View Full Version : Kid is going to quit.

February 10th, 2017, 03:48 PM
Anyone have a kid who quit at 15?

February 13th, 2017, 12:36 PM
Anyone have a kid who quit at 15?
My kids are younger than that, but in competing in masters as well as amongst clubs in USS I have seen my fair share of kids quit.. I've seen even more kids more or less forced to stay in swimming when they didn't like it. It leads to lack of effort and generally getting burned out but the time high school is over. The number of college teammates I had that quit in their prime was staggering, because they were forced to keep going. It's not for everyone, so maybe let them choose an alternative activity. If the love for the sport is there they will find their way back.

Mark Usher
February 13th, 2017, 12:56 PM
I quit when I was 15 in order to play football, wrestle and run track in high school. I wanted to do other things, plus at that age being on the football team was a bigger deal socially than swimming.
Knowing what I know now, I probably would have stuck with swimming, but you really can't 2nd guess those things.
Learning to make your own decisions (and living with the consequences) is part of growing up.

February 13th, 2017, 03:43 PM
My own kids were never really very competitive in their respective sports (swimming and hockey). They picked up whatever sports on their own and we're never forced to play (my only requirement of them was that if they wanted to go out for 'whatever' sport...that if they began the season, they finished the season, and attended all practices and games...barring illness/injury). But, I've seen some of their friends just quit (various sports) cold turkey at around that age. In some cases they were kids that had great potential, and the possibility of earning at least a college scholarship. But it became 'not fun' for those kids because they were participating year-round. Sometimes in multiple sports. They never had an off-season. In most cases, not all, the parents pushed to kid to compete at the highest, most intense level for their age-group to the point that is wasn't fun for the kid anymore. I coached a couple of youth sports teams when my kids were in grade school. I could usually tell which kids would give it up by high school. Not because of what the kids did or said. But what the parents did and said. They were the parents who 'made' their kids play; who would say things like "Oh, my kid will earn a scholarship." And then when the kid gives it up the parents are surprised. At that point the parent usually says "My kid always told me how much they enjoyed playing." But in reality that was just the kid trying to make the parent happy. Eventually the kid would let their real feelings known.


February 13th, 2017, 03:49 PM
I know a kid who quit club swimming in high school in favor of participating in other activities, but continued to swim during high school season only. It was a good choice for him, and will be swimming in college next year.

February 13th, 2017, 05:15 PM
Anyone have a kid who quit at 15?

Not personally but as a coach this is the witching age.

February 13th, 2017, 05:54 PM
When I was 16, I was invited to join a swim team. My parents and I didn't think that I would be good enough for competitive swimming, so we said no. I had completely stopped swimming then, focused on school and only started swimming again last year. That's a gap of 20+ years.

February 13th, 2017, 09:58 PM
All interesting. Thanks. We never put pressure on our son and to be honest never swam more than three times a week. He started 9th grade and we skipped varsity for him to focus on school which I think was right decision. Since school started he only swims once a week club. He does not want to go to practice or meets any more. Seems he lost some interest from what I think is a lack of swimming. The club's head coach left and a few of his teammates, so there seem to be a lot of factors. Trying to keep it all together somehow!

February 14th, 2017, 11:25 AM
Anyone have a kid who quit at 15?My second daughter scaled back her competitive swimming right around this age. The club my kids swam at, Scottsdale Aquatic Club, had a group they called 'High School Development' which was kind of like a USMS fitness workout for high school kids - no competition requirements, no attendance requirements, focused on fun and fitness. The original intent of the group was to provide year-round training for kids who only wanted to compete during the high school season, but they welcomed anyone (e.g., my daughter didn't even compete in HS). It was a great way for her to stay swimming and stay in shape. She did that through high school and is now swimming Masters. I don't know if many USAS clubs do this type of group, but I think it was a win-win: club got continued revenue and kids didn't drop out.

February 14th, 2017, 03:33 PM
I don't know if many USAS clubs do this type of group, but I think it was a win-win: club got continued revenue and kids didn't drop out.

Mine does and I agree with your assessment. Not every kid wants the full commitment that swimming often entails.

Chris Stevenson
February 14th, 2017, 04:14 PM
My son quit year-round swimming at 15. He was moved up to the morning practices and it was either wake up before 4am every morning, or swim with younger/slower people, or quit. He tried AM practices over the summer at a more reasonable hour (6am) and didn't like it, so he quit. He still swam for his HS team though; the last meet of his HS career is this weekend, as a matter of fact. He also still likes summer league swimming and will probably do that too, if his summer job schedule permits it.

February 14th, 2017, 09:38 PM
Thanks for the feedback. I coach for a different team than my sons, so I see all levels of commitment for lots of reasons, so I get it. Of course I wish he was excited about swimming. I gotta see what the summer brings and then if I can get him interested in trying varsity and hope that sets a hook. It is a tricky age right now.

February 14th, 2017, 09:40 PM
Chris, I would be very happy with a similar outcome as your son's. Extremely happy!

February 15th, 2017, 11:52 AM
My 3rd and final kid quit at 14 and concentrated on Track and Cross-Country. She didn't like the idea of 2-a-dayers in high school plus she thought she'd have a better chance running. Our girl's high school team just won their 31st straight title and will likely be mythical national high school champs for the 5th or 6th time in a row. Unfortunately, she had a ton of swimming talent and I hated to see this but I kept my mouth closed because there's nothing worse than living with an unhappy teenage girl. I don't think she ever regretted her decision.

February 15th, 2017, 02:04 PM
They all eventually find their own bliss. It will seldom be yours; nor yours, theirs. I was a track & field guy. My 4 children all gravitated toward something different, never running. I have no idea why they chose their sports. Soccer, volley ball, swimming, gymnastics, softball. That was what made them happy, not doing what I did, but whatever they were drawn to.

One son began his first year swimming in the please-don't-drown lane and in his senior year was team captain. One got cut from the high school soccer team. On his way to the locker room a friend told him they still needed volley ball players. He ended up as the MVP. The oldest daughter was into gymnastics since age 6. At 41 she can still do it all.

Your kid is not quitting, he's refocusing.

February 17th, 2017, 12:22 AM
I swam for a club team as a youth. At 14, I said I was quitting, and my parents, who were not themselves swimmers, did not protest. Halfway through the season, I realized I missed it and rejoined. I ended up doing much better for some reason (it was probably due to a growth spurt) and I only stopped once I hit the mandatory age for stopping (turned 18 right before my final season).

March 22nd, 2017, 08:46 PM
My son decided to go to Ystates this past weekend. He and I had a great time. He added in his 5and2 free, but dropped in breast and went 23.22 in his 50 free relay split which really impressed me (no conditioning needed). I was so happy just to even watch him warm up! I don't expect any swimming out of him again the rest of the school year, but maybe in the summer.

March 23rd, 2017, 02:03 PM
I have a kid who quit at 13. Of my 3 kids she was the most talented and successful swimmer in our family but possibly this stressed her out. Anyway, she told me she couldn't stand swimming anymore and wanted to change to cross-country and track (7th grade). I am a parent that fully supports my kids in their decisions so she dropped off the swim team and never looked back. I always hoped and thought she might go back to swimming in high school, she would have been a member of a team that currently holds the world record of the amount of state titles in a row(Carmel High School). She never returned to swimming but did run all 4 years of high school and loved it. I personally feel she had tons more talent in swimming than running but her heart just wasn't in it. A few years later (she had graduated from college and is working as a nurse in Florida) I was cleaning out kids rooms and getting rid of stuff. I stumbled upon her middle school journal and sat down and read it. I am so glad I supported her decision to quit swimming. Her last 2 or 3 months of swimming was filled with negativity, self doubt, and bad feelings toward swimming. I'm not sure what got her so negative. She did have a shoulder injury and her coach encouraged her to do her exercises 3X a day and keep swimming right through it. The other thing that seemed to scare her was when a coach told her of a very high ranking she had but pointed out to her who might beat her at State that year. Maybe she just didn't have the mental toughness required for swimming. Each child should be able to choose their own path to happiness I believe.

March 25th, 2017, 01:33 PM
I hear ya. My son never had an injury or adversity and never swam more than three days a week. It is not burnout or a lack of improving. After Y states, he's gone right back to nonswimmer. Just hoping he thinks about it and gets back in it. Maybe during summer.

April 4th, 2017, 11:47 AM
Anyone have a kid who quit at 15?
Sad, but if they really want to quit, you gotta let him or her.
But I'd also ask WHY and discuss their reasons.

April 8th, 2017, 09:19 PM
Thanks Ande. You are right. I will give him the space. There is still much time!

November 7th, 2017, 11:56 PM
So my son is swimming varsity this year as a sophomore! He had a setback with the shoulders after about 4 weeks of hard practice. Thatís expected after a year off. This is exciting. I hope the shoulders calm down. He is stopping for two weeks to let shoulders calm down and will miss first meet.