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SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 10:58 AM
Ok This is where we get to lovingly mock and insult our friends.
Rules:
No alias posting. Have to be in your original user ID (unless you're banned and we know who you are really :D )

No offensive material vis a vis the froum rules. racism, sexual orientation, political, religious cracks etc.

Things to make great fun of: personality quirks, accomplishments, even total fabrications, etc...but nothing malicious.

Don't post unless you expect to get some smack coming back at you.

1 victim per day. In order of posting, sorry, didn't I warn you before?

Let's try to laugh along together here, not at someone.


Lastly, I of course accept that mods will shut this thing down if they think it's wrong.

Victim #1 SwimStud, not much to mock here though.

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 11:03 AM
1 victim per day.

I don't like this rule! I'm not going to follow it. :laugh2:

You expect us to believe you actually played soccer with duck feet and warped toes from ballet?!

And how can Jane Doh expect to have 5 kids if she's so grumpy? Will she even be able to get married? :thhbbb:

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 11:49 AM
Ok This is where we get to lovingly mock and insult our friends.
Rules:
No alias posting. Have to be in your original user ID (unless you're banned and we know who you are really :D )

No offensive material vis avis the froum rules. racism, sexual orientation, political, religious cracks etc.

Things to make great fun of: rersonality quirks, accomplishments, even total fabrications, etc...but nothing malicious.

Don't post unless you expect to get some smack coming back at you.

1 victim per day.

Let's try to laugh along together here, not at someone.


Lastly, I of course accept that mods will shut this thing down if they think it's wrong.

Victim #1 SwimStud, not much to mock here though.


So how many of those pink frilly tutus do you actually own anyway Rich? LOL! :rofl:

BTW Since racial comments aren't allowed, does that mean that we can't make fun of you being British then?

Bork

SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 11:50 AM
BTW Since racial comments aren't allowed, does that mean that we can't make fun of you being British then?

Bork
I think race should be kept out of it...

Ivor
May 16th, 2007, 11:51 AM
Since racial comments aren't allowed, does that mean that we can't make fun of you being British then?

Only I am allowed to make fun of him being British.

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 11:53 AM
I think race should be kept out of it...


I didn't realize that being British was a race thing.....insn't that more of a nationality thing instead? Its kind of like saying that making fun of Americans is a race thing too IMO. But if you want me to leave out British related jokes then I will.

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 11:57 AM
So I hear it gets pretty cold in your bathroom at night eh Rich? LOL! :thhbbb:

Bork

FlyQueen
May 16th, 2007, 12:01 PM
My ancestors had the foresight to get the heck out of England a long, long, long time ago ... both sides came over on the Mayflower! Anyway, I love Rich too much to make fun of him ... he is amazing ... why would I want to pick on his thrashing (I mean fly) or his completely inappropriate DOM qualities ... he's just so loveable because of that accent and his ability to win events at state especially since he didn't actually have to race anyone ... so what if a woman can beat him in fly and free ... and back ...

SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 12:04 PM
Only I am allowed to make fun of him being British.

hey Ivor I'm a Hammers fan surely you can get a Sheff U/Wigan/Fulham/ Boro lynch mob after me LOL

Heather..All of my events hun..I'm a true Stalympian...hahaha
(disclairmer:I'm not really a state champ per se I'm sure there are faster folks in CT than me...)

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 12:05 PM
My ancestors had the foresight to get the heck out of England a long, long, long time ago ... both sides came over on the Mayflower! Anyway, I love Rich too much to make fun of him ... he is amazing ... why would I want to pick on his thrashing (I mean fly) or his completely inappropriate DOM qualities ... he's just so loveable because of that accent and his ability to win events at state especially since he didn't actually have to race anyone ... so what if a woman can beat him in fly and free ... and back ...

Yaeh....but can you splash people in the upper decks with your backststroke kick Heather? If there was a competition for height of backstroke kicking splash, then Rich would be the Olympic Gold Medalist! It must be the diamond calves that give him that extra splash power (and he builds up those calf muscles by months of continual tiling). :thhbbb: :thhbbb:

Bork

Hey here's a pic of Rich in his cheerleader tutu :cheerleader: LOL!

FindingMyInnerFish
May 16th, 2007, 12:08 PM
I think race should be kept out of it...

Only makes sense that races should not be discussed here... isn't this a NON swimming related forum? ;)

poolraat
May 16th, 2007, 12:11 PM
I think race should be kept out of it...


I disagree. I think that 50 back race video was hilarious!! :rofl: :lmao:


And Heather/FlyQueen your ancestors should have stayed on the other side of the pond. They and others ruined a perfect way of life for my people as described below:

"When white man found the land, Indians were running it.
No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free,
Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night having making love."

"White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Seagurl51
May 16th, 2007, 12:22 PM
Interesting thread idea........I'm not sure how good I'll be at roasting though....I'll think on this for a bit...

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 12:33 PM
I disagree. I think that 50 back race video was hilarious!! :rofl: :lmao: "[/FONT]


LOL! Nice one Poolraat! :rofl:


BTW When I sometimes refer to you as "Little" Richard, I'm definitely not talking about the splash from your backstroke kick o.k. Rich .....(refer to posting #7 for a better clue about that one LOL!)

Bork

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 12:36 PM
LOL! Nice one Poolraat! :rofl:


BTW When I sometimes refer to you as "Little" Richard, I'm definitely not talking about the splash from your back stroke kick o.k. Rich .....(refer to posting #7 for a better clue about that one LOL!)

Bork

So Bork, you're really taking this roasting stuff seriously. I'm more like Kyra, don't know how good I am at it.

Maybe Rich isn't really from England? Maybe it's a phoney accent? Or alias, if you will, to attrack chicks. Would he be a chick magnet without it? Eh?

poolraat
May 16th, 2007, 12:37 PM
I disagree. I think that 50 back race video was hilarious!! :rofl: :lmao:


And while we're talking about this particular race, The "dunk and push" start was priceless! :rofl: :lmao:

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 12:41 PM
So Bork, you're really taking this roasting stuff seriously. I'm more like Kyra, don't know how good I am at it.

Maybe Rich isn't really from England? Maybe it's a phoney accent? Or alias, if you will, to attrack chicks. Would he be a chick magnet without it? Eh?


Are you kidding me Les?!.....Rich Roasting day is kinda like Christmas only much more fun LOL! .....Only there might be a Bork roasting day to come....Oh well, why not live it up while you can right? LOL!

Bork

BTW Its hard for me to comment on the chick magnet thing Les....You know since I'm not exactly a chick and all LOL!

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 12:47 PM
Are you kidding me Les?!.....Rich Roasting day is kinda like Christmas only much more fun LOL! .....Only there might be a Bork roasting day to come....Oh well, why not live it up while you can right? LOL!

Bork

BTW Its hard for me to comment on the chick magnet thing Les....You know since I'm not exactly a chick and all LOL!

Rich:

I think the one with the most roasts should be roasted next. I'm sure that will be Jim.

Meanwhile, how's that drinking problem of yours coming along? Are you still racing Islandsox to see who can drink the most rum & cokes? Still ahead of Floyd?

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 12:49 PM
Rich:

I think the one with the most roasts should be roasted next. I'm sure that will be Jim.

Meanwhile, how's that drinking problem of yours coming along? Are you still racing Islandsox to see who can drink the most rum & cokes? Still ahead of Floyd?


Yaeh, but luckily it will be difficult to really come up with much decent roasting material on me....So I guess my turn wil be rather short lived then right? LOL!

smontanaro
May 16th, 2007, 12:52 PM
Ok This is where we get to lovingly mock and insult our friends.

Wait a minute. I thought that's what all the threads were for.

Skip Montanaro

aquaFeisty
May 16th, 2007, 12:56 PM
a 200 has 8 lengths...

SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 01:20 PM
Rich:

I think the one with the most roasts should be roasted next. I'm sure that will be Jim.


No Leslie, this is not the masquerade thread..they'll be no rule changes mid-way...you're next...
:dedhorse:

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 01:24 PM
[quote=The Fortress;94870]Rich:

I think the one with the most roasts should be roasted next. I'm sure that will be Jim.
[\quote]

No Leslie, this is not the masquerade thread..they'll be know rule changes mid-way...you're next...
:dedhorse:

Did you announce that rule at the start? (No, I see you didn't.) How can you keep track of rules when you can't even count to 8? And how are you going to qualify for London in 2012 if you can't count to 8 or fly on an airplane without freaking out? Or are you taking your DOM entourage to hold your hand and give you foot rubs?

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 01:41 PM
a 200 has 8 lengths...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

8 rolling on the floor laughing smilies to honor that hilarious comment Carrie!!


BTW You seem to be doing quite well with your roasting of Rich there Les! LOL! I guess you just needed a little extra motivation is all!

aquaFeisty
May 16th, 2007, 02:10 PM
I may have thrown it up there, but Fort's the one that took it and ran! Don't mess with the lawyer, folks! :D

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 03:34 PM
Don't mess with the lawyer, folks! :D


You're not supposed to roast me until tomorrow! Of course, everyone will be too obsessed with Nats to care. Then we move on to ....

SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 03:52 PM
Patience, tomorrow is but a few hours away...

geochuck
May 16th, 2007, 04:06 PM
Careful stud some things they say may be true, not just in fun.

SwimStud
May 16th, 2007, 04:07 PM
Careful stud some things they say may be true, not just in fun.

thanks for the warning George...but i'll have my turn too lol

Ivor
May 16th, 2007, 05:07 PM
hey Ivor I'm a Hammers fan

If only everyone else was aware of what a damning indictment that was on your personality.

poolraat
May 16th, 2007, 05:32 PM
Well SS, you caught a break here. I'm getting ready to leave for Nat's and not sure if I'll be able to get to a 'puter to continue this roast. I'll read all about it on Monday.

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 05:50 PM
Patience, tomorrow is but a few hours away...


Yaeh, just a few hours alright....somewhere around the same length of time it takes you to do a legal flip turn eh Rich? LOL! :lmao: :lmao: :rofl: :rofl:

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 05:52 PM
Careful stud some things they say may be true, not just in fun.


"Some" things George? LOL! :thhbbb:

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 06:24 PM
hey Ivor I'm a Hammers fan surely you can get a Sheff U/Wigan/Fulham/ Boro lynch mob after me LOL


Hey I think these two cops must be Hammers fans too then?

http://www.needlaugh.com/funnystuff/303/cops-in-ballet-outfits.html

:lmao: :lmao: :thhbbb: :thhbbb:

Bork

MOONBEAM
May 16th, 2007, 06:52 PM
Well, our Rich, SwimStud, i.e, cow with utters, he is a a great forum companion. Here is a brief history of his some of his antics:

He is a lively chap who has a liking for pink tutus and Amanda Beard. He not only can bring down airplanes with self-made hydrogen from laxative pills, he literally blows everyone out of the plane including poor Babette's daughter. He is a new swimmer who is making great progress, but seems to insist on seeing how long he can hold his breath underwater on those backstroke turns. This sure makes that last length a recovery length due to oxygen debt. He can :duel:with the best of them on forum replies, but I think he missed the Kentucky Derby whereby the Queen was entered under an alias name of Morning Line with odds 7/2. He didn't even know she was entered (shame on you). The Queen won't be Knighting Rich, but Amanda may be nighting him over on the Horror thread.

Seagurl51
May 16th, 2007, 06:59 PM
I really need to get a jab in...the day is almost over!!!


Hmmm.......This is :notworking: I need more :drink:.


There's so much to work with too...we've got the tiling which means Rich spends a lot of times on his knees at the bidding of the women.....he said British jokes were off limits, which takes a bite out of teeth jokes.....everybody's already teased him about the turns, I was too slow there, I think even Rich beat me to it.....I could make fun of the drinking, but the words will probably be blurry by this point so he couldn't read them anyway....another possibility is making fun of his DOM status, but I don't want his mistress, who is reading this so Rich doesn't have to strain himself, to be upset....I could make a joke about nicknaming me KY, but I'm afraid it'd slide right over his head....

I just don't know how to roast you, Rich. So I guess I'll just have to say that I'm a huge fan! Love you.

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 08:33 PM
O.k. guys I think I may have solved one of the deepest mysteries about Rich .....and that is the mysterious connection between his well known DOM status here and his bizzarre affection for ballet? Well I think the following hilarious video spells it out better than I can: (but you have to scroll down a little bit before you get to the "He Takes Ballet Classes" video.....warning though....it may be a tad risque?...so please don't watch it if you think that it may offend you!):

http://www.agilous.com/view/Videos/Commercials/He-takes-ballet-classes/

Bork :groovy: :groovy: :banana: :banana: :groovy: :groovy: :thhbbb:

Peter Cruise
May 16th, 2007, 09:04 PM
Oh cyborg one- so what's wrong with ballet? The Northern Threat aka Biblioman took a total of eight years of ballet, along with jazz dance, afro-brazilian and actually performed in a couple of musicals. What of it?

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 09:36 PM
Oh cyborg one- so what's wrong with ballet? The Northern Threat aka Biblioman took a total of eight years of ballet, along with jazz dance, afro-brazilian and actually performed in a couple of musicals. What of it?


Yaeh...but did you also have a subscription to Interpretive Dance Quarterly like Squidward from SpongeBob? I just wanted to solve the mysterious link between Rich's well documented DOM qualities and his affection for ballet.....trying to establish this connection is not necessarily a slam on ballet...nor a slam on being a DOM for that matter.

Bork

BTW You didn't also have a pink tutu though did you? LOL! :rofl:

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 10:30 PM
What of it?

This is just further confirmation that dancers are evilstrokers. No dance for me, total klutz, but I can swim the other three strokes. On the upside, you make good conversationalists and friends. Wait a minute, I'm supposed to be roasting Rich before it's too late. On the other hand, there appears to be a correlation between dance-evilstroke-DOM-posing in playboy.

No one has made anything up about Rich's past yet. That's bang out of order. Once upon a time, Rich aka SwimStud aka DOM grew up in Brooklyn next to Chaos Barra. They were BFFs. They were shy youths, bullied in school and shunned by the Queen Bees and FAFs. They grew facial hair and tried to schmooze the chicks, with little success. They had no success on the athletic field either (although we may truthfully concede that Dave is now studly and Rich is an evilstroker). Dave, in despair, found yoga and TI. Rich fled the land of rampant materialism for new stomping grounds. He flew to England on valium, settled in Bayswater, attended LSE, became overeducated and developed a fairly convincing British accent. He romanced all the landed female gentry of England, desperately hoping to become a trophy husband and hunt pheasant. But after using him, said female heiresses discarded him with great pride and prejudice. Several decades passed ... in London pubs ... with fish and chips laden with TFs. Dismayed, Rich decided to return to Brooklyn and study dancing. But, having given up his anorexic habits with all the wining and dining, he just couldn't do it. Long story short, he met Ms. Stud and gave her hallucinations with foot rubs. During one such hallucintation, she married him at the Belagio. Is this the horror flick thread?

And Kyra, you're not his "mistress." You're his forum trophy wife. It'll be time to roast you soon, you amazing neo-pagan.

P.S. Oh Peter, after a short vaca, I'm on in the somewhat wee hours. :bouncing:

fanstone
May 16th, 2007, 10:30 PM
Rich's football team in England was prevented from moving down to the second division, by a derelict, former player in a crummy brazilian team, and Argentinian, Carlito Tevez. Instead of being an Arsenal fan, or even Chelsea, he is a fan of the much maligned West Ham...He does not have the strengh to cut his grass with a push mower (like he did in England) and uses a fancy tractor, now that he is in the fashionable East Coast...billy fanstone

Peter Cruise
May 16th, 2007, 11:03 PM
Rich was unceremoniously hustled out of England by his slight misunderstanding of aristocratic privilege by insisting on hunting peasants, rather than pheasants. There was also some suggestion that he was the real cause of the estrangement between Lady Di and Prince Charles.


No pink tutu, Borkimundo, But I did take it quite seriously for a time.

The Fortress
May 16th, 2007, 11:09 PM
Rich was unceremoniously hustled out of England by his slight misunderstanding of aristocratic privilege by insisting on hunting peasants, rather than pheasants. There was also some suggestion that he was the real cause of the estrangement between Lady Di and Prince Charles.


I'm not sure Stud would consider the above-referenced comment regarding Lady Di and Prince Charles to be "roasting" ... In any event, I don't think he would have been entranced with romancing former Sloan Rangers. Now, had it been Kate Moss or David Beckham & Posh ... The paternity of Kate's child is still in doubt ...

newmastersswimmer
May 16th, 2007, 11:42 PM
Rich's football team in England was prevented from moving down to the second division, by a derelict, former player in a crummy brazilian team, and Argentinian, Carlito Tevez. Instead of being an Arsenal fan, or even Chelsea, he is a fan of the much maligned West Ham...He does not have the strengh to cut his grass with a push mower (like he did in England) and uses a fancy tractor, now that he is in the fashionable East Coast...billy fanstone

Actually Billy I was thinking that the big tractor he uses to mow his yard could actually be a Fruedean clue of some kind of some psychological need to compensate for something else perhaps? But hey I'm know psychoanalyst now am I? LOL! :D

Bork

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 07:57 AM
Well it's all behind me now. Yes Jim Ballet was not quite like that though it was a high girl to guy ratio and we had our fun.

Any way Leslie is getting roasted today...there was som very funny digs at me in there too...v funny.

So Leslie How are your Shoulders? Still sore from all that sloppy fly?

Peter Cruise
May 17th, 2007, 09:42 AM
She may still be getting over the finger strain of maintaining 362 aliases in the late masquerade thread while picking off others' with the avidity of an olympic target shooter. Perhaps she was switching identities while at the dinner table....

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 09:54 AM
It's that Peter, or her overdeveloped legs from all the MonoFin work slamming her into the water faster than her shoulders can handle...

The Fortress
May 17th, 2007, 09:55 AM
She may still be getting over the finger strain of maintaining 362 aliases in the late masquerade thread while picking off others' with the avidity of an olympic target shooter. Perhaps she was switching identities while at the dinner table....

Only 362? You don't give me enought credit, Peter.

Rich:

My shoulders are only a little twingey from not doing enough RC stuff lately. Trying to reverse the laziness trend by overtraining the last couple days. I haven't done any fly, much less sloppy fly, so I'm good there. Getting more prolo next week. Going to make fun of my jabs? :duel: :coffee: I knew you'd get around to the thighs. So predictable. It's the running baby! And weights and squats. If you did some of those, your flip turns and starts would improve. (This statement is not a roast; it is a fact.)

poolraat
May 17th, 2007, 10:57 AM
Are we roasting the Fort today? I understand she's using a nose clip now. What's next? Earplugs, a flowery cap and a noodle? :rofl:

fanstone
May 17th, 2007, 11:27 AM
Her legs are just fine, believe me! She is slightly jealous because she wasn't called to do a pictorial, as was Amanda Beard. She is glad she can swim and run outside now, let's wait for July, when her local temps will be in the 110 range. billy fanstone

The Fortress
May 17th, 2007, 11:38 AM
Her legs are just fine, believe me! She is slightly jealous because she wasn't called to do a pictorial, as was Amanda Beard. She is glad she can swim and run outside now, let's wait for July, when her local temps will be in the 110 range. billy fanstone

I'm burning up with envy ... :rofl: I run in July. Just not very often. It is way too hot!

What, no breaststroke jokes yet? I'm coming right out and saying that, when I was a wee 12 year old, I momentarily held the team records in the 50 and 100 breaststroke. :rofl: (36 in the 50, 1974). Then my sister broke them the next year. She has better legs and those whacky duck feet.

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 11:56 AM
Your sister is also the good well mannered one.
Leslie can't be bothered to pic up the phone to call her sister...too busy managin her NSAID and Prolo addicitons!

The Fortress
May 17th, 2007, 12:41 PM
Your sister is also the good well mannered one.
Leslie can't be bothered to pic up the phone to call her sister...too busy managin her NSAID and Prolo addicitons!

Manners are not my fort-e.

Do you think Jim is getting nervous?

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 12:44 PM
Manners are not my fort-e.

Do you think Jim is getting nervous?

Jim is obviously trying to maintain a low profile and get offf lightly tomorrow...

newmastersswimmer
May 17th, 2007, 12:49 PM
Manners are not my fort-e.

Do you think Jim is getting nervous?


Not really nervous....I mean everyday is Roast Rich day IMO! LOL! I'm sure though that the posters will be coming out of the woodwork to roast me when my time comes though! Where was Barb, Kari, Dana, Beth, Kathy, Mollie, and Karen during Roast Rich day? That was the weakest roast imaginable!! ....And Kyra, Donna, and Heather's roasting comments barely count IMO anyway! Weak girls...very weak!! :thhbbb: :thhbbb:

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 17th, 2007, 12:52 PM
Jim is obviously trying to maintain a low profile and get offf lightly tomorrow...


Get off lightly?? ......You got to be kidding!.....Looks who's calling the kettle black!! You had the weakest excuse for a roast in the entire history of roasting!!

Bork

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 01:04 PM
Get off lightly?? ......You got to be kidding!.....Looks who's calling the kettle black!! You had the weakest excuse for a roast in the entire history of roasting!!

Bork

Look, everyone know's that I'm cute and lovable...even Geek will admit that ....

aquaFeisty
May 17th, 2007, 02:00 PM
Leslie had a rough childhood growing up. Forced to repeatedly swim breaststroke and distance free in practice as an age-grouper and collegiate, upon re-starting her swimming career at the ripe age of 44 she vowed, "Never again shall I do the duckfoot stroke (well, unless it's a means to get to free in a 100 IM)! Never again shall I swim an event longer than 4 laps... or 2 in a long course pool! In fact, I shall endure more than 30 needle pokes at a time just so that I can fly through the water (but only for 50 yds or less)..."

However, Leslie could not forget her fond memories of breaststroke greatness. She married another fitness freak in the hopes of producing uber-stud breaststroking children. Child #1 was a failure... he has grown to only be a state champion record-breaking cross country runner, triathlete, and track & field star. Child #3 is still too young to tell. Child #2 has potential, but having inherited her mother's crazy willful streak and raging hormones is currently more interested in boys than the pool. OMG POS GTG!

So while waiting out Child #3 unproven potential, Leslie sits at home, intentionally shoving May-time pollen up her nose so she can blame her allergies for her ridiculously slow meet seed times. In reality, we all know that she really likes the sparkly star stickers that they hand out to heat winners at GMU.

FlyQueen
May 17th, 2007, 02:15 PM
Leslie is so enamored of TI that she feels the need to constantly bash it and it's loudest rep. She sought out said rep for private lessons which were conducted at Moonbeam's abode while sipping Monkey LaLas. Leslie is now carrying a very secret and torrid affair with MR TI. This is the true source of her mommy guilt. She has many an alias including one which may or may not have the initials GR or RG. She is not even able to make her own children swim #1 runs, #2 an evilstroker wants to quit, perhaps actually showing her intelligence at not wanting to swim that evil stroke any longer and #3 is too cute to tell ... she must be off getting jabbed by needles and no doubt rear ended for the 9th time this year, has her insurance company caught on yet?

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 02:23 PM
Fortress was also sadly disillusioned to find out that her prolotherapist is jabbing her with 30 needles. She thought they said noodles, which of course is not problem for her as she spends much time in the "Open Swim" section with her own noodle and water dumbells, floral cap, and noseplug!

tjburk
May 17th, 2007, 02:53 PM
Don't forget her water wings!!!!!!:doh:

newmastersswimmer
May 17th, 2007, 03:24 PM
Sorry I'm jut now chiming in.....I've been busy trying to figure out which takes longer.....One of Rich's backstroke turns or one of Leslie's gliding backstroke finishes....Its really kind of a toss up though....The only thing I know for sure is that both of these are slower than the time it takes me to mow my entire lawn (and I use a push mower not some stinkin tractor o.k.!!)

Bork

P.s. Sorry. I apparently don't know how to make a roasting comment of any kind without including some part that is directed at Sir Richie Rich! LOL! I hope this is still within the rules now?

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 03:31 PM
Sorry I'm jut now chiming in.....I've been busy trying to figure out which takes longer.....One of Rich's backstroke turns or one of Leslie's gliding backstroke finishes....Its really kind of a toss up though....The only thing I know for sure is that both of these are slower than the time it takes me to mow my lawn (and I use a push mower not some stinkin tractor o.k.!!)

Bork

P.s. Sorry. I apparently don't know how to make a roasting comment of any kind without including some part that is directed at Sir Richie Rich! LOL! I hope this is still within the rules now?

Since you're up next Jimbo we'll let it go..besides I've got to think of lots of farmyard animal cracks to make at you in the morning!

newmastersswimmer
May 17th, 2007, 03:53 PM
Since you're up next Jimbo we'll let it go..besides I've got to think of lots of farmyard animal cracks to make at you in the morning!


Well hows this one (killing 3 birds with one stone) then:....Now I'm trying to figure out which takes longer between listing all of Leslie's aliases on the Masquerade Ball thread, successfuly reading through an entire paragraph of Peter's purple prose, or the time it takes for Rich to tile all the floors of the Taj Mahal ....Right now it looks like another toss up LOL! :rofl: :lmao:

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 17th, 2007, 05:28 PM
Sticking with the comparing theme: I've now focused my attention on trying to figure out which is larger:......the total number of handbags in Leslie's handbag repertoire or the average number of syllables in a single word of Peter's Purple Prose? LOL!! :thhbbb: :thhbbb: :lmao:

Bork

The Fortress
May 17th, 2007, 05:48 PM
Leslie is so enamored of TI that she feels the need to constantly bash it and it's loudest rep. She sought out said rep for private lessons which were conducted at Moonbeam's abode while sipping Monkey LaLas. Leslie is now carrying a very secret and torrid affair with MR TI. This is the true source of her mommy guilt. She has many an alias including one which may or may not have the initials GR or RG. She is not even able to make her own children swim #1 runs, #2 an evilstroker wants to quit, perhaps actually showing her intelligence at not wanting to swim that evil stroke any longer and #3 is too cute to tell ... she must be off getting jabbed by needles and no doubt rear ended for the 9th time this year, has her insurance company caught on yet?

Wait a minute! (Jerry Seinfeld voice) I'll confess to an email affair with Mr. TI and to liking sparkly stickers. :lmao:

But I'm not owning up to RG. You should have used that zing on day one of the roast. Misfire. Can't wait till your day, FlyQueen/ClothesSnob. :thhbbb:

SwimStud
May 17th, 2007, 10:36 PM
...does everyone know about Leslie being the first blonde to go to London School of Economics??

Apparently this is a true story...albeit she just got lost on the way to Harrod's to buy pair of baggy pants and a shirt with oversized shoulders...

true you know...

Power is back! MUWHAHAHAHAHA

The Fortress
May 17th, 2007, 11:27 PM
...does everyone know about Leslie being the first blonde to go to London School of Economics??

Apparently this is a true story...albeit she just got lost on the way to Harrod's to buy pair of baggy pants and a shirt with oversized shoulders...

true you know...

Power is back! MUWHAHAHAHAHA

It's too late, Rich. Only another 35 minutes before it's Jim's turn ... I'm sure there were other blondes at LSE. You've no doubt gotten a room with them.

Where's Jim? Oh yes, he's not a nightowl. You snooze, you lose. We can have at him ... :duel:

I wonder if, in preparing to vanquish his rival, Jim is weighing himself to the tenth of a pound? And, in this vein, is he laying off the TFs? Or is he unable to resist them, rationalizing that he is, after all, spinning?

SwimStud
May 18th, 2007, 08:07 AM
Spinning the wool he ripped out of his lover's fleece in the heat of passion.
Jim Bork: Math whiz, Swimmer, Friend to Sheep everywhere...

The Fortress
May 18th, 2007, 09:00 AM
Spinning the wool he ripped out of his lover's fleece in the heat of passion.
Jim Bork: Math whiz, Swimmer, Friend to Sheep everywhere...

Do you think he's busy playing on line chess or doing his sudoku this morning? Or perhaps trying on Math Geek costumes for his trip down to Disney World next month? I wonder if he'll visit Universal Studios so he can go on the Jimmy Neutron ride?

SwimStud
May 18th, 2007, 09:03 AM
Do you think he's busy playing on line chess or doing his sudoku this morning? Or perhaps trying on Math Geek costumes for his trip down to Disney World next month? I wonder if he'll visit Universal Studios so he can go on the Jimmy Neutron ride?


Well he never usually need an excuse to wear his Speedo briefs on the outside of his stockings!

The Fortress
May 18th, 2007, 09:11 AM
Well he never usually need an excuse to wear his Speedo breifs on the outside of his stockings!

Does he really even own a speedo brief though? Who would know? He never goes to meets ...

I'm also wondering how long it takes him to actually get on the pool deck when he's got to cart along that belly and Babette? I think it might take him longer than our patented backstroke turns and backstroke finishes, don't you think?

ensignada
May 18th, 2007, 09:16 AM
Sorry I'm late to the party.

Jim's turn, huh?

I noticed he's not on-line right now. He's probably off "doing research." That's what professors tell people they're doing when they're supposed to be doing something else.

ensignada
May 18th, 2007, 09:18 AM
Allow me to catch up.

I was surprised that Rich suggested a "roast". I'd've thought a "ham" would be more his speed.

Peter Cruise
May 18th, 2007, 09:37 AM
The Bork requires uninterrupted downtime each day to temporally reintegrate with the Borkian communal mind in the far future to report on the progress of his galactic conspiracy and as well, dish on the latest gossip from the NSR forums. His latest report indicated that someone had tumbled onto their transfats gambit; they are considering new, improved chemicals to turn us all into buckets of lard, thnerefore incapable of joining the Federation of Planets.

MOONBEAM
May 18th, 2007, 09:38 AM
Here is what I was going to post yesterday, but our internet has been out for 24 hours.


Oh, goodie, it's Leslie's turn, she has gone to the front of the line. Nothing better than roasting friends.
Having been well-trained in the gift of gab and this :argue: Leslie is too fast for her own britches.

Leslie is so fast that: she posts replies to my PMs before I write them.
Leslie is so fast that: she posts replies before the thread is started.
Leslie is so fast that: she drafts off of herself.
Leslie is so fast that: she is known to be a Server's worst enemy.
Leslie is so fast that: she finishes swim races before they start.
Leslie is so fast that: she secretly wants to win a 50 breaststroke but not talking prevents this.
Leslie is so fast that: she is everywhere all at the same time.
Leslie is so fast that: I told her I was Nightstand early on and she blew by it..
Leslie is so fast that: her brain processes info in bytes; we get it in pixels.

And finally, Leslie is so fast that even though I'd love to spend a day with her, I'd need a Texas Reststop to get through the day.


(We only roast those we love!)
Donna

The Fortress
May 18th, 2007, 09:42 AM
Here is what I was going to post yesterday, but our internet has been out for 24 hours.

And finally, Leslie is so fast that even though I'd love to spend a day with her, I'd need a Texas Reststop to get through the day. Donna

Donna, I don't know what you're talking about ... I think you just described Mini-Fort. I have to go watch her do some ultra-boring LC evilstroke at an actual swim meet very shortly. Anyway to to get through that torture a bit faster?

P.S. I also caught Jim saying "ok lol" in his first post as Trickstar and then promptly forget he was Trickstar. My brain must be distintegrating under NSR strain.

MOONBEAM
May 18th, 2007, 09:58 AM
Not really nervous....I mean everyday is Roast Rich day IMO! LOL! I'm sure though that the posters will be coming out of the woodwork to roast me when my time comes though! Where was Barb, Kari, Dana, Beth, Kathy, Mollie, and Karen during Roast Rich day? That was the weakest roast imaginable!! ....And Kyra, Donna, and Heather's roasting comments barely count IMO anyway! Weak girls...very weak!! :thhbbb: :thhbbb:

Bork

Now them are fightin words. I'm trying to behave, remember? I see it is your turn today big mouth!

newmastersswimmer
May 18th, 2007, 12:58 PM
Now them are fightin words. I'm trying to behave, remember? I see it is your turn today big mouth!


You must be referring to someone else right? LOL! Actually your roast of Rich was very funny Donna!....So I officially retract that comment for you (see I'm not really that bad of a guy now).....You guys just seemed to have taken it a little easy on the Richster was my point there....but I realize that you women can't slam on Rich too hard now because he has bewitched all of the women here with his British charms LOL!

newmastersswimmer
May 18th, 2007, 01:00 PM
Do you think he's busy playing on line chess or doing his sudoku this morning? Or perhaps trying on Math Geek costumes for his trip down to Disney World next month? I wonder if he'll visit Universal Studios so he can go on the Jimmy Neutron ride?


There's a Jimmy Nuetron ride? How cool is that!

SwimStud
May 18th, 2007, 02:02 PM
Jim Borkowski AKA Borky

Know for long sentences and overuse of "OK...lol" to punctuate. Let's not be harsh though....be grateful he only teaches Maths!

;)

aquaFeisty
May 18th, 2007, 03:23 PM
Hey Guys, let's not all pick on the Bork so hard..... he is just j/k, you know! Right?! LOL! Math professors have trouble writing, o.k.? ..... Just j/k, of course, if anyone reading out there is a math professor b/c wouldn't want to offend, o.k.? LOL!

But anyway......

As we all know, our Bork has difficulty with the women. Even with 4 personas (himself, FlowerPower, BongBoy, and Trickstar) he was unable to obtain a date to the masqerade ball, or even, heck a person to sit with on the way there. In fact, in real life the Bork had to resort to drastic measures to obtain his Missus. The Bork took a job at Dominos pizza in his youth. Starting as a box-builder, he eventually worked his way up to sauce stirrer and even the coveted pepperoni placer. One day, a vision of beauty entered the storefront and joined the Dominos team. Despite momentary jealousy (she started out answering the phone, two spots ABOVE pepperoni placer), Bork went to bat right away and asked the fair lady on an evening out. Struck momentarily brain-dead by the wonderous odors of Supreme Pizza, she agreed to date the Bork. Bork, sensing that this was a true lucky break in his otherwise abysmal track record, knocked the poor lady over the head with a 2 liter bottle of diet pepsi and dragged her off to Vegas. By the time she came to, she was a Mrs. Bork. Beware of your Dominos delivery boys, ladies!

Just j/k Jim, o.k.? LOL!

tjburk
May 18th, 2007, 03:27 PM
I heard through the Grapevine that when he was younger his mom and dad had to put a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him!!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Just j/k Jim, o.k.? LOL!

SwimStud
May 18th, 2007, 03:42 PM
I heard through the Grapevine that when he was younger his mom and dad had to put a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him!!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Just j/k Jim, o.k.? LOL!


NOW THAT IS HILARIOUS!!:rofl: :rofl:

newmastersswimmer
May 18th, 2007, 04:00 PM
Hey Guys, let's not all pick on the Bork so hard..... he is just j/k, you know! Right?! LOL! Math professors have trouble writing, o.k.? ..... Just j/k, of course, if anyone reading out there is a math professor b/c wouldn't want to offend, o.k.? LOL!

But anyway......

As we all know, our Bork has difficulty with the women. Even with 4 personas (himself, FlowerPower, BongBoy, and Trickstar) he was unable to obtain a date to the masqerade ball, or even, heck a person to sit with on the way there. In fact, in real life the Bork had to resort to drastic measures to obtain his Missus. The Bork took a job at Dominos pizza in his youth. Starting as a box-builder, he eventually worked his way up to sauce stirrer and even the coveted pepperoni placer. One day, a vision of beauty entered the storefront and joined the Dominos team. Despite momentary jealousy (she started out answering the phone, two spots ABOVE pepperoni placer), Bork went to bat right away and asked the fair lady on an evening out. Struck momentarily brain-dead by the wonderous odors of Supreme Pizza, she agreed to date the Bork. Bork, sensing that this was a true lucky break in his otherwise abysmal track record, knocked the poor lady over the head with a 2 liter bottle of diet pepsi and dragged her off to Vegas. By the time she came to, she was a Mrs. Bork. Beware of your Dominos delivery boys, ladies!

Just j/k Jim, o.k.? LOL!


LOL! I have to give you your due props Carrie! That was pretty funny....especially the little writing imitation...o.k. LOL! (just j/k though...or am I LOL!).....Anyway as far as the exact method I used to persuade the Mrs. to marry me.....well lets just say that your story may not be that far off base ...o.k. LOL!

Bork

tjburk
May 18th, 2007, 04:05 PM
I hear ya Jim.........chemicals can help the process too!!!!:rofl: :rofl:

newmastersswimmer
May 18th, 2007, 04:11 PM
I hear ya Jim.........chemicals can help the process too!!!!:rofl: :rofl:


Well, how do you think I ended up working at a pizza joint anyway? ......I guess I got the munchies a lot ....o.k. LOL! ...and then again, the Mrs. was also attracted to the same kind of job,...but of course that was just a big coincidence! :D

Bork

Slowswim
May 18th, 2007, 08:46 PM
Q: How do you get someone who graduated with a math degree off your front porch?

A: Pay for the pizza.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ensignada
May 18th, 2007, 09:36 PM
Q: How do you get someone who graduated with a math degree off your front porch?

A: Pay for the pizza.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Very good, Bill. I'm borrowing that one.

Slowswim
May 18th, 2007, 09:43 PM
Oh Pleez, be my guest.:cheerleader:

tjburk
May 18th, 2007, 10:47 PM
Very good one Bill!!!!!

The other thing I heard about the Borkster was:

When he was young he was so ugly he scared all of his brothers, sisters and friends at the dinner table....so mom and dad had him sit at a table in the corner by himself and fed him with a slingshot! :rofl: :rofl: :lmao: :lmao:

SwimStud
May 19th, 2007, 12:04 AM
And now Ivor is the next victim...

ensignada
May 19th, 2007, 08:28 AM
Ah, Ivor. Man of wit, mystery and the never changing avatar.

SwimStud
May 19th, 2007, 09:23 AM
Seem from the avatar that he's never washing or shaving too...tehn again that's North Londoners for you...undoubtedly he's a Man Utd fan...being from London.

newmastersswimmer
May 19th, 2007, 12:56 PM
Very good one Bill!!!!!

The other thing I heard about the Borkster was:

When he was young he was so ugly he scared all of his brothers, sisters and friends at the dinner table....so mom and dad had him sit at a table in the corner by himself and fed him with a slingshot! :rofl: :rofl: :lmao: :lmao:


Last time I confide in you with my family secrets Tracy!! LOL! :rofl:

BTW I enjoyed reading your roastings guys! Thanks.....especially to Carrie who I have to give first prize in the Bork roasting category!...o.k. LOL! :rofl:

Bork


P.S. Now I am going to focus on what to use as roasting material on our other British forum member....our beloved Ivor. I will get back with you on that one LOL!

newmastersswimmer
May 19th, 2007, 01:35 PM
Seem from the avatar that he's never washing or shaving too...tehn again that's North Londoners for you...undoubtedly he's a Man Utd fan...being from London.


Speaking of Ivor's avatar.....To say he looks a bit rough would be a slight understatement don't you think?....I mean he makes Kieth Richards look well groomed....batta Bing....thank you ...thank you

Another thing about Ivor's avatar....The guy is messing with my head big time with this random timer that sends up the peace sign....the first time I saw it I thought I was having another flashback! Evil Ivor.....very Evil.....(just j/k now....o.k. LOL!)

Bork

MOONBEAM
May 19th, 2007, 08:26 PM
And now Ivor is the next victim...

I know I've seen Ivor somewhere before, that avatar has been around. I know, it was on the Interpol poster in the post office. Ivor, the Land of the Wanted and Unwanted? And he's not in England, he lives down here on the beach, I've seen him, I swear I have but he goes by the name of Phil who eats lots of fish and chips and is always telling intragalatic stories to the ladies. Fess up, Ivor. And I have to ask, do you put that beard of yours in a cap or does it also serve as a pair of goggles?

SwimStud
May 20th, 2007, 12:02 AM
Time for a spot of Roasted FlyQueen!

Seagurl51
May 20th, 2007, 12:40 AM
Time for a spot of Roasted FlyQueen!

Oh we get to roast FlyQueen!!! I'll be all over that tomorrow...gotta sleep on this...........

SwimStud
May 20th, 2007, 09:45 AM
FlyQueen...
Not tall enough to make the grade as a long axis swimmer...decided to focus on Butterfly after discovering she lacked the grace to perform Breaststroke efficiently.

Dabbled with Gymnastics briefly but went back to swimming after and unfortunate accident with a vaulting horse...apparently it seems she discovered the hard way that flip turns are not performed the same way in gymnastics...

geochuck
May 20th, 2007, 10:46 AM
I put a search in google for a SwimStud Video this is what I got http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4cmrMJul1g

ensignada
May 20th, 2007, 11:40 AM
I put a search in google for a SwimStud Video this is what I got http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4cmrMJul1g

:lmao:

Rich has come a long way, hasn't he?

newmastersswimmer
May 20th, 2007, 09:24 PM
hey Ivor I'm a Hammers fan surely you can get a Sheff U/Wigan/Fulham/ Boro lynch mob after me LOL

Heather..All of my events hun..I'm a true Stalympian...hahaha
(disclairmer:I'm not really a state champ per se I'm sure there are faster folks in CT than me...)


Well Rich, as bad as being a Hammers fan may be.......I can think of something for worse......Its so incriminating that I will have to whisper it too you...so get in close for this one and try not to laugh to hard when you hear it......pssst....Heather is a Cubs fan LOL!!.....:lmao: :lmao: :rofl: :rofl:

Actually Heather is a totally "fabulous" person....and her and Kyra make a totally "amazing" duo! (just j/k now girls....no offense taken I hope...o.k. LOL!)......I had to end with my typical parenthetical comments now! :lmao:


Bork :groovy: :banana: :banana: :groovy:

Seagurl51
May 20th, 2007, 09:55 PM
I really wanna roast Heather, but I'm a little afraid. She's a pretty built little thing. She might try to hit me in the head and knock some sense into me, but I bet if I stood up she couldn't reach me....or I could run throw a small hole and she'd get stuck at her shoulders. I would invite her down to Texas to party with me, but I kinda want to have a chance at some UT boys and I wouldn't want my sis jumpin' all of them before I even meet them. I can see her now making out with my future husband in the corner. I'm sure I could make a joke about fly, but I don't want to get beaned in the head with a rogue arm as she swims past me while I'm practicing the most beautiful breaststroke.

Happy Roast!!!!

Peter Cruise
May 21st, 2007, 01:25 AM
She's a cranky butterflier, no time for fun, we just do the serious strokes here, you kids get back to work now, or she'll harangue you about the evils of that communistic breastroke again...

SwimStud
May 21st, 2007, 08:20 AM
Today's Victim...(perhaps this one should be a fry rather than a roast?)
FindingMyInnerFish (http://forums.usms.org/member.php?u=3334)

We're keeping the roast open on Heather since she caught the day everyone was travelling home from Nats...

The Fortress
May 21st, 2007, 10:00 AM
She's a cranky butterflier, no time for fun, we just do the serious strokes here, you kids get back to work now, or she'll harangue you about the evils of that communistic breastroke again...

Yet another man apparently scared off by a strong female. (Oops not Biblioman's roast day ...)

Heather is recovering from an intense weekend of partying. Being beautiful as well as ballsy, Heather was the life of a bachelorette party, capturing the attention of every man in the room. Every man in the room also bought her drinks and shots. So, again, as in her wild child past, she was table-dancing in her mini-dress showing off her long legs and broad shoulders. (Stud and Bork, sadly, missed the festivities and were left to lust in their hearts in a DOM way.) Heather's friends, disgusted that she received all the male attention, left her asleep at said bar and went home in their cabs. When Heather awakened, she downed a gallon of coffee and hussled off to her day job teaching impressionable young children. Today's lesson: FAF 101. How to whack evilstrokers over the head, drop kick arrogant men, and flirt with cute UT studs. Tomorrow: Clothes shopping 101. Avoid Old Navy and head to Niemans. Tonight: Heather will attend practice in her Pool Princess cap and new Flip Turn suit. But which one of the several hundred suits in her closet will she choose?

The Fortress
May 21st, 2007, 10:15 AM
Today's Victim...(perhaps this one should be a fry rather than a roast?)
FindingMyInnerFish (http://forums.usms.org/member.php?u=3334)

FindingMyInnerFish is on a constant quest. Where is the effen fish? Is the fish in the ocean? No, too obvious. Is the fish running? Well, sometimes, but that's what the BF does with a flashlight on his head. Is the fish writing? Yes, but that's not athletically fulfilling and even the 3 word story thread can become boring. Is the fish partying? Well, yes, this fish is a real fish. She and Heather could drink anyone under the table. Oh, they already did that ... Is the fish :duel: No, that's not spiritual and she holds no grudges. So, the fish decides to meditate instead. After days of chanting and soul searching, which an FAF would never do, she finally takes action. FMIF hops on a plane to visit Islandsox. She has all her wine confiscated by customs and her bags are lost en route. Undeterred, FMIF and Isox drink MonkeyLaLas and watch the sunset and rhapsodize about how wonderful it will be to get stung by jelly fish and get sea lice in their hair the next day ...

geochuck
May 21st, 2007, 01:24 PM
I am amazed that Swim Stud did not comment on my google video of his swim workout??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4cmrMJul1g

SwimStud
May 21st, 2007, 01:28 PM
I am amazed that Swim Stud did not comment on my google video of his swim workout??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4cmrMJul1g


What's to say George...I didn't realise they had hidden cameras there!

I did laugh...I like Mr Bean...although his Christmas special was a particular favourite of mine...

aquaFeisty
May 21st, 2007, 03:46 PM
there should be a rule about no roasts on weekends. I can't keep up with the forums on the weekends...

sooooo... since I missed it yesterday:

Heather, aka Flyqueen,
Poor Flyqueen has not yet figured out that school teachers are not the highest paid and thus barters dolphin kick and gymnastics advice for designer clothes (no Old Navy for her, thank you very much!) While waiting for AP to drop everything, whisk her away and marry her, she was forced to sleep on (gasp!) K-Mart sheets! She eventually went 14 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day without sleep until she found her coveted designer (Calvin Klein) bedding set. But her snobbery does not stop there! Heather attempted to move back home for a brief period of time following school, but her parents drew the line when Heather proposed a 400 sq ft addition to the Howland homestead for her designer handbag and shoe collection.

In an attempt to psyche out the competition at IL States, Heather totalled her car the day before the meet. Swimmers heard her bellow, "Watch me girls! Even sore from my accident, I'll still whup you in the 100 fly!" Alas, it was indeed a 100 yd fly, not the smokin' fast 90 yd fly that Flyqueen completed. We all wait for next year's final 10 yds at Austin!

newmastersswimmer
May 21st, 2007, 09:24 PM
I propose that we continue the roast of FindingMyInnerFish tommorrow since today is still a wind down day from yesterday's big travel day for swimmers who attended Nationals....(and I am still thinking about what I want to say in my roast....perhaps I still need to find my innerfish first?).....Are you o.k. with that proposal Rich?

Bork

SwimStud
May 21st, 2007, 10:34 PM
I propose that we continue the roast of FindingMyInnerFish tommorrow since today is still a wind down day from yesterday's big travel day for swimmers who attended Nationals....(and I am still thinking about what I want to say in my roast....perhaps I still need to find my innerfish first?).....Are you o.k. with that proposal Rich?

Bork


Proposal Approved!

The Fortress
May 21st, 2007, 10:47 PM
Heather, aka Flyqueen,
Poor Flyqueen has not yet figured out that school teachers are not the highest paid and thus barters dolphin kick and gymnastics advice for designer clothes (no Old Navy for her, thank you very much!) While waiting for AP to drop everything, whisk her away and marry her, she was forced to sleep on (gasp!) K-Mart sheets! She eventually went 14 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day without sleep until she found her coveted designer (Calvin Klein) bedding set. But her snobbery does not stop there! Heather attempted to move back home for a brief period of time following school, but her parents drew the line when Heather proposed a 400 sq ft addition to the Howland homestead for her designer handbag and shoe collection.

In an attempt to psyche out the competition at IL States, Heather totalled her car the day before the meet. Swimmers heard her bellow, "Watch me girls! Even sore from my accident, I'll still whup you in the 100 fly!" Alas, it was indeed a 100 yd fly, not the smokin' fast 90 yd fly that Flyqueen completed. We all wait for next year's final 10 yds at Austin!

Having read the diss from her Illinois sista, FlyQueen embarked on a revenge plan. She decided to leave AP to Feisty to disrupt her perfect "I married my masters swim coach" marriage. Then she set her sights on better prey. Initially, she planned to bat her eyelashes at an orthopod, which her lawyer had recommended. But, upon reflection, she decided to a pain doc would be even better. After all, SlowSwim had observed that marathoners married to pain docs are always pain free and FlyQueen's lawyer is seeing a pain doc. So she proceeds with this plan. She also reasons that, after eradicating shoulder pain, she will able to swim not only a 100 instead of a 90 yard fly, but also the elusive 200 and trounce her secret nemesis.

FlyQueen makes the necessary FAF purchases for the seduction. She arranges the necessary introductions. But on the way to her date, she is tackled by LBJ, SwimStud and the other forum DOMs. Because they are so amazing, FlyQueen is temporarily distracted from her goal. Being an FAF Draculina, she stays up all night, misses her date and takes 4 naps the next day. Once awake, she sadly drives to work in her indigo blue corolla longingly looking at every beemer she passes. Distraught, she pulls into the nearest Burger King, gorges on TFs, and decides to go back to gymnastics to improve her breaststoke. Since that stroke is so comparatively easy, she is sure she can complete a 100 yards lickety split and beat Feisty at Illinois States. Maybe KPN too ...

The Fortress
May 22nd, 2007, 09:43 AM
Proposal Approved!

So is Poolraat up too? Or just FMIF?

SwimStud
May 22nd, 2007, 09:50 AM
So is Poolraat up too? Or just FMIF?

Poolraat is open for abuse...

Seagurl51
May 22nd, 2007, 10:44 AM
I don't think I'm very good at this roasting business. I think I burnt it.

So we're roasting Poolraat and FMIF? hmmmmmmmm....I need to go ponder this.....

SwimStud
May 22nd, 2007, 11:05 AM
Poolraat. Romping Stomping Airborne Butterflying Trooper.
Know to be a keen observer of female backstroke events...claiming the binoculars are to help him see the time on the board...


:lmao:

MOONBEAM
May 22nd, 2007, 07:09 PM
I'm a little behind on this roasting, but I couldn't pass up Heather, my niece who looks up to me cause I am fast (yeah, right), but I am with Seagurl on this one, I could use Heather down here on Roatan to protect me and my stuff when I swim. I mean have you seen this lady? The island guys would shy away from her she is so strong. And she could work in one of the many bars as cocktail waitress/bouncer, boy I'd love to see that. I would be such a proud aunt. But no matter how much she tries to butter me up, she can never have my Olympian ex-boyfriend, in her dreams!!! Heather, a question, you didn't swim as Jane Doh Swims at Natls, why not?

donna

MOONBEAM
May 22nd, 2007, 07:11 PM
The only thing I know for certain about Poolrat is he has a gambling problem. He bet on the Queen at the Kentucky Derby and even gave her, Morning Line, odds of 7/2. She didn't run nor did she place. You need a new bookie, Poolrat.

SwimStud
May 22nd, 2007, 09:11 PM
Early Notice: Tomorrow, we get to roast Kyra...:applaud:

The Fortress
May 22nd, 2007, 09:30 PM
Poolraat. Romping Stomping Airborne Butterflying Trooper. Know to be a keen observer of female backstroke events...claiming the binoculars are to help him see the time on the board...

Poolraat used to be a nice conservative from Nevada who never read Playboy until he befriended SwimStud. Now he has Found His Inner DOM. This was helped along by viewing pics of the disgraced American Idol poser, thanks again to the crafty internet-surfing SwimStud. Now, he runs around at meets asking the ladies what size fastskin they wear and if they'll join facebook or myspace. On the surface, using his "I'm a boring engineer" guise, Poolraat pretends not to have the time for these silly places -- unless someone is giving him swimming advice or reviewing his videos. But we all know why he is friends with Amanda Beard.

In an effort to prepare for his own "flash" on the upcoming USMS 2008 calendar exclusively for 50 flyers under 30 seconds, Poolraat purchased a monofin. Now, he works his abs and glutes daily. Not only will this garner him fame with the USMS babes, who are, to be sure, the most beautiful women in the world, it will set him up nicely when it's trophy wife time. Poolraat dreams of this time, as he sits sipping his nightly beer(s). Before opening Playboy.

Seagurl51
May 22nd, 2007, 09:54 PM
I can't think of anything good to roast Poolraat with. Y'all took my ideas....

So I guess I'll just be lame and tell him that he's amazing! Hopefully all the beer hasn't kicked in yet and he can still read this alright. Oh but, did you still want me to forward those Girls Gone Wild e-mails to you?

SwimStud
May 22nd, 2007, 10:00 PM
Poolraat used to be a nice conservative from Nevada who never read Playboy until he befriended SwimStud. Now he has Found His Inner DOM.

Wait a minute he's been a DOM since I was an embryo...how do I cop the blame for this?

The Fortress
May 22nd, 2007, 10:56 PM
Wait a minute he's been a DOM since I was an embryo...how do I cop the blame for this?

Rich was never an embryo. He sprang full size (as a jello swimma) from the head of Cronus and immediately began terrorizing the female population and making witty double entendres. Thousands swooned before his charm. Many rooms were got. And, as I said before, he corrupted poor Poolraat who was happily married and bearing children only in wedlock. SwimStud was ably aided in this endeavor by the Bork who, likewise proud of his DOM status, made sure to keep his wife in pizza and away from the pool.

So enamored with the DOM masters, Poolraat has completely rejected the esteeemed sport of running. (Indeed, he is so ignorant that he didn't even know that Alan Webb was the first high schooler to break the 4:00 minute barrier or that FlyQueen was a marathoner.) So he and the DOMs plan the DOM-scapades for Austin in blissful happiness. Until their wives check their computers' browser history and cookies ...

The Fortress
May 22nd, 2007, 11:28 PM
Early Notice: Tomorrow, we get to roast Kyra...:applaud:

Kyra, the neo-pagan spacey liberal sleepy college student, is too nice for her own good. She is constantly telling everyone they are amazing. This is very good for everyone's egos. They know it is false, but love to be lied to. While busy telling everyone else they are amazing, Kyra sometimes forgets that she is too. She forgets that her body is amazing and that a little nagging twitch in her hamstring should not keep her out of nationals. So she goes and watches and tells everyone they are amazing. Which they are, and many egos are once again soothed.

The upside of not actually swimming at nationals is that there is time to shop. Natch. So after chatting up the amazing forumites and attending baseball game, Kyra heads to Nordstroms. She spends all her time gazing at and coveting Kate Spade bags and wishing she had taught more swim lessons so that she could actually afford one. She wonders if she could persuade a DOM to buy one for her. After all, everyone gives her gifts on facebook, why not IRL? Poolraat, being the sweetest of the DOMs, obliges and Kyra parades her bag around Nats the very next day, scurrying around supplying Starbucks to all sprinters (she should get all credit for Poolraat's sub-30 50 fly).

During Nats, while wearing an Old Navy tank, Kyra texts Heather every 15 minutes with gossip updates, including who's wearing FS Pros, how Heather's secret nemesis is doing, whether any UT boys are there, who's the cutest 25-29 year old, etc. Having met everyone of interest and having avoided using her inhaler, Kyra returns home to sleep. A long time. Through breakfast. Through lunch. Sleeping Beauty finally awakens. But does she go swimming? No, it's too much effort to find a nearby pool, and she's too sleepy to do even the slowest of strokes. So she takes a nap. Again. No drugs needed. Until the stroke of midnight, when Sleeping Beauty wonders why she is awake ...

SwimStud
May 23rd, 2007, 08:19 AM
Rich was never an embryo. He sprang full size (as a jello swimma) from the head of Cronus and immediately began terrorizing the female population


Leslie..I thought you said I was terrific....I must have misheard...

:rofl: :joker: :thhbbb: :dedhorse: :cheerleader: :banana:

The Fortress
May 23rd, 2007, 10:08 AM
Leslie..I thought you said I was terrific....I must have misheard...

:rofl: :joker: :thhbbb: :dedhorse: :cheerleader: :banana:

Rich has a hearing problem. He also has a frequent poster problem. (Certain people do not like frequent posters, even though they are posting on a discussion forum.) Rich has a flirting problem. He is a demi-professional flirter. Thankfully, Team Hottub likes to flirt, especially the littlest FAF, Kyra. Kyra specializes in computer flirtation. She is always on line, except when napping, surfing her various forums and taking odd personality and religion quizes. Because she is forced to do excessive evilstroke, she has to spend time on line reading things that have nothing whatsoever to do with swimming by any stretch of the imagination.

Rich is very sad because the amazing Kyra has not written him a poem recently. Rich is sad that Geek has won. Kyra is sad that her poetry thread may be dead. There is sadness in Flirtville today.

SwimStud
May 23rd, 2007, 12:47 PM
Kyra, while a gorgeous breaststroker, maybe the tallest female in USMS. Needing only 3 pulls to go 25 yards, it is a mystery why her times are not record breaking. We can only attribute this to her training consisting of sitting at a computer and talking to FlyQueen about swimming for 3000 minutes per workout...damn this semsester's 2.0 GPA would have been way higher too if not for all this training!
;)

Love you.
LOL

jaegermeister
May 23rd, 2007, 01:13 PM
Kyra- Its not her fault that her name conjours thoughts of a personal lubricant.

fanstone
May 23rd, 2007, 02:54 PM
KYra, Jaegermeister only thinks about THAT! Truthly, it took me most of a minute to catch the joke...so clear, so clean, so evanescent, and yet so useful...

newmastersswimmer
May 23rd, 2007, 07:57 PM
I am waaaay behind on this roasting thread so I will try and catch up on this post:

FindingmyInnerFish: It shouldn't be hard from all that openwater swimming....eventually one of those fish will get so close that you will be finding it in your suit! FMIF is a ture jokester too! She loves to post on all the major NSR threads here....and we all love reading her funny contributions!


Poolraat: What can you say.....he's an engineer like Kirk so that pretty much says it all....Like a true engineer he is obsessed with designing and building his own fishing reels and flies. He proudly obtained his DOM status right away here on the USMS site as well as on FB....As a true lover of sheep (and all creatures too as the true outdoorsman he is), he posted the first ever picture of our beloved Babbette here at the USMS site. He's been known to knock back a few here and there as well.....and I'm sure he wanted to knock back more than just a few after finishing the last few strokes of that 100 fly at this year's SCY Nats! :rofl:


Kyra: Miss Amazing! When she's not sleeping through Biology class, or cramming for a developmental Psych test, she spends her spare time entrenched in the Biological study of male lifeguards! What can you say....She is such an avid student that she just can't get enough studying at school ....so she needs to continue her studies on the pool deck! Thats true dedication folks! I imagine that her extracurricular studies will even be more intensified in Austin in 2008 when she focuses her continued love for Biology at the UT swim center......There she will be so immersed in her studies that she will most likely seek out assistance from her favorite lab partner FlyQueen...together they will produce a "fabulous" body of work I'm sure...it will be truelly amazing! LOL! I guess this newfound love for Biology is an attempt to make up for all that sleeping she did during the actual course she took in college?! :rofl:


o.k. I guess that catches me back up now....I hope I didn't miss anyone? LOL!

Bork

aquaFeisty
May 23rd, 2007, 10:32 PM
Poolraat came to the sport of swimming later in life than many on these forums. However, he had an active background. Yes, Poolraat grew up a runner. He ran 100m, he ran cross country, he did hurdles, half-marathons, and relays. Gifted with legs that occupy 7/8ths of his 6'11" frame, Poolraat excelled at running. Finally, he reached the apex of the sport, when competing in the Badlands Marathon, Poolraat was within view of a first place finish. Unfortunately, a small snake slithered across his path at that precise moment. With a girlish shriek, Poolraat tripped, stubbed his toe and watched as his championship moment was lost. What followed then? Well, as Picasso had his 'Blue Period' so did Poolraat have his 'Beer Period'. Copious quantities of beer were consumed over the next decade while Poolraat contemplated his former running glory.

Fortunately, Poolraat was lured into the water after watching his youngest son compete. He thought, I can do that! After attending his first masters meet, he realized how attractive female masters swimmers are. And that wow, those speedskins are kinda sheer.

He is also very comforted by the fact that snakes do not do well in chorinated water.

Poolraat cannot be roasted for his career choice, however. He is an engineer, a true and noble profession. Poolraat, Kirk and I have authored a new book: The Engineer's Guide to Fashion. Aside from mentioning in the first chapter that coverage be temperature appropriate and cover body parts as required by local laws and customs (Appendix A provides a table of various parts of the world and their appendage coverage requirements), it is a very very... very... short book! Copies will be available late summer.

The Fortress
May 23rd, 2007, 10:35 PM
Poolraat came to the sport of swimming later in life than many on these forums. However, he had an active background. Yes, Poolraat grew up a runner. He ran 100m, he ran cross country, he did hurdles, half-marathons, and relays. Gifted with legs that occupy 7/8ths of his 6'11" frame, Poolraat excelled at running. Finally, he reached the apex of the sport, when competing in the Badlands Marathon, Poolraat was within view of a first place finish. Unfortunately, a small snake slithered across his path at that precise moment. With a girlish shriek, Poolraat tripped, stubbed his toe and watched as his championship moment was lost. What followed then? Well, as Picasso had his 'Blue Period' so did Poolraat have his 'Beer Period'. Copious quantities of beer were consumed over the next decade while Poolraat contemplated his former running glory.

Fortunately, Poolraat was lured into the water after watching his youngest son compete. He thought, I can do that! After attending his first masters meet, he realized how attractive female masters swimmers are. And that wow, those speedskins are kinda sheer.

He is also very comforted by the fact that snakes do not do well in chorinated water.

Poolraat cannot be roasted for his career choice, however. He is an engineer, a true and noble profession. Poolraat, Kirk and I have authored a new book: The Engineer's Guide to Fashion. Aside from mentioning in the first chapter that coverage be temperature appropriate and cover body parts as required by local laws and customs (Appendix A provides a table of various parts of the world and their appendage coverage requirements), it is a very very... very... short book! Copies will be available late summer.

:applaud: :applaud: :lmao: :lmao:

Can we start on Skip and Feisty anytime now? (Isn't Badlands an ultra?)

aquaFeisty
May 23rd, 2007, 10:37 PM
Ack, I'm not caught up yet, Fort! Kyra awaits...

The Fortress
May 23rd, 2007, 10:43 PM
Ok, carry on. I'll start on Skip Montanaro.

Skip hails from the lovely town of Evanston IL hidden in the affuent suburbs of Chicago. Surrounded by (and perhaps attending?) Northwestern, he became well educated. This enabled him to come up with handy dandy split calculators in an attempt to vault himself to the highest demi-professional levels of evilstroking. The only problem was he couldn't figure out whether to do a one hunch or two hunch evilstroke. Any stroke with a hunch is, of course, highly suspect and probably creates shoulder problems from bad posture. Despite his location, and possibly reflecting the split calculator obsession, he is also a bit naive. He actually thinks the forum non-evilstrokers were joking in our repeated dissing of evilstroke. How wrong he was ... Befuddled by the one or two hunch dilemma, he is simply Lost. And has no idea that he is Lost. So instead of watching the TV show, he struggles with his teenager, who is not yet trouble, but probably is not as Lost as her father. She apparently has not befriended FlyQueen yet.

aquaFeisty
May 23rd, 2007, 11:09 PM
Ah Kyra, our wonderful most-faithful forumite college masters swimmer. She the poetry writer, fellow breaststroker, avid facebook compulsive wall hogger, and (now legal) consumer of lime-flavored jello shots.

Unfortunately, Kyra has not been on the forums so much lately. See, having scouted all the cute boys in Idaho (and since how can there be many left now in Washington since Nats is over?), Kyra is once again headed to Texas for summer fun in the sun.

aside note: Yes, Kyra still is really after Michael Phelps. But, Kyra has had some problems in the past with her geography classes. We're working on this. Michael is in Michigan which is a tad further north than Texas. We're trying to use a simple pneumonic to help Kyra out: Michael... Michigan. Get it? Ok, back to my story...

So she has been busy busy busy packing. You know those hollow dolls that kids play with that nest within themselves? Everytime you open a doll, there's another inside. Well, that is Kyra's method of packing for Austin. The large Kate Spade handbag holds the summer Coach purse, holds the small anna sui purse, holds the Gucci wristlet, holds the Chanel lipstick holder inside which there is, yes, a Lancome lipstick. All purchased with the credit card of last year's Texas boy. Sigh, such a nice boy, but soooo last season...

Seagurl51
May 23rd, 2007, 11:53 PM
Ah Kyra, our wonderful most-faithful forumite college masters swimmer. She the poetry writer, fellow breaststroker, avid facebook compulsive wall hogger, and (now legal) consumer of lime-flavored jello shots.

Unfortunately, Kyra has not been on the forums so much lately. See, having scouted all the cute boys in Idaho (and since how can there be many left now in Washington since Nats is over?), Kyra is once again headed to Texas for summer fun in the sun.

aside note: Yes, Kyra still is really after Michael Phelps. But, Kyra has had some problems in the past with her geography classes. We're working on this. Michael is in Michigan which is a tad further north than Texas. We're trying to use a simple pneumonic to help Kyra out: Michael... Michigan. Get it? Ok, back to my story...

So she has been busy busy busy packing. You know those hollow dolls that kids play with that nest within themselves? Everytime you open a doll, there's another inside. Well, that is Kyra's method of packing for Austin. The large Kate Spade handbag holds the summer Coach purse, holds the small anna sui purse, holds the Gucci wristlet, holds the Chanel lipstick holder inside which there is, yes, a Lancome lipstick. All purchased with the credit card of last year's Texas boy. Sigh, such a nice boy, but soooo last season...


:rofl: :rofl:

FlyQueen
May 24th, 2007, 10:11 AM
Ah the youngest of the regular forumites our darling Kyra has a naievity to match her age. She likes to whimp out of nationals claiming a hamstring injury but is miraculously able to climb up on and dance on tables through out nationals. Is she merely afraid of the competition? How un FAF unlike. We may never know. Now that she is heading to Texas (biznatch!) she is too good for us and decreased her number of posts and seems to now have taken control of her facebook addiction.

Her plans while in Texas do not yet include swimming, how shocking?! She will however hunt down various hot former UT swimmers for her loving and adoring big sister. She will undoubtedly woo many different men that will be intoxicated by her mile long, though bruised, legs.

The Fortress
May 24th, 2007, 10:15 AM
Feisty is a Type A geeky control freak who crunches numbers to relieve tension and win the admiration of the DOM Poolraat. Feisty applies this dedication to every aspect of her life. Realizing that her patellar tracking problem would hinder her improvement in swimming, she determined to improve in another way. She stalked and married her masters coach, who not so incidentally happens to be an evilstroker. Then, in an effort to populate the world with evilstrokers, she had a child with said coach who began taking evilstroke lessons at age one. Because she is Type A, however, Feisty micro-manages her daughter's existence, protecting her from even .02 grams of TFs and hosting Martha Stewart playdates with homemade cookies and lemonade. When at work or practice, she will only leave the little evilstroker with the hubby evilstroker so as not to expose her to what Feisty considers the polluted strokes. She even brings her to every swim meet and would not even CONSIDER using formula.

Since she has now swum her best times in her post-pregnancy state, Feisty plans to have at least 10 more children. She reasons, in calculating fashion and having done the spreadsheets, that if the speed demon Liz Dillman can do it, so can she. Plus, she and hubby can then nurture the kiddos' inherent swiming talent and spend the rest of their lives at swim meets, keeping track of the family times on excel and submitting them for USMS Top Ten consideration. In the meantime, Feisty meticulously grows organic veggies in her garden to further enhance the health of the evilstroke family. She is indeed perfect. Her only guilty pleasure is surfing facebook and gossiping with her USMS friends. But every hour of FB is followed by gut wrenching guilt and Feisty must do double time in the kitchen or obsessively read book after book to her daughter. Feisty has hidden all Mr. Feisty's star trek and star wars book and vids, as their violent nature is not appropriate for young children.

FlyQueen
May 24th, 2007, 10:15 AM
My dearest Fiesty ... where shall I begin. Fiesty claims a bad knee injury, even posted pictures to substantiate her claims, then she proceeded to kick some serious booty at state, going PRs or close in many events and kicking my rear inside out. She has convinced her parents to move to Chicago just so she can have free babysitting and train like a professional for next year where she plans on tryingt to take me down in fly.

She is also forcing her husband to take on extra jobs so she can stay on mommy leave and not return to her engineering job. That's right not only is Carrie fiesty she's also one smart cookie. She got an engineering job and then left it! No more boring math and science for her.

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 10:40 AM
Feisty is a Type A geeky control freak who crunches numbers to relieve tension and win the admiration of the DOM Poolraat. Feisty applies this dedication to every aspect of her life. Realizing that her patellar tracking problem would hinder her improvement in swimming, she determined to improve in another way. She stalked and married her masters coach, who not so incidentally happens to be an evilstroker. Then, in an effort to populate the world with evilstrokers, she had a child with said coach who began taking evilstroke lessons at age one. Because she is Type A, however, Feisty micro-manages her daughter's existence, protecting her from even .02 grams of TFs and hosting Martha Stewart playdates with homemade cookies and lemonade. When at work or practice, she will only leave the little evilstroker with the hubby evilstroker so as not to expose her to what Feisty considers the polluted strokes. She even brings her to every swim meet and would not even CONSIDER using formula.

Since she has now swum her best times in her post-pregnancy state, Feisty plans to have at least 10 more children. She reasons, in calculating fashion and having done the spreadsheets, that if the speed demon Liz Dillman can do it, so can she. Plus, she and hubby can then nurture the kiddos' inherent swiming talent and spend the rest of their lives at swim meets, keeping track of the family times on excel and submitting them for USMS Top Ten consideration. In the meantime, Feisty meticulously grows organic veggies in her garden to further enhance the health of the evilstroke family. She is indeed perfect. Her only guilty pleasure is surfing facebook and gossiping with her USMS friends. But every hour of FB is followed by gut wrenching guilt and Feisty must do double time in the kitchen or obsessively read book after book to her daughter. Feisty has hidden all Mr. Feisty's star trek and star wars book and vids, as their violent nature is not appropriate for young children.


hahaha :rofl: ....nice one Les!! It will be difficult to follow this act but I will give my Fiesty Roast sometime later today I think!

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 10:43 AM
My dearest Fiesty ... where shall I begin. Fiesty claims a bad knee injury, even posted pictures to substantiate her claims, then she proceeded to kick some serious booty at state, going PRs or close in many events and kicking my rear inside out. She has convinced her parents to move to Chicago just so she can have free babysitting and train like a professional for next year where she plans on tryingt to take me down in fly.

She is also forcing her husband to take on extra jobs so she can stay on mommy leave and not return to her engineering job. That's right not only is Carrie fiesty she's also one smart cookie. She got an engineering job and then left it! No more boring math and science for her.


"boring" math and science??.....Cmmon Heather...."boring math" is a total oxymoron and everyone knows it!! LOL! Nice Roast of Carrie though!

poolraat
May 24th, 2007, 11:59 AM
:rofl: :lmao:


Poolraat came to the sport of swimming later in life than many on these forums. However, he had an active background. Yes, Poolraat grew up a runner. He ran 100m, he ran cross country, he did hurdles, half-marathons, and relays. Gifted with legs that occupy 7/8ths of his 6'11" frame, Poolraat excelled at running. Finally, he reached the apex of the sport, when competing in the Badlands Marathon, Poolraat was within view of a first place finish. Unfortunately, a small snake slithered across his path at that precise moment. With a girlish shriek, Poolraat tripped, stubbed his toe and watched as his championship moment was lost. What followed then? Well, as Picasso had his 'Blue Period' so did Poolraat have his 'Beer Period'. Copious quantities of beer were consumed over the next decade while Poolraat contemplated his former running glory.

Fortunately, Poolraat was lured into the water after watching his youngest son compete. He thought, I can do that! After attending his first masters meet, he realized how attractive female masters swimmers are. And that wow, those speedskins are kinda sheer.

He is also very comforted by the fact that snakes do not do well in chorinated water.

Poolraat cannot be roasted for his career choice, however. He is an engineer, a true and noble profession. Poolraat, Kirk and I have authored a new book: The Engineer's Guide to Fashion. Aside from mentioning in the first chapter that coverage be temperature appropriate and cover body parts as required by local laws and customs (Appendix A provides a table of various parts of the world and their appendage coverage requirements), it is a very very... very... short book! Copies will be available late summer.

poolraat
May 24th, 2007, 12:35 PM
Ah Fiesty…..engineer, swimmer mommy. When not baking cookies or killing weeds with her 5 gallon spray bottle of Roundup, she is on the computer running various analyses of swim times from the women’s age groups in which she will be competing in the future so as to determine how fast she will need to be to remain competitive. As an engineer on leave she is so bored that in addition to the statistical analysis of swimming she creates countdown timers for various significant and not so significant up-coming events in her life. So strong is the need to engineer something she measured the entire house and furniture, room by room, before rearranging and drew everything up in Autocad and did the rearranging digitally, with plots and graphs of course, in order to make sure her planned changes would be acceptable. Not satisfied with just rearranging the interior of her home, she next moved to the yard and redesigned the landscaping, again with plots and graphs, before tearing out the existing plants and grass and redoing it all.

SwimStud
May 24th, 2007, 01:07 PM
For someone who can plot curves in their sleep, Carrie tends to shun the perfect arc in favour of the maximum displacement achieveing splat when doing her dive...her Calculus professors would not be impressed.

:lmao:

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 02:03 PM
Ah....its time to roast our one and only AquaFiesty (AKA as Carrie). I must admit that up until recently the woman has been mostly a mystery to me. Sure.... we all know how, in her endless quest for swimming glory, she stalked and eventually landed her co-evilstroking Masters swim coach for a husband .....Phase 1 of Her evil plan to eventually procreate a master race of super evilstrokers has now been successfully accomplished. One of the more suprising attributes, however, that we have discovered about her though is her apparent newly emerging talent for roasting fellow forumites.....a very creative talent that is not usually associated with the number crunching Chemical engineering persona that she also possesses. She is a woman of many talents indeed! ....If this is not already amazing enough, she also uses her sharp engineering mind to map out the perfect formula for raising future evilstroking children while maintaining her Martha Stewart like capacity to do multiple loads of laundry, while simultaneously baking batch after batch of delicious mouthwatering cookies, and maintaining a perfect totally organic bug free super garden as well. Yes it is truelly amazing folks! But I think I have finally cracked one of the mysteries surrounding her ability to crunch numbers with the best of them and also supply creative roast after roast here on our forum....I believe that she has been secretly using her Chemical engineering powers to develop a new synthetic isomer of the THC molecule that has a psychodelic potency level that has never been seen before.....(Its a variant of the THC-C series as describes in the first paragraph after the last of the three pictures are displayed in the following link:

http://designer-drug.com/pte/12.162.180.114/dcd/chemistry/thc/index.html )

This has been the secret ingredient in these so called mouth watering home made cookies she is so famous for....using the ultra psychodelic properties of this new isomer, she has been able to tap into the creative side of her brain that would normally lie completely dormant in any other stiff engineering type (I mean just look at Kirk and poolraat to see my point right LOL!). yes...thats right Carrie.. I'm on to you....o.k. LOL! ...(but no offense really...just j/k now o.k. LOL!) You may think you've fooled us all....but not me I say!....Not me!! Mwuhahahah :lmao:

Bork

SwimStud
May 24th, 2007, 02:11 PM
using the ultra psychodelic properties of this new isomer, she has been able to tap into the creative side of her brain that would normally lie completely dormant in any other stiff engineering type (I mean just look at Kirk and poolraat to see my point right LOL!)


ROFLCOPTERS!!!!!
Guys I luv ya but that's a real good dig hahahaha

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 02:13 PM
ROFLCOPTERS!!!!!
Guys I luv ya but that's a real good dig hahahaha

Thanks Rich....That means a lot coming from the King of Wit himself....our beloved BritWit!

ensignada
May 24th, 2007, 03:52 PM
Carrie is the only Earth Mother I know who uses Round-up, the organic gardening equivalent of Agent Orange, in the yard.

tjburk
May 24th, 2007, 03:53 PM
I just want to know where I can get some of those cookies:dunno: :dunno:

tjburk
May 24th, 2007, 03:56 PM
Carrie....whatever you do....DO NOT put any of those cookies in with the spray!!!!!! You'll never get rid of the bugs if you do!!!!!

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 04:41 PM
I just want to know where I can get some of those cookies:dunno: :dunno:


You and me both Tracy! I also have more evidence that my theory is in fact true.....I happen to know through secret channels that Carrie also watches South Park from time to time.....So you tell me.....There must be something to those cookies in order for a Martha Stewart / engineering type like her to also find that show funny don't you think? LOL! :rofl:

Bork

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 05:14 PM
Carrie is the only Earth Mother I know who uses Round-up, the organic gardening equivalent of Agent Orange, in the yard.


So I guess that means her bug free super garden isn't actually "organic" the way I claimed it was then eh? LOL!

aquaFeisty
May 24th, 2007, 05:40 PM
guess I deserved that...

you guys are all TOOOO funny! :lolup:

fyi, I'd have been on the forums sooner to comment, but had to bake cookies and a casserole for playgroup, host playgroup, do some breaststroke core strengthening exercises with the toddler, and was already guilty over too much time spent on facebook. don't worry Barb, it's far too windy here to use the Roundup today...

newmastersswimmer
May 24th, 2007, 05:51 PM
guess I deserved that...

you guys are all TOOOO funny! :lolup:

fyi, I'd have been on the forums sooner to comment, but had to bake cookies and a casserole for playgroup, host playgroup, do some breaststroke core strengthening exercises with the toddler, and was already guilty over too much time spent on facebook. don't worry Barb, it's far too windy here to use the Roundup today...


Gee I wonder where all that extra energy comes from?....Hmmm LOL!

The Fortress
May 24th, 2007, 05:58 PM
guess I deserved that...

you guys are all TOOOO funny! :lolup:

fyi, I'd have been on the forums sooner to comment, but had to bake cookies and a casserole for playgroup, host playgroup, do some breaststroke core strengthening exercises with the toddler, and was already guilty over too much time spent on facebook. don't worry Barb, it's far too windy here to use the Roundup today...

But did you wake up in the middle of the night to clean Meg's tub?

islandsox
May 24th, 2007, 07:15 PM
guess I deserved that...

you guys are all TOOOO funny! :lolup:

fyi, I'd have been on the forums sooner to comment, but had to bake cookies and a casserole for playgroup, host playgroup, do some breaststroke core strengthening exercises with the toddler, and was already guilty over too much time spent on facebook. don't worry Barb, it's far too windy here to use the Roundup today...

Uh, let me guess, the casserole was chicken nuggets with velvetta cheese and ketchup? That combo will put them to sleep in about an hour---good choice, Chef Carrie. And Carrie even has her toddler doing core strengthening exercises? I hate to break this to you but it won't help that toddler with doggie paddle. There is a better product than Roundup, it's called wee-wee and it works, but I don't go to the trouble. We love ya Carrie!!

jaegermeister
May 24th, 2007, 10:41 PM
Don't get on Feisty's bad side or she'll slip you an habenero without your suspecting it.

newmastersswimmer
May 25th, 2007, 08:29 AM
So who is today's victim?

The Fortress
May 25th, 2007, 08:31 AM
George.

If he ever used a period, perhaps I could read his posts. If he ever stopped drinking massive magaritas, maybe he would remember how to use periods.

FlyQueen
May 25th, 2007, 09:15 AM
Uh, let me guess, the casserole was chicken nuggets with velvetta cheese and ketchup? That combo will put them to sleep in about an hour---good choice, Chef Carrie. And Carrie even has her toddler doing core strengthening exercises? I hate to break this to you but it won't help that toddler with doggie paddle. There is a better product than Roundup, it's called wee-wee and it works, but I don't go to the trouble. We love ya Carrie!!

Carrie's daughter isn't doggie paddling, she is a short axis swimmer and will showcase her skills at the local outdoor swimming facility where she will complete a mile swim fly then repeat it breast breaking records and becoming the youngest ever kid to complete the swim. Then she will be shipped off to Michigan to train alongside Michael Phelps with Bob Bowman in order to start the quest of youngest ever Olympian, and of course most decorated Olympian.

SwimStud
May 25th, 2007, 11:56 AM
George Park.
Known for his quick witty jabs into serious posts, and his "zoomer in the door" approach to convincing you that you really do need a Riverpool in your basement, garage, sparebedroom or even dining room! That's right folks, do not miss this once in a lifetime chance to have a swim up dinner table...heck the constant water flow will mean that you will never actually reach the table, but why split hairs?

Some history on George: Canandian, British Empire, Commonwealth and Olympic Swimmer. Wears a crash helmet for flip turns. Not afraid of Sharks. Famously lost out the on Tarzan role to Weismuller when producers realised that the reknowned Tarzan yell didn't sound right when it finished with "eh?" every time. Also, Cheetah didn't respond to the strange sounding accent, and the elephants simply refused to let him ride them sporting the Red tunic and RCMP hat.

George--you're an inspiration...Hope to meet you one day.
Rich

Peter Cruise
May 25th, 2007, 12:55 PM
Well, I have met the fella and I'm here to tell you that he makes John Wayne look like a pussycat...as long as he has Tim Horton's coffee, that is, and Chuckie to keep him in line.

ensignada
May 25th, 2007, 03:19 PM
George Park.
Known for his quick witty jabs into serious posts, and his "zoomer in the door" approach to convincing you that you really do need a Riverpool in your basement, garage, sparebedroom or even dining room! That's right folks, do not miss this once in a lifetime chance to have a swim up dinner table...heck the constant water flow will mean that you will never actually reach the table, but why split hairs?



A great diet plan, by the way!

newmastersswimmer
May 25th, 2007, 03:52 PM
A lot of people may not know this about George....but before he became an Olympic swimmer he use to make a living wrestling great white sharks! I also think that the reason he likes such big margaritas could be that he was once a Texan in a past life!....that would explain his John Wayne type persona too! ....But seriously, Goerge is a great guy and is more than willing to share his swimming knowledge with anyone who wants advise....I'm sure he is an excellent personal instructor too! Maybe one day I can travel around as much as he and Chuckie do....that avatar makes me so jealous!!

Bork

islandsox
May 25th, 2007, 04:37 PM
George, the guy "parked" at a table swigging margaritas with his love, Chuckie. A man of few words, Keep it Simple, says it all. Sometimes he butts into a masquerade ball and tells all the players they are foolish, then turns around and joins in the fun and continues this pattern probably because the posts are ranging in the thousands and the views are over 10 grand. So his curiosity got the better of him.

He did almost wrestle with a great white, but that shark knew he'd have trouble with tall George so he let him finish his swim but made sure he didn't stop for hydration. The problem with that swim is George was drafting off of that shark but the officials didn't figure it out.

I admire our friend, George, who has been committed, uh, er, who committed his life to swimming.

aquaFeisty
May 25th, 2007, 05:52 PM
Almost as fast as his former student, Mark McGill (you're not as good as me, you'll never be as good as me), George is our resident Canadian non-breaststroking speed demon on the forums.
With a bum knee or two forcing a temporary swimming hiatus, George has become a professional RV'er. Finding stock RV's to be insufficient, George and Chuckie designed their own. This wonder of an engineering marvel has all the comforts of Canada inside, even housing its own Tim Hortons, where they make the best double doubles to be found in Mexico.
When his 3 block long RV pulls into parking lots throughout North and South American, wildly screaming teenage girls run at it, convinced that a rock star has just landed in their midst. With one look at George, their suspicions are confirmed! The young groupies flock towards him, but a subtle look from Chuckie stops the female fans in their tracks. Secure in the knowledge that his young admirers could not possibly keep up with Chuckie's margarita consumption abilities, George knows that all is well...

jaegermeister
May 25th, 2007, 11:16 PM
George: what comes first, the magaritas or the mangy knees?

geochuck
May 25th, 2007, 11:21 PM
Just wanted all to know my wrestling career was as a lady wrestler. But Chuckie made me give it up. It was once said in the Vancouver Sun if George hit you , you would starve to death bouncing.

Had very bad news to day an old friend, Len Whitman a great swimmer and a Canadian Champion Waterpolo Player Passed away yesterday, after a 4xheart by pass. He was 84, 10 years my senior. He played defense and was a great passer. Only 5 of our team still around. I am flying home on Monday to be at his funeral on Tuesday. http://guelphline.smithsfh.com/obituary.asp?id=2324

jaegermeister
May 26th, 2007, 11:08 AM
George-
Very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had some great times in the pool together. I can see our roasting was ill-timed.
I must say that your avatar shows that you certainly know how to have a good time, and that is something all of us can aspire to.

geochuck
May 26th, 2007, 12:03 PM
Our waterpolo team won the Canadian Championship nearly every year. The team had 5 Canadian Swimming Champions on it and several Ontario Champions. Our team played the Hungarian team that won the Olympic Games in Australia (dubbed the blood bath) beating the Soviet Union.

We beat them and our pool was filled with blood. After that game Len was suspended from waterpolo for 1 year. He came to my rescue when three Hungarian players were fighting with me. Mike MacLoughlan my other friend was also suspended along with me for the year.

geochuck
May 26th, 2007, 03:58 PM
The swimmer that I tried to emulate was George Larson (93 years old)
he was also a great wrestler. He was a cop and wrestled under an alias Tom Colins on the wrestling Circuit.

As a policeman you were not allowed to be a professional athlete. When he wrestled in Hamilton our home town he wore a mask and called himself the Masked Marvel. Here is atribute to him http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/2004/10/20/677993.html When I went to Hamilton last year he was doing laps.

newmastersswimmer
May 26th, 2007, 05:32 PM
Just wanted all to know my wrestling career was as a lady wrestler. But Chuckie made me give it up. It was once said in the Vancouver Sun if George hit you , you would starve to death bouncing.

Had very bad news to day an old friend, Len Whitman a great swimmer and a Canadian Champion Waterpolo Player Passed away yesterday, after a 4xheart by pass. He was in his 80s. He played defense and was a great passer. Only 5 of our team still around.


I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend George! My deepest condolences! He sounds like he was one tough cookie like yourself....it doesn't suprise me to hear about the physical play you encountered in international waterpolo....it helps explain where you got your toughness from.

3strokes
May 26th, 2007, 06:08 PM
My deepest condolences, George, for losing a friend
and a team-mate.
Take Care.

islandsox
May 26th, 2007, 09:44 PM
George,

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend leaving this earth. It is always a shock and a great sadness can come over as as we say goodbye to another. I hope that your friend had a wonderful, fulfilled life and enjoyed more than not. At least he had you as a friend and patriate.

donna

islandsox
May 26th, 2007, 09:53 PM
George,

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend leaving this earth. It is always a shock and a great sadness can come over as as we say goodbye to another. I hope that your friend had a wonderful, fulfilled life and enjoyed more than not. At least he had you as a friend and patriate.

donna

geochuck
May 26th, 2007, 11:11 PM
Thank you every one. He had a great life.

The other day when I mentioned fish and chips on the burger thread.

I was had been talking to Chuckie about our last visit to Hamilton. We went to the Canadian Legion and met a bunch of swimmers there for a wonderful meal of fish (Halibut) and chips. Len was there as big as life. We will all miss him.

poolraat
May 28th, 2007, 12:15 AM
...... Poolraat has completely rejected the esteeemed sport of running. (Indeed, he is so ignorant that he didn't even know that Alan Webb was the first high schooler to break the 4:00 minute barrier or that FlyQueen was a marathoner.) .......


Actually Jim Ryan was the first high schooler to run the mile under 4:00 in 1964, followed by Tim Danielson in 1966, and Marty Liquori in 1967. Alan Webb was the fourth in 2001. I got to see Ryan (and several others who would compete in Mexico City the following year) run in 1967 at the NCAA T&F Championships. I didn't know about Alan Webb until you mentioned it last fall because you are right. I no longer follow running.

FlyQueen a marathoner.....that I did not know. Good for her. The marathon is almost as hard as the 100 fly.

The Fortress
May 30th, 2007, 09:36 AM
FlyQueen a marathoner.....that I did not know. Good for her. The marathon is almost as hard as the 100 fly.

Exactly. LOL. It's just a matter of which variety of tendonitis you prefer.

And at last it is time to roast Biblioman. Unless he is quarreling with Geek over kissin' cousins or socialism, Peter will never toss a lard bomb or engage in unseemly forum fighting. Forum fighting must be avoided at all costs to avoid shutting down the forums. For what else would Canadians do to amuse themselves? There are no Horror Flick threads on the Canadian forum ...This relatively polite approach is to be distinguished from the bawdy ribbing he loves to give his fav posters. Yes, they are all repeatedly subjected to sesquipadelian teasing and joking and forced to spend precious moments of free time running to consult dictionaries to even understand the nature of the ribbing. They are also forced to memorize the spelling of sesquipadelianism. Because all their time is engaged in the pursuit of knowledge, all posters blow out their rotator cuffs and knees from failing to do the proper exercises. This gives Peter mommy guilt, er, no, this gives Peter a little chuckle.

Peter pretends to be beseiged with various groin pulls, insufficient sleep and being forced to go to lap swim. Horrors. Since this is all of our fates, no one feels sorry for him. It is all a cover really, as he plans to blow Allen Stark out of the water in the 50 breast at Austin. That is, if he survives the forum posters barbecue hosted by ande. If the wine tasting is too extensive, even SwimStud may beat him in the 50 breast. Thereafter, Peter will only enter Canadian meets where folks over the age of 49 fare well and where everyone is as polite as Lindsay.

ensignada
May 30th, 2007, 11:11 AM
Never given to adscititious verbage, cacemphaton or adynation, Peter strives toward paideia and yet manages to also entertain the us, the pachycephalic canaille. We appreciate his xyresic wit, his pauciloquy and his macarism. Peter papebrates at hebetude and his ability to marlock makes even the agelasts among us chuckle. Our agastopia of his brain and his generous aenos humbles us. We are grateful of his Philodemic bent and salute him today.

Peter, we salute you! :wine:

SwimStud
May 30th, 2007, 11:28 AM
Never given to adscititious verbage, cacemphaton or adynation, Peter strives toward paideia and yet manages to also entertain the us, the pachycephalic canaille. We appreciate his xyresic wit, his pauciloquy and his macarism. Peter papebrates at hebetude and his ability to marlock makes even the agelasts among us chuckle. Our agastopia of his brain and his generous aenos humbles us. We are grateful of his Philodemic bent and salute him today.

Peter, we salute you! :wine:


OK enough of this or i'll shut the thread....


LOL

The Fortress
May 30th, 2007, 11:38 AM
OK enough of this or i'll shut the thread....


LOL

Remember, we haven't roasted mental yet. :lolup:

I can't believe she called us pachycephalic canaille. :shakeshead: Peter is too polite to do that ... When he's not addled by wine or avidly oggling some breaststroker that he is not married to yet.

Seagurl51
May 30th, 2007, 11:47 AM
Never given to adscititious verbage, cacemphaton or adynation, Peter strives toward paideia and yet manages to also entertain the us, the pachycephalic canaille. We appreciate his xyresic wit, his pauciloquy and his macarism. Peter papebrates at hebetude and his ability to marlock makes even the agelasts among us chuckle. Our agastopia of his brain and his generous aenos humbles us. We are grateful of his Philodemic bent and salute him today.

Peter, we salute you! :wine:


*bless you*

newmastersswimmer
May 30th, 2007, 11:58 AM
Remember, we haven't roasted mental yet. :lolup:

I can't believe she called us pachycephalic canaille. :shakeshead: Peter is too polite to do that ... When he's not addled by wine or avidly oggling some breaststroker that he is not married to yet.


Such supercilious pomposity I must say! LOL!

ensignada
May 30th, 2007, 12:09 PM
Hey, I was going to take "pachycephalic canaille" as my new screen name. At the very least, it's a great band name.

tjburk
May 30th, 2007, 12:46 PM
Never given to adscititious verbage, cacemphaton or adynation, Peter strives toward paideia and yet manages to also entertain the us, the pachycephalic canaille. We appreciate his xyresic wit, his pauciloquy and his macarism. Peter papebrates at hebetude and his ability to marlock makes even the agelasts among us chuckle. Our agastopia of his brain and his generous aenos humbles us. We are grateful of his Philodemic bent and salute him today.

Peter, we salute you! :wine:

Barb....can you expound on this theorem?

The Fortress
May 30th, 2007, 01:10 PM
Barb....can you expound on this theorem?

This is what comes from Peter and Barb dancing at the masquerade ball ...

newmastersswimmer
May 30th, 2007, 01:19 PM
This is what comes from Peter and Barb dancing at the masquerade ball ...

They must have engaged in a vulcan mind meld or something LOL! That was an awesome roast Barb I must say!! I was going to try something similar myself but I just don't think I could adequately follow that one LOL! So I will just say that Peter is Great....just like the famous Russian Tsar!

Bork

Peter Cruise
May 30th, 2007, 03:15 PM
If you prick me, do I not bleed? I must admit to resembling some of these remarks, mocking as they do my terse and taut prose...

ensignada
May 30th, 2007, 03:55 PM
If you prick me, do I not bleed? I must admit to resembling some of these remarks, mocking as they do my terse and taut prose...

Not mocking, Peter. An homage, if you will.

Still, when it's my turn. You may show no mercy.

ensignada
May 30th, 2007, 03:57 PM
A translation for those of us without Peter's command of the language:

Never given to adscititious( superfluous) verbage, a cacemphaton (harsh sounding phrase) or adynation (exaggeration), Peter strives toward paideia (education of the learned) and yet manages to also entertain the us, a pachycephalic (thick skulled) canaille (rabble). We appreciate his xyresic (razor sharp) wit, his pauciloquy (brevity in speech) and his macarism (pleasure in anotherís joy). Peter papebrates (winks) at hebetude (dullness) and his ability to marlock (cavort) makes even the agelasts (somebody who never laughs) among us chuckle. Our agastopia (admiration of a particular part of someoneís body) of his brain and his generous aenos (use of erudite words ot appeal to the learned) humbles us. We are grateful of his Philodemic (fond of the common people) bent and salute him today.

islandsox
May 30th, 2007, 05:30 PM
I was just about gonna run out and try to find a Thesaurus; thanks Barb. Whew, I'll bet Peter himself didn't even catch all of those words; he's probably looking them up, too!! Peter speaks in many tongues.

The Fortress
May 30th, 2007, 10:09 PM
If you prick me, do I not bleed? I must admit to resembling some of these remarks, mocking as they do my terse and taut prose...

While there is no doubt that Peter is a solonist, not a rabiator, we must remember that he is also very sleekit. Wine, not blood or slamgullion, runs in his viens. And even through my everpresent lippitude, I can detect one essential truism and it is this: No matter the level of facundity of Peter's limned and gracile pleas, butterfrog remains a daddock, a deordination. While licit, nothing can bonify it or save it from deracinnation. Thus, we must reject all stupefacient notions surrounding its existence. Simply put, one cannot skirr doing butterfrog, hence it evokes a lamentable condition of dacygelosis.

Nonetheless, we will all hoist a :wine: and :bouncing: with him in Austin. No simultaneous drinking, driving and speeding please!

aquaFeisty
May 31st, 2007, 08:15 AM
I think my head is spinning from these roasts... thanks for the translation, Barb! I'm not sure I even have a dictionary that contains all those words..

Ah, Peter! Our other uber-posting Canadian friend. As most folks know, Peter used to own a bookstore. He spent hours there perusing the 'Greater Canadian Guide to Inane Words that No One Can Pronounce or Understand'. He then inflicted these words upon the greater forum reading population. Alas, due to a tragic stocking error involving insufficient purchases of 'An Illustrated History of Tim Horton's Donut Shop' and 'How to Leverage the Purchasing Power of the Canadian Dollar', the bookstore went out of business.

(roasting aside, this does totally suck that you had to close your bookstore, Peter)

Despondent, Peter began consuming mass quantities of Nanaimo bars. Buzzing hard on the sugar high induced by their ooey gooey goodness, Peter accepted a night shift job as the 3rd level lower shelf stocker at a large retail outfit. "Aha!" he thought. "I can work at night, then surf the forums and memorize my word lists by day. Oh yeah, and swim now and then. I'll show those FAF sistas that sleep is overrated!" Unfortunately, Peter's exponential Nanaimo Bar consumption depleted the vanilla pudding and shredded coconut stores in the whole of British Columbia, causing panic-stricken shoppers to rush the supermarkets. Since Peter was on the forums at the time, he missed the buying frenzy and ran out of ingredients. Crashing hard from the sugar buzz, Peter immediately fell asleep for a week.

Upon waking, Peter realized that, what luck! Though he did not remember the interview, he had successfully landed a job at a State- (no make that Province-) run liquor store! Much rejoicing was had! In preparation for Ande's 2008 SCYNats backyard bash, Peter immediately began ordering crates of wine, double kegs of Labatts Blue, and other assorted spirits (all part of his grand plan to have both Allen and Swimstud too hungover to dominate the breast events.) Ande, rumor has it that these orders will be arriving via freight train. Be on the lookout!

geochuck
May 31st, 2007, 09:38 AM
Peter is known in history as Peter the great.
I visited him in that great bookstore and caught him with his nose in a book.

He was reading a great book written by the McKenzie Brothers titled "How's it goin', eh?" http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/9134/

Peter does not drink that beer he drinks the beer the Mckezie brothers sell to drinkers in the USA Molsons
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/9134/molson.htm