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The Fortress
December 5th, 2006, 10:59 AM
I got this joke via email from my female coach. If you are easily offended, please go straight to another thread. This is just a joke. It is not an opinion, theory or religion.

Why men are never depressed

Men are just happier people -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park. You can wear no t-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world and the pool is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a bolt. You never ask for directions. You never ask for permission to go to practice.

Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. Having a chest does not eliminate backstroke. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You use great big paddles and no fins. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't know what "chlorine damage" means. You only have to shave your face and neck unless it's taper time.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your hips. Your bodyskin sucks in your belly and covers gray chest hair. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

SwimStud
December 5th, 2006, 11:07 AM
LOL very funny...though I'm not a true man by those standard then. I love my shoes!

dorianblade
December 5th, 2006, 11:23 AM
The reason most of it is true because we have proper PRIORITIES! We don't have time for 2 hour phone calls, 200 pairs of shoes and worry about insignificant things when we're trying to make a living and be successful individuals!

Just kidding.

knelson
December 5th, 2006, 11:43 AM
Having a chest does not eliminate backstroke.

I don't get this one. It seems like backstroke would be the best stroke for someone with a large chest.


You use great big paddles and no fins.

Very true. I love big paddles :)

CreamPuff
December 5th, 2006, 01:40 PM
Hee hee and "Doh!" at the same time.

I think I officially fall under the man category - starting w/ my last name staying
put after I got married and giving the entire wedding for my mom to handle . . .

Underwear is free when you go commando.

How to break this news to my husband tonight. . .

Caped Crusader
December 5th, 2006, 02:20 PM
I think I officially fall under the man category - starting w/ my last name staying put after I got married and giving the entire wedding for my mom to handle . . ..

My wife is like a guy too. The name change issue produced a lot of this :argue: Now, I don't get to play with toys much. She threw out my big paddles. And she definitely didn't think the physical act of being pregnant was a perk.

SwimStud
December 5th, 2006, 02:24 PM
...And she definitely didn't think the physical act of being pregnant was a perk.

Jeeez 9 months of being the centre of attention just isn't enough for some women...I dunno SG...am I wrong? Is it just me? :laugh2:

CreamPuff
December 5th, 2006, 02:54 PM
My wife is like a guy too. The name change issue produced a lot of this :argue: Now, I don't get to play with toys much. She threw out my big paddles. And she definitely didn't think the physical act of being pregnant was a perk.

Well - fortunately, my husband was kind enough to not argue with me on the name change issue. I had a choice of staying with Ulveling or changing to Grubb. As my dad said, neither (no offense to Grubbs out there) were too appealing. So, I thought I'd at least eliminate any paperwork by staying the same!

http://forums.usms.org/images/smilies/wink.gif
;)

DanSad
December 5th, 2006, 03:05 PM
Taking the man's name is tradition, the man giving the woman a diamond ring is tradition. So if she doesn't take the last name we shouldn't have to give her a diamond ring.

SwimStud
December 5th, 2006, 03:19 PM
Taking the man's name is tradition, the man giving the woman a diamond ring is tradition. So if she doesn't take the last name we shouldn't have to give her a diamond ring.

*theme music from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" plays*

Where's my flame retardent suit? :eek:

swimr4life
December 5th, 2006, 03:57 PM
Jeeez 9 months of being the centre of attention just isn't enough for some women...I dunno SG...am I wrong? Is it just me? :laugh2:
Sorry....you're wrong! It's more like 9 months of fatigue, backache, nausea, varicose veins, painful boobs, hemorrhoids. Sound like fun?:shakeshead:

CreamPuff
December 5th, 2006, 06:02 PM
Taking the man's name is tradition, the man giving the woman a diamond ring is tradition. So if she doesn't take the last name we shouldn't have to give her a diamond ring.

He he

How would last name hyphenation count? Do you split the cost of the ring?
Or do you just agree on nice steak dinner and call it a night?

For example, two of our friends got married. He was Ian Seymour and she was Ellen Strain. HE changed to Ian Strain-Seymour. And she became Ellen Strain-Seymour. The troubles that lie ahead for them. . .

SwimStud
December 5th, 2006, 07:27 PM
Sorry....you're wrong! It's more like 9 months of fatigue, backache, nausea, varicose veins, painful boobs, hemorrhoids. Sound like fun?:shakeshead:

Sounds like another day at the office for me ;)

Hehe Beth...I was being blatantly "guy-like" in anticipation of incineration for my first post...you were quite reserved. :)

Sydney
December 5th, 2006, 07:55 PM
Wow, it turns out I'm actually a man!

Incidentally, all the fast backstrokers on my highschool team had big chests.

Muppet
December 5th, 2006, 08:07 PM
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Thats not the impression I get from m'lady. :joker:

har har

SwimStud
December 6th, 2006, 09:28 PM
...well at least you girls don't have to worry about cold water causing shrinkage! :rofl:

Caped Crusader
December 6th, 2006, 10:11 PM
Glad you said that. It was really worrying me too man. ;)

The Fortress
January 18th, 2007, 11:13 PM
Here's another one from my joke email bag. After reading the "women are trouble" thread, I thought I'd stick it on here. Please don't read if you take offense easily. After re-reading this, I think I may be a "man" myself. Except on the body temperature issue. I'm always freezing unless it's summer.

Facts About Men

25 Things Women Should Know About Men:

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, you should be worried about him.

16. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

17. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

18. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

20. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

21. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

22. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave so fast, they leave skid marks.

23. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

24. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

25. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

SwimStud
January 18th, 2007, 11:19 PM
When is number 24 going to start? Dammit!

The Fortress
January 18th, 2007, 11:23 PM
When is number 24 going to start? Dammit!

Pretty soon, I bet. Judging from the "SwimStud" status. :cool:

Does the wife have the eyecurler/gun too?

SwimStud
January 18th, 2007, 11:28 PM
Pretty soon, I bet. Judging from the "SwimStud" status. :cool:

Does the wife have the eyecurler/gun too?

I've never understood why guys are supposed to be scared of those things...

jaegermeister
January 18th, 2007, 11:36 PM
When is number 24 going to start? Dammit!

I don't own a motorcycle, but I am acting a bit strangely lately. Is this why I'm swimming 200 fly while other people watch?

poolraat
January 28th, 2007, 11:53 AM
Seems a lot of the people here are engineers, doctors, and lawyers so here's one I stumbled across:

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

mattson
January 29th, 2007, 05:08 PM
Facts About Men
25 Things Women Should Know About Men:
...
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
...

Does it make me less of a man, that I'd like to get the new Apple phone, which has no buttons at all? :dunno:

Caped Crusader
January 29th, 2007, 05:11 PM
Does it make me less of a man, that I'd like to get the new Apple phone, which has no buttons at all? :dunno:

Count me in for that phone!

3strokes
April 30th, 2007, 04:49 PM
I got this joke via email from my female coach. If you are easily offended, please go straight to another thread. This is just a joke. It is not an opinion, theory or religion.

Catching up on my reading



Why men are never depressed
................
The garage is all yours.

..... for a while and then goes away with the house.



You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park. You can wear no t-shirt to a water park.


We (men, that is) never said you (women, that is) couldn't.
(Some, our mothers, sisters and daughters, shouldn't;
others have our heart-felt support. If there's a pun
in there somewhere, then I'm glad.) ;)

swim4me
April 30th, 2007, 07:22 PM
I've never understood why guys are supposed to be scared of those things...

Let Mrs. SwimStud use hers on you and then get back with us :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

SwimStud
April 30th, 2007, 07:28 PM
Let Mrs. SwimStud use hers on you and then get back with us :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I'm confused...

Got Boost
May 1st, 2007, 12:42 AM
I agree with both lists.
Got Boost

FindingMyInnerFish
May 1st, 2007, 07:25 AM
Men need not fear me. My eyelashes curl naturally, so I don't need an eyelash curler. :cool:

As for shoes, my boyfriend collects them like Imelda Marcos...oh but they're running shoes he collects.

Here's a joke I've heard: What's the difference between men and women? Women tend to have ESP, whereas men have ESPN.

Slowswim
May 1st, 2007, 09:39 AM
...gotta agree, but you forgot we get the grill too! Also, I've never heard a man say, "Do these jeans make my @$$ look fat?" What hair, mine departed years ago and my wife loves it. She cuts my hair weekly with an electric razor we bought 5 years ago for $20!!

But if we have it so good, why do we die so much early. Probably just an inferior design. We were the proto-type.
:groovy:
</IMG>

SwimStud
May 1st, 2007, 09:43 AM
...But if we have it so good, why do we die so much early.

...I've heard some say it's for some peace and quiet...:rofl:

Actually there was a study on longevity for Women...
...never married women lived longer than married and then divorced women, who both outlived married women.

This would be a fun study to read!

3strokes
May 1st, 2007, 09:48 AM
But if we have it so good, why do we die so much early.


Some would argue that dying early = having it good.

These last additional few years are where we're at our weakest, least productive and most prone to suffering. I ( 4 1 )* would not mind not living those years.



* That is not a "41" (as in years) but "for one"

swimr4life
May 1st, 2007, 09:53 AM
Ok...this will sound corny...but I'd rather live a shorter life with my sweet hubby than a longer life without him! :smooch:

Slowswim
May 1st, 2007, 10:04 AM
Awwwwwwwwwww...

ensignada
May 1st, 2007, 10:13 AM
...I've heard some say it's for some peace and quiet...:rofl:



Ok, that's good.

Leonard Jansen
May 1st, 2007, 10:22 AM
But if we have it so good, why do we die so much early.

It's just the old joke:
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: Because they want to.

-LBJ

knelson
May 1st, 2007, 10:41 AM
Actually there was a study on longevity for Women...
...never married women lived longer than married and then divorced women, who both outlived married women.

This would be a fun study to read!

Yeah, I'm taking the fun out of this, but doesn't it make sense? Married women are more likely to have more children than divorced women or never married women. A small percentage of women die from childbirth complications, so it makes sense that married women would statistically die younger (everything else being equal). Of course the difference caused by this could be so minor it wouldn't really affect anything.

The Fortress
May 1st, 2007, 10:47 AM
Yeah, I'm taking the fun out of this, but doesn't it make sense? Married women are more likely to have more children than divorced women or never married women. A small percentage of women die from childbirth complications, so it makes sense that married women would statistically die younger (everything else being equal).

My husband doesn't want to die early! He's obsessed with exercise.

On the other hand, I believe childbirth & breastfeeding are linked to a reduction in certain types of cancer.

And don't married men live longer than unmarried men? So the married men are killing off the married women sooner, but the married women are helping the married men live longer? :laugh2:

swimr4life
May 1st, 2007, 10:59 AM
And don't married men live longer than unmarried men? So the married men are killing off the married women sooner, but the married women are helping the married men live longer? :laugh2:

I've heard that too! I guess men depend on us to calm them down....less "risky" behavior once they get married? The bachelorhood type things guys do aren't exactly healthy- eating burgers and fries or pizza every meal, maybe drinking a little more heavily and "other" activities that may put them at risk? :dunno:

Slowswim
May 1st, 2007, 11:26 AM
I've heard that too! I guess men depend on us to calm them down....less "risky" behavior once they get married? The bachelorhood type things guys do aren't exactly healthy- eating burgers and fries or pizza every meal, maybe drinking a little more heavily and "other" activities that may put them at risk? :dunno:

Naw, its just the middle-aged husband bumps off his "old" wife as soon as the kids are out of college so he can get a "new" 20-something wife.:thhbbb:

:banana: :rofl:
</IMG></IMG></IMG></IMG>

swimr4life
May 1st, 2007, 11:30 AM
Naw, its just the middle-aged husband bumps off his "old" wife as soon as the kids are out of college so he can get a "new" 20-something wife.:thhbbb:

:banana: :rofl:
</IMG></IMG></IMG></IMG>

Oh boy...are you in trouble now. Just wait til I show your last post to Mrs. Slowswim.....she may bump you off first!:thhbbb:

Slowswim
May 1st, 2007, 11:36 AM
Ummmm, it was just a hypothesis...:dunno:

but since I have a 3 year old, they being throwing dirt in my face long before she graduates college.:snore:
</IMG></IMG>

ensignada
May 1st, 2007, 06:57 PM
My mom is always fascinated by the number of really old nuns. Never married, no kids...makes you wonder.

The Fortress
May 1st, 2007, 09:59 PM
My mom is always fascinated by the number of really old nuns. Never married, no kids...makes you wonder.

Well, it's apparently not OK to be a "professional freeloader." Nowadays, you must be beautiful, smart, skinny, athletic, successful at your job, have genius children, be great in bed (but otherwise a nun), a gourmet chef, etc. If not, you are "bumped." I hate the concept of adolescent trophy wives. Exactly who told men they deserve someone 30 years younger? Ew. Double ew.

But I don't think Beth will ever be "bumped." She's in love with her sweet husband. :)

SwimStud
May 1st, 2007, 10:18 PM
Well, it's apparently not OK to be a "professional freeloader." Nowadays, you must be beautiful, smart, skinny, athletic, successful at your job, have genius children, be great in bed (but otherwise a nun), a gourmet chef, etc. If not, you are "bumped." I hate the concept of adolescent trophy wives. Exactly who told men they deserve someone 30 years younger? Ew. Double ew.

But I don't think Beth will ever be "bumped." She's in love with her sweet
husband. :)

I'm just glad to be a trophy husband...

The Fortress
May 1st, 2007, 10:31 PM
I'm just glad to be a trophy husband...

Ha! Unfortunately for you, I've seen your wife and she's very cute and young looking. So you don't exactly fit the mold of a trophy husband. What, are you planning to "bump" Mrs. Stud off soon? Just let her be in love with the diamond calves a wee bit longer.

ensignada
May 1st, 2007, 10:53 PM
I have informed my husband that I am his trophy wife.

FindingMyInnerFish
May 2nd, 2007, 06:52 AM
I have informed my husband that I am his trophy wife.

:applaud: Good one, that!

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 08:27 AM
Ha! Unfortunately for you, I've seen your wife and she's very cute and young looking. So you don't exactly fit the mold of a trophy husband. What, are you planning to "bump" Mrs. Stud off soon? Just let her be in love with the diamond calves a wee bit longer.


I was getting complaints about the stubble last night...

swimr4life
May 2nd, 2007, 09:02 AM
I have informed my husband that I am his trophy wife.

I LOVE IT!! Can I use that quote? :)

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 09:49 AM
Exactly who told men they deserve someone 30 years younger?

The 20 somethings with no higher aspirations than to be a trophy wife.

We are just innocent by-standers to the devious plottings of young voluptuous women.
:dunno:

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 10:08 AM
The 20 somethings with no higher aspirations than to be a trophy wife.

We are just innocent by-standers to the devious plottings of young voluptuous women.
:dunno:

Voluptous is good, athletic is good..scrawny, "diet of lettuce and water" Paris Hilton/Posh-spice is not...besides both of them aren't that cute anyhow.

poolraat
May 2nd, 2007, 10:13 AM
I'm just glad to be a trophy husband...


I'm the trophy husband too.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 10:21 AM
Paris Hilton/Posh-spice is not...besides both of them aren't that cute anyhow.

I agree as I've aged my concept of what a pretty woman is has changed with me. I can't image a 20 something wife. I can't image we'd even really have anything in common. I have a friend date a girl 15-years younger. Besides looking like his daughter, they had nothing in common except that he could buy her stuff boys her age couldn't. I was polite, but we couldn't even have a real conversation.

I still remember being 15 and dreaming about the 17 YO cheerleader in my class. Now she'd just look like a kid.

I am so lucky to have a wife (of 22 years) that is my age and wants the same thing out of life and enjoy the same thing I do. I've got a keeper!:groovy: :applaud: :woot:
</IMG></IMG></IMG>

Leonard Jansen
May 2nd, 2007, 10:32 AM
The 20 somethings with no higher aspirations than to be a trophy wife.

We are just innocent by-standers to the devious plottings of young voluptuous women.
:dunno:

I think that is the basis of the TV show "The Bachelor." God, that show makes my skin crawl. Every time I see a few minutes of it, I find myself wanting to smack the women in the back of the head and lecture them about getting a little self-respect and their own identities.

-LBJ

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 10:38 AM
I think that is the basis of the TV show "The Bachelor." God, that show makes my skin crawl. Every time I see a few minutes of it, I find myself wanting to smack the women in the back of the head and lecture them about getting a little self-respect and their own identities.

-LBJ

Is that lecture held in the hot tub or no?

:rofl:

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 10:43 AM
I think that is the basis of the TV show "The Bachelor." God, that show makes my skin crawl. Every time I see a few minutes of it, I find myself wanting to smack the women in the back of the head and lecture them about getting a little self-respect and their own identities.

-LBJ

Exactly!! My wife tapes it so I have to watch it!:help:

One thing at gets me is they all keeps says something like, I need time with him so we'll pick me. Nothing of whether she loves him!?! Only one ever refused the rose.

IMO: I think most women want to win and will think about marriage after the show is over.
</IMG>

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 11:19 AM
The 20 somethings with no higher aspirations than to be a trophy wife.

We are just innocent by-standers to the devious plottings of young voluptuous women.
:dunno:

I don't know that these 20-something women "aspire" to be a trophy wife. More likely, they are flattered that someone older and more experienced is interested in them. Or they crave some security. Or they "believe" that the guy's wife never understood or appreciated him. Lacking that all important life-experience and self-esteem, they may not see it happening until they are ones being served.

And Stud? Your comment re voluptuous, athletic vs lettuce-eating and scrawny is exactly what makes you the SwimStud. :smooch:

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 11:32 AM
I...they are flattered that someone older and more experienced is interested in them...

Really? I can't believe that for a minute. :rofl:

Oh we mustn't forget there are the trouble makers who enjoy a challenge (that's a laugh... men aren't a challenge please we're easy) of leading them astray.
IMHO that's why the women get more flak than guys about this sort of thing--usually. Not saying I agree with the double standard...just that is how I interpret it. e.g. Marriage Wrecker label etc.

Lastly my friend from Guatemala says there is a saying in his country:
"The bone is for the dog; the meat is for the man!"

A catchy signature I think...LMAO

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 11:45 AM
from SwimStud
"Oh we mustn't forget there are the trouble makers who enjoy a challenge (that's a laugh... men aren't a challenge please we're easy) of leading them astray."

Oh, I've seen the gold-digging thing up close and personal and it's not a pretty sight. I know a woman who left her two young sons to be with "Mr. Big Shot" (a friend's now ex). She wanted his money and he wanted her....well, you know. You bet there are women out there who are up for a "challenge".

Silly me, I married for love.

3strokes
May 2nd, 2007, 12:33 PM
I still remember being 15 and dreaming about the 17 YO cheerleader in my class.

..... When I (and my group) were 15 to 17, the 15 to 17 year-old girls would date guys in their 19's and early twenties (more-money and cars).

So we kept dreaming about that magical day when we would turn 20.

When that happened, the 15-to-17 girls, turned moronic (hippy or Hep or whatever they called it) and adapted to boys their same age and the 20-year old girls were "Never-mind-about-dating. This-is-Egypt. Are-you-ready-to-marry-me-before-a-complete-stranger-asks-my-father-for-my-hand?"

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 12:40 PM
I think that is the basis of the TV show "The Bachelor." God, that show makes my skin crawl. Every time I see a few minutes of it, I find myself wanting to smack the women in the back of the head and lecture them about getting a little self-respect and their own identities.
-LBJ


I agree!! This has to be the lowest form of "entertainment" possible. A girl harem fawning and fighting over some shallow guy.

After catching up on this reading, I'm really glad I married a guy that likes feisty, smart, athletic women about his age. It pays to be really picky.

Rich:

Don't say men are "easy." Then it will turn into the infidelity thread. Remember we all have brains and free will.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:43 PM
Rich:

Don't say men are "easy." Then it will turn into the infidelity thread. Remember we all have brains and free will.

I said Men are easy....not blameless...and it was tongue in cheek.

Fort you know me better than that...you're acting like SWMNBN ;)




Silly me, I married for love.

I married for a Greencard...so my Father in law thought...did he not realise how hot his daughter is...

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 12:45 PM
I said Men are easy....not blameless...and it was tongue in cheek.

Fort you know me better than that...you're acting like SWMNBN ;)

SHMNBN?!?! :eek: :confused:

I was just teasing and playing hard to get. ;)

But I do hate the notion that people "can't help" but cheat.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:48 PM
SHMNBN?!?! :eek: :confused:

I was just teasing and playing hard to get. ;)

But I do hate the notion that people "can't help" but cheat.

well yeah that could open up a huge debate...
Everyone has a choice.


it looks like I "got" you with the acronym anyhow.. lol

3strokes
May 2nd, 2007, 12:51 PM
In all these talks, it seems to escape some that men
have both X and Y Chromosomes. So, don't forget
men's feminine sides. Mine is very strong and has
characteristics typically found in the Island of Λέσβος

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:54 PM
In all these talks, it seems to escape some that men
have both X and Y Chromosomes. So, don't forget
men's feminine sides. Mine is very strong and has
characteristics typically found in the Island of Λέσβος

Mrs Stud is holding my chromosones hostage for the duration....

:rofl:

knelson
May 2nd, 2007, 12:59 PM
My mom is always fascinated by the number of really old nuns. Never married, no kids...makes you wonder.

It could possibly have more to do with the nuns having "recruiting problems" these days. All the nuns you see are old because young people don't want to be nuns anymore.

Leonard Jansen
May 2nd, 2007, 01:23 PM
I agree!! This has to be the lowest form of "entertainment" possible. A girl harem fawning and fighting over some shallow guy.

Even more difficult to understand is the guy: You end up hurting all these women, vapid or not, and then proudly get to announce to the world that you've won your wife as a prize on a TV show.

I STILL have guilt about the two women I broke up with in college 30 years ago even though I did it as kindly as I could think to do it. (OK, as an emotionally retarded person, I probably didn't do such a good job.) To crush all those women on national TV and still have any self-respect is just incomprehensible.

And to make matters worse, not one of those women has a swimmer's build. (OK, that was shallow & sexist.)

-LBJ

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:26 PM
I STILL have guilt about the two women I broke up with in college 30 years ago even though I did it as kindly as I could think to do it. (OK, as an emotionally retarded person, I probably didn't do such a good job.)

Hey, hey, I do the sensitive caring stuff here LBJ...their could be legal ramifications lol

knelson
May 2nd, 2007, 01:35 PM
To crush all those women on national TV and still have any self-respect is just incomprehensible.

Are they really crushed? It's purely entertainment. I can't believe the bachelor himself or any of the girls really take the whole thing as seriously as some of the viewers at home. Heck, everything they do is with a camera stuck in their face. Maybe there's an element of reality in there, but for the most part it's straight up acting.

3strokes
May 2nd, 2007, 01:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fortress http://forums.usms.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.usms.org/showthread.php?p=91155#post91155)
I agree!! This has to be the lowest form of "entertainment" possible. A girl harem fawning and fighting over some shallow guy.




Even more difficult to understand is the guy: You end up hurting all these women, vapid or not, and then proudly get to announce to the world that you've won your wife as a prize on a TV show.



Aren't we forgetting something when we talk about these "reality" TV shows? These are people ready to gobble live grubs and plunge their heads in vats of worms (not even streamlining) and subject themselves to disgusting actions, just
a) to be on TV, and
b) for a chance at whatever the prize is.

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 02:00 PM
[quote=SwimStud;91157]I said Men are easy....not blameless...and it was tongue in cheek.

Fort you know me better than that...you're acting like SWMNBN ;)quote]

Robin Williams said it best on Leno:

"Men have two h @ds, but only enough blood to operation one-at-a-time."
:rofl:

(I know he said it on TV, I'm trying to keep it clean)


SS: what is SWMNBN?:confused:

Leonard Jansen
May 2nd, 2007, 02:01 PM
Hey, hey, I do the sensitive caring stuff here LBJ...their could be legal ramifications lol

OK, then I'll give you their names and phone #'s and you can call them and try to make it right for me.

-LBJ

Leonard Jansen
May 2nd, 2007, 02:11 PM
Aren't we forgetting something when we talk about these "reality" TV shows? These are people ready to gobble live grubs and plunge their heads in vats of worms (not even streamlining) and subject themselves to disgusting actions, just
a) to be on TV, and
b) for a chance at whatever the prize is.

Regardless of how "real" this is (as Kirk said) or whatever the motivation is to be the south end of a north-bound horse, being involved with this is just too hard to grasp. Everyone involved comes off looking either cruel or brainless.

-LBJ

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 02:38 PM
[quote=SwimStud;91157]I said Men are easy....not blameless...and it was tongue in cheek.

Fort you know me better than that...you're acting like SWMNBN ;)quote]

Robin Williams said it best on Leno:

"Men have two h @ds, but only enough blood to operation one-at-a-time."
:rofl:

(I know he said it on TV, I'm trying to keep it clean)


SS: what is SWMNBN?:confused:
She Who Must Not Be Named ;)

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 02:39 PM
OK, then I'll give you their names and phone #'s and you can call them and try to make it right for me.

-LBJ

well I can only try...first move is of course telling them how insensitive I thought YOU were!...

:rofl:

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 03:37 PM
"Men have two h @ds, but only enough blood to operation one-at-a-time."
:rofl:

SS: what is SWMNBN?:confused:

Not all men! That's why you're quoting a comedian. LOL.
SWMNBN = HWMNBN, the comparison is a little scarey.

LBJ:

Get over your guilt! BTW, I haven't noticed a single swimmmers' shoulder on my brief glimpses of that yucky show.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 03:39 PM
Not all men! That's why you're quoting a comedian. LOL.
SWMNBN = HWMNBN, the comparison is a little scarey.

Not too many men will admit to only having one...
:rofl:

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 04:34 PM
[quote=Slowswim;91186]
She Who Must Not Be Named ;)


:rofl:
I missed that whole event and Fort was nice enough to clue me in, thanx.

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 04:46 PM
Not too many men will admit to only having one...
:rofl:

Well, if you're not going to defend your own kind, I'll just agree that men are simplistic creatures and that women are the smarter and superior gender. :rofl:

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 04:50 PM
Well, if you're not going to defend your own kind, I'll just agree that men are simplistic creatures and that women are the smarter and superior gender. :rofl:

No one was argued that point at all Fort.:bow:

But I'll take my menopause over yours.:rofl:
</IMG></IMG></IMG>

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 04:52 PM
No one was argued that point at all Fort.:bow:

But I'll take my menopause over yours.:rofl:
</IMG></IMG></IMG>

Yeah, I think I'm skipping mine and going right to the hot cars and cute hunks waiting on me. I think FindingYourInnerFish has the right idea. Besides, I've been a trophy wife long enough. :D My husband is just too old.

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 04:58 PM
Yeah, I think I'm skipping mine and going right to the hot cars and cute hunks waiting on me. I think FindingYourInnerFish has the right idea. Besides, I've been a trophy wife long enough. :D My husband is just too old.

Sorry, I'm not available. My daughter is only three so I have to wait 19 more years until I can Bump off the current Mrs. S. :frustrated:

By then, a grandma on Social Security would be a Trophy wife to me. Oh well, might as well just keep her.:hug:
</IMG></IMG></IMG>

Peter Cruise
May 2nd, 2007, 06:13 PM
While I've been sleeping the sleep of the Truly Innocent and Exhausted, all my buddies are nattering on about sex and politics; can religion be far behind?

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 10:46 PM
Sorry, I'm not available. My daughter is only three so I have to wait 19 more years until I can Bump off the current Mrs. S. :frustrated:

By then, a grandma on Social Security would be a Trophy wife to me. Oh well, might as well just keep her.:hug:
</IMG></IMG></IMG>

I think you're too old anyway, Bill! I got awhile yet before I am an official old lady. As well as 14 years until I would be scheduled to bump off Mr. Fort.

Thanks for readily acknowledging we're the superior gender. It seemed self-evident, but it's always good to have you admit it right off the bat rather than engaging in useless defense.

Peter:

I'm sure we don't want to let you down, so I will just say I can't bear religious intolerance. Can't we all just get along and let everyone believe whatever they want unless they're Tom Cruise or terrorists? Having studied history, I obviously know the answer to that question is no.

knelson
May 2nd, 2007, 11:55 PM
can religion be far behind?

Yes, the church of chlorine.

Peter Cruise
May 3rd, 2007, 09:38 AM
Penance will consist of 10 x 400Im's best average...

ensignada
May 3rd, 2007, 10:12 AM
Then I'm doomed.

Surely there must be another penance for those of us yet to destroy our shoulders with fly?

(I personally am waiting until I'm 85 or so to learn to fly. Then I'll only swim fly events...and clean up) :D

3strokes
May 3rd, 2007, 01:06 PM
Then I'm doomed.

Surely there must be another penance for those of us yet to destroy our shoulders with fly?



I know we're not supposed to offer to sell/buy stuff in these Fora, but I'm sure the admins will allow this one exception. "I know where indulgences can be had for a song -and a danse, with -at a discounted rate- six veils or less."

Allen Stark
May 6th, 2007, 05:40 PM
I don't think the gender differences are all they are made out to be. I seem to have more in common with breaststrokers of either gender than with backstrokers. The differences between genders pale next to trying to understand non-swimmers.:dedhorse:
I've been married to my trophy wife for 36 years and am glad she has put up with me:hug: