters team The University of Denver “Aquaholics” used to make an annual pilgrimage to the La Jolla Rough Swim. One year, the night before the race, our group was walking along the beautiful La Jolla shoreline. The conversation turned to the race, how we thought we do, strategies etc. Inevitably when you train a mile high almost any conversation about swimming involving persons from Colorado, the so called altitude advantage always factors into the discussion. Well, during this conversation a young woman in our group piped up “What’s the altitude here?”

emmett
April 19th, 2004, 05:00 PM
What color hair did she have?

Tom Ellison
April 19th, 2004, 05:08 PM
Did she also worry that the extra hour of sun brought about by daylights savings time would burn her yard in the heat of summer...?
Or, did she think a padded head board was "Safe Sex?

Scansy
April 19th, 2004, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
...
Or, did she think a padded head board was "Safe Sex?

You mean it isn't?:confused:

scolopax
April 20th, 2004, 09:59 AM
In one of my very first workouts with the college team we were doing breath control 50's. With my HS/club team, when we were told to breath 3's or 5's etc, the coach meant breath every 3 or 5 strokes.

So we started out the first few 50's breathing 5, no problem, then 4's and 3's- I wonder why its getting easier but hey, I'm a lowly freshman and I am not going to ask. Finally we are doing 1's- I am hyperventilating, snapping my head back and forth, trying to breath every stroke, wondering what the point of all this is, when finally the coach, who has been watching me in wonder, explains that he meant breaths per 50 not breaths per stroke. Doh!

Scansy
April 20th, 2004, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by scolopax
In one of my very first workouts with the college team we were doing breath control 50's. With my HS/club team, when we were told to breath 3's or 5's etc, the coach meant breath every 3 or 5 strokes.

So we started out the first few 50's breathing 5, no problem, then 4's and 3's- I wonder why its getting easier but hey, I'm a lowly freshman and I am not going to ask. Finally we are doing 1's- I am hyperventilating, snapping my head back and forth, trying to breath every stroke, wondering what the point of all this is, when finally the coach, who has been watching me in wonder, explains that he meant breaths per 50 not breaths per stroke. Doh!

Your'e lucky you didn't end up with whiplash throwing your head around enough to breathe every stroke!

lefty
April 20th, 2004, 11:06 AM
Originally posted by Mark in MD
[/size]And doing a pretty good job at it, too. Speaking of bubbles while swimming, that reminds me of a song in the 60's (?), Tiny Bubbles. Bubbles while swimming can inflate your suit if it's worn and losing its shape. :D Know what I mean? Shannon, consider yourself reminded. And Matt S. in a moustache ... can anyone picture that?

Don Ho, right?

Mark in MD
April 20th, 2004, 12:42 PM
Hey, Lefty! You're 100% correct. I had to search it on Google but you're a winner. The prize is Tom Ellison carrying around your towel, goggles, etc., at practices for one month, so that you don't forget anything else (like he did). :D

Tom Ellison
April 20th, 2004, 01:09 PM
How did I get sucked into this carrying some guys swim suit type nonsense? I am NOT going to carry a guys swim suit...NOT...
Now, I'd be glad to carry Connie's..any day, anytime...! Put my name in that hat...and fast....

Scansy
April 20th, 2004, 01:54 PM
Will Connie be in it at the time?:D

Mark in MD
April 20th, 2004, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by Tom Ellison
How did I get sucked into this carrying some guys swim suit type nonsense? I am NOT going to carry a guys swim suit...NOT... Now, I'd be glad to carry Connie's..any day, anytime...! Put my name in that hat...and fast.... Didn't say suit. Said "goggles, towel, etc." Etc. = sports bag. You were the first person who came to mind in awarding a prize. No you weren't, yes you were, no you weren't, yes you were. Where's Connie when you need her?

Karen Duggan
April 20th, 2004, 03:31 PM
I've lived in CA my whole life and I still don't know what the altitude is!! And how do I get the white out off of the computer screen? I need to learn to type better, too many mistakes.

Just kidding. I'm not blond, but I do love jokes :)

Tom Ellison
April 20th, 2004, 04:41 PM
Gosh, I hope she would...but it would/could be interesting if she wasn't....:D

pmbchill
July 2nd, 2004, 07:41 AM
At the Big Ten Championship at the University of Michigan in the 70's we (Ohio State) amused ourselves by trying to determine if one of the timers in lane 2 was male or female. Ironicly, about halfway through the meet this skinny, shorts and t-shirt-clad timer must have found the natatorium a bit too stuffy and hot and proceeded to stand up, take off the t-shirt and dive in to lane 2 for a very slow 50 yard swim. Delay of meet is an understatement! The officials banished this person from the natatorium but the strangest part is: even down to a bare chest and shorts, the mystery of this person's gender is, well, still a mystery!