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The Fortress
May 1st, 2007, 11:19 PM
What is it with teenagers? Why do they feel compelled to be rude and disrespectful? Do they really need to slam parents? My 12 year old just said I "never get to the laundry" when that's all I do. (And why is her light still on when I've told her to go bed a few times and she has early morning swim practice?!)

I'm sure I was a good teenager. I studied and swam like crazy and was almost never any trouble. (Maybe I was a wee bit lippy ...) But what gives? Kids these days ... Wow, that made me feel old.

Teenagers are way more trouble than women. And they lie more.

SwimStud
May 1st, 2007, 11:21 PM
What is it with teenagers? Why do they feel compelled to be rude and disrespectful? Do they really need to slam parents? My 12 year old just said I "never get to the laundry" when that's all I do.

I'm sure I was a good teenager. I studied and swam like crazy and was almost never any trouble. (Maybe I was a wee bit lippy ...) But what gives? Kids these days ... Wow, that made me feel old.

Teenagers are way more trouble than women.

Hah! my 9 year old is convinced she has armpit hairs...damn these educational books...now she's champing at the bit for the onset of puberty and the joys that it brings to a loving father...
H E L P

globuggie
May 1st, 2007, 11:37 PM
As a recent teen, I think she's mainly testing her boundaries. She needs the security of loving parents who actually prove they care about her by enforcing rules. Also most teens don't have the reasoning skills adults have, so some things that seem obvious to you aren't obvious to her. It really is just a phase, and she will appreciate what you did when she gets older and more mature.

The Fortress
May 1st, 2007, 11:51 PM
As a recent teen, I think she's mainly testing her boundaries. She needs the security of loving parents who actually prove they care about her by enforcing rules. Also most teens don't have the reasoning skills adults have, so some things that seem obvious to you aren't obvious to her. It really is just a phase, and she will appreciate what you did when she gets older and more mature.

She's currently cell-phone-less after excessive cell phone use. (I may put a tracking device in her self phone as she gets older because I know teenagers lie.) How long does this phase last exactly?

My other teenager seems to have plenty of reasoning skills. He likes to use them to argue with me. Not a good idea generally, unless the topic is neutral and not always about what he wants to do and when.

But my 6 year old is by far the most fun to be around.

ensignada
May 1st, 2007, 11:58 PM
Hah! my 9 year old is convinced she has armpit hairs...damn these educational books...now she's champing at the bit for the onset of puberty and the joys that it brings to a loving father...
H E L P

Start laying in the Grecian Formula.

Mine little one is only six and I dread the thought of puberty and hormones. She's so sweet right now, and she believes I can make, do or fix anything.

Seagurl51
May 2nd, 2007, 12:29 AM
I'm with Globuggie in the recent graduate from teenagedom.

It really does get better. There's that time when no matter what any one says they just won't listen. No body gets them, but them kinda thing. Just be supportive, but not overbearing. But give 'em a little space to breathe too. The best way to learn is by mistakes. Not happy experience for anyone, but I know some of the most important lessons I've learned are from mistakes I made. I'd been warned what would happen, but until I did it myself I wouldnt' have listened to anyone. And know that things you taught them, in a crunch really do matter. There's been times when I was going to do something really bad, then realized it might not be the best idea. We do actually listen to parents though it may not seem like it at the time. It'll pass.



p.s. Make her do her own laundry. It sucked when my mom cut me off, but then when I had no underwear I had no one to blame but myself.

Muppet
May 2nd, 2007, 12:31 AM
Can recent teens already be masters swimmers?

Since the 05 rule change, more teenagers can be masters swimmers... they expanded it one year down to 18.
:frustrated: :dedhorse: :frustrated: :dedhorse: :frustrated: :dedhorse:

Fort, its not all that bad. As I mentioned way back when, at least you're not Grandma Fort... yet... :P

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 08:24 AM
Fort, its not all that bad. As I mentioned way back when, at least you're not Grandma Fort... yet... :P

Ack! Don't say that! :shakeshead:

FindingMyInnerFish
May 2nd, 2007, 08:40 AM
Mark Twain is supposed to have said that when he was fourteen he thought his father knew nothing. At 21, he says, he was amazed at how much his father had learned in only seven years. ;)

I don't have kids, but I see it in some of the college students I teach. One develops a thicker skin after a while. My most memorable student retort when I pointed out in the class grammar handbook the problem with a particular sentence he wrote, "I don't care what the book says. I'm right!" Or the student who said, "What's the use of reading _Jane Eyre_? It won't help me make any money!" Or "Are we doing anything in class tomorrow? I have to study for an exam the next period." (Um, no, we're just going to sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for you to come back?) My niece once asked some kids on a team she was coaching, "Are you going to practice or sit around talking about boys?" She reports that they chose the "sit around talking about boys" option.

When I stopped (as survival required) taking it personally, I found some of their comments entertaining in a weird sort of way.

dorothyrde
May 2nd, 2007, 09:30 AM
I am on teen two(boy 19, girl 14). The boy was definately easier although right now he is going through some issues.....

My DD decided that doing all the work in Government this quarter is a waste of time and cramming for the constitution test the day before was best. So she has not done homework for 4.5 weeks in that class. Needless to say she is now doing blocks of the work to make it up each day. I found out accidently Monday, we met with the teacher Tuesday and even her best friend scolded her on this one.

I gotta admit, I am reviewing each of the sections as she is getting done, and while the material is better than when I had to take it many moons ago, it is still snooooooore.

swimr4life
May 2nd, 2007, 09:58 AM
Fort, the main thing is realizing that "this too shall pass!" My husband and I said an alien came down and inhabited my oldest daughter from the ages of 14 til 17. My youngest became alien possesed at 14 and is still under possesion! She has become more human since her surgery in January when we got part of her "alien":rofl: out!

KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!! Sometimes the best defense is a smile and laugh when they say something outrageously mean or hateful. Don't take them too seriously or personally. If they do hurt your feelings or are really mean, point it out to them. They have to learn compassion too. They have so many thoughts and feelings going on in their brains that sometimes they have a hard time expressing them. If my daughters started acting "funny" or short tempered, I'd always say ,"Sweetie, you're not acting like yourself. Is there anything bothering you? You can talk to me about it if you'd like." Lots of times that is when the well would break and they would cry and let it all out. You have to try to not let them push your buttons. If they continue misbehaving or being disrespectful despite you warning them to stop a behavior, do exactly what you did....take cell phones, cars, priveledges away. That usually gets their attention. It's a very hard phase because they start pushing you away. They only want you when they need something. We nicknamed my oldest "the cat" because she would only be nice to me when she wanted something!

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 10:22 AM
They only want you when they need something. We nicknamed my oldest "the cat" because she would only be nice to me when she wanted something!

Yes, I've noticed this. I've called Min-Fort "Ali-cat" for a couple years now. :rofl:

I try to smile and laugh at them as much as possible. But the self-absorption and thoughtlessness does bug me sometimes. Although Mini-Fort did say "thank you, Mom" when I dropped her off at early morning swim practice today. I guess she knows I really, really hate getting up early.

The weepy thing is interesting too. They get so emotional and dramatic (at least my girl, not Fortson)! After her last meet when she was well off her best times, Mini-Fort wailed "I'm never going to get any better in breaststroke." I just rolled my eyes. I feel for those swim coaches!

FlyQueen
May 2nd, 2007, 10:30 AM
If she isn't going to get better in breaststroke then it's time to start doing more fly ... duh!

If I talked back as a teen I would get grounded. I rarely did it and it was by far my worst teen behavior. Hormones are not nice though. Think how irrational they can make you at a certain time of the month.

In dealing with about 80 11-13 year olds daily I have found most put on an act to seem cooler and more confident then they are. They all are insecure and trying to find their way. A little bit of babying does wonders and the occassional sit down now and stop talking said in a loud voice is also helpful. Speaking of those guys I need to go figure out what were are doing the rest of the week ...

globuggie
May 2nd, 2007, 10:55 AM
Another comment - from various conversations with my college friends over the past few years, almost everyone I have talked to has said that the middle school years were their most miserable years. The physical changes and emotional changes and hormones and social difficulties are hard for her, too.

swimmieAvsFan
May 2nd, 2007, 10:59 AM
Another comment - from various conversations with my college friends over the past few years, almost everyone I have talked to has said that the middle school years were their most miserable years. The physical changes and emotional changes and hormones and social difficulties are hard for her, too.

OMG you aren't kidding. i've often said you couldn't pay me enough to go back and re-live the middle school years. especially as a girl. catty isn't a strong enough word to describe the cliques that form at that age. if you're at all different from the "popular" crowd (taller, shorter, skinnier, heavier, hair too short, hair too long, bangs, no bangs, i could go on and on), your life will be miserable for those three years. unless you can find a band of other "outcasts" to befriend. then it's a little easier.
(can you tell i hated middle school with a passion?)

poolraat
May 2nd, 2007, 11:12 AM
Fort, its not all that bad..........at least you're not Grandma ........



Ack! Don't say that! :shakeshead:


What's the problem? I was a Grandpa at your age.:thhbbb:

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 11:12 AM
I have a three year old daughter and we are stopping at one. When we got married, my wife said she wanted 6 sons!!!!

My daughter has my SAHM of a wife well trained already. Reading these posts, you guys have me scared!:help:

At least, I know I'll have my little sweetheart until she's 6!:banana:

It envision the scene from the movie RV where Robin Williams' daughters as a kid says, "I'll always love you daddy" very sweetly; then the shot she's a teen and says, "mom your husband is outside..."

I know I'll lose my little girl someday, but our motto is "we aren't raising a child; we are raising an adult." So whatever the pain level gets to, the goal is a well rounded and productive adult. Hopefully, she'll have fond childhood memories too.:smooch:
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smontanaro
May 2nd, 2007, 11:18 AM
I'm 53 and in absolutely no hurry to be a grandpa. I'd like a couple years at least after
my last one leaves the nest before the next generation comes along... ;)

Skip

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 12:37 PM
My mother and I shared the worst years of our lives when I was a hormonal teen and she was going through menopause. We needed to put an ocean between us for a year before we got back into balance.

Not good memories.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:45 PM
My mother and I shared the worst years of our lives when I was a hormonal teen and she was going through menopause. We needed to put an ocean between us for a year before we got back into balance.

Not good memories.

Isn't that kind of the same thing but 30 years or so apart?

What about male menopause? Truth, or convenient excuse to drive a convertable and marry a 22 year old Vegas show girl?
I just want to know how to handle it...

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 12:54 PM
Isn't that kind of the same thing but 30 years or so apart?

What about male menopause? Truth, or convenient excuse to drive a convertable and marry a 22 year old Vegas show girl?
I just want to know how to handle it...

Well, you're a fool if you marry her.

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 12:55 PM
Isn't that kind of the same thing but 30 years or so apart?

What about male menopause? Truth, or convenient excuse to drive a convertable and marry a 22 year old Vegas show girl?
I just want to know how to handle it...

Truth!!!

That's my story and I/m sticking to it.:groovy:
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SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:56 PM
Well, you're a fool if you marry her.
Ok I won't marry her...

:rofl:

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 12:57 PM
Ok I won't marry her...

:rofl:

What I said.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 12:57 PM
This reminds me of a fun thread. idea... who has a "freebie" list?

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 12:59 PM
This reminds me of a fun thread. idea... who has a "freebie" list?

Pardon me?

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:01 PM
Pardon me?
Dd you ever see the episode of friends with the freebie list (movie stars..etc)...Ross took off Isabella Rossini as they guys told him it was too ulikely he'd meet her...so he changed his freebie list (it was limited to 3 women) and then she turned up in the coffee shop..it was a hoot.

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 01:04 PM
Dd you ever see the episode of friends with the freebie list (movie stars..etc)...Ross took off Isabella Rossini as they guys told him it was too ulikely he'd meet her...so he changed his freebie list (it was limited to 3 women) and then she turned up in the coffee shop..it was a hoot.

Never saw it, but ok, I get it.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:06 PM
Never saw it, but ok, I get it.

What did you think I meant Barb...worried I offended you there.

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 01:13 PM
What did you think I meant Barb...worried I offended you there.

I had no idea what you meant - it caught me as a non-sequitor, which is why I asked.

My last post was short because I was thinking of what a Rorschach blot that kind of list could be....

And Stud? If you offend me, I'll let you know. (Does "freeloading" ring any bells? :D)

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:19 PM
I had no idea what you meant - it caught me as a non-sequitor, which is why I asked.

My last post was short because I was thinking of what a Rorschach blot that kind of list could be....

And Stud? If you offend me, I'll let you know. (Does "freeloading" ring any bells? :D)

I never said all SAHM were freeloaders but there are some...just as not all 2nd wives 20yrs younger are goldiggers, or not genuinely in love.
I was a SAHD so I can say freeloading if I want anyhow :p and I was a bit.
Although I cooked dinners and was studying.

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 01:27 PM
I never said all SAHM were freeloaders but there are some...just as not all 2nd wives 20yrs younger are goldiggers, or not genuinely in love.
I was a SAHD so I can say freeloading if I want anyhow :p and I was a bit.
Although I cooked dinners and was studying.

I know, I'm just razzin' you.

We're pretty fluid in our house too. I've done the sole breadwinner thing; Ken's doing it now, and we've done it together.

As we discussed on another thread, comments made to working moms about not being motherly enough or SAHMs for not being productive enough are tough for women to handle - even in jest sometimes.

The Fortress
May 2nd, 2007, 01:31 PM
If she isn't going to get better in breaststroke then it's time to start doing more fly ... duh!

In dealing with about 80 11-13 year olds daily I have found most put on an act to seem cooler and more confident then they are. They all are insecure and trying to find their own way.

No kidding. I've seen adolescence turn the most secure swaggering girls into piles of insecure mush. They are definitely always trying to act cool. Hair and clothes are a big deal. I think it's really important for girls to do sports to have something else on their plate and to fill their time card. Although the swimmer boys I knew back in the day were pretty wild.

So FlyQueen, you were a good girl? :rofl:

I hated middle school too.

SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:39 PM
I know, I'm just razzin' you.

We're pretty fluid in our house too. I've done the sole breadwinner thing; Ken's doing it now, and we've done it together.

As we discussed on another thread, comments made to working moms about not being motherly enough or SAHMs for not being productive enough are tough for women to handle - even in jest sometimes.

I totally agree that is why I got irked at the twisting of my use of that word to make it appear I'd used it to catergorise the majority. It wasn't the best choice of word--but I wasn't going to be allowed a platform to explain.

I was always on the side of those called names, or judged unfairly.

am I still on your list ;)

hehe

Slowswim
May 2nd, 2007, 01:49 PM
I was a SAHD ... :bow:


I would love to be a SAHD. When my wife got pregnant, we had a short discussion on who was going to stay home. We both wanted too, but my income is higher and I have the insurance and retirement.

I am retirement eligible in 4 years so may be we will be able to switch, but by then my little baby will be in elementary school and I will have lost my chance.:(
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SwimStud
May 2nd, 2007, 01:59 PM
:bow:


I would love to be a SAHD. When my wife got pregnant, we had a short discussion on who was going to stay home. We both wanted too, but my income is higher and I have the insurance and retirement.

I am retirement eligible in 4 years so may be we will be able to switch, but by then my little baby will be in elementary school and I will have lost my chance.:(
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it was great. i got to see thngs the average guy doesn't because he is at work...like my 2 year old son exploring his freshly filled nappy (diaper) and then wiping his hands off on his hair...that was great...not.

There was a lot of fun and memories that I would have missed though if I had been at work.

FindingMyInnerFish
May 2nd, 2007, 04:58 PM
Isn't that kind of the same thing but 30 years or so apart?

What about male menopause? Truth, or convenient excuse to drive a convertable and marry a 22 year old Vegas show girl?
I just want to know how to handle it...

Ah man, it must be so tough for you! Why can't we women have a menopause where we get waited on by some young hunks and drive convertibles? Guys have all the fun! :thhbbb:

ensignada
May 2nd, 2007, 05:41 PM
I totally agree that is why I got irked at the twisting of my use of that word to make it appear I'd used it to catergorise the majority. It wasn't the best choice of word--but I wasn't going to be allowed a platform to explain.

I was always on the side of those called names, or judged unfairly.

am I still on your list ;)

hehe

And I got irked just hearing you use it and didn't really pay attention to the context. I just flamed. I know you better than to think you meant it globally, meanly or judgmentally. I'm sorry.

Wow, our first fight.

Can we kiss and make up now? :smooch:

dorothyrde
May 2nd, 2007, 06:55 PM
Amazing.

The boy is mowing.

The girl is ready on time for swim practice.

I will have a chance to swim for an hour while she practices.

All is well for one short time.:wiggle:

swim4me
May 2nd, 2007, 08:40 PM
My girl is heading off to college in August. There have been days in the past few years, that I wanted her to leave for college that day! I think those years (full of hormones and bad temper) are all to prepare us for when they finally do leave. Beth had some very wise words. I usually get caught up in my daughter's bad attitude and then forget to ask her why she is not herself. I also make her do her own laundry. If she doesn't do it, it doesn't get done. Also taking priveledges away works best when she is being unreasonable, she starts to see 'the light' quickly when she looses something she wants.

Muppet
May 2nd, 2007, 10:47 PM
Ah man, it must be so tough for you! Why can't we women have a menopause where we get waited on by some young hunks and drive convertibles? Guys have all the fun! :thhbbb:

I should open a restaurant for you... I'd be happy to put on a tux and be at your service all evening.
:wiggle: :groovy: :D

newmastersswimmer
May 3rd, 2007, 01:14 AM
I should open a restaurant for you... I'd be happy to put on a tux and be at your service all evening.
:wiggle: :groovy: :D


She said she wanted to waited on by a young "hunk" there Muppet o.k. LOL! :thhbbb:

(Yikes ....Sorry about that Jeff...I couldn't resist....and to think that you never gave me cause to start tossing puffballs your way before....one day this will all come back to haunt me LOL! )

Bork

sharkbait
May 3rd, 2007, 01:41 PM
My mother and I shared the worst years of our lives when I was a hormonal teen and she was going through menopause. We needed to put an ocean between us for a year before we got back into balance.

Not good memories.

Aargh, that must have been horrible. It's awful enough that my teenage daughter and I seem to be on the same cycle. When we're both PMSing, I feel like I'm living in Hormone Hell.

The Fortress
May 3rd, 2007, 01:46 PM
Aargh, that must have been horrible. It's awful enough that my teenage daughter and I seem to be on the same cycle. When we're both PMSing, I feel like I'm living in Hormone Hell.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I know what you mean there.

Meanwhile, at the urging of a poster, I checked my rude, hormonal ones emails earlier today. Turns out she has a crush on three different guys all on her swim team. Were we all this boy crazy?

poolraat
May 3rd, 2007, 01:51 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I know what you mean there.

Meanwhile, at the urging of a poster, I checked my rude, hormonal ones emails earlier today. Turns out she has a crush on three different guys all on her swim team. Were we all this boy crazy?



Still are aren't you?:thhbbb: :thhbbb:

I worry more about my 14yo son than his sister. He's turned into a major horndog lately. I'm going to have to lock him up. LOL

The Fortress
May 3rd, 2007, 01:57 PM
Still are aren't you?:thhbbb: :thhbbb:

I worry more about my 14yo son than his sister. He's turned into a major horndog lately. I'm going to have to lock him up. LOL

What's a horndog? Sounds bad.

My 14 year old son is not too bad, although a slob. I think he really can't see the clothes laying on the floor. Mini-Fort is going to be much worse I'm sure. She's a total FAF. Plus, she's a very extroverted, confident (so far), rebellious risk taker who I've caught blowing off rules many times. (That's why no cell phone currently.) Add that to boy crazy, and I'd like to keep her in the pool 24/7. But of course we know what that would lead to ...

Seagurl51
May 3rd, 2007, 02:10 PM
I worry more about my 14yo son than his sister. He's turned into a major horndog lately. I'm going to have to lock him up. LOL



:rofl: I think that might be the funniest thing I've ever read.



Yes, Fort we were all that boy crazy. Fact of middle school....just happens.

SwimsWithAFist
May 3rd, 2007, 02:21 PM
I worry more about my 14yo son than his sister. He's turned into a major horndog lately. I'm going to have to lock him up. LOL

Yes, but remember that when you raise a teenage son, you only have to worry about one p3n!$. When you raise a teenage daughter, you have to worry about a whole high school full of 'em. :help:

blainesapprentice
May 3rd, 2007, 02:21 PM
i think it really depends on the kid you get haha.

I would have to say--though I might be biased--that I am the much easier (if not better haha) of my parents kids, that is compared to my younger (17 yr old) brother. My brother is so smart, but refuses to do homework. I think it might be a generational thing though, because I know a lot of ppl that act similarly. Stupid teenage boys. I guess I just feared my parents wrath a little more than my brother, idk, I was always the one to want to please my parents, so I always tried my best--granted I am a much better student in College than I ever was in high school--idk what thats all about but, my brother will be lucky if he graduates on time even though he scored a nearly perfect score on his SATs in 7th grade.

never the less I don't want any daughters...maybe 1, but please no more than one.

SwimStud
May 3rd, 2007, 02:48 PM
I worry more about my 14yo son than his sister. He's turned into a major horndog lately. I'm going to have to lock him up. LOL

Gets it from his mother I suppose huh?

:thhbbb: :banana: :banana: :D

aquaFeisty
May 3rd, 2007, 06:45 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Turns out she has a crush on three different guys all on her swim team. Were we all this boy crazy?

yes

.

dorothyrde
May 3rd, 2007, 07:49 PM
My daughter is not boy crazy, which drives the boys crazy. She has broken several hearts this year, and that is just fine and dandy.

ensignada
May 3rd, 2007, 11:07 PM
Yes, but remember that when you raise a teenage son, you only have to worry about one p3n!$. When you raise a teenage daughter, you have to worry about a whole high school full of 'em. :help:


AHHHHHHHHH!

ensignada
May 3rd, 2007, 11:12 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Turns out she has a crush on three different guys all on her swim team. Were we all this boy crazy?

Yes.

Don't you remember getting all giggley with your girlfriends about this boy or that one?

The Fortress
May 3rd, 2007, 11:32 PM
Yes.

Don't you remember getting all giggley with your girlfriends about this boy or that one?

Well, as I recall, in elementary school, we had "lists" of our Top Ten boys (similar to the Top Ten lists here) and they changed every week. :rofl:

I don't remember middle school well except that I disliked it. I think I had glasses and braces and broad shoulders then. A real looker.

Then in high school, I commenced my career as a serial monogamist, which has come to a halt with with Mr. Fort -- at least until I hit menopause and have cute young hunks waiting on me and a new trophy husband (and a prenup!)

dorothyrde
May 3rd, 2007, 11:56 PM
I wanna be 19 again. My son is heading to the midnight show of Spider Man. I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go......














Cept I can't stay up that late.:snore:

islandsox
May 4th, 2007, 09:13 AM
I just had to pipe in on this. Please don't be offended, it is one person's thoughts.

Kids have too much today in the way of material things (their own cell phones, DVD players, all the gadgets) so they feel entitled. And they will whine that their friends have all of this stuff so they have to. My biggest eye-opener was when a friend of ours gave their son who graduated from high school, a brand new Jeep Cherokee. Why did they do that? Justification he needs it for college? Well, why didn't that kid work a measly summer job, save some money, and have the parents use his and their money to buy him a good used car? And why do many kids have to have $120 shoes? A rude awakening may come when they have to work for their stuff---there may not be enough money initially.

Many kids aren't learning to "earn", they expect it given to them. Why is that? Back when I was growing up, these things didn't exist so our attention was more on socialization, excelling in school, and sports. TV was a nightly treat.

My first car was a brand new 1965 Mustang that my dad gave me. But he gave it to me because years before he said that if I ever set a State swim record, he would buy me a car. I did, so he had to!!!

A child may not understand the value of items if they are freely given when asked for. I am not saying anyone here does this, but I have seen it for years from others.

As far as temperments, those are growing pains, they are finding their way, testing those waters.

SwimStud
May 4th, 2007, 09:33 AM
Donna you're so right. at least IMHO. I see so much of it too...

This is the "Age of Entitlement."

ensignada
May 4th, 2007, 11:03 AM
Want a laugh? Our next door neighbor's garage is stocked with every imaginable toy. They are always telling us that we "have" to get such and such for our daughter. Where do their kids like to play? On the swingset in my backyard and on my driveway drawing with chalk.

We see the entitlement thing all the time with my husband's students: some of them are shocked (and then angry) that they don't get great grades just for being them. Sometimes the parents get in on the act. It's scary. Some of these kids don't know how to take responsibility for themselves or their actions. My husband sat on a student life appeals board a couple of years ago (alchohol, drugs, date rape type of violations): very few students owned up that they had made a bad choice - many if not most, came up with the most outlandish excuses to escape taking responsibility.

It's one of the reasons we hammer home already to our 6 year old that actions have consequences (good and bad). It's my hope that when she makes some poor choices as she gets older, that she will take responsibility for them.

SwimStud
May 4th, 2007, 11:14 AM
Want a laugh? Our next door neighbor's garage is stocked with every imaginable toy. They are always telling us that we "have" to get such and such for our daughter. Where do their kids like to play? On the swingset in my backyard and on my driveway drawing with chalk.

We see the entitlement thing all the time with my husband's students: some of them are shocked (and then angry) that they don't get great grades just for being them. Sometimes the parents get in on the act. It's scary. Some of these kids don't know how to take responsibility for themselves or their actions. My husband sat on a student life appeals board a couple of years ago (alchohol, drugs, date rape type of violations): very few students owned up that they had made a bad choice - many if not most, came up with the most outlandish excuses to escape taking responsibility.

It's one of the reasons we hammer home already to our 6 year old that actions have consequences (good and bad). It's my hope that when she makes some poor choices as she gets older, that she will take responsibility for them.

Yup may dad warned me once. If you repeated you got a whack.

I think that is fair enough. He told me not to do it.

Seagurl51
May 4th, 2007, 12:24 PM
I wanna be 19 again. My son is heading to the midnight show of Spider Man. I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go......


Cept I can't stay up that late.:snore:


I saw it last night too. I must admit, I was a little disappointed. It'll still make a killing, I'm guessing highest grossing movie this year, but I think they tried to hard. And James Franco definatley needed more scenes without his shirt on.....

Muppet
May 4th, 2007, 06:27 PM
Donna, you have great points. I agree with you 100%.

Regarding the car, I think there are a lot of cases of entitlement - my sister was one of them, read on as to why - and I agree with you that it is a load of :mooning:. Here's my take on my situation:

My parents surprised me with one of the VW's New Beetles for my HS graduation. Mom took me to test drive it, knowing that I thought the car looked cool and that they'd probably be really fun to drive. When I got back from the test drive, she told me "Jeff, that's your car." I was speechless.

It never once occurred to me that she would do that for me. I certainly never asked for a car and honestly never asked why she did it. I made sure to shower her with Thank Yous and hugs :hug: I thanked her when I sold it and upgraded 3 1/2 years ago. in fact, I will go thank her again for it tonight ;)

I did finish my senior year with straight A's (first time ever for that) and chose a college because it was only 12 miles down the street from home - maybe that was her motivation. Who knows. She had some money and decided to share it with me because she wanted to.

Unfortulately, it laid the foundation for a regular occurrance, and with 2 more kids, an expensive regular occurrance. My sister spent the next year arguing about why she should now get one too, and then argued her way into a passat. My brother had to wait 5 years after HS for his jetta, but thats a whole other story, and I can tell you he definetely deserved every paint chip on that vehicle for all he's put up with.

CreamPuff
May 5th, 2007, 09:25 AM
Amen as well to what Donna and Muppet said regarding sense of entitlement.
I know I ceratinly had that as a kid.

Where I grew up and where I live now, it's standard (scary but true) for kids to get not only new cars but very expensive new vehicles including new convertible corvettes, hummers, etc. One of the girls who was a few years younger than I, received a new convertible corvette for her 16th birthday and not one year later flipped it and killed herself (she ran into a curb/ pole.) Tragic story. There are several other incidents regarding teens killing themselves (and in some instances their passengers) shortly after receiving new, powerful sports car.

Guess there's such a think as loving your child too much.

craiglll@yahoo.com
May 5th, 2007, 03:40 PM
Yesterday, my bosses teenage daughter called while everyone was in a program meeting. I don't go to these meetings so I get to answer the telephone. I told her where her mom was and asked if she would like to leave a voice mail. The wonderful 15 yr old said "Well of course!" as if I were the most ricidulous person inthe world. My boss has had over 75 foster children. She & her husband have adopted this girl.

Today I went to a 9th grade baseball game. The kids I was cheering for lost badly.

In July, I lost a 24 yr old ten days before his 25 th birthday. Truly teen years are the greatest.

The Fortress
May 6th, 2007, 08:55 PM
I'm soooo sorry Craig!!!

Last night, I had dinner with friends and heard the worst tale about a group of 14 year olds plotting to have a party when parents were either away on an overnight or at dinner (can't remember). Teenage girl schemes to get beer. She has an older boy with a deep voice call the liquor store and order a keg. The keg is delivered later. 14 year old girl answers the door and says just leave it. Delivery man says no; she's not 18. She says she'll go get her dad and calls upstairs. Older boy friend is upstairs and shouts down "Just leave it. I'm in the shower and I'm not getting the hell out." Deliver man leaves keg and party commences. House is trashed. No attempt to clean up. Neighbors call cops, parents eventually come home. 14 year old girls is grounded FOR THE WEEKEND. I almost died hearing that.

Her friends have some shortish groundings too. Two weekends later, grounded girl #2 calls grounded girl #1 (who had the first party and is no longer grounded) and asks her to come over because she is grounded and wants company. 14 year old girl #1 comes over. They get beer from somewhere again. Parents are out to dinner. Friends hear about the "free house." Party again. Loud. Kids peeing the backyard. Neighbors call cops. Girls all get 1-2 citations for drinking. Clearly, no lesson learned after party #1.

On another note, at what age do girls start wearing make up? Do they all wear eye liner? I seem to see a lot of eye liner these days. I'm always amazed at how they have that much time to put on make up.

SwimStud
May 6th, 2007, 08:58 PM
I'm soooo sorry Craig!!!

Last night, I had dinner with friends and heard the worst tale about a group of 14 year old plotting to have a party when parents were either away on an overnight or at dinner (can't remember). Teenage girl schemes to get beer. She has an older boy with a deep voice call the liquor store and order a keg. The keg is delivered later. 14 year old girl answers the door and says just leave it. Delivery man says no; she's not 18. She says she'll go get her dad and calls upstairs. Older boy friend is upstairs and shouts down "Just leave it. I'm in the shower and I'm not getting the hell out." Deliver man leaves keg and party commences. House is trashed. No attempt to clean up. Neighbors call cops, parents eventually come home. 14 year old girls is grounded FOR THE WEEKEND. I almost died hearing that.

Her friends have some shortish groundings too. Two weekends later, grounded girl #2 calls grounded girl #1 (who had the first party and is no longer grounded) and asks her to come over because she is grounds and wants company. 14 year old girl #1 comes over. They get beer from somewhere again. Parents are out to dinner. Friends hear about the
"free house." Party again. Loud. Kids peeing the backyard. Neighbors call cops. Girls all get 1-2 citations for drinking. Clearly, no lesson learned after party #1.

On another note, at what age do girls start wearing make up? Do they all wear eye liner? I seem to see a lot of eye liner these days. I'm always amazed at how they have that much time to put on make up.


Haha Kids and Booz = good times! Well I guess I had a beer or two with parental knowledge at 14. Then at 16 I began in earnest. At 18 I turned pro and by 21 was more or less retired except for special occasions.

dorothyrde
May 6th, 2007, 11:02 PM
I'm soooo sorry Craig!!!
On another note, at what age do girls start wearing make up? Do they all wear eye liner? I seem to see a lot of eye liner these days. I'm always amazed at how they have that much time to put on make up.

Seems like some start wearing eye make-up in 5th grade, more in middle school 6-8, and yes, black eyeliner seems to be a favorite. Luckily my 8th grader really could care less about make-up and only wears it lightly once in a while. She is like her mom.

SwimStud
May 7th, 2007, 09:41 AM
On another note, at what age do girls start wearing make up? Do they all wear eye liner? I seem to see a lot of eye liner these days. I'm always amazed at how they have that much time to put on make up.


Seems like some start wearing eye make-up in 5th grade, more in middle school 6-8, and yes, black eyeliner seems to be a favorite. Luckily my 8th grader really could care less about make-up and only wears it lightly once in a while. She is like her mom.

I expect to begin the "sanctions" stage of this conflict within a year or so...it's never your own kid but there is always one who starts pushing the envelope and thus putting pressure on ther rest to do the same...we need a bigger, far heavier envelope...

The Fortress
June 28th, 2007, 05:30 PM
I have to rant about my self-absorbed 14 year old. He just complained that I didn't plan to pick him up at track practice and chauffeur him to another destination. I told him I wanted to go my team swim practice just for once in a blue moon. His track practices this summer (no, they aren't over) are on Tues & Thurs until 7:00. My practice begins at 7:00, so I can't go. I can almost never go on Sat & Sun. am b/c of swim meets or other events. I think I'm going to have to quit my team. Makes no sense to pay for it if I can't go to practice. Haven't been in 3 weeks. Teenager didn't understand it at all. Rolling his eyes that I might want to go to my own practice instead of spending all day driving. I'm so sick of training by myself. Argh.

:dedhorse::(:frustrated::frustrated::frustrated:

Peter Cruise
June 29th, 2007, 04:39 AM
Give him a noogie...

SearayPaul
June 29th, 2007, 09:28 AM
Craig I am so sorry to read about your 24 year old. I am sure that was heart breaking for you after all of the years you had together.

Teenagers have way too many rights today. The schools have educated them that we as parents must follow certain guide lines and can not cross certain bounderies of discipline. In the teen's undeveloped mine this is perceived that they are entitled to all things good in life without regard to weather or not they have earned the privilage and without consaquinces.

We also need to look in the mirrors at ourselves as parents. Our examples and actions are watched every day by our young childern and our teenagers. They watch how we interact with others and how we behave as a family unit. Many adults behavior in public is deploarable. Our children learn from an early age that the squeeky wheel is the one that gets the attention and thus they will do anything it takes to get attention.

It is important to remember that each generation thought the kids coming up would fail in life. We all turned out Ok and so shall our kids. Our children will be the next leaders of the free world and will succed in ways we can not imagine, if they survive being teenagers.

We have more than our share of loud family discussions and removal of prized possesions and privleages from our teenagers. As they have gotten older we also see small improvements most days. We try to focus on the improvements so we can have something to cheerish as we grow old.

Last night did not see an improvement at our house. Teenage girls are so much fun as we try to get the last one off to college this fall I keep repeating to myself this to shall pass...

Guess this is a little long, sorry

swimminggirl
July 11th, 2007, 04:38 PM
Hey yall, I used to be a teenager back in the day. I'm now a responsible adult who is getting married. But, back in the day, I was a brat and, the worse teenager ever! But now, I've turned out great! I remember having parties when my parents were out for the weekend yep! I never got caught though! I turned 21 last year, and, for my 21st birthday went out and got really drunk with friends and never have had the desire for alcohol every since then.
Signed, Mastersgirl p.s. give teenagers a break I used to be one! Teenagers just want someone to listen to them! :drink::woot::applaud:

craiglll@yahoo.com
July 11th, 2007, 06:06 PM
Craig I am so sorry to read about your 24 year old. I am sure that was heart breaking for you after all of the years you had together.

Teenagers have way too many rights today. The schools have educated them that we as parents must follow certain guide lines and can not cross certain bounderies of discipline. In the teen's undeveloped mine this is perceived that they are entitled to all things good in life without regard to weather or not they have earned the privilage and without consaquinces.

We also need to look in the mirrors at ourselves as parents. Our examples and actions are watched every day by our young childern and our teenagers. They watch how we interact with others and how we behave as a family unit. Many adults behavior in public is deploarable. Our children learn from an early age that the squeeky wheel is the one that gets the attention and thus they will do anything it takes to get attention.

It is important to remember that each generation thought the kids coming up would fail in life. We all turned out Ok and so shall our kids. Our children will be the next leaders of the free world and will succed in ways we can not imagine, if they survive being teenagers.

We have more than our share of loud family discussions and removal of prized possesions and privleages from our teenagers. As they have gotten older we also see small improvements most days. We try to focus on the improvements so we can have something to cheerish as we grow old.

Last night did not see an improvement at our house. Teenage girls are so much fun as we try to get the last one off to college this fall I keep repeating to myself this to shall pass...

Guess this is a little long, sorry

I am at work doing nothing but waiting for an e-mail from my board's president so I decided ot look at what was onthe threads here. I looked onthis one t see who was complaining. Yesterday woudl have been adams 27th Birthay. I don't understand complaining about some of the insignificant things listed on this board.

Adam & I would swim together and worked out. But drugs were always so important to him. I am still amazed that parents actually only have to worry that their kids don't make their beds.

The Fortress
July 11th, 2007, 06:18 PM
I looked onthis one t see who was complaining. I don't understand complaining about some of the insignificant things listed on this board.

Between birth and death, is life. Typically, but not always, life is long and may be complicated. Sometimes, not always, the little things matter. Or they can effect the big things. It's always best to look at the big picture and count your blessings, but it's perfectly normal to want to rant once in awhile.

gull
July 13th, 2007, 01:18 PM
Funny story--the other night the phone rang at about 11 and woke me up. Now usually a phone call at that hour is bad news. It was my 16 year old daugher, which I thought was very odd since she was at home. As it turns out, she was calling me from her bedroom on her cell phone because there was a small scorpion in her doorway, and she wanted me to dispose of it (which I did). She just started talking like it was a normal conversation during waking hours.

scyfreestyler
July 13th, 2007, 01:53 PM
Funny story--the other night the phone rang at about 11 and woke me up. Now usually a phone call at that hour is bad news. It was my 16 year old daugher, which I thought was very odd since she was at home. As it turns out, she was calling me from her bedroom on her cell phone because there was a small scorpion in her doorway, and she wanted me to dispose of it (which I did). She just started talking like it was a normal conversation during waking hours.

Ah, some new creatures in the new city huh? Late night phone calls always alarm me...I can't recall one that was ever "good" news.