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Peter Cruise
June 20th, 2007, 04:38 PM
Well, we milked the dickens out of the horror genre (and wasn't Charles displeased about that), so it is now time to script that ultimate bane of the unthinking manly man who is dragged off to see a movie containing emotional content, scrumptious scenery and character development when said fellow desires nothing more than a few decent explosions, a barrel of popcorn and an earnest appreciation of his manly lack of intelligent exposition. The Masters' Date Movie- lights, camera and very little action:

The sun-dappled surface of the azure pool still rocked gently from the recent exertions of the Sylvan Cove masters swim team as the laughter rose from the outdoor showers where glistening bodies were mingling and assignations being made for a post-practise social. Troy Hunkaloni eyed the exotic new swimmer that had impressed him so much with her powerful kick and long reach; perhaps she would care to have a triplemerinolatte with him he wondered silently. But no, he was still emotionally scarred from...

FindingMyInnerFish
June 20th, 2007, 04:42 PM
a long breaststroke practice under the stern tutelage of a coach with no mercy. Staggering under the weight of monofin and money bin, he slowly limped to the

[quick commercial break to thank Peter for starting us fresh with a new story!]

newmastersswimmer
June 20th, 2007, 06:08 PM
a long breaststroke practice under the stern tutelage of a coach with no mercy. Staggering under the weight of monofin and money bin, he slowly limped to the

[quick commercial break to thank Peter for starting us fresh with a new story!]

.....entrance to the ladies locker room where he planned to make an "accidental" chance encounter with this young exotic new female swimmer with the powerful kick as she makes her exit. As he approached his eventual desitination he began having second thoughts though....could his fragile male swimming ego really survive yet another rejection from a new hot female swimmer? His mind was racing with thoughts as he got closer and closer....what would he say? ....How was he going to stage this whole charade so that it doesn't appear to be a deliberately scripted pick up attempt?....Just then the exotic swimmer popped out of the locker room....Its now or never he said....and with that he......

Peter Cruise
June 20th, 2007, 06:32 PM
tripped over his monofin and fell flat on his face. Melissa Muybuono (the exotic newcomer) gasped as she fought back gales of laughter and turned them into passable noises of sympathy. She extended a long elegant hand to help him up and was suddenly transfixed by his limpid blue eyes, eyes that showed a trace of recent suffering, veiled mysteries and chlorine irritation. 'Hi, I'm Melissa, are you alright?"
Troy accepted the helping hand and met her eyes "I've forgotten my name, I'm so swept away by your excellent technique" he enthused, seizing his golden opportunity "Would you like to see some swimming videos and share a veggie cocktail?"
Melissa fought the feeling of dizziness the bronzed butterflyer aroused in her and replied "...

chlorine addict
June 20th, 2007, 07:45 PM
"Last one to Blockbuster is a rotten egg!" As she dashed off she looked back, giving him a flirtatious smile. "Ah", thought Troy, as he hopped quickly behind her, not caring in the least that he was scuffing the monofin, "what man on earth could resist such beauty, such innocent, child-like exuberance for life, and that back side...".

She was the one, he knew it. For no one else had ever made his heart race such as this. He was woozie with love. Yes, she was the one for whom he would de-string celery when making the vege cocktail. Indeed, she...

Peter Cruise
June 20th, 2007, 08:18 PM
might even forget his first true masters love the slinky Greta Lubriciosa, a breastroker even, but he had suspended his disgust at her stroke in the wake of passions that dwarfed Krakatoa. Oh, if only she had not refused her heretical attachment to butterfrog! It had ended messily (thrown shampoo bottles and angry lifeguards). Now this Melissa! He turned his self-critical internal monitor off and giddily followed her; she in her silver Porshe 911, he in his Ford Focus.
She looked in her rear view mirror...

The Fortress
June 20th, 2007, 10:44 PM
and, blinded by bronzed butterflyer lust, did not take due note of his plebian car type. The monofin incident was similarly erased from her memory banks, however temporarily. At that moment, she could only see the broad shoulders and 3% body fat, according to her rapid fire calculations. His self-critical internal monitor was well-hidden beneath his equally plebian sunglasses. For a nanosecond, she wondered in puzzlement what brand they might be. But the thought was then tossed aside as they screeched into Blockbuster, parking side by side. She knew that his true personality would be revealed by his movie choice. She just wasn't sure, in her superficial lustful daze, whether she cared all that much what they "watched." They walked into the store, chatting and flirting, with glances galore at bodacious bicep and bun, when ...

FindingMyInnerFish
June 20th, 2007, 11:32 PM
... the crowd went wild, noticing an uncanny resemblance between them and Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix in "Walk the Line."

Autograph seekers pressed in upon them, scraps of paper and pens shoved in their direction for their signatures.

Amid the carrying on, they were temporarily separated from each other, caught adrift amid the screaming fans, desperately seeking a breath of fresh air, and a quick exit from this ... what was it? Blockbuster? They couldn't tell anymore, so crowded were the aisles.

Finally, however, came the hope of rescue from this madding crowd. Into Blockbuster's, like Gary Cooper striding through the swinging saloon doors, steps a hero wielding not a six-gun but a pole.

His booming voice quiets the crowd just long enough for him to announce, ...

ALM
June 21st, 2007, 12:38 AM
"Here it is, folks, hot off the press! Amanda Beard in Playboy!"

3strokes
June 21st, 2007, 05:54 AM
"Here it is, folks, hot off the press! Amanda Beard in Playboy!"

and, with anticipating trepidation (his heart strongly thumping, "Oompah, Oompah, Badong, Dadonggggg") opens the Centerfold, announcing that Hugh Heff had promised it to be in 3-D (not ruling out plasticine) but definitely a pop-up. It IS the Amanda Beard issue, but what (or who?) do you think pops-UP instead, with a piercing scream (and sound effects from Hitchcock's "Psycho"), wielding a huge ................

chlorine addict
June 21st, 2007, 09:33 AM
pair of fishnet stockings and stilletos too wide, long, and grotesque to adorn Amanda's delicate, sensual feet? Why it's Michael Phelps! Yes, screaming like a banshee was he as he looked on in horror at the photograph someone had taken when he was but a young innocent and unsuspecting lad of 19. He had taken every preaution to distroy the evidence (save the original, as he liked the way he looked in garments other than the tiny speedo), but now he was exposed, there in Playboy, for all the world to see.

He desperately wondererd, "will AMEX" pull my upcoming ads for Beijing?", will unnatractive men with their man-crushes solicit me (would I mind)?", "what about...

newmastersswimmer
June 21st, 2007, 12:24 PM
pair of fishnet stockings and stilletos too wide, long, and grotesque to adorn Amanda's delicate, sensual feet? Why it's Michael Phelps! Yes, screaming like a banshee was he as he looked on in horror at the photograph someone had taken when he was but a young innocent and unsuspecting lad of 19. He had taken every preaution to distroy the evidence (save the original, as he liked the way he looked in garments other than the tiny speedo), but now he was exposed, there in Playboy, for all the world to see.

He desperately wondererd, "will AMEX" pull my upcoming ads for Beijing?", will unnatractive men with their man-crushes solicit me (would I mind)?", "what about...


But before he could get out another thought, our beloved Kyra (AKA Seagurl) rushed in out of nowhere...."What's this I hear about Micheal Phelps posing semi-nude in playboy (with fishnet stockings and stilletos??)" she sceamed in excitement....."Out of my way everyone if you don't want to get seriously injured" she yelled as she rushed up to snatch the playboy from the mysterious hero (Micheal Phelps?)....and then all of a sudden....

FindingMyInnerFish
June 21st, 2007, 06:18 PM
... a lonely figure lurking in a corner studying too intently for anyone's comfort the entire collection of Olympic swimming videos, chuckling softly while muttering some barely intelligible gibberish about frogs in butter wearing beards, stepped out of the shadows, glared at Phelps and Kyra, then shoved his way in between them, shouting

3strokes
June 21st, 2007, 08:53 PM
... a lonely figure lurking in a corner studying too intently for anyone's comfort the entire collection of Olympic swimming videos, chuckling softly while muttering some barely intelligible gibberish about frogs in butter wearing beards, stepped out of the shadows, glared at Phelps and Kyra, then shoved his way in between them, shouting

I'm gonna wash that man right outa' my hair, (repeat) (threepeat) and send him on ..............

Peter Cruise
June 22nd, 2007, 01:46 AM
*******INTERLUDE*********

"Cut!" yelled the director, his face livid with rage "This movie is about Troy and Melissa and their slow, interminable drift towards intimacy...NOT a show-boating opportunity for a bunch of bit players from a disasterous horror movie that cost the studio a bundle. And get that pole out of here!"
There was a chagrined silence on the set and one could sense a palpable renewal of determination to make the best masters date movie ever seen.

"Lights, cameras...and action!"


*******RESUME************

FindingMyInnerFish
June 22nd, 2007, 06:44 AM
*******INTERLUDE*********

"Cut!" yelled the director, his face livid with rage "This movie is about Troy and Melissa and their slow, interminable drift towards intimacy...NOT a show-boating opportunity for a bunch of bit players from a disasterous horror movie that cost the studio a bundle. And get that pole out of here!"
There was a chagrined silence on the set and one could sense a palpable renewal of determination to make the best masters date movie ever seen.

"Lights, cameras...and action!"

But a bit player piped up, "Just wait... the union will hear about this. We negotiated an airtight contract, for ourselves and the pole. Just sayin'.... You'll be hearing more about this... <exit bit players and pole>

*******RESUME************

Suddenly alone, Melissa and Troy, vastly relieved to be together again, clasp hands and gaze fondly into each other's eyes.

"This past hour has shown us," murmured Melissa, just how painful it is to be apart," her breath warm on Troy's cheek. "Let's stay away from Blockbuster's from now on...It's not what it used to be...."

"Yes, my dear," Troy replies. "In all the din, I was terribly afraid to have lost you, especially after the weirdo in the back started going all 'South Pacific' on us..."

He strokes Melissa's shiny locks, and the two

3strokes
June 22nd, 2007, 07:45 AM
Suddenly alone, Melissa and Troy, vastly relieved to be together again, clasp hands and gaze fondly into each other's eyes.

................snip..............


He strokes Melissa's shiny locks, and the two

........... pigtails come off Melissa's head as he strokes a bit too enthusiastically and his cuticles get entangled and locked in her "locks". As he looks at her in awe (and not too little disgust), he exclaims, "YOU are NOT my Melissa. Why, you ARE .............

chlorine addict
June 22nd, 2007, 11:18 AM
Greta Lubriciosa! "What...what are YOU doing here?" He didn't quite know what to say or think. Was she here hoping to rekindle the flame? Was she sadistically toying with his heart? "I must be strong" he told himself. He thought of Melissa and how he longed to touch her chlorine soaked skin, yet here was Greta, looking pretty hot he had to admit. "No! I musn't" he said to himself. He tried to remind himself of the terrible row w/ Greta, to remember the pain of the rhinoplasty he had to endure thanks to the shampoo bottle she had hurled at him...

3strokes
June 22nd, 2007, 01:22 PM
Greta Lubriciosa! Greta, looking pretty hot he had to admit. "No! I musn't" he said to himself. He tried to remind himself of the terrible row w/ Greta, to remember the pain of the rhinoplasty he had to endure thanks to the shampoo bottle she had hurled at him...

........ and (remember) the trouble he had explaining to the doctor when he regained consciousness in the ICU, that although the medics "thought" he had been hit in the nose by the shampoo bottle, he had not. He was born with that nose. However, he tried explaining to the surgeon, "I was on my way OUT; away from her. She hurled that very slim, elongated, oozing shampoo missile-shaped bottle as I was going out the door and bending to pick up the spare key from under the mat. I need a proctologist."

FindingMyInnerFish
June 22nd, 2007, 02:41 PM
Amid these ruminations, the real Melissa returned, fuming.

"Where is that pretender and how dare she use fake locks to seduce my Troy! And where's the pole when you need it??"

Troy blushed. This was getting awkward. For some reason, the words to the old 'sixties rock song, "did you ever have to make up your mind" flashed through his consciousness, as he weighed his options. Both women glared at him, Greta because she had been promised her disguise would work, Melissa because she knew as anyone with eyes to see could tell that there was absolutely no resemblance. "I'm prettier by far than this wannabe Melissa!" she hissed. "You have a LOT of explaining to do!"

"You fell for HER and I had to put on this two-bit disguise to make you like me, even though I have much more bodacious biceps than she does!" Greta screamed.

At this point, the two women

3strokes
June 22nd, 2007, 03:40 PM
At this point, the two women

........ paused for a moment, their eyes locked and then started roaming over each other's face and body (the eyes, roamed, not the two women). They both started breathing heavily (as Troy lay there -on his side, of course- not even having to look from one to the other), as they both started gravitating towards a point, situated approximately ............

Peter Cruise
July 1st, 2007, 11:46 PM
five miles from never, as they realized that their sunglasses, pumps and bags were slightly different and therefore, not worth fighting about. Troy appeared suddenly and led Melissa off to the point, where gentle waves were lapping at the foreshore and a brilliant sunset was just beginning.
"You know they just don't care about us" breathed Troy.
"It seem that we're just too...normal for them to see anything to identify with" returned Melissa, wiping away a tear.
"We'll show them!" vowed Troy "We'll butterfly to Japan. Let them envy us our eternal love!"
With that, they turned and dove as one into the gentle surf, stroking as one. As an inky blackness fell, one could faintly see the white spume of true love in the distance.

*************The End*************************************

FindingMyInnerFish
July 2nd, 2007, 07:40 AM
Epilogue

One year later:

The blissful butterflying bipeds (bear with me here as I try to sustain the consonance) baffled onlookers when they touched ground on the coast not of Japan but of Australia, pushed there by the currents, and were immediately...

(a) worshipped as deities and written up in every tabloid for miles around ("love bugs butterfly across Pacific" and such);
(b) snapped up by the swimming community in search of butterflying heroes and invited to all the talk shows where they soon announced a new butterfly event: the 100,000 meter butterfly.
(c) made rich, happy, and vastly successful, living happily on the royalties from books and instruction videos on such subjects as "Butter(fly) up your love life."

newmastersswimmer
July 4th, 2007, 12:23 PM
So is this story over already? I kind of liked the theme that 3 strokes was leaning towards in his last posting actually LOL! ...But I must say that the storyline you guys came up with was very entertaining indeed! Nice job everyone! LOL!

Bork

3strokes
July 4th, 2007, 02:16 PM
So is this story over already? I kind of liked the theme that 3 strokes was leaning towards in his last posting actually LOL! ...
Bork

So did I: (therefore, here's one more opportunity - for others to jump in. As for the theme itself and its sequels, I've already dreamt about a few episodes. Those two gals were/are/were grrrrrrrrrrreat together.)

........ paused for a moment, their eyes locked and then started roaming over each other's face and body (the eyes, roamed, not the two women). They both started breathing heavily (as Troy lay there -on his side, of course- not even having to look from one to the other), as they both started gravitating towards a point, situated approximately ............
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