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islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 06:15 PM
Okay, you won't believe this one. I wish I had time to write Bill O'Reilly and have him put this on his Most Ridiculous Item of the Day for tonight's show.

Central America and all of its people will perish sometime tomorrow including me! The reason is because tomorrow will be the hottest day in history with temperatures going upwards of 200 degrees. So, in preparation for their impending demise, all schools and businesses will be closed, as well as the airports and even the power companies are going to shut down sometime before noon tomorrow. (I guess they want to make sure this hoax happens so they will shut off power). Yesterday and today, our airport shut down with no flights in or out in preparation for tomorrow's end of Central America. And I have a Continental flight out of here on Saturday? What's going to happen with that?

This got started because some world reknown astrologer says the stars, moon, and sun are all in alignment for a disaster of this kind. After my swim today, I actually talked to a Honduran family and they are being fitted for coffins this evening.

Now I know you must think I am making this all up, but I am not. Hondurans are very superstitious people (I've got a million of them) and they believe EVERYTHING they hear. The government of Central America has ordered the country-wide shutdown for tomorrow. No wonder it is a very poor country; they just don't have reasoning powers.

So, if you never hear from me again, it is because I burned up :rofl:.

Should I email as many people as possible and tell them "good-bye?" :rofl:

donna

Seagurl51
April 26th, 2007, 06:41 PM
OMG! That's crazy!

I hope you don't burn up!!! Wear sunscreen.


They really went to get fitted for coffins?

ensignada
April 26th, 2007, 06:52 PM
Donna, it's been an honor (sniff, sniff). Many monkey-la-las will be raised in your honor. Be brave!

islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 06:52 PM
Kyra, Sunscreen? do they make a 1000 UV block?:rofl: These people have thousands of myths (just not swimming ones) and they truly believe all of them. My hubby and I are laughing our ****s off over this one because business will actually come to a halt over this hoax, thus preventing Honduras from making money for an entire day and thus losing probably millions. How ridiculous is that? And my husband just closed on an expensive house (he sells dirt) and he got a large commission hours ago and now I won't have the time to spend it :rofl:.

islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 06:56 PM
Donna, it's been an honor (sniff, sniff). Many monkey-la-las will be raised in your honor. Be brave!

Thank you so much ex-witness protection program person, because I will be passing away sometime tomorrow, I decided to spend my last hours on this forum with all whom I love and drinking lots of rum and cokes; I didn't get to the store to get the fixins for Monkey LaLas. Please remember me and think about me next August of 2008 when I would have attempted my 18 mile swim to Utila. Like my husband Jim said, if it does get as hot as they think, they I will be walking there cause there will be no water. And since I am not a walker (boring), I would never have gotten my final dream.

I wish you all World Peace.:wave:

islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 06:58 PM
Kyra, Sunscreen? do they make a 1000 UV block?:rofl: These people have thousands of myths (just not swimming ones) and they truly believe all of them. My hubby and I are laughing our ****s off over this one because business will actually come to a halt over this hoax, thus preventing Honduras from making money for an entire day and thus losing probably millions. How ridiculous is that? And my husband just closed on an expensive house (he sells dirt) and he got a large commission hours ago and now I won't have the time to spend it :rofl:.

aquageek
April 26th, 2007, 07:04 PM
A close friend of mine is an exec with a big multi-nat and has been in Central America this week and has been messaging about how ridiculously hot it has been. Could be true, you never know?

meldyck
April 26th, 2007, 07:11 PM
Donna,

I'll bet they still have asbestos suits at the local fire houses. If I were you, I'd sneak into one of those and snag one. You'll only be in it for a little while, until the temperature cools, say, to a comfortable 150 and then you can take it off. Shouldn't have to worry a bit about future lung-related problems.

And, just think how interested the male barflies will be to see a lady swimmer coming out of the water in an asbestos suit! Maybe not Ursula Andress but surely Bondian, no?

-- mel

3strokes
April 26th, 2007, 09:09 PM
islandsox;89699

.....................
Now I know you must think I am making this all up, but I am not. Hondurans are very superstitious people (I've got a million of them) and they believe EVERYTHING they hear.
....................
donna


Can you get this message out to them in time?

"Donna and Ahmed hold the key to your reincarnation, provided you transfer all your bank account balances (50/50) to bank accounts numbers .................... and ........................"

(post intercepted and hijacked and bank account numbers copied down then deleted).

islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 09:23 PM
A close friend of mine is an exec with a big multi-nat and has been in Central America this week and has been messaging about how ridiculously hot it has been. Could be true, you never know?


YIKES, now I am scared!!! The truth is today was extremely hot and humid and no wind and tomorrow is supposed to be worse, but April is always like this here, as is September. Our house was only 101 degrees today, it has been much hotter, trust me. And tomorrow when it gets hotter, we will run our generator and bring ALL the animals into our A/C bedroom so they don't suffer. But the demise of all of Central America? I guess, Geek, if no one hears from me tomorrow (we actually may have communications outages), then this hoax was not one after all. But I plan on being here tomorrow, HOT, but here.
:drink:

islandsox
April 26th, 2007, 09:25 PM
Can you get this message out to them in time?

"Donna and Ahmed hold the key to your reincarnation, provided you transfer all your bank account balances (50/50) to bank accounts numbers .................... and ........................"

(post intercepted and hijacked and bank account numbers copied down then deleted).

Ahmed, now you are thinking!! Why didn't I think about getting people's bank account numbers, but of course the banks will be closed tomorrow, but next week, I could have been a millionaire (in Lempiras of course).

:rofl:

Karen Duggan
April 26th, 2007, 10:37 PM
Guess you oughtta bump up the date of that 18 mile swim, and head for the other island, ah hell, start tonight and head to Florida!

As sure is Central America will cease to exist, I will board my jet tonight and meet you in Ft. Lauderdale. There you will be inducted into the ISHOF, not only for your swimming prowess, but because you were the only one smart enough to leave! :rofl:

And, I'm looking out for your best interests here, what was that account # again? :smooch: :drink:

3strokes
April 26th, 2007, 11:53 PM
Karen Duggan;89768
And, I'm looking out for your best interests here, what was that account # again? :smooch: :drink:


An evil slacker (Why didn't that html code work? I was going to strike out a "rhymes-with-'acker" word, but the strike tag did not work]
....... Sorry, I meant hacker, intercepted the post, broke the 213.33 bit encryption code and now s/he (not our own s/he, I'm sure) knows the access code to my life savings. All 77 cents (Canadian) of them and Donna's 1.3 Lempiras.
And now, as Karen gets in on the Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad World chase, soon to be joined by all the others (no guests allowed) do we all meet under the giant XXX to divide the spoils?

You'll recognize Donna by her suntan (and the drumsticks, I guess). I might be wearing my Groucho Marx mustache and nose.

Leonard Jansen
April 27th, 2007, 06:53 AM
Anyone here remember Donna Dunn? Nice lady. Too bad what happened to her when Central America burned up. Some people just won't listen to reason.

If anyone posts under the name "Donna Dunn" or "islandsox" from here on in, just ignore them - it's a very ghoulish, tasteless trick.

Sad.

-LBJ

3strokes
April 27th, 2007, 07:30 AM
islandsox;89744
Ahmed, now you are thinking!! Why didn't I think about getting people's bank account numbers, but of course the banks will be closed tomorrow, but next week, I could have been a millionaire (in Lempiras of course).

:rofl:


Internet banking, 24/7, and you don't even need to wear a ski mask in that heat (use it to cover your computer camera as you're doing the deed). Or..............ATMs.

I guess I shouldn't have to tell you that when your first post of today is seen on USMS, the sigh of relief coming from Florida to Alaska (Canada in between) will be loud enough to reach you (even underwater).

tjburk
April 27th, 2007, 09:45 AM
Oh where Oh where can our Donna Dunn be?

3strokes
April 27th, 2007, 09:53 AM
Oh where Oh where can our Donna Dunn be?

She's probably out there, in a queue, to buy that asbestos suit.
I hope she gets it charged and does not pay cash. (In case she has
to swim to Florida, after all, AND the country evaporates).

swimr4life
April 27th, 2007, 10:15 AM
Donna, are you out there? Hello?

Slowswim
April 27th, 2007, 10:16 AM
She's probably out there, in a queue, to buy that asbestos suit.
I hope she gets it charged and does not pay cash. (In case she has
to swim to Florida, after all, AND the country evaporates).

If the country evaporates so will the water. Can't she just walk to Florida? I'd just stop in at Key West. Its on the way.

Karen Duggan
April 27th, 2007, 11:14 AM
She's on the queue all right- the BARBECUE!!!
(insert crispy smiley)
:drink:

imspoiled
April 27th, 2007, 11:50 AM
Oh No! I just saw the news about Donna. I am confident if she didn't make it in the asbestos suit, she is looking down at all of us and keeping up with the NSR threads.

I would also like to propose the Donna Dunn Memorial 18 mile open water swim. The event will be help in Honduras when the temps drop to a more acceptable level. Free Monkey LaLas for all who participate. Swimming topless is optional.

SwimStud
April 27th, 2007, 11:52 AM
did someone say swimming topless??

:rofl:

poolraat
April 27th, 2007, 11:53 AM
did someone say swimming topless??

:rofl:


I do it all the time.:banana: :thhbbb:

tjburk
April 27th, 2007, 01:54 PM
So do I.....Coincidence?:D

The Fortress
April 27th, 2007, 04:05 PM
Should I email as many people as possible and tell them "good-bye?" :rofl:

donna

I hate goodbyes. :(

Please come live in a civilized country. Forget about swimming 18 miles. Come swim in masters meets and attend forum dinners. I'm sure they can make MonkeyLaLas here too.

3strokes
April 27th, 2007, 06:26 PM
IslandSox, where are you?

It's been a little over 24 hours that anyone here (that I know of)
has heard from you.

Did Central America really disappear?

Did your ISP have a melt-down?

How will we know if you're OK (when will you reach Key West?)?

Are all the Honduran homing pigeons boiled?

Send a smoke signal !!!

islandsox
April 27th, 2007, 06:38 PM
:applaud: I'm Alive!! I'm truly alive. I have been LMAO over all of your goodbyes and memorials; wow, it's great to be missed even when alive. I don't have to start swimming tonight after all Karen, and I won't have to walk to Florida.

Our weather was actually cooler today than yesterday; all businesses were closed, airport closed, banks, schools, grocery stores, power company. And the asbestos suit was a terrific idea, but it would help if we had a Fire Department first (which we don't).

No people showed up for work anywhere readying themselves for their impending meeting of their Maker which, and this is going to be a real surprise to you all, didn't happen. No sir-ee, didn't happen.

But we did actually see the Honduran version of the Blue Angels (well-sorta, they are military planes painted bright blue to keep them from being seen--another terrific move on their part) and they flew continuously over our island while I spent my time floating on an air mattress getting a tan with friends.

So I am reborn but am the same person.

3strokes
April 27th, 2007, 07:10 PM
:applaud: ... our island while I spent my time floating on an air mattress getting a tan with friends.


Yes, I thought its looked like it might have been you (on GoogleEarth), as we were getting ready to send out a search party.

FindingMyInnerFish
April 27th, 2007, 11:55 PM
Darn news blackouts! I can't find anything about this prediction online! The black helicopter folks must have suppressed it....:dunno:

<Aside>And while the following belongs on the smiley thread, I think I should mention that it's quite unfair that I can't reach my full range of expression without a "conspiracy theory smiley." But what would it look like?<end aside>

islandsox
April 28th, 2007, 12:13 PM
Darn news blackouts! I can't find anything about this prediction online! The black helicopter folks must have suppressed it....:dunno:

<Aside>And while the following belongs on the smiley thread, I think I should mention that it's quite unfair that I can't reach my full range of expression without a "conspiracy theory smiley." But what would it look like?<end aside>

You couldn't find it because the USA networks realized it was too ridiculous to even report; but it is all over the Spanish cable and internet down here; or was. They haven't reported since because they would look like the idiots they are.

FindingMyInnerFish
April 28th, 2007, 03:41 PM
You couldn't find it because the USA networks realized it was too ridiculous to even report; but it is all over the Spanish cable and internet down here; or was. They haven't reported since because they would look like the idiots they are.

Ah, but by stopping the reports, they've deprived us not only of entertainment but also of some great material for the masters' horror flick... Of course, I forgot to check in the Weekly World News... They can always be counted on for good "outre" stuff, although the reappearance of Elvis stories are getting old. They could use fresh material.

3strokes
April 29th, 2007, 05:42 PM
Hi Donna,

We know you're away (from home) and maybe will not be checking the site, but when you go back to Roatan, you can tell all these Hondurans that they should NOT have worried at all.

You see, I have been researching all the incriminating evidence against you and I realized that you're an American (ain't ya?) and therefore when you said 200 Degrees, you probably meant Fahrenheit. That would not have caused the oceans to vanish.
200 F = 93.33 C (In C water boils at 100C).:shakeshead:

Take Care

islandsox
April 29th, 2007, 06:00 PM
Hi Donna,

We know you're away (from home) and maybe will not be checking the site, but when you go back to Roatan, you can tell all these Hondurans that they should NOT have worried at all.

You see, I have been researching all the incriminating evidence against you and I realized that you're an American (ain't ya?) and therefore when you said 200 Degrees, you probably meant Fahrenheit. That would not have caused the oceans to vanish.
200 F = 93.33 C (In C water boils at 100C).:shakeshead:

Take Care

And lord there have been lots of incriminating going on recently and even though I hold dual citizenship, I will always be an American and I did mean 200 Fahrenheit because that's what the govt used when issuing the country-wide report. So even though I am back in the States, at least you saw me on Google Earth floating on that air mattress (LOL).

All of the Gringos (us in Central America) (is this okay to say? I'm not offended by it) are having a blast laughing about all of this. But as I said, Hondurans are very superstitious people; I've got one about a round pizza that maybe I'll post a thread on. It's hilarious. So even though these people are believers in things I would never believe in, they are the nicest people in the world and very simple in their living. No politically correctness going on down here!!!

It's wonderful being back in the US of A.....

SwimStud
April 29th, 2007, 06:06 PM
And lord there have been lots of incriminating going on recently and even though I hold dual citizenship, I will always be an American and I did mean 200 Fahrenheit because that's what the govt used when issuing the country-wide report. So even though I am back in the States, at least you saw me on Google Earth floating on that air mattress (LOL).

All of the Gringos (us in Central America) (is this okay to say? I'm not offended by it) are having a blast laughing about all of this. But as I said, Hondurans are very superstitious people; I've got one about a round pizza that maybe I'll post a thread on. It's hilarious. So even though these people are believers in things I would never believe in, they are the nicest people in the world and very simple in their living. No politically correctness going on down here!!!

It's wonderful being back in the US of A.....

Donna stay...move to CT and be my coach.. I'll feed you well and make Monkey La La's every night... :D

3strokes
April 29th, 2007, 08:37 PM
Donna stay...move to CT and be my coach.. I'll feed you well and make Monkey La La's every night... :D

Don't you dare try to kidnap (or hijack) her.

I offered her 50% of all the money in Honduras (I might have let her keep
40% after taking my share of 70%) and yet -I guess- I made her an offer that she could refuse- (it seems this last phrase, edited- could belong to the thread of "Movie mis-quotes")- and she refused it and you would buy her with Monkey La Las? She is, after all, mitad-Hondureņa (and her husband does deal in Honduran dust.....)

islandsox
April 29th, 2007, 09:43 PM
SwimStud and Ahmed,

You guys are just too :rofl: . I would love to stay in the States and come to Masters meets and redo my swims with times that would be permanently recorded, only I am so much slower now, turtle speed I believe. Does Masters have a Turtle Category? And I'll show you how to make Monkey LaLas and Mojitos!!!
:smooch: to you both.

Donna

ensignada
April 29th, 2007, 09:54 PM
Donna, the Turtle Division is one up from the Three-Toed-Sloth Division I'm in.

FindingMyInnerFish
April 30th, 2007, 08:01 AM
Donna, the Turtle Division is one up from the Three-Toed-Sloth Division I'm in.

You guys don't even want to KNOW what division this puts me in lol!

Forget the Monkey lalas or whatever! Come to Philly, land of cheesesteaks and soft pretzels and the Rocky statue and I'll care for you properly if you can coach me up from divisionlessness to three-toed sloth division. Here, we have Dock Street :drink: brewery, and once you've tasted their amber, there's no going to any other state. :groovy: This is totally the place... We even have tropical summers!

tjburk
April 30th, 2007, 09:32 AM
No, No, No.........

Come to the land of "Suthen Haaspitality" somewhere between Atlanta and Wonderful Robins, GA...

SwimStud
April 30th, 2007, 10:28 AM
Look, I got first dibs on Donna.

You can all back off. That or we settle this the "old fashioned" way..."

Noodle Jousting...

:laugh2:

3strokes
April 30th, 2007, 10:46 AM
Look, I got first dibs on Donna.

You can all back off. That or we settle this the "old fashioned" way..."

Noodle Jousting...

:laugh2:


At 20 paces?
Flintlocks or Arquebus, for when the Noodles break or splinter
on the Fastskin suits of arm-more?

tjburk
April 30th, 2007, 11:04 AM
Noodle Jousting or Paddle Star Throwing? Either way....you will lose!!!!:thhbbb:

SwimStud
April 30th, 2007, 11:08 AM
Noodle Jousting or Paddle Star Throwing? Either way....you will lose!!!!:thhbbb:

Bah, your Paddle Stars of Death will not penetrate my shield-o-kickboard!

tjburk
April 30th, 2007, 12:04 PM
Come back....I'll bite your ankles off........OOPS wrong thread!!!!!:rofl: :rofl:

imspoiled
April 30th, 2007, 12:51 PM
You guys don't even want to KNOW what division this puts me in lol!

Forget the Monkey lalas or whatever! Come to Philly, land of cheesesteaks and soft pretzels and the Rocky statue and I'll care for you properly if you can coach me up from divisionlessness to three-toed sloth division. Here, we have Dock Street :drink: brewery, and once you've tasted their amber, there's no going to any other state. :groovy: This is totally the place... We even have tropical summers!

Yes Donna, come to Philly! You can train InnerFish & I to become backstroking, super-distance swimmers.

Um, Fish.... is "tropical" the polite way of saying swelteringly humid? The rest I agree with completely.

Dana

SwimStud
April 30th, 2007, 01:06 PM
Yes Donna, come to Philly! You can train InnerFish & I to become backstroking, super-distance swimmers.

Um, Fish.... is "tropical" the polite way of saying swelteringly humid? The rest I agree with completely.

Dana

Well PA isn't that far from CT. If you can get Donna to be your coach...I'll need lodgings...

Seagurl51
April 30th, 2007, 01:23 PM
I must be honest, I haven't been reading this thread. But did someone say Mojitos?!?!?

The Fortress
April 30th, 2007, 02:50 PM
I love mojitos!!

So, Donna is in Texas and I just spoke to her on the phone. She has the sweetest little Southern accent and she is soooooo nice! :)

ensignada
April 30th, 2007, 02:56 PM
Three to one, Donna!

You can train InnerFish, imspoiled and me in the Philly area...what a range of skill sets...what a challenge! :drink:

(Husband says you can stay with us, SS. Bring your tile cutter....:D)

SwimStud
April 30th, 2007, 03:01 PM
I love mojitos!!

So, Donna is in Texas and I just spoke to her on the phone. She has the sweetest little Southern accent and she is soooooo nice! :)

No fair...how come only you get some phone?


Three to one, Donna!

You can train InnerFish, imspoiled and me in the Philly area...what a range of skill sets...what a challenge! :drink:

(Husband says you can stay with us, SS. Bring your tile cutter....:D)

Haha you'll be lucky Barb...

islandsox
April 30th, 2007, 04:14 PM
:hug: to you all and now that I think about it, why don't I just stay in the States permanently and start my own Masters Swim Team and all of y'all can swim on this new team at meets, but you can train with whomever you want (I wouldn't care) and I can travel and visit and teach you how to make Mojitos and Monkey LaLas for afterward. And since I am not a liar, I promise I can help you all to become distance swimmers if you want to; I bribe only with money!!! Oh, but I don't offer the DAL I and II programs. :joker: But we can start with the Splash for Cash Program first.

But we will need to name it something very different from everyone else's club; something like Gutter Talk Swim Club or ?????.

And I enjoyed talking to Fort, I got to first speak to Little Fort and she is a Little Fort and Big Fort's voice sounds like her face looks; just what I had pictured.

The Fortress
April 30th, 2007, 11:17 PM
No fair...how come only you get some phone?


Did you send chocolates and books about the old BF?

We will all have to be team "whores" (as opposed to relay whores) and join Donna's team.

FindingMyInnerFish
April 30th, 2007, 11:23 PM
I like this idea of a nationwide swim club with Donna as our collective/virtual coach and teacher of all things good such as making Monkey LaLa's... and if I have enough of those, I could slip from divisionlessness to something even deeper than that.... Still, what a person won't sacrifice for new taste thrills...

Also, Dana, yes, "tropical" is kind of a euphemism for Philly's typical summers. But not to worry... the Schuylkill, home of many a triathlon swim, awaits those who find the heat too great... and afterward, you'll be so glad to be back on our humid land again, but don't tell anyone... this is just for the eyes of Philly pholk, and I hope our secret is safe here in this intimate little forum. :cool:

islandsox
May 1st, 2007, 06:53 AM
I like this idea of a nationwide swim club with Donna as our collective/virtual coach and teacher of all things good such as making Monkey LaLa's... and if I have enough of those, I could slip from divisionlessness to something even deeper than that.... Still, what a person won't sacrifice for new taste thrills...

Also, Dana, yes, "tropical" is kind of a euphemism for Philly's typical summers. But not to worry... the Schuylkill, home of many a triathlon swim, awaits those who find the heat too great... and afterward, you'll be so glad to be back on our humid land again, but don't tell anyone... this is just for the eyes of Philly pholk, and I hope our secret is safe here in this intimate little forum. :cool:


:rofl: Now how can a secret be safe since you just told everyone? Here's another name for our forum masters swim team: Sandbaggers Swim Club and when we compete, no one will really know our times and won't take us seriously; kind of like a herd of dark horses!!

SwimStud
May 1st, 2007, 08:28 AM
I am just looking forward to the sets:

10x 100 FR on 1 Monkey La La intervals (sipped slowly)

;) :rofl:

Sandbaggers Swim Club: Sure we may smell like rum...but we're having a great time!

ensignada
May 1st, 2007, 09:13 AM
What can it hurt? My flip turns already look like I'm drunk.

tjburk
May 1st, 2007, 10:42 AM
I can picture backstroke drills with Margarita glasses on our foreheads......
If you spill any you get flogged by the rest of the team for Alcohol Abuse!

SwimStud
May 1st, 2007, 11:47 AM
I can picture backstroke drills with Margarita glasses on our foreheads......
If you spill any you get flogged by the rest of the team for Alcohol Abuse!

Define "flogged" this may not be a discouragement...:dedhorse:

lol

tjburk
May 1st, 2007, 12:07 PM
Flogged by the noodlers of the world!

FindingMyInnerFish
May 1st, 2007, 12:41 PM
Flogged by the noodlers of the world!

... in 90 degree water....

My flip turn these days is non-existent. Maybe the alcohol will bring it back...

3strokes
May 1st, 2007, 08:08 PM
... in 90 degree water....
...

which is 3 degrees cooler (Centigrade or Celsius) than
Donna was expecting when she went AWOL for a whole day,
floating on an air mattress and suntanning while we all were
(minus one person) worrying about her.

islandsox
May 1st, 2007, 09:47 PM
I am just looking forward to the sets:

10x 100 FR on 1 Monkey La La intervals (sipped slowly)

;) :rofl:

Sandbaggers Swim Club: Sure we may smell like rum...but we're having a great time!


:rofl: :rofl: What a hoot!!! I thought maybe this set would be interesting:

10 x 50s free with 4 Mojitos rest
or
16 x 25's choice with 20 Monkey LaLa's rest (no turns
Barb or Innerfish)

FindingMyInnerFish
May 2nd, 2007, 06:40 AM
:rofl: :rofl: What a hoot!!! I thought maybe this set would be interesting:

10 x 50s free with 4 Mojitos rest
or
16 x 25's choice with 20 Monkey LaLa's rest (no turns
Barb or Innerfish)

I like it! although after the first 25 with 20 MLL's, the next fifteen could be a serious blur! ;)