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The Fortress
January 23rd, 2007, 01:15 PM
Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."
Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,
successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners
of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a
Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone
at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's
hubcaps.

5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic
door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house
because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he
pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days.

He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog
food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation
caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of
$500,000. In my opinion this is so outrageous that it should have
been 2nd Place!

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by
his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its
owner's fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might
have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had
climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly
with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the
owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.
This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place: This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new
32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU
football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
back to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the
freeway, crashed and over turned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for
not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do
this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit,
just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Seagurl51
January 23rd, 2007, 01:20 PM
Wow..........:rolleyes:

aquageek
January 23rd, 2007, 01:29 PM
All of these could have been avoided with a waiver.

The Fortress
January 23rd, 2007, 01:33 PM
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit,just in case there were any other complete morons around.

I guess they're changing the manual instead of getting waivers.

The morons weren't the lawyers. They were the originals "morons" on the jury.

USMSarah
January 23rd, 2007, 01:41 PM
This is UNREAL!

The "victims" should be ashamed of themselves! And WTH is going on with these juries? I honestly can't believe the one about the furniture store and her own kid was the one that tripped her!

SwimStud
January 23rd, 2007, 01:41 PM
Although still bloody funny I heard they were all fabricated...I believed them though the first time around. http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp had something saying they were untrue

The Beagle one cracks me up, as a Beagle owner...it takes major aggravation or fear for them to even seriously growl at a human...

The Fortress
January 23rd, 2007, 02:01 PM
Although still bloody funny I heard they were all fabricated...I believed them though the first time around. http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp had something saying they were untrue

The Beagle one cracks me up, as a Beagle owner...it takes major aggravation or fear for them to even seriously growl at a human...

Nope, there appear to be real Stella Awards. I think there is a new list each year. http://www.stellaawards.com/sample.html

Caped Crusader
January 23rd, 2007, 02:31 PM
The morons weren't the lawyers. They were the originals "morons" on the jury.

The other "morons" are the greedy plaintiffs who are the ones taking advantage of a tort system run amuck.

poolraat
January 23rd, 2007, 02:35 PM
The other "morons" are the greedy plaintiffs who are the ones taking advantage of a tort system run amuck.

But what about the lawyers that represent these morons?
Have they no shame?

SwimStud
January 23rd, 2007, 02:39 PM
I still say these are bogus...and at best not this years...we need a paratrooper to research the truth here!

nother links says they're fake too http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/lawsuits.html

CreamPuff
January 23rd, 2007, 02:41 PM
I sent this to my husband at work.

Our responses were:

I laughed.
He wept.
We both pay.

Muppet
January 23rd, 2007, 02:51 PM
I need to come up with a good frivolous lawsuit. :coffee:
Fortress, will you represent me?
I promise to give you a good cut. :banana:

Caped Crusader
January 23rd, 2007, 03:11 PM
But what about the lawyers that represent these morons? Have they no shame?

It would not be the height of anyone's legal career to represent one of those morons.

However, on occasion, a plaintiff's lawyer can do good. I am generally not a plaintiff's lawyer, but recently I represented a doctor (family member of someone in my firm). He ws entering a new building that had not been built or designed to code. As a result of these issues, he was injured and rendered quadripeligic. We sued the engineers and contractors and settled out of court. In that case, it wasn't the lawyers that were the morons. Not the doctor either.

Maybe we can have some bogus or real swimming stellas?

m2tall2
January 23rd, 2007, 03:13 PM
While these are very humorous this is the 2nd year in a row I heard the same stories, so I tend to not believe they are factual as well.

The Fortress
January 23rd, 2007, 03:47 PM
Maybe we can have some bogus or real swimming stellas?

Maybe us masters swimmers could sue Michael Phelps' mom. She was the one, after all, that let him purchase that DUI-SUV. If not for that poor judgment, Phelps wouldn't have run through the stop sign intoxicated in a big ole car. Our children would never know he had touched a drink. Now, despite his public apologies, they all know he drinks. Ergo, he is a bad role model. Our children are devastated because their hero is tainted, and they are probably subconsciously worrying themselves to death that he will do it again before the next Olympics. We parents are damaged because our children think it's OK to drink and drive and our boys are quitting/failing to start swimming. GoodSmith could be the named plaintiff. Tort: Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress.

Seagurl51
January 23rd, 2007, 04:03 PM
Maybe us masters swimmers could sue Michael Phelps' mom. She was the one, after all, that let him purchase that DUI-SUV. If not for that poor judgment, Phelps wouldn't have run through the stop sign intoxicated in a big ole car. Our children would never know he had touched a drink. Now, despite his public apologies, they all know he drinks. Ergo, he is a bad role model. Our children are devastated because their hero is tainted, and they are probably subconsciously worrying themselves to death that he will do it again before the next Olympics. We parents are damaged because our children think it's OK to drinkand drive and our boys are quitting/failing to start swimming. GoodSmith could be the named plaintiff. Tort: Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress.


The biggest can of worms I have ever seen is being opened as we speak.........


I really don't care if these stories are true or not (I'd prefer they not be, call me idealistic, I'd like to think people are better than that), but either way they are highly entertaining!! (Mostly because I don't have to pay damages ;))

aquageek
January 23rd, 2007, 04:24 PM
The biggest can of worms I have ever seen is being opened as we speak.........


We discussed this subject about a year ago, or whenever it happened.

Seagurl51
January 23rd, 2007, 04:29 PM
We discussed this subject about a year ago, or whenever it happened.


Indeed...I remember it very well.

The Fortress
January 23rd, 2007, 04:34 PM
We discussed this subject about a year ago, or whenever it happened.

So you decided to sue his mom, then?

Muppet:

So you want to get rich quick? :coffee: Here's a scheme. Buy a nose clip from speedo or keifer. Put it on. Swim. Forget to breathe through your mouth. Pass out in the water. Then sue speedo or keifer because they forgot to say in the instructions that you were supposed to breathe through your mouth with the clip on. As a result of their ridiculous oversight, you lost the 500 free race at practice and couldn't collect on you "loser buys dinner" "animal" bet, suffering monetary damages and abject humiliation from teammate and science-geek-girlfriend ribbing.

Muppet
January 24th, 2007, 12:06 AM
So you decided to sue his mom, then?

Muppet:

So you want to get rich quick? :coffee: Here's a scheme. Buy a nose clip from speedo or keifer. Put it on. Swim. Forget to breathe through your mouth. Pass out in the water. Then sue speedo or keifer because they forgot to say in the instructions that you were supposed to breathe through your mouth with the clip on. As a result of their ridiculous oversight, you lost the 500 free race at practice and couldn't collect on you "loser buys dinner" "animal" bet, suffering monetary damages and abject humiliation from teammate and science-geek-girlfriend ribbing.

hehe - good one. lets just hope that there is no one from either speedo or kiefer lurking and putting out a recall notice as we speak.