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The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 05:02 PM
Anyone out there suffering from mommy guilt when you're away from the kids for swimming or work or anything else? Whoops, I feel guilty. LOL. I just realized I'm so busy typing that I might be a couple minutes late picking up my kid from swim practice.

swimr4life
April 24th, 2007, 05:08 PM
Anyone out there suffering from mommy guilt when you're away from the kids for swimming or work or anything else? Whoops, I feel guilty. LOL. I just realized I'm so busy typing that I might be a couple minutes late picking up my kid from swim practice.


YESSSSSS! I do feel bad sometimes about going swimming Saturday morning! But, so many times my daughter is still in bed when I get home!:joker: Besides, I think I'm a better mom if I take time out for a swim! It's like a natural tranquilizer for me!

aquaFeisty
April 24th, 2007, 05:25 PM
When I leave to go swim at night or on the weekend (because I can't make the team practice for whatever reason) and Meggie is crying as I leave, I have Mommy guilt.

When I watched her sleep for 3 hours at States and get completely sweat-soaked cuz it was so dang hot in there, I had Mommy guilt.

When I skipped playgroup last week to rest for States and so that there would be less chance Meg would be sick when we left her with my sister and brother-in-law on Sat, I had Mommy guilt.

However, these things are all minor to the Mommy guilt I get while typing on these forums as Meggie watches Elmo on TV! ACK!!! I'd better get off here and go do something enriching for my poor child!!!!!!

poolraat
April 24th, 2007, 07:18 PM
I don't think my wife has mommy guilt. It doesn't seem to bother her a bit to go jettin' around the country, leaving me in charge of the "rude, hormonal" ones. But I think we have a better time than her when she' s gone.
:banana: :banana: :woot: :joker: :groovy:

USMSarah
April 24th, 2007, 07:25 PM
A little bit... I work for a swimwear store once in a while on Saturdays... and I kinda feel bad about leaving him (he's only 1)... but I know that it is good for me to get away and have some "Sarah" time. It's great to see him when I get home, though!

Karen Duggan
April 24th, 2007, 07:27 PM
Mommy Guilt was invented by Sprinters! Unfortunately it spread to the more sensible middle-distance and distance groups.

I too experience Mommy Guilt, but the older they get (and the more they know why I workout) the easier it's getting. We have an awesome gym nearby with an immense, wonderful daycare for kids through age 12. My kids love it: TV, video games, art/craft area, play structures, place to eat, etc... all inside. It's great. Plus they have a 25m pool. :cool:

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 08:39 PM
Mommy Guilt was invented by Sprinters!

I was an LSD runner when I invented it. :thhbbb: But even if I was a latent Sprinter back then, someone got even with me by making my swimming daughter a breaststroker. :eek:

Ew. I hate mommy guilt. I used to have it big time. I'd wait to go to the gym until 9:00 pm at night, etc. I've mellowed out some since kid #3. Sometimes I check and ask "are they juggling knives?" No, fine, carry on. I agree with Karen, I've been more guilt-free as the kids have gotten older and I have been a mommy longer. Plus, they think competing is "coo." And sometimes it is nice to have a little Leslie time, as Sarah said.

dorothyrde
April 24th, 2007, 09:06 PM
I worked at home for 17 years, changed to home videos for my work-outs instead of going to the gym. I did this so I was around when the kids were little. Now....they wish I would go away I think. My daughter was in a mood Friday night, and while I was trying to watch Ugly Betty on-line, she wanted to talk....so Ugly Betty waited.

Now that they are older, I don't feel guilty at all. I think I set a good example of keeping in shape, something my Dad always did.

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 09:14 PM
I worked at home for 17 years, changed to home videos for my work-outs instead of going to the gym. I did this so I was around when the kids were little. Now....they wish I would go away I think. My daughter was in a mood Friday night, and while I was trying to watch Ugly Betty on-line, she wanted to talk....so Ugly Betty waited.

Now that they are older, I don't feel guilty at all. I think I set a good example of keeping in shape, something my Dad always did.

Good for you Dorothy! It'll help you keep up and hopefully even set the pace for years to come!

dorothyrde
April 24th, 2007, 09:17 PM
Yep, my Dad at 76 is in awesome shape. I always remember him doing calestenics and biking to work when I was young. Exercise does help the aging process!

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 09:20 PM
Yep, my Dad at 76 is in awesome shape. I always remember him doing calestenics and biking to work when I was young. Exercise does help the aging process!

We all age but we don't have to shrivel...I'm so thankful for finding swimming again...allows me to stay healthy without bothering my back.

Oh, I and I don't get Mommy guilt. I did have daddy guilt when I snuck off to Boston for NEM all by myself though...I missed the family.

dorothyrde
April 24th, 2007, 09:22 PM
That's not guilt, that is good that you missed them. I get Mommy worry more than guilt these days. Teenagers are hard!

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 09:30 PM
That's not guilt, that is good that you missed them. I get Mommy worry more than guilt these days. Teenagers are hard!

I sit here and think about the future and get really scared...so I go swimming and focus on my stroke instead!

dorothyrde
April 24th, 2007, 09:40 PM
Good choice! Teens can be fun, but some of their choices :dunno:

Good thing I been there done that.

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 10:22 PM
I sit here and think about the future and get really scared...so I go swimming and focus on my stroke instead!

You got it coming big time, mister. Your kids aren't even old enough to play travel soccer or go to 4:30 am swim practice or say "whatever" or ask for stuff like ipods, cars and hair straighteners. Ha. Just wait! I told my kids MANY times that I was swimming at zones those two days and would be unavailable for driving and that there would be no sleepovers at my house. On Friday, I got a barrage of mutiple conflicting requests for weekend transportation all over northern virginia. Fortunately, I didn't have too much mommy guilt over that particular weekend. I reserve that for really important stuff like taking my kindergartener out of school early this Friday and dragging her along to a USS swim meet where I can't even read to her and it's really, really boring. (We're watching distance stuff on a Friday night, after all.)

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 10:26 PM
Your kids aren't even old enough to play travel soccer...or say "whatever" or ask for stuff like ipods ...

My 9year old does, has and repeatedly does.

I mean I get scared about he future and them dealing with it...not the nuisance suff...

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 10:34 PM
I mean I get scared about he future and them dealing with it...not the nuisance suff...

Well, the future is scarey when they get boy or girl crazy. You have to expect them to lie and not be naive. Somehow I don't think you will be. It's not much fun reading about crap like robotripping, etc. All you can do is set rules, set a good example, pray that they do endurance sports which take up a boatload of time and that they want to do well in school, and reasonably monitor them. I have thought of putting one of those tracking devices in Mini-Fort's cell phone. I hate cell phones. Kids call and say I'm at x place, but you don't really know unless you call and confirm with x's mom. Fortunately, fingers crossed, my kids seem really anti-drug and anti-smoking because of their sports addictions and have good peer groups. I just hope it stays that way. The friends are key. They exert more influence over teenagers than parents, I fear.

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 10:38 PM
Well, the future is scarey when they get boy or girl crazy. You have to expect them to lie and not be naive. Somehow I don't think you will be. It's not much fun reading about crap like robotripping, etc. All you can do is set rules, set a good example, pray that they do endurance sports which take up a boatload of time and that they want to do well in school, and reasonably monitor them. I have thought of putting one of those tracking devices in Mini-Fort's cell phone. I hate cell phones. Kids call and say I'm at x place, but you don't really know unless you call and confirm with x's mom. Fortunately, fingers crossed, my kids seem really anti-drug and anti-smoking because of their sports addictions and have good peer groups. I just hope it stays that way. The friends are key. They exert more influence over teenagers than parents, I fear.

Sitting as a family at dinner time and talking has a positive effect on reducing/preventing drug use by kids.

Seagurl51
April 24th, 2007, 10:49 PM
The support for having children is astounding. ;)

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 10:50 PM
Sitting as a family at dinner time and talking has a positive effect on reducing/preventing drug use by kids.

We do that as much as possible despite activity strain and despite my dislike of cooking nowadays. Although I do cook fresh nutritious food and pack all school lunches so as to avoid any mommy guilt over that issue. LOL.

Dinner topics are always fun. My son is a big time instigator. I hear things like "What do you think about gun control or euthanasia or iraq or the teenage driving age?" Or, "Is it OK if I'm an atheist?" or "Is suicide actually legal?" or "Did you vote? Prove it. Where's your sticker?" or "Did you ever do drugs?" or "I hate math. Do I have to take AP calculus my senior year when math is utterly useless to my life?" Yeah, dinner's real fun. :rofl:

Kyra: You're way too young. I'm sure it seems really distasteful and bizarre to you right now.

Seagurl51
April 24th, 2007, 10:55 PM
Dinner topics are always fun. My son is a big time instigator. I hear things like "What do you think about gun control or euthanasia or iraq or the teenage driving age?" Or, "Is it OK if I'm an atheist?" or "Is suicide actually legal?" or "Did you vote? Prove it. Where's your sticker?" or "Did you ever do drugs?" or "I hate math. Do I have to take AP calculus my senior year when math is utterly useless to my life?" Yeah, dinner's real fun. :rofl:



OOOOOOO!!!!!!! We just learned about this in my developmental psych class today!!!!!!!!!!!! (I actually paid attention in my developmental psych class today!!) Apparently it's actually really good for their development because it helps them figure out their own views, and learn debating skills that are used later in life. So while it's annoying to some parents, it's actually really healthy for the kids.


So that's my :2cents: cuz I obviously know sooo much about parenting. :rofl: :thhbbb:

(Feel free to ignore me or tell me to shut up anytime.)


And I don't see it as distasteful...I'm entering into that phase where I've learned to appreciate my parents and all the sh*t I put them through. So I can actually sympathise a little.

Julie Roddin
April 24th, 2007, 11:02 PM
Anyone out there suffering from mommy guilt when you're away from the kids for swimming or work or anything else? Whoops, I feel guilty. LOL. I just realized I'm so busy typing that I might be a couple minutes late picking up my kid from swim practice.

No but I have puppy guilt. I hate days when I come home from work, take Tucker for a short walk and then leave to go to the pool. He does get my undivided attention from 6-8 am every morning when we go to the dog park so I think he's ok.

Seagurl51
April 24th, 2007, 11:05 PM
No but I have puppy guilt. I hate days when I come home from work, take Tucker for a short walk and then leave to go to the pool. He does get my undivided attention from 6-8 am every morning when we go to the dog park so I think he's ok.

ME TOO!!!!!!! Puppy guilt I can totally relate too! I hate leaving my dog to come to school. Everytime I go home for breaks and what not and then leave, my dog sulks around the house for a few days after. :(

poolraat
April 24th, 2007, 11:07 PM
l...I'm entering into that phase where I've learned to appreciate my parents and all the sh*t I put them through. So I can actually sympathise a little.


Good for you, Kyra. I think one of my happiest and proudest moments as a parent was when my oldest daughter (who will be 30 this summer) thanked me for being a strict and demanding parent when she was in HS. She now talks about how those who were allowed to do as they pleased then are such losers now.

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 11:10 PM
No but I have puppy guilt. I hate days when I come home from work, take Tucker for a short walk and then leave to go to the pool. He does get my undivided attention from 6-8 am every morning when we go to the dog park so I think he's ok.

Yes, puppy guilt = mommy guilt. Same type of thing, except you get licked and I get hugged (sometimes).

Kyra:

That's so funny! I'm happy to talk with my kids about anything. And I'm an instigator too. I remember when my son was in 6th grade, I asked at dinner "So, what did you learn in sex ed today?" Unfortunately (or not), my son, as the son of two lawyers, shows all the signs of being one himself. Loves to debate. Yeah, and I recently read his persuasive essay on why the teenage driving age should not be raised to 17. I had to disagree with him, living in the traffic disaster zone I live in.

Poolraat:

Allowing kids to do as they please and not setting rules is a recipe for disaster IMHO.

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 11:17 PM
living in the traffic disaster zone I live in.



UNDERstatement...my god!

Muppet
April 24th, 2007, 11:18 PM
Do I have to take AP calculus my senior year when math is utterly useless to my life?"

fort - answer an emphatic YES. A 4 or a 5 will get Fortson full college credit. That is one less core class he'll have to take (and can make room for something fun or extra major-related). Or one less class mom & dad fort have to pay for.
I almost didn't make it out in 4.5 years - barely had enough credits under my belt because of a major transfer. Without those 3 AP classes, I'd've been there for a full 5th year and graduated with my little sister.

Seagurl51
April 24th, 2007, 11:20 PM
Kyra:

That's so funny! I'm happy to talk with my kids about anything. And I'm an instigator too. I remember when my son was in 6th grade, I asked at dinner "So, what did you learn in sex ed today?"

OH THE TALK!

I instigated that one and I've never quite forgiven myself for it. My mom is a PA and she think's/thought it was fun to pull out pictures. Talk about scarring!






And speaking of giving no rules..it actually is harmful to kids. They think they control everything and when get into school/work force and have to do something they don't like it can be really damaging for them and they end up having disiplinary problems. (I better rock my test now.......)

The Fortress
April 24th, 2007, 11:24 PM
fort - answer an emphatic YES. A 4 or a 5 will get Fortson full college credit. That is one less core class he'll have to take (and can make room for something fun or extra major-related). Or one less class mom & dad fort have to pay for.
I almost didn't make it out in 4.5 years - barely had enough credits under my belt because of a major transfer. Without those 3 AP classes, I'd've been there for a full 5th year and graduated with my little sister.

Oh great. I'll try it Muppet, but Fortson hates Math even though he easily gets As. (His teacher put the heavy pressure on to join the math team. I told him it was fine to decline.) He just went through the TJ application process somewhat against his will and because he likes their cross country coach (I'm assuming as a local and a math geek you know TJ.) There was an essay question on the exam about what significance math has in his daily life. He professes to have written an essay that went something like this: "None whatsoever. If people were smart, they'd read more books." Now, Mini-Fort the swimmer loves math and science. So there may be hope for her. Besides, nowadays, how many AP classes can one take? I don't think 5-6 is a good answer anymore if you want your kid to sleep.

SwimStud:

You were in Fairfax. That's nothing. Just venture down to the Tysons area or try commuting to and from DC during rush hour. Now, that's traffic.

Kyra:

Oh we had "the talk" before that class. I was just razzing him. Parents even had to sign a form saying they'd discussed the sex ed material with their kid and helped prepare them for their test the next day. LOL.

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 11:31 PM
My daughter got a letter sent home saying that they would begin teaching the sex stuff. The letter had a brief outline of what the boys and the girls would be learning separately.

My daughter wanted to read the letter too so we let her...
A few moments in she is going "Ew, ew, ew, ew!"

So we ask her what is wrong and she says:

"The boys are going to learn about hair in the PUBLIC area!"

I fell to my knees laughing....

ensignada
April 24th, 2007, 11:42 PM
That so cute and so funny. Is sex ed still 5th grade?

SwimStud
April 24th, 2007, 11:43 PM
I'm not sure...
..at my school we moved this class to an "out of sight" area at lunchtime recess LMAO

ensignada
April 24th, 2007, 11:50 PM
God, I remember the weirdness of the boys going into one classroom (with a male teacher) and us going into another. Most of us knew what was going on with our bodies, but we were freaked that the boys were going to learn about it too. I think we learned about conception but not how it actually occurs. I'll bet that's changed now....

swimr4life
April 25th, 2007, 12:36 AM
fort - answer an emphatic YES. A 4 or a 5 will get Fortson full college credit. That is one less core class he'll have to take (and can make room for something fun or extra major-related). Or one less class mom & dad fort have to pay for.
I almost didn't make it out in 4.5 years - barely had enough credits under my belt because of a major transfer. Without those 3 AP classes, I'd've been there for a full 5th year and graduated with my little sister.

YESSSS! AP classes are great. My daughter Kelly got full college credit for English, Calculus and US History going into college her freshman year!

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 07:56 AM
I think we learned about conception but not how it actually occurs. I'll bet that's changed now....

Well medical science can help you now but I think it still happens the same way!
:rofl:

The traditional method is more fun anyhow! ;)

CreamPuff
April 25th, 2007, 07:59 AM
No. But I *sometimes* feel a bit guilty for not having kids.
But, then that feeling goes away very, very quickly.
:banana:

swimshark
April 25th, 2007, 08:05 AM
We all age but we don't have to shrivel...

Rich, I love that quote. And it's so true. As the daughter of a 67 year old triathlete, I see it all the time.

Mommy guilt - yup. Especially during meets. That's one reason I only did 1 day at Zones. I do Sat morning practice but now it's 5-7am so I'm home before my 2 year old wakes up. Some times I miss that Sat morning mommy time (practice used to be 7-9) and other times I feel guilty, But then I remember that I do 5 mornings by myself with my son so 1 morning alone is not too bad.

Fort, my husband works in the toilet bowl building in Tysons. He knows the traffic there all too well. We're just lucky he doesn't have to drive farther. Although, with a promotion, we know one day he will. :(

Alison

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 08:26 AM
No. But I *sometimes* feel a bit guilty for not having kids.
But, then that feeling goes away very, very quickly.
:banana:

As long as it's only you that makes you feel guilt it's OK....life is about choices and some of them are mutually exclusive. Don't let anyone else make you feel guilty for having or not having kids...

I wasn't sure if wanted kids but now can't imagine life without them...

ensignada
April 25th, 2007, 09:51 AM
No. But I *sometimes* feel a bit guilty for not having kids.
But, then that feeling goes away very, very quickly.
:banana:

Having kids is one of those personal, personal decisions. There is no right or wrong, just what's best for you. I know women for whom having kids is an important part of who they are and who they imagine themselves to be, women who never want children, and women who enjoy being mothers but don't define themselves by that role alone.

swimr4life
April 25th, 2007, 10:12 AM
No. But I *sometimes* feel a bit guilty for not having kids.
But, then that feeling goes away very, very quickly.
:banana:

Hi Kristina! Please don't feel that way! It is definitely a choice that each woman has to make regardless of what others may say. It is a lifetime committment that you shouldn't go into unless you choose to! ;)

Slowswim
April 25th, 2007, 10:32 AM
No Mommy (Daddy) guilt. I workout either at 5-7am when my daughter and wife are asleep or over lunch at work. My wife is a full-time Mom so I hafta work; but, my baby girl has the best daycare provider.
:applaud:

On weekends, any chance I get to steal my daughter for myself whether for a run or bike ride followed by lunch out is a dream date for me and Mommy get down-time for herself. I love it best when its all three of us.:groovy:

We used to use other people kids acting up as birth control, but after 19 years of marriage we decided it was time for one (and only one) of our own. Very glad we waited! We've altered our life style a little but kids are portable if you plan ahead.
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swimr4life
April 25th, 2007, 10:35 AM
Hi Bill!
Did you get my email about Catalyst? Just checking.
Beth

The Fortress
April 25th, 2007, 10:42 AM
YESSSS! AP classes are great. My daughter Kelly got full college credit for English, Calculus and US History going into college her freshman year!

Yay. :applaud:

This should lessen any mommy guilt!

I'm not feeling any guilt whatsoever at the moment. I'm sure that'll change at some point later today. LOL.

Kristina:

I heartily agree with what others said about the kid thing. Kids are not for everyone. They change your life forever, and only you can decide how you want to live your life. So you go, girl.

knelson
April 25th, 2007, 10:48 AM
No. But I *sometimes* feel a bit guilty for not having kids.
But, then that feeling goes away very, very quickly.
:banana:

Hear, hear. Other people seem to be having plenty of children. I'm not worried about the human race going extinct anytime soon!

Slowswim
April 25th, 2007, 10:51 AM
Hi Bill!
Did you get my email about Catalyst? Just checking.
Beth


Yes thank you again!!!!:bow:

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 11:15 AM
Everyone can get off the floor now, I am posting on this new NSR area. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

My wife has a very successful career and works for a company that values work/life balance. She is able to manage her travel and resources and still be a great mother and wife. It's all quite admirable.

But, this whole mommy guilt thing has plauged her and us I guess for a while.

But, the odd thing about it all is that it is the stay-at-home mothers (or, as I call them, the Dr. Laura robots) who give her little sucker punches and make comments. Even close friends will occasionally make some comment about professional working women. It's really annoying and frustrating that there is a perception (in suburbia anyway) that there might be a distinction between being a good mother and having a rewarding career.

I think all of you who have mommy guilt should not think one more second about it, I have your back on this topic.

Oh, and driving your Hummer sized double baby stroller at the mall 5 days a week is not considered work. Neither is having to get to Talbots at 9 am sharp for the sale.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 11:23 AM
Everyone can get off the floor now, I am posting on this new NSR area. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

My wife has a very successful career and works for a company that values work/life balance. She is able to manage her travel and resources and still be a great mother and wife. It's all quite admirable.

But, this whole mommy guilt thing has plauged her and us I guess for a while.

But, the odd thing about it all is that it is the stay-at-home mothers (or, as I call them, the Dr. Laura robots) who give her little sucker punches and make comments. Even close friends will occasionally make some comment about professional working women. It's really annoying and frustrating that there is a perception (in suburbia anyway) that there might be a distinction between being a good mother and having a rewarding career.

I think all of you who have mommy guilt should not think one more second about it, I have your back on this topic.


I know/see many SAHM that do nothing. They have maids. They have Nanny's. They go shopping and workout without their kids and leave them to the help.
Then there are those SAHM who just complain about "how hard it is to raise kids" to my working-mother wife, and her peers. My wife has little sympathy. She has 3 kids, I have 2 :)

Karen Duggan
April 25th, 2007, 11:33 AM
After having kids, I kinda came to the conclusion that I don't really care what people say or think, especially about my life's choices. I made the choices and I'll do my best to make the most of them.

Pat and I wanted to raise our children so that they/we wouldn't be too dependent on the daycare system. I teach during the school year, full time, and Pat (cop) works 40 hours every weekend. It works for us in that I'm home by 3:00, so we have afternoons and weekends. Summer is great, because we all have 4 full days together. And on the Fridays that we both work, Grandma watches them for a few hours.

All that being said, I would not work, if I didn't have to. We made a moving choice 4 years ago. We could stay where we were and I could stay home (not a great neighborhood, mediocre schools, 1000 sq. ft house!), or we could move to the better neighborhood, great schools, much bigger house.

What made me think of all this is the looks Pat gets when he's home with the kids during the week! At the park, he feels like the women staring at him are thinking, "Loser. Don't you work?" However, being a cop, it doesn't bother him. He's very secure with himself. He's such a great dad, and I'm glad our children get to grow up with him, too. (My dad was the breadwinner, so I didn't see him as much).

Anyway, sorry for the babble. 'Geek I've got YOUR back. :thhbbb:

The Fortress
April 25th, 2007, 11:37 AM
Everyone can get off the floor now, I am posting on this new NSR area. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

My wife has a very successful career and works for a company that values work/life balance. She is able to manage her travel and resources and still be a great mother and wife. It's all quite admirable.

But, this whole mommy guilt thing has plauged her and us I guess for a while.

But, the odd thing about it all is that it is the stay-at-home mothers (or, as I call them, the Dr. Laura robots) who give her little sucker punches and make comments. Even close friends will occasionally make some comment about professional working women. It's really annoying and frustrating that there is a perception (in suburbia anyway) that there might be a distinction between being a good mother and having a rewarding career.

I think all of you who have mommy guilt should not think one more second about it, I have your back on this topic.

I hear ya on this one, although we must be very clear that most SAHMs are not Dr. Laura robots. My mommy guilt was much worse when I worked at a large law firm even though I fought tooth and nail to work part-time and control my hours. I got some of those snide barbs from the pre-school moms. And I have seen it in live action since, toward me and others. Right now, the last 6 years, I'm in a position where I'm home when my kids are home after 3:00, and that works for me. But it's no fun being the target of self-righteousness. Personally, I think being a working mom is one of the hardest balancing acts ever. It can be very stressful. For all those who do it, it is admirable. And, of course, many moms have no choice because their family needs the income.

It would really be ideal if people just accepted other people's choices without being judgmental. But some insecure people obviously feel the need to justify or defend their own choices and do so through little "comments." Very tedious, destructive and unnecessary. I wish people could be more supportive. Mommy guilt is bad enough without having to deal with someone else needling you and making it worse. The best thing is to try to ignore what other people say on this topic as much as you can. Good luck to Mrs. Geek. It sounds like you will be there to buck her up if and when she gets needled.

Geek: There are no seven jeans at Talbots! :thhbbb:

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 11:41 AM
I'm not playing the word twist game

swimr4life
April 25th, 2007, 11:48 AM
Geek! Welcome to the party!:lolup:

I have altered between part-time and stay at home mom throughout my children's lives. I can honestly say that I got more snide remarks from working moms when I was a SAHM than I did from the SAHM when I was working! "I could never stay at home. I would be too bored. I have to do something more rewarding." ....GRRRRR! Honestly...one woman said that to me. I had two under 4 at the time and I wanted to kill her.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 11:52 AM
Geek! Welcome to the party!:lolup:

I have altered between part-time and stay at home mom throughout my children's lives. I can honestly say that I got more snide remarks from working moms when I was a SAHM than I did from the SAHM when I was working! "I could never stay at home. I would be too bored. I have to do something more rewarding." ....GRRRRR! Honestly...one woman said that to me. I had two under 4 at the time and I wanted to kill her.

We'd have loved to have mum at home FT unfortunately it just isn't doable these days...and I don't have a huge house, and 3 new cars either. Takes 2 of us to just pay the mortgage and live a little. Hence why I do the tiling!

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 11:52 AM
I just want to add that I do not think all SAHM are lazy freeloaders...but some are...and then have the balls to cry about it--that's where it gets offensive to my wife and her friends.

This is a bit far. If a family has decided that one is staying home it's unfair to call someone a freeloader. Even if you have a nanny and housecleaner (as we do) I don't believe as a general rule that a spouse is a freeloader.

Karen Duggan
April 25th, 2007, 11:59 AM
Someone is a freeloader if they stay home raising their kids?!? I'm not going there...

I WISH I had a housekeeper. Actually, if I could afford outside help, I'd hire a cook!

I don't mind cooking, I'm just so tired at the end of the day!

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 12:00 PM
I'm not playing the word twist game

The Fortress
April 25th, 2007, 12:01 PM
Geek! Welcome to the party!:lolup:

I have altered between part-time and stay at home mom throughout my children's lives. I can honestly say that I got more snide remarks from working moms when I was a SAHM than I did from the SAHM when I was working! "I could never stay at home. I would be too bored. I have to do something more rewarding." ....GRRRRR! Honestly...one woman said that to me. I had two under 4 at the time and I wanted to kill her.

Yep, it definitely works both ways. If you're at home, some working moms think you have Mush Brain because diaper changing and food prep is a main activity. Or they imply you're lazy. How is that exactly? I wish everyone would live and let live. We are all trying to do what is best for ourselves personally and our family. I guess if you can't ignore it, a snappy comeback to the mean one is the best defense.

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 12:05 PM
I completely disagree with this notion that a stay at home parent can be a freeloader. I don't know what being old country has to do with it. My opinion is it's way out of line to make judgements on any other family's career/family decisions.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 12:12 PM
My opinion is it's way out of line to make judgements

ROFLCOPTERS on ROFLCAKES

Good one.

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 12:19 PM
ROFLCOPTERS on ROFLCAKES

Good one.

I tried to make a point about mommy guilt. You have misquoted me and have now taken this to where it shouldn't go by insulting me.

Up until this bizarre post I was enjoying the discussion by both stay at home and working mothers, getting a good perspective. I'll continue to watch from a distance.

I'll know better than to mix it up with someone who calls himself a stud from now on.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 12:28 PM
I tried to make a point about mommy guilt. You have misquoted me and have now taken this to where it shouldn't go by insulting me.

Up until this bizarre post I was enjoying the discussion by both stay at home and working mothers, getting a good perspective. I'll continue to watch from a distance.
:wave:..........:wave:

Got Boost
April 25th, 2007, 12:56 PM
Luckily my swimming is scheduled when either everyone is asleep or not home. I do feel guilty when I am on the golf course. Part of me is saying there goes 4 good hours to spend with my son who is going to think that I am cool for only so long. My wife, who works at her families dental clinic 2 days a week is wracked with mommy guilt, some days it is so bad she is near inconsolable. This has given me some good ideas to talk to her about.
Got Boost

Karen Duggan
April 25th, 2007, 01:08 PM
Now boys. Let's not go there. Let's go to the bike racks after school :thhbbb:

I think there was a misunderstanding, at least on my part! I wasn't reacting to a person, I was just looking at the word freeloading, and having a hard time relating it to those who stay home (unless of course they are a lazy POS and are not raising their children!).

I love you both, please come back. The detention forum, that takes place in the Penthouse (without nudies Ivor!) just won't be the same without you both.

Now, lets: :drink: and :) and :smooch: and :banana: and :cool: and :blah:
Ah, life in the USMS penthouse is goooood!

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 01:16 PM
Now boys. Let's not go there. Let's go to the bike racks after school :thhbbb:

I think there was a misunderstanding, at least on my part! I wasn't reacting to a person, I was just looking at the word freeloading, and having a hard time relating it to those who stay home (unless of course they are a lazy POS and are not raising their children!).

I love you both, please come back. The detention forum, that takes place in the Penthouse (without nudies Ivor!) just won't be the same without you both.

Now, lets: :drink: and :) and :smooch: and :banana: and :cool: and :blah:
Ah, life in the USMS penthouse is goooood!

I'm here I'm just not eating any of the bar snacks.. ;)

dorothyrde
April 25th, 2007, 01:37 PM
Everyone can get off the floor now, I am posting on this new NSR area. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

My wife has a very successful career and works for a company that values work/life balance. She is able to manage her travel and resources and still be a great mother and wife. It's all quite admirable.

But, this whole mommy guilt thing has plauged her and us I guess for a while.

But, the odd thing about it all is that it is the stay-at-home mothers (or, as I call them, the Dr. Laura robots) who give her little sucker punches and make comments. Even close friends will occasionally make some comment about professional working women. It's really annoying and frustrating that there is a perception (in suburbia anyway) that there might be a distinction between being a good mother and having a rewarding career.

I think all of you who have mommy guilt should not think one more second about it, I have your back on this topic.

Oh, and driving your Hummer sized double baby stroller at the mall 5 days a week is not considered work. Neither is having to get to Talbots at 9 am sharp for the sale.

This is so interesting to me because I have seen both sides. When my 19 year old was under 1 year, I decided to quit a good paying job to stay home full time. The women I worked with absolutely could not understand my decision, saying I should work and put him in daycare, I could "have it all". I decided it was not what I wanted,was a little worried at the unknown. A year into it, I did start working half time from home, and continued that for 17 years. During those 17 years, I saw the other side, the women who could not understand why someone would leave their child in daycare to work full time. I have always thought, it is their business, and their life. It is too bad women cannot see that each person's situation as their own choice.

When I went back to full time 3 years ago, my then 6th grade daughter was a bit bitter. Then she got involved in after school activities and realized I was always home by the time she got done and so it was not too different. My schedule is flexible enough to handle her morning swim practice in the summer schedule(that is the toughest part of full time). We live out of town, so she cannot bike or take a bus. Her brother helps out with that as well.

So, I can understand why a woman wants to work full time, and why a woman wants to stay home, and really it should be what each individual can handle.

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 01:45 PM
So, I can understand why a woman wants to work full time, and why a woman wants to stay home, and really it should be what each individual can handle.

Yes, this is my point exactly, to each his/her own. Doesn't make one better or worse, or a freeloader.

BTW - that is a really nice picture of you.

dorothyrde
April 25th, 2007, 01:46 PM
I do want to add, that I seemed to be much more on the go when being a SAHM Mom. I did lots of volunteer work when the kids were in school, and yes, I did have more free time to work-out which was wonderful. In fact, the hardest adjustment to going back full-time was when to fit work-outs in. I have a sit down job, so the ole rear end tends to get larger easier! Oh and my house was a whole lot cleaner than, no cook or maid here, ever.

Now I don't volunteer in the classroom, although I still help out outside the classroom, drama plays, marching band, coaching rec softball, and of course all the things swim team entails. So it is a juggle.

I am glad I was home when they were small, and it was hard financially. It was also smart to go back when I did, prior to the oldest heading to college(tuition is scary!).

Slowswim
April 25th, 2007, 01:56 PM
Women I've seen discuss this before (even once on Oprah--my wife taped it) seem to have very strong positions on this and venom for those who disagree.

I think SAHM and working moms both know they are missing something (personally and/or professionally) in their lives and have made a decision on how to deal with it. Its the mommy guilt that causes the problems.

We are lucky that by waiting, my wife and I are in a financial position to allow her to stay home: no nanny, I drive a 98 Caravan, she drives a 01 Taurus, we have a small house. So we've made some cutbacks, but they're worth it.

I hope all you young swimmer are listening to the wisdom for the ladies that have gone ahead of you so you can make this very important decision wisely because it effects y'all more then us guys.

Seagurl51
April 25th, 2007, 01:59 PM
I hope all you young swimmer are listening to the wisdom for the ladies that have gone ahead of you so you can make this very important decision wisely because it effects y'all more then us guys.

Yup!





And I second the statement about tuition being scary....I hate it!!! I'd be loaded if it wasn't for my fees! I'd retire next year instead of graduate. hahaha.

aquageek
April 25th, 2007, 02:15 PM
We are lucky that by waiting, my wife and I are in a financial position to allow her to stay home: no nanny, I drive a 98 Caravan, she drives a 01 Taurus, we have a small house. So we've made some cutbacks, but they're worth it.

Sorry, this cannot go unchallenged. What about staying at home makes you lucky or what you do more "worth it" versus people who choose to work outside the home?

It is simply an option you have worked for and/or chosen. There is nothing inherently lucky or more worthwhile about it. Nor is there anything more lucky or worthwhile about those of us with two incomes. It's just a choice.

aquaFeisty
April 25th, 2007, 02:21 PM
I am a stay at home mom, currently on a 2 year leave from my old company. My leave is up in September and it is unlikely that I will go back to that job. However, in addition to the mommy guilt that I struggle with (especially when I drop my daughter off at the fitness center daycare 2x/week so I can swim) I suffer from "I'm not bringing much income into the house guilt." I work part-time at the fitness which brings in money and covers my membership and use of the daycare for my daughter, but it is still nothing compared to what I made working for the evil oil empire. However, if I worked at my old job, I would hardly EVER see my daughter! I left the house at 5:30 and often didn't get home until 6. At least 1 month a year, I worked straight shift from 4-4 or 5-5, 7 days a week. So I think about that and feel I've made the right decision to stay home. But then I think about college, and that we should be saving more money for that, and oh my what do we do if one of our cars breaks down and we need a new one (we've got a '97 and an '00 Hondas, Bill) etc etc etc. I realize that everyone deals with these fears, whether both parents are working or not.

So the point to my completely rambling post is that there are tough decisions to make on both sides. No matter what you do, there is probably going to be some guilt, no matter how many times you tell yourself that the guilt is not warranted. Anyone that disses or gives any crap to a mom (or dad for that matter) for working full-time, staying home full-time, part-time work or whatever really just isn't worth listening to.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 02:31 PM
I am a stay at home mom, currently on a 2 year leave from my old company. My leave is up in September and it is unlikely that I will go back to that job. However, in addition to the mommy guilt that I struggle with (especially when I drop my daughter off at the fitness center daycare 2x/week so I can swim) I suffer from "I'm not bringing much income into the house guilt." I work part-time at the fitness which brings in money and covers my membership and use of the daycare for my daughter, but it is still nothing compared to what I made working for the evil oil empire. However, if I worked at my old job, I would hardly EVER see my daughter! I left the house at 5:30 and often didn't get home until 6. At least 1 month a year, I worked straight shift from 4-4 or 5-5, 7 days a week. So I think about that and feel I've made the right decision to stay home. But then I think about college, and that we should be saving more money for that, and oh my what do we do if one of our cars breaks down and we need a new one (we've got a '97 and an '00 Hondas, Bill) etc etc etc. I realize that everyone deals with these fears, whether both parents are working or not.

So the point to my completely rambling post is that there are tough decisions to make on both sides. No matter what you do, there is probably going to be some guilt, no matter how many times you tell yourself that the guilt is not warranted. Anyone that disses or gives any crap to a mom (or dad for that matter) for working full-time, staying home full-time, part-time work or whatever really just isn't worth listening to.

There's that domestic goddess again ;)

Slowswim
April 25th, 2007, 02:34 PM
Sorry, this cannot go unchallenged. What about staying at home makes you lucky or what you do more "worth it" versus people who choose to work outside the home?

Maturity and Finances

It is simply an option you have worked for and/or chosen. There is nothing inherently lucky or more worthwhile about it. Nor is there anything more lucky or worthwhile about those of us with two incomes. It's just a choice.

The ability to choose..."Luck" = opportunity + preparation.

SwimStud
April 25th, 2007, 02:37 PM
The ability to choose..."Luck" = opportunity + preparation.

I get you Bill. You're just grateful for being in a position of choice. I fully understand that.

swimshark
April 25th, 2007, 02:48 PM
Ah, freeloading, one of the hardest mommy guilts I have. I stay at home with our 2 year old son. We get by nicely on 1 paycheck, 1 mortgaged house (in DC area so very expensive), 2 paid for cars (bought used) and extras. But, my husband earns 99.9% of the money - the other .1% comes from my pre-mommy successful graphic design company that makes little now that I have a little one. Out of all that my husband earns, I spend about 85% of it. That is not easy for me to deal with some days. Yes, I spend it on food for all 3 of us, I spend it on our son but some times it's just for me. I am lucky that I have a husband that doesn't care that I spend most of his hard-earned money. But there are days when it bothers me. Justifying spending $60 to swim 5 events at zones wasn't going to happen. I couldn't do it (can't figure out why a meet was so expensive but that's another topic). I went to 2 events for the money, the time away from our son and lack of pool time leading up to it. Yes, mommy "freeloading" guilt kept me from events at Zones.

Carrie, I can relate to you!

Alison

aquaFeisty
April 25th, 2007, 02:55 PM
Alison,

I was stressed over the cost of my events at IL States, too! Too bad you are over on the east coast!! We could definitely hang out and chat (plus I think our kids are pretty much the same age... dang, we could even have a playdate! :D)

Carrie

swimshark
April 25th, 2007, 03:00 PM
Alison,

I was stressed over the cost of my events at IL States, too! Too bad you are over on the east coast!! We could definitely hang out and chat (plus I think our kids are pretty much the same age... dang, we could even have a playdate! :D)

Carrie

Carrie, I'd say we could meet up at Nationals in 2008 and have a play date but I will be baby free. Ack, thinking about going 5 days without him now -18 months away- makes me nervous. I've only spent 1 night without him since he was born over 2 years ago.

So what were the costs of IL states? I just don't get the cost around here. I Oregon they were all reasonable and set fees.

Alison

dorothyrde
April 25th, 2007, 03:08 PM
Carrie, when I quite work many years ago, I made more than my husband, so understand the how are we going to make it feelings , and the guilt about not bringing anything in. However, we felt the benefits of having me home made it worthwhile. I got lucky and managed to obtained a job that I could do part-time at home. I felt it was the best of both, I got to stay home, and I kept my skills current and fresh. So when I re-entered the full-time world again, I did not have to try and re-learn things from long ago. And now I make more than my husband again, he loves that.:wiggle: (not sarcasm, he really does!).

So, try not to feel bad about your decision, and know you can make it work, it you work it enough. My only advise is to make sure you keep current on job skills, so one day if you decide to go back, the transition is not hard. I actually moved my part-time work in to the office a couple days a week for a year before I went full-time, so was already transitioning at that time.

aquaFeisty
April 25th, 2007, 03:16 PM
Alison, IL States had a $20 cover charge plus $4/event (I think... maybe it was $5/event.) Ouch. I plan to be at LCNats next summer too, and also sans kidlet. We can hang!

Dorothy, thanks for the advice and encouragement. My degree is in chemical engineering and my work history is all with big oil, so I need to keep my skills current too. Of course, have you ever tried reading Oil and Gas Journal? :) Seriously, within a few years, I will probably start looking for some part-time work that is actually in my field to try to not forget everything...

swimshark
April 25th, 2007, 03:20 PM
Alison, IL States had a $20 cover charge plus $4/event (I think... maybe it was $5/event.) Ouch. I plan to be at LCNats next summer too, and also sans kidlet. We can hang!


Eek, price is similar to Zones here. OMS Zone would have been $22, no extra fees. Just $22. And teams make some good money on meets.

So you are going to LC Nats in 08? I will be there, with my "home" team. Mt. Hood pool is a good one. I can't wait to meet a fellow at home mom.

Alison

dorothyrde
April 25th, 2007, 03:25 PM
Wow, I did not realize the state meet was that much. I did not go because the timing was in the middle of other things going on(mostly kid related), and the travel time it would take. Y-Nationals was fairly expensive, which shied me away from doing that one. We have had question marks about our company this year, so have been miserly about money. I could not justify spending on swim meets.

Karen Duggan
April 25th, 2007, 03:46 PM
This is fascinating! Truly. I love reading about everybody's lives. I understand why it is an NSR thread, but we are all swimmers, too, that's what led us to this site in the first place :)

My hubby makes a lot of money, for a cop, and I didn't realize how much I made after 12 years of teaching- more than I thought. We live in the SF Bay Area and it is soooo expensive. Even our old 1,000 sq. ft. house just went for almost $500,000! Totally insane. Anyway, I wanted to comment on the feeling guilty about spending money idea.

As a mom, I rarely spend any money on me. I get a haircut maybe twice a year (good thing I prefer it longer these days), I buy few clothes, and I do enter swim meets. Other than that, I certainly don't buy everything I "want." Although I did splurge on a massage ($70) before our Pac Champs! We are fortunate enough to buy what we need, and we can afford extras for the kids.

I've never felt guilty about spending money. It's OUR money. We both work really hard at our jobs (when we're not on Forums!), and are at home raising our family. Even if I didn't work, I think my husband would feel weird if I felt guilty spending money. It's just a necessity of life... just my .2 (cents, not tenths you swimmers!)

The Fortress
April 25th, 2007, 04:26 PM
I've never felt guilty about spending money. It's OUR money. We both work really hard at our jobs (when we're not on Forums!), and are at home raising our family. Even if I didn't work, I think my husband would feel weird if I felt guilty spending money. It's just a necessity of life... just my .2 (cents, not tenths you swimmers!)

I don't have any spending guilt either. But I feel like I worked hard on the job for many years and banked 401(k)s and I work hard at home.

I have more guilt about time than money. That's why I don't go to many meets. Too busy going to the kids' stuff instead. Plus, my husband travels a lot, so sometimes I'm the only one home on the hampster wheel. (This interferes with my practices and makes me grumpy too.) The work-travel stuff really did me in. (Kudos to Geek's wife for gracefully managing it.) When I switched to part time, part of the deal was virtually no travel. That definintely put me on a somewhat different planet professionally than my full time peers. But, personally, it didn't seem like too big a sacrifice to me then or now. Hopefully, I will continue to feel this way.

There's apparently a new book out on this topic warning about the dangers of being a SAHM. The review I read said, given the divorce rate, they risked financial security if they stayed out of the work force too long. Sounded really gloomy.

One other thing for young moms: There is a real compulsion to enrich children every moment of the day. But, as I've found out over time, a little benign neglect is OK. They learn to play by and entertain themselves.

ensignada
April 25th, 2007, 09:55 PM
Deleted because I can't get the words right.

The Fortress
April 25th, 2007, 10:01 PM
Competitive mothering. I stay as far away from it as possible. :coffee:

Ew. Do you mean mothers who constantly brag about their kids' accomplishments or mothers who brag about how much they're doing for their kids and their kids' school and sports teams?

USMSarah
April 25th, 2007, 10:21 PM
I don't have any spending guilt either.

I don't either... because we have no money to spend! :laugh2:


There's apparently a new book out on this topic warning about the dangers of being a SAHM. The review I read said, given the divorce rate, they risked financial security if they stayed out of the work force too long. Sounded really gloomy.


Wow... that's a lot to think about.

ensignada
April 25th, 2007, 10:37 PM
Ew. Do you mean mothers who constantly brag about their kids' accomplishments or mothers who brag about how much they're doing for their kids and their kids' school and sports teams?

Actually, both and neither, which is why I deleted the post (just not quick enough for you, Sarah!).

I observed a lot of bragging about kids (esp toddlers who all accomplish things at different times) and moms bragging about how much they do, how many activities their kids are in, how much time they volunteer. Both make me want to gag, and I've learned to walk away and not engage.

But what I was referring to is the working moms dissing the stay-at-home moms and vice versa. In my experience, most women/families have a preference on working/staying-at-home. The fortunate people are the ones who are doing what they prefer. The rest do what they need to do for their families.

And it's not limited to women working who would prefer to be at home. Women leave careers because of special needs children or ailing parents too.

It's hard enough being a parent without other people judging.

The Fortress
April 26th, 2007, 09:09 AM
I observed a lot of bragging about kids (esp toddlers who all accomplish things at different times) and moms bragging about how much they do, how many activities their kids are in, how much time they volunteer. Both make me want to gag, and I've learned to walk away and not engage.

The bragging about toddlers is such nonsense. Kids simply do stuff at different times and it usually evens out by 3rd grade. I had some mom comment to me that her kid was walking at 9 months and that that meant she would be an athlete. Apparently, Tiger Woods walked at 9 months. LOL. I see a lot of nervousness about when kids read too. Early reading is not correlated with being a genius or getting good grades later. Of course reading a lot to your kid is a good thing.

I have gotten digs about volunteering. I do volunteer, but not nearly as much as some moms. I hate administrative work. I teach art in the classroom or help with sporting events. I did have someone comment to me awhile ago, "You're not doing the auction OR the book fair this year?" I said, "No, I'm swimming this year."

aquageek
April 26th, 2007, 09:59 AM
I think early reading might not be a sign of much but late or very late reading should be evaluated. Could be something as simple as needing glasses or as complex as dyslexia, or probably a zillion other serious or not serious things.

I have found that the ones who toot their own horns about all their work generally don't actually do much of the work. It is the few quiet hardworkers who normally make groups or committees succeed.

I enjoy hearing about our freinds' kids successes. If not couched as bragging, I find it interesting. Even if a bit boastful, we are all proud of our kids and I can usually tolerate it.

swimmieAvsFan
April 26th, 2007, 10:21 AM
The bragging about toddlers is such nonsense. Kids simply do stuff at different times and it usually evens out by 3rd grade. I had some mom comment to me that her kid was walking at 9 months and that that meant she would be an athlete. Apparently, Tiger Woods walked at 9 months. LOL. I see a lot of nervousness about when kids read too. Early reading is not correlated with being a genius or getting good grades later. Of course reading a lot to your kid is a good thing.

i walked by 9 months, without crawling first. and i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. yes, i'm an athlete, but i'm also a gi-normous klutz on land (see my post in another thread about falling off my flip flops!) my "little" brother crawled first, and walked at about a year- he's also an athlete (competitive skiier), but not nearly the klutz i am. i also read very early. and i've been wearing glasses since age 8. again, not sure if that's a good thing!

on the flip side of the coin, i have a nearly 6 year old cousin who didn't talk (at all!) till he was almost 2 and a half, but is one of the smartest little kids i know. and loves books. he didn't walk early, but was (and still is) a total "water baby" and apparently is a pretty decent t-ball player. :)

i think all parents need to realize their kids are different than everyone else's kids, and not try and compare.

just my :2cents:

SwimStud
April 26th, 2007, 10:36 AM
i think all parents need to realize their kids are different than everyone else's kids, and not try and compare.

just my :2cents:

no, my kids are better....


;) lol :rofl:

The Fortress
April 26th, 2007, 10:37 AM
I enjoy hearing about our freinds' kids successes. If not couched as bragging, I find it interesting. Even if a bit boastful, we are all proud of our kids and I can usually tolerate it.


I love hearing about my friends' kids too! It's normal/fine to be proud of your kids and happy when they succeed or do something special. And it's interesting to hear all the different things kids do. For example, I was super proud to see my 14 year old compete in triathlons last summer and watch him train so hard for them on his own. It was a mental challenge and he really had to work at the swim portion. There, I've "bragged." :thhbbb: Some people just go on and on and can't discuss anything else. I also really like hearing about how a friend's job is going or house stuff (like Rich's tiling exploits) or their tennis matches or running injuries or vacation plans. Lots to discuss.

Speaking of vacation, does anyone go on kid-less vacations?

Hey, Mollie, Mini-Fort, who you've seen in action, walked at 9 months too. She is a super clutzy jock like you! LOL. Congrats by the way! ;)

SwimStud
April 26th, 2007, 10:52 AM
I also like hearing about how a friend's job is going or house stuff (like Rich's tiling exploits)...


haha that would be not going...can't get it done...but last meet is Sunday and I may take time off to finish it and heal my shoulder & knee etc...

swimr4life
April 26th, 2007, 10:57 AM
It is the few quiet hardworkers who normally make groups or committees succeed.



That is soooo true!! Geek you hit the nail right on the head!

aquaFeisty
April 26th, 2007, 03:03 PM
It's hard enough being a parent without other people judging.

Well said, Barb!! Oh no, are you sick at your tummy today? The Pepto Bismo avatar can't be a good thing!

And, Geek, I totally agree re: hearing about each other's kids. It's one thing to be proud of your child's accomplishments, even to do a little bragging/boasting. It's natural - we all adore our kids! :) And it's fun to hear other parents pride shine through when they're talking about their kids too. What gets irritating is when the person you're talking to continues to one-up your child's exploits with theirs. My child walked at 9 months... oh really? mine walked at 7 1/2. My child has 5 words. Well, mine has 20. etc etc.

Of course, sometimes kids themselves can knock parents back down to size. My daughter could roll from her tummy to back at 2 1/2 weeks and from her back to tummy at 3 months. So I was thinking, wow this is amazing, she's going to be a superstar! But then Meggie must have decided, "Yep, that's my trick. Hope you all enjoyed it. I'm just gonna relax now." And she didn't even sit up until 8 months and didn't army crawl (let alone real crawl) till 9 months! Little kids are on their own timetable.

Of course, she is still off the charts cute in my totally unbiased opinion! :D

SwimStud
April 26th, 2007, 03:07 PM
My daughter leaned to walk without crawling...of course her broken arm had a part to play in that...poor little thing...

I used to come in and sit on the couch...she'd fetch me the remote for the TV. I never taught her...but it was great...Mrs Stud was not impressed.

ensignada
April 26th, 2007, 03:11 PM
Well said, Barb!! Oh no, are you sick at your tummy today? The Pepto Bismo avatar can't be a good thing!

Thanks, Carrie, but I'm feeling fine. It's just a knee-jerk reaction to SSs. :D

aquaFeisty
April 26th, 2007, 04:46 PM
Ah, the marmite strikes!!! :D

poolraat
April 26th, 2007, 04:48 PM
I used to come in and sit on the couch...she'd fetch me the remote for the TV. I never taught her...but it was great...Mrs Stud was not impressed.


Well my daughter used to go get me a beer...

aquaFeisty
April 26th, 2007, 04:49 PM
did she bring beers to the cat too?

The Fortress
June 1st, 2007, 09:56 AM
I finally went to my team practice last night from 7:00-8:30. My 3 kids were simultaneously at 3 different practices for 3 different sports. It was a herculean juggling act. However, I have no mommy guilt whatsoever.

But I think Aquafeisty has something to report on this issue.

(I did feel a twinge bad about not getting black hair dye for Mini-Fort for goth day at school, but I ran out of time. Besides, she borrowed all my black clothes.)

SwimStud
June 1st, 2007, 10:15 AM
I finally went to my team practice last night from 7:00-8:30. My 3 kids were simultaneously at 3 different practices for 3 different sports. It was a herculean juggling act. However, I have no mommy guilt whatsoever.

But I think Aquafeisty has something to report on this issue.

(I did feel a twinge bad about not getting black hair dye for Mini-Fort for goth day at school, but I ran out of time. Besides, she borrowed all my black clothes.)

Freeloader!

aquaFeisty
June 1st, 2007, 10:28 AM
you're kidding me, they have something called 'goth day' at your daughter's school? isn't that disrespectful to the goth kids??? :eek:

oh sure, I have mommy guilt to write of... so many possible topics! but I can't write now because I have to go dump my child on the childcare staff at the fitness center so I can hit my first swim practice in 2 1/2 weeks...

Slowswim
June 1st, 2007, 12:27 PM
I finally went to my team practice last night from 7:00-8:30. My 3 kids were simultaneously at 3 different practices for 3 different sports. It was a herculean juggling act. However, I have no mommy guilt whatsoever.

But I think Aquafeisty has something to report on this issue.

(I did feel a twinge bad about not getting black hair dye for Mini-Fort for goth day at school, but I ran out of time. Besides, she borrowed all my black clothes.)

Fort:

Goth Day??? Do they have a Pajama Day too?

dorothyrde
June 1st, 2007, 12:35 PM
We have too many goths here to have goth day....My baby's last day of Junior High is today. On to the whirlwind that is HS and that goes by fast, fast, fast.

The Fortress
June 1st, 2007, 02:10 PM
Fort:

Goth Day??? Do they have a Pajama Day too?

As a matter of fact, they do have pajama day. Even the principles come properly attired.

There are no goths in our elementary school. I think it's more of a middle school thing.

I'm feeling guilty because I don't really want to go to another long 2 day swim meet this weekend. I'm getting sick of them. The only redeeming feature of this one is that it's outside.

swimshark
June 1st, 2007, 02:16 PM
I'm feeling guilty because I don't really want to go to another long 2 day swim meet this weekend. I'm getting sick of them. The only redeeming feature of this one is that it's outside.


Fort, are your kids in the MD meet this weekend? A lot of kids from Occoquan are going. Unfortunately, they cancelled the Sat morning practice due to the meet :( I love the 2 hour Sat pracice where we get in over 3 miles. I miss that practice when we don't have it. I'll be swimming with the master 1 hour practice instead and then lifting weights (legs only, still having bad wrist problem).

Alison

The Fortress
June 1st, 2007, 02:27 PM
Fort, are your kids in the MD meet this weekend? A lot of kids from Occoquan are going. Unfortunately, they cancelled the Sat morning practice due to the meet :( I love the 2 hour Sat pracice where we get in over 3 miles. I miss that practice when we don't have it. I'll be swimming with the master 1 hour practice instead and then lifting weights (legs only, still having bad wrist problem).

Alison

Mini-Fort is swimming. Her coach signed her up. She just swam in the VA State LC Champs, so I don't know why she has to now go swim in the MD LC State Champs. I gues she's swimming some different events. But she also has a meet the following Sunday too. I'm ready to move onto the quickie nvsl meets and stop the USS meets until JOs. Plus, I don't want to drive to MD. Ugh. And I have to miss lil lil Fort's soccer game, which causes mommy guilt.

P.S. One of Mini-Fort's great friends, Kendall Hough, is on your team. They've gone to SCY zones twice together as 10 and 12 year olds and now they IM all the time.

swimshark
June 1st, 2007, 02:32 PM
P.S. One of Mini-Fort's great friends, Kendall Hough, is on your team. They've gone to SCY zones twice together as 10 and 12 year olds and now they IM all the time.

I have met Kendall once but she is in a different group. I know her name well after running their fund raiser this year. I think I know all the names now!

I hope both mini-Forts do well this weekend.

Alison

chickadee
June 1st, 2007, 03:18 PM
Sorry to jump in late on this but I was talking about this with my 9 yr old daughter last night. She was complaining about me not taking her to school much this week, and I gave her the choice, mommy gets up at 4:30 am :o to swim from 5 to 6:30 and then rush to work, missing about 45 minutes of little one in the am or missing more time after dinner. She thought about and decided the am work outs were better. Plus I can manage about three of these a week, before I hit the alarm and roll over.

I agree it is important not to judge each persons decisions. Thankfully and oddly enough most of my daughters friends have mom's who work outside the home- I wonder if they met in some secret support group at school, " Hi, my name is .... and my mom works outside the home and no she can't bake 40 cupcakes on two hours notice".:rofl:

SwimStud
June 1st, 2007, 03:26 PM
Sorry to jump in late on this but I was talking about this with my 9 yr old daughter last night. She was complaining about me not taking her to school much this week, and I gave her the choice, mommy gets up at 4:30 am :o to swim from 5 to 6:30 and then rush to work, missing about 45 minutes of little one in the am or missing more time after dinner. She thought about and decided the am work outs were better. Plus I can manage about three of these a week, before I hit the alarm and roll over.

I agree it is important not to judge each persons decisions. Thankfully and oddly enough most of my daughters friends have mom's who work outside the home- I wonder if they met in some secret support group at school, " Hi, my name is .... and my mom works outside the home and no she can't bake 40 cupcakes on two hours notice".:rofl:


"S" is for "Supermom!"

3strokes
June 10th, 2007, 06:35 PM
Not me.

I've only ever been a Daddy; never been a Mommy.
(Not even a Mummy -though I originally hail from the
Land of the Pharaohs!)