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FlyQueen
December 21st, 2006, 03:41 PM
I found this amusing and rather enjoyable, as well as true!


Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn by Dave Barry
1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
11. You should not confuse your career with your life.
12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
15. Your friends love you, anyway.
16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The Fortress
December 21st, 2006, 03:54 PM
I just got these from my Canadian coach:

"Do Canadians have a sense of humor?"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/Mooker3065/Other/firehazard.jpg

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/191275/jokeid/57326

poolraat
December 21st, 2006, 04:28 PM
Another one by Dave:

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

scyfreestyler
December 21st, 2006, 04:37 PM
Shoot, I'm only 32 and even I know that stuff!

scyfreestyler
December 21st, 2006, 04:39 PM
I always like to say "There is only one thing that we can all know for certain...nothing is for certain".

Dumb, I know...but it is so true so often.

islandsox
December 21st, 2006, 05:16 PM
Okay, I actually loved number 6. But I have to take a big time issue with number 5, the birthday one.

What I have found in all of my years is this: if I am not celebrating my birthday, then I am dead. Bad alternative. (LOL).

Donna

scyfreestyler
December 21st, 2006, 05:23 PM
I think Ronald Reagan stopped celebrating birthdays at 39, at which point he merely celebrated the anniversary of his 39th birthday.

Larry_55
December 21st, 2006, 08:23 PM
If you like Dave Berry he has at least a couple of books I've read that are a Hoot! Check 'em out if you haven't already.

FindingMyInnerFish
December 21st, 2006, 09:11 PM
Okay, I actually loved number 6. But I have to take a big time issue with number 5, the birthday one.

What I have found in all of my years is this: if I am not celebrating my birthday, then I am dead. Bad alternative. (LOL).

Donna

I'm with you! I think birthdays should be a big deal! Mine and others' Here are some reasons why:

--What you said.
--We get closer to and sometimes even enter a higher age group, and those of us *ahem* of a certain age rather like this as we age up a bit further.
--People take us out for drinks and give us cool stuff sometimes.

But (think of this especially during the holidays when it also applies...), a major reason would be... <roll of drums please>

--Cake and ice cream, ordinarlily loaded with calories, are calorie free when eaten at a birthday party, either yours or someone you care about (because it would be just so wrong to let a birthday boy or girl eat cake and ice cream alone). So the Calorie Distribution Bureau declares Calorie Amnesty at such times.

FlyQueen
December 22nd, 2006, 09:18 AM
Okay, I actually loved number 6. But I have to take a big time issue with number 5, the birthday one.

What I have found in all of my years is this: if I am not celebrating my birthday, then I am dead. Bad alternative. (LOL).

Donna

I have been sharing this list with people and preface #6 with I totally don't believe this one, but ...

I LOVE birthdays, mine and everyone else's. I love making a big deal out of them. It's your day you should get to celebrate, and everyone should worship you for that day! I actually tend to celebrate the whole month of September though ...

Caped Crusader
December 22nd, 2006, 10:30 AM
I just got these from my Canadian coach:

"Do Canadians have a sense of humor?"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/Mooker3065/Other/firehazard.jpg

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/191275/jokeid/57326

That first photo was seriously funny. Why haven't all the Canadians on this forum come to laugh? Why are there so many Canadians on a US forum? Not that I don't like them; they're very funny and I'd like to meet them. I guess they don't have their own joke/advice column.

Seagurl51
December 22nd, 2006, 11:33 AM
I have been sharing this list with people and preface #6 with I totally don't believe this one, but ...

I LOVE birthdays, mine and everyone else's. I love making a big deal out of them. It's your day you should get to celebrate, and everyone should worship you for that day! I actually tend to celebrate the whole month of September though ...

I start celebrating at my half birthday and then don't really stop until about a week after my real birthday. :groovy: