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SwiminONandON
May 6th, 2005, 05:09 PM
ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY
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Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

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DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 05:34 PM
May I step in here....uh hum....

TOILET SEATS - THE CONSEQUENCES OF LEAVING THEM UP
A behind the scenes look - a demonstration followed by discussion

IS YOUR DIALING FINGER BROKEN?
Don't leave her hanging! Discussion on creative and not so subtle ways to tell her you're not interested

FLOWERS 101
Yes - they do make a difference

SwiminONandON
May 6th, 2005, 05:36 PM
Kari, you rock ...

May I add ... Dancing 101, how to do more than just move your knees ....

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 05:38 PM
Heather - when do we start our new business venture?! ;)

We could start classes now. Any takers?

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 05:51 PM
Bud - LOL!!!

We're not that hard to figure out, really. Just call us when you say you will - and if you're not interested, don't pretend to be. If you're "just not that into us", then tell us so. I'd rather have that then some lame excuse.

Let's hear your side - what "classes" would we need to take?

SwiminONandON
May 6th, 2005, 05:53 PM
Amen, Kari. AND DON'T call us three times on our birthday make plans to meet us out, come, buy us a drink, introduce as to all your friends, hug us good-bye and say you'll call then fall off the face of the earth ... bastard!

That was a totaly hypothetical ;)

Kari, I say bootcamp starts Monday!

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 05:54 PM
LOL at #1.....see???? That's what I'm talkin' about. None of this "well.....well...I'll call you....."

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 05:55 PM
MAJOR THREAD HIJACK!!!!

The most recent issue of SWIMMER mag. stated that I was 33....NOT! I will be 40 this month and dangnabit, I've earned every one of those freakin' years!!! :p

Seagurl51
May 6th, 2005, 05:55 PM
Those are hilarious Bud! 16 and 18 are my favorites!!

SwiminONandON
May 6th, 2005, 05:59 PM
Reply Kari, I noticed that and thought, why is she trying to make herself out to be older than she is?

Bud, you rock! Love it, love it, love it.

Side note: we don't always want to cuddle, sometimes we just want to sleep, maybe that's just me ....

SwiminONandON
May 6th, 2005, 06:02 PM
Must add ... I like the break-up idea ... I am such a guy in relationships I am the one going do we really have to define this, can't we just see what happens? Sorry I didn't call I decided to go out with the girls ...

Fishgrrl
May 6th, 2005, 06:03 PM
Heather - I can't WAIT to be 40! (and that picture was taken two years ago and it the only one I could find with me near a pool and it's not my best angle.....)

Yes - bootcamp starts Monday! Grrrr.... and YES! I hate when a guy acts like he likes you then disappears!!! What's up with that??????

Bud - love your posts!

Ditto what Heather said - we don't always want to cuddle. I don't like doilies.

geochuck
May 6th, 2005, 07:46 PM
Heather

It was proven by me that only men know how the t p roll is installed. Women always install it incorrectly. I know this for a fact.

I also know that the Toilet seat should be left up only if is a commercial seat. It can be very dangerous when a little boy is doing his thing and it falls down.

George

tjrpatt
May 6th, 2005, 08:30 PM
When you get married and buy a house, make sure that you have his and her bathrooms so the man doesn't have to worry about keeping the seat down.

Karen Duggan
May 6th, 2005, 10:03 PM
Bud- How old are you and are you married?!

You either are very old and very married, or you're single. :p

I also love the lists. :)

Scansy
May 6th, 2005, 10:33 PM
OK, here's the scoop as I see it. (Answers mixed in below)

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

HECK, WE HAVE AN ICE MAKER IN THE FRIDGE

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

I AM THE ONLY ONE IN MY HOUSE WHO "RESTOCKS" THE TP DISPENSER

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

OK, MY WIFE AND I ARE BOTH LAUNDRY SLOBS.

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

KITCHEN IS MINE ALONE. I COOK AND I CLEAN THE KITCHEN.
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

CURED BY TWO SATELITES PLUS CABLE. ALSO HAVE LOTS OF TV'S IN THE HOUSE!

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

MY WIFE DOES SAY I HAVE "MALE PATTERN BLINDNESS"

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO USES MILK, SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation

ACTUALLY, I DO THE FLOWER THING ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH. (ANY MORE THAN THAT AND I MIGHT SPOIL HER!)

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

DIRECTIONS ARE FOR "GIRLY MEN"!

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

YES. THAT'S WHY WE LIVE IN THE 'BURBS - LOTS OF PARKING LOTS!

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

HEY WAIT, I DON'T DO "THAT" WITH MY MOTHER!!!

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

OK, I HATE SHOPPING. UNLESS IT'S FOR FISHING GEAR!!!

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class

I AM BETTER AT REMEMBERING OUR ANNIVERSARY THAN MY WIFE!!!

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

ALL THE TIME??? I'M WAITING FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Scansy
May 6th, 2005, 10:34 PM
Originally posted by SwiminONandON
Kari, you rock ...

May I add ... Dancing 101, how to do more than just move your knees ....

WAIT, I LOVE TO DANCE. MY WIFE HATES IT.

AM I THE WIFE????

Scansy
May 6th, 2005, 10:36 PM
Originally posted by bud

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
With Beer

Actually, the beer is optional!

Scansy
May 6th, 2005, 10:39 PM
Rule number one for relationships.....

Women have the one thing that all men want! Men will do anything for it. Some even pay for it!

Of course, I'm talking about a home cooked meal!

newmastersswimmer
May 6th, 2005, 11:44 PM
As far as classes go.....I think that the most important class is an "all gender" class that basically deals with treating other individuals (in general) with a little more kindness and a little more compassion........Letting other people choose how they want to live thier private lives without trying to force feed your own personal religious beliefs down everybody elses throat.....if you want to protect things like the sanctity of marriage then start with your own marriage and leave everybody else alone.......these are the basics IMHO of course.....as far as gender issues go...I'm not a big believer in these things.....calling people and treating people with kindness shouldn't be a gender specific issue as far as I am concerned....it's just the right way to treat other fellow human beings.


peace out,


newmastersswimmer

mattson
May 7th, 2005, 12:02 AM
Originally posted by Fishgrrl
The most recent issue of SWIMMER mag. stated that I was 33....NOT! I will be 40 this month and dangnabit, I've earned every one of those freakin' years!!! :p

By any chance, did you start swimming at the age of 7 ? Life doesn't start until you get in the pool...

Sidenote: An empty milk carton, left in the open, will soon start to smell (no matter how much you rinse it out). You leave the carton in the fridge until you are ready to take out the garbage.

Sonic Swimmer78
May 7th, 2005, 01:41 AM
The way I see it, it's flattering if men think women look younger than their actual age.


The one thing I've learned is to be a good listener. Open your ears and pay attention to what she says, no matter how you're feeling at the time.

...And if you're going to complement a woman, do it in a civilized manner, fellas.

"WOW! You're HOT!" will only get you in trouble.
"You're looking great this fine Saturday Morning!" Although subtle, it gets the point across maturely.

Tips for meeting women in the pool when you go swimming:

1. If a woman asks to share lanes with you, say "Yes!" no matter what your favorite lane is (Lane 5).

2. If you stumble across a lovely, attractive woman at the pool, tis best not to stare, staring only leads to getting slapped.

3. *this applies to #2* If you're truly attracted, don't say the first thing that pops in your head. Edit yourself for heaven's sake! ...and if you can't think of a mature thing to say, just keep quiet, but at the same time don't look creepy and scare her off.

4. Compliment her swimming technique when she's done working out. I always find this very useful.

5. DON'T OVER DO IT! If she likes you, don't rush it and don't stalk her. It's creepy for both genders, not just women.

6. Find something you both have in common.

7. Never, ever use the Johnny Bravo Meathod "Hey there aquatic mama, how's about you an' I share a lane and swim laps in the pool of love!"

8. Show respect.

9. Always be a gentlemen

10. Be a good sport. If she beat you on that 50 Fly, don't whine about it. Suck it up and take it like a man.

Kari
May 8th, 2005, 11:44 PM
I dunno Sonic....I don't mind hearing the "WOW! You look hot!" phrase....;)

SwiminONandON
May 8th, 2005, 11:57 PM
I don't mind wow you are hot either. And if some guy pulled out the Johnny Bravo line I'd be thinking he was darn funny ... I don't share lanes well, if someone is looking at me like they might want to share I start swimming fly that usually scares them off ... ;)

And I must confess I've done my fair share of being mysterious and "suddenly not calling" ...

Sonic Swimmer78
May 9th, 2005, 11:07 AM
Okay, I'll admit, I'm not nearly as experienced as Bud is. I'm just trying too hard I guess.

Although I have to admit that I'm always a Gentlemen around a woman. One thing you'll never see me do is howl and whistle loudly when I see an attractive female swimmer.

Ladies, if you were at the pool working out, what would you do if you shared a lane with a guy who looks interested in you and asks you out to dinner?

Inquiring minds like mine want to know. :)

SwiminONandON
May 9th, 2005, 11:27 AM
I'd probably go ... as long as I wasn't seeing someone else at the time ... I'm guessing this isn't a hypothetical. Good luck! ;)

Karen Duggan
May 9th, 2005, 11:31 AM
Is he creepy? :p

SwiminONandON
May 9th, 2005, 11:35 AM
lol, Karen, I had the same thought originally ...

Sonic Swimmer78
May 9th, 2005, 11:44 AM
This question is null and void if the guy is creepy.

No creepiness here.

Scansy
May 9th, 2005, 12:34 PM
If a guy gets all decked out in swim gear, gets in a lane and just stands around in the shallow end for a half hour - all the while, looking at the women - is that creepy?:confused:

Because I've been getting a lot of angry looks recently.....:D

SwiminONandON
May 9th, 2005, 12:36 PM
Nawh, Scansy, that's hot! ;)

Scansy
May 9th, 2005, 01:24 PM
Did I just see the "Sarcasm Meter" fly off the chart or what!?!?!:confused: :confused: :confused: