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  1. The B Word (July-August 2014)

    by , July 1st, 2014 at 12:00 AM (SWIMMER Editorials)
    The screech of that 4:45 a.m. alarm is rude. Very rude. But you comply, trying to forget about what awaits you at the pool. If it’s suitable for aggressive workout swimming, the water will feel chilly. Jumping in it is the second worst moment of the day. The moon is out, your teammates resemble a zombie horde, and if you’d stayed in bed dreaming, you’d still be gliding across a polished wooden floor with a tall, handsome stranger, kickin’ it with a fly Viennese waltz.

    So what to do when you <gasp> no longer want to get out of bed before dawn and jump into a cold pool? Is taking a break an option?

    Nonswimmers have no problem filing Masters Swimming Burnout under first-world problems. “Why would anyone want to get up that early anyway? Now you can ____________ (garden, join your homeowners association, take polka lessons),” they suggest helpfully.

    But once you’ve invited swimming into your life, it’s hard to politely show it to the door like a distant relative, effuse about what fun you’ve had, and tell it you can’t wait to see it again next year.

    Many swimmers demarcate their lives into BS (before swimming) and S (swimming). In this lifelong sport, I’ve yet to meet anyone who wants to consider the permanence of AS (after swimming), so that leaves BTS (between swimming).

    So how does one behave in a BTS period? For starters, you might want to consider how you’ll be meeting the exercise need that your swimmer’s appetite demands. Super. That will be running and cycling, with a side dish of P90X and a giant slice of Zumba for dessert, please.

    What about reducing the number of practices? Maybe if you swim three times per week, instead of five or six? If you’re a sprinter, no problem, you might even maintain your current 50 freestyle time for another season with that plan, although you will lose your spot on the B relay. If you’re a distance swimmer, your prospects are more dismal. You’ll enter the 800 free at nationals with good intentions and feel terrible the entire time, especially when you see the scoreboard.

    Even with a reduced schedule, you’ll still want to stay in touch with your swimming friends, especially your lanemates. But is it proper etiquette to show up for the Saturday post-workout breakfast with dry hair? It happened once on our team a few years ago. We still speak of it only in hushed tones.

    What is it about swimming that makes it so hard to have a BTS hiatus? Is it the feeling we get at that perfect moment, right about the 175-yard mark after first jumping in? The chill is ebbing and your skin and soul are crackling—you’re about to reach the nirvana of weightlessness, perfect technique, and that delicate balance between effortless gliding and the grind awaiting you when the warm-up ends. (If only you could fast-forward to breakfast at that point.)

    But you stick it out, and as the practice is ending, the sun is rising, the ghoulish pallor of the zombie horde has magically transformed into a flushed, healthy glow and bright smiles, and that amazing sense of accomplishment and renewed vigor reminds you that you could have been sweating it out in a hot yoga studio or waiting for your turn on the leg press at the gym.

    But you weren’t, because you’re a swimmer. And whether you’re in the thick of a BTS period or not, once a swimmer, always a swimmer. This lifelong sport sticks around like a houseguest that never leaves. And in all honesty, that’s just the way we want it, isn’t it?

    Updated July 1st, 2014 at 10:33 AM by Editor

    Categories
    Staff Blogs
  2. Saturday afternoon workout

    by , June 14th, 2014 at 07:39 PM (Mixing it up this year)
    After a long day of coaching in the hot sun it was off to the pool.

    500 free
    500 free kick w/zoomers
    5x100@2:00 as 50 free/50 back w/paddles & bouy
    200 torque drill w/paddles
    200 1 arm fly w/zoomers
    100 fly
    500 free kick w/zoomers
    4x100 from blocks 25 sprint 75 easy free odds free evens fly
    100 EZ

    Total 3000 meters
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  3. 6|25|14 SCY

    Disobeyed personal orders to stay dry (ear infection) for a brief workout.

    400 warmup worth of free and drills

    4 x 50 fr from block on 5:00 + 50 easy
    • 30, 27, 27, 28


    5 x 25 fr from block + flip on 3:00 + 25 easy

    Breathing does not seem to slow me as much as before these days. So much less painfull when you breath more than 2 - 3 times per 50 sprints
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  4. Week 92 - Monday am (training camp)

    by , June 30th, 2014 at 09:10 AM (After a long rest)
    Yesterday was a warm windy day in Dallas and later in the day we grilled burgers and sausages and hung out around our pool with the kids; it was great fun. We decided that last night was going to be a movie night and both my kids love James Bond so we decided to watch skyfall. The plan was for popcorn and the movie however after about 30 mins both kids said this was boring and decided to go and play video games in there rooms(and watching a movie is boring?) I ended up falling asleep in the chair and my wife woke me up and told me to go to bed. With all this I ended up going to bed early(even by my standards) and had a good nights sleep.


    This morning was the first of our 11 swimming workouts during our training camp for worlds and I did not know what to expect. This is my third camp as a master and each of the prior two have been very different. On my first one where I was still getting back into swimming we did a lot of yardage swum aerobically, the last one was a lot of yardage but mixed in with lots of power tower sprint work. This morning was relative low yardage for the first workout with a high intensity main set. I am still quite sore from the past few weeks so I am not complaining about this mornings swim.


    Warm up
    400 free with snorkel
    6x50 catchup on :50


    Main sets
    8x100 with snorkel on 1:25
    12x50 kick on :50
    4x(50 fast on :40, 50 easy on 1min, 100 fast on 1:10, 50 easy on 1min)
    6x50 scull focused on catch with 10 seconds rest
    6x50 finger tip drag drill on 1min
    6x50 airplane drill on 1min


    Warm down
    500 with snorkel working on hand entry and straight over turns


    Total 4500LCM


    I did not have any pep this morning and everything felt like hard work. On the transition set of 8x100 I was holding 1:15s. On the kick I was holding :50s. On the 4 rounds of fast easy 50s and 100s I felt pretty bad, but my times were ok, going 31s on the fast 50s and 1:05s on the fast 100s. The rest of the workout we worked on hand entry and turns. My free is feeling pretty good technique wise.


    We will be lifting everyday this week and the plan for today is to head back to the pool at noon and lift Followed by swimming for a couple of more hours. It was our coach, Tom's 30th birthday yesterday and he posted this afternoons workout already so I know we are doing 30x200s. Should be fun after lifting

    Updated June 30th, 2014 at 09:25 AM by StewartACarroll

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  5. Still feel like I am recovering from the meet 2 weeks ago

    by , July 1st, 2014 at 07:23 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    I just don't feel like I have recovered completely but then again I have not been good about stretching, using the muscle stimulator and the foam roller. All my own fault.

    Today my fly felt good, but my attempt at sprinting is just not there yet. I have to add sprinting every day now or I won't be useful for relays.

    I will be losing a swim day on Friday due to the pool being closed unless I can find someplace else to swim. Both the Y and Aquatic Center are closed.

    500 free
    500 free kick w/zoomers
    100 free EZ
    10x50@1:15 fly w/monofin holding 40's
    200 free EZ
    5x100@2 free 30m sprint - 15m into wall to 15m out of wall
    200 free EZ w/snorkle

    Total 2500 meters
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  6. Workout 07/01/14: evening

    by , July 1st, 2014 at 09:43 PM (Maple Syrup with a Side of Chlorine)
    Took it easy last week and ended up going for a run after church on Sunday evening, making it a tad over one mile without stopping. For not having run since Thanksgiving, I was pleased.

    It was a very hot and humid day here in Vermont, so I took it easy during my day off. After grilling supper, I headed to Masters practice with our new expanded Tuesday time slot for the summer - 90 min! Found this Off the Beaten Path ...

    I got in 200 before we started.
    200 swim/100 kick/100 pull
    4 x 25 Build

    3 x
    - 200 Pull on :30sr (2:30 with snorkel, 2:21 with AP, 2:25)
    - 4 x 50 swim on :20sr (did IMO)
    - 4 x 25 swim on :10 (did IMO)
    - Masters Minute rest

    6 x 50 on 1:15 (fast under the flags; I did IM transitions)
    (I did 4 x 75 k/s/p on 1:15)
    200 loosen and out
    (Masters/Rec/3000 yds/80 min)
    ------------------------------------
    A good workout, and we were joined by a new swimmer, Jennifer. It's nice to have the extra 30 minutes and I am trying to spread the word so that our numbers will support the extra time.

    I ended up signing up for the Baystate Games in a few weeks at Springfield College MA). My first ever LCM meet! I will only be going for one day and plan to swim 400 Fr, 400 IM, 100 back, 50 free. GregJS is also swimming, so we'll be able to root each other on.
    Categories
    Swim Workouts , Planning
  7. Playing with the new toy

    by , July 10th, 2014 at 07:36 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    Since I have to have blood work drawn this morning I know enough not to swim hard raising my blood sugar. A nice easy swim today.

    500 free
    500 free kick w/zoomers
    200 free ez
    500 free
    5x100@2:15 back
    500 free w/ snorkel maintain 6 beat kick
    300 free kick w/zoomers

    Total 3000 meters
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  8. Week 94 - Wednesday

    by , July 16th, 2014 at 02:38 PM (After a long rest)
    I had a much better nights sleep last night and felt good in the water today. I still feel tired generally but feel good where I am relative to the taper.

    Warm up
    400 free with snorkel
    6x50 catchup

    Main sets
    4x(2x100 on 1:20, 2x50 back on 1min)
    6x100 kick on 2:15
    12x50 with tempo trainer set to 16 seconds with the goal of holding 32 with one beep of rest

    Warm down
    5x100 free on 1:40

    Total 3600LCM

    The 100s on 1:20 were harder than they should have been. The kick I held 1:45s and felt pretty easy. The pace set was hard work. I held the tempo but it was a lot of hard work. The last two I picked up and finished with 30s on these. 18days to go.
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  9. Workout 07/18/14: noon

    by , July 18th, 2014 at 02:41 PM (Maple Syrup with a Side of Chlorine)
    Quick dip today, meet warm up of 1400 yards + a fast 50 back (~:30). Feeling pretty good ahead of the meet tomorrow.

    Last night was the Midnight Madness event in our town, with the shops closing up around 4pm, then reopening from 7-12 with great sales, plus vendors on the sidewalks and specials at the local restaurants [pictures here: http://goo.gl/sQNr19]. After work, I met with my son at the chippie in our town for supper, then my wife for a little shopping before heading to a booth set up by my boss that highlighted deer ticks and lyme disease. They were very busy in the early evening with lots of questions, but as night fell the families went home and the tomfoolerly picked up. After the cops broke up something a bit down the street, my boss decided it was time to pack things up around 9:45. I then went with my daughter to get some new running sneakers and some shoes for work.

    It's a fun time, although when I was a kid the streets would be closed off but some poor behavior has kept the streets open to traffic. We used to be able to go to the CB Sports factory for great deals on winter coats/snowpants, and while some of those opportunities have ceased it is still a wonderful community event.

    Greg, you ready for tomorrow's 400 Free ???

    Updated July 18th, 2014 at 03:00 PM by rxleakem

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  10. Day 3 of Taper - It's getting too crowded

    by , July 30th, 2014 at 07:49 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    I don't know where all the non swimmers are coming from but they are starting to get in the way. I hope they don't keep hogging the lane space. I don't want to go back to the big practice because they don't kick more than a 100 per week if even that when I am doing 500-1000 per day since my kick stinks so bad.

    Today I felt sore, I guess I am not used to doing sprints even just a few. Still doing a few easier pace sets too.

    500 free
    500 free kick w/zoomers
    10x50@1:00 free w/bouy held 42's
    8x25@:45 dolphin shooters w/zoomers
    4x50 from block as 25 sprint/25 easy free odd sprints fly/even sprints free
    100 EZ
    5x100 drills w/zoomers & snorkle #1 kick streamline #2 catch #3 catch up at hips #4 kick arms at side #5 swim
    300 free kick w/zoomers
    200 free EZ

    Total 3000 yards
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  11. 2 miles OW

    by , August 1st, 2014 at 08:20 PM (Alex's swim journal)
    Yesterday I did 2000 (4 x thru [4 x 100 fr on 1:45; 1 x 100 bk on 2:00]) in 36 minutes.

    That was my last swim as a member of the Kenosha YMCA--sniff; I'll have to sign up with Waco YMCA as soon as I get down there. But it was a little tough walking out of the locker room for the last time as a resident.

    Today I did 2 miles at Lake Andrea, inside their 50 meter lap swim area... the one with the nasty left turn and tapering at one end... seems like a recipe for collisions. I was just happy to get in the mileage and be in the open air. I'll go there a couple more times before the move next week.
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  12. Week 98 - Saturday

    by , August 16th, 2014 at 09:38 AM (After a long rest)
    My family and I arrived home from Canada yesterday. After the week at worlds in Montreal we headed north on a train to Quebec City and had a great relaxing week seeing the sights of this wonderful old city. It really was fun being a tourist for a week. The closest I came to a swim workout was hanging out in the pool at the hotel with my daughter and father.

    This is morning I swam an easy 3k workout and felt hideous. I hurt in places I have never hurt before and had no feel at all for the water. It always amazes me how long it takes to get in shape and how quickly you loose it.

    Todays workout

    warm up
    400 free with snorkel
    6x50 catchup on :45

    main set
    5x100 pull with paddles on 1:30
    4x100 with snorkel on 1:30
    3x100 easy build by 25 on 1:30
    2x100 drill on 1:30
    1x100 kick on 1:30
    10x50 stroke free by 25 on :50

    warm down
    300 easy

    total 3000scy

    Despite feeling hideous today it was great getting back in the pool and I am so looking forward to getting back to training. I have a few ideas for some short term goals and hope to swim a few different events this fall along with my normal free events. I am likely to swim 3 SCM meets and a couple of kids meets this fall.

    My team mates from worlds are already talking about future meets and a number of my team mates brought up the world masters games in New Zealand in 2017.

    http://www.worldmastersgames2017.co.nz

    I am also seriously considering the European Masters championship in London in 2016. It will be one of the first major swimming meets at the London Olympic pool since it was reconfigured after the 2012 Olympics.

    All good old stuff to continue to ponder and work through over the next few weeks.
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  13. Dara, Stump, and Me

    by , February 11th, 2009 at 03:49 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    This just in:

    Charming Stump wins over crowds, judges

    Veteran dog comes out of retirement with record-breaking performance




    At age 10, crowd-charming Stump is 14 years older than I am, that is, after the well-known and oft-verified dog-to-human year conversion is applied.

    Stump has thus emerged as the oldest male Gold Medal winner in the history of competitive sports.

    This just in a long time ago:




    Dara Torres, then 41 and mother of tot, is oldest female in history to get three silver medals in Olympic history. In this picture, Vlog the Inhaler is surreptitiously sucking down great lungfuls of Dara's vapors.

    This not yet in:

    I have another grueling Bill White swimming practice tonight. To prepare for this, I have done my usual of late:


    • worked some in the morning
    • drank 16 ounces of soy milk, consumed one soy yogurt, and interviewed experts on the potential dangers of too much dietary soy
    • took a nap for about 45 minutes
    • awoke 20 minutes ago in a deep stupor of sleep inertia
    • brewed and am now consuming my second round of coffee of the day (it is now 3:30)
    • trying to burst out of my imprisonment of grogginess and effete-dom
    • mentally telling myself that I wil break my own pathetic record in the 200 backstroke at a dinky little Y meet this weekend
    • visualizing how I will do this by kicking SDKs as long as I can off of every turn
    • remembering yesterday's practice when I accustomed myself to flooded sinuses till this felt almost normal
    • and finally, feeling the vapors of ancient Dara fusing with the inspiration of even more ancient Stump, my more proper role model in life because A) he is a male, and B) he is a dog
    • and preparing myself for the missing link transition wherein I become the perfect 56-year-old woman-man-canine chimera bridging the gap between Dara's Silver Excellence and Stump's Gold Magnificence:



    Lordy! Where did this sudden hunger come from?

    (Note: thanks as always to the magnificent Rusty Scupperton for his Photoshopping bewonderment.)

    Updated February 12th, 2009 at 12:16 PM by jim thornton (photo link problems)

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  14. Hairstyles for Twins and other Taper Distractions

    by , May 16th, 2010 at 01:04 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Many of you are going to Nationals and hence have probably begun to cut your yardage down for the so-called "taper" period.

    Two-a-day workouts consisting of 16,000 meters per session have been reduced by at least 10 percent. I daresay some of the lazier masters swimmers are swimming no more than 12,000 meters total per day now, all in order to let their bodies "rest."

    Alas, when the body rests, the mind is free to run particularly riotous, or at least that is my experience.

    Perhaps some of you are feeling odd sensations in your shoulders and have begun to speculate on S.L.A.P. lesions and rotator cuff fraying. Perhaps digestive irregularities have caused you to wonder if a diet consisting on 10 percent fruits and vegetables, 10 percent whole grains, 10 percent small sticks you have found in the woods, and 70 percent Activia yogurt has been, perhaps, a bit ill-advised?

    Who wants to swim Nationals feeling slightly bloated?

    Hence your mind ruminates over and over again on whether today is the right time to drop the fruits, vegetables, and whole grains entirely, and go to the oft-recommended 100 percent small-sticks-and-Activia diet?

    If you are thinking such thoughts, chances are you are in need of a major distraction.

    Just as a magnificent race horse can only be calmed down by the presence, in his or her barn stall, of a friendly pony, goat, or some other cuddly friend animal, so does your current swimming thoroughbred status--oh, you know who you are, you magnificent specimens, you!--require the assistance of a little fuzzy animal friend or two to calm you down before your own big show in Atlanta.

    My twin brother John and I are more than willing to be those comical little animal friends for you.

    In this spirit, we have made a short film that is IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LIKE A LOT.

    It is on a subject that is of no little tangential interest to swimmers, as well: hair.

    To be sure, in this, the final swan song of the high tech body suit for men, the issue of hair is perhaps not quite so feverish as it will be next year at this time.

    But it is still of some interest.

    My brother told me this morning, "You are really going to have to like us to like this movie."

    He may be right. But I am betting that even people who hate us, or at the very least do not like us or are somewhat indifferent to us, will nevertheless like this movie regardless of their lack of affection for the hirsute protagonists.

    To reiterate: unlike some of my other efforts lately, this is a short film that is IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LIKE A LOT.

    Especially if you watch it quite a number of times and let it grow on you.

    I dare you to prove me wrong.

    Good luck at Nationals; good luck with the small sticks and Activia diet; and good luck managing to stifle your affection reflex for the Thornton twins and their glorious manes of hair from toe to shining heads.

    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YsDUUysELg"]YouTube- How to Hairdress Your Identical Twin[/nomedia]
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    Uncategorized
  15. Groin Disaster!

    by , October 15th, 2009 at 10:57 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Because my idiopathic (as yet) groin disaster is driving me batty with itching, tonight's vlog will be a bit simplified.

    I will be adding no pictures or videos, which I think can only pale in comparison to what your imaginations can supply.

    Moreover, I have lost too much sleep from the itching disturbing my sleep last night that I can't write more than a line or two of coherent prose.

    Thus permit me to approach the topic of fungi invasion of the crease between my left teste and inner thigh, at the very top, the upper left vertex of the isoscelean Delta of Venus (were I a woman), or perhaps the eye bag under Pinocchio's left orb is a bit more like it (were I a man), during a rare moment of Pinocchioian truth-telling, for there is no lie I could tell in all god's firmament that would allow my nose to elongate right now, so fierce is the itching, where was I?--oh, yes, the forms with which I will approach tonight's topic succinctly:


    • a haiku



    • copied comments from my Facebook page, the other arena where I have been soliciting free medical advice, so far without any serious suppliers of same.



    Part 1: Haiku

    Itchy groin mis'ry
    Scalding water from the tap
    Short-lived abatement


    Part 2: Facebook commentary

    (I posted a link to yesterday's vlog-- http://forums.usms.org/blog.php?b=5875 ; Floyd and Barb both gave it a "like" rating. Then the following comments appeared over time)

    Barb Weidner The ads are for jock itch and genital itch, lol.
    Yesterday at 8:18pm ·

    Leslie Livingston Maybe the ads will give Jim good sources for effective unguents and creams ...
    Yesterday at 10:17pm ·

    James Scott Thornton I think I need to get some Mycolog. Worked like a dream when I was younger.
    22 hours ago ·

    Richard A Skerrett There are tablets you can take that kill from within.
    15 hours ago ·

    James Scott Thornton Are they available in the US? The itch last night woke me up.
    12 hours ago ·


    Leslie Livingston I'm sure they are, Jim, but you have to go to a doc to get a scrip. The tablets work much faster on nasty funguses.
    11 hours ago

    Richard A Skerrett Definitely worth a visit to the doc. The tablets are most efficacious.
    11 hours ago

    James Scott Thornton Doctor appointment: tomorrow, 8:45 a.m. Assuming, that is, that the fungus--like a seed pod from outer space--has not by then completely subsumed my entire being and called the doctor's office back and announced, "Cancel my appointment. Anti-fungals are no longer necessary."
    8 hours ago ·

    Richard A Skerrett I think you have been reading too much science fiction. The fungus is a wily beast but has not evolved into a dialing organism yet - or has it? Maybe they have new strain in the Idaho wilderness.
    7 hours ago

    James Scott Thornton Part fungus, part wolverine, part Jimbo DNA, and part pure monstrosity!
    7 hours ago

    Jack Martin Fungus consists of millions of living organisms. As a form of life you should respect it's right to live and try to coexist with it! War against fungus is not the answer. Try to see the world through the fungi point of view! If the world didn't have fungus we wouldn't have penicillin!
    6 hours ago ·

    James Scott Thornton I would love to find a PETA member who would come and scrape off every single little fungi from my groin and save same from the horrible death I am praying modern medicine will bring them...

    You do raise a good point, though, Jack. I am being selfish, aren't I?

    Yikes that itches!
    6 hours ago

    Jack Martin "Selfish" is probably not the right analytical framework in this situation. I think we need to look at it through the cost benefit analysis which will be used in the new government health care package. Example: An 80 year old man needs a hip replacement for $100,000, he is only expected to live another 3-4 years, so a hip replacement is a waste... Read More of money. The money is better spent on psychological counseling for 100 career criminals, in order to convince them that rape, robbery and murder are, although an understandable reaction to their deprived childhoods, improper reactions to the stress of modern society.

    In your case this analysis progresses as follows: Jim Thornton's groin; no value to society and little value even to him (57 years old, 2 kids, etc., his groin has done all it's ever gonna do). The value of a new form of fungus: heck for all we know, this particular strain may cure cancer! Result: the fungus lives, Jim's groin?
    3 hours ago

    James Scott Thornton Jack, I can see why you are such an excellent prosecutor! A steady, rational, inarguable accumulation of factoids that lead to one inescapable conclusion:

    cut out Jim's hip and give it to the old man, then let the 100 career criminals feast on what's left.
    15 minutes ago


    Tom Patterson Just take out Bernie Madoff's hip, give it to the 80 year old and let the prisoners feast on what's left of Bernie Madoff's remains.
    11 minutes ago

    James Scott long as we're dissecting Bernie, can I have his groin for transplant?

    2 seconds ago

    Epilogue...or prologue?

    Doctor's appointment tomorrow at 8:45 a.m. Just took another scalding shower, a trick I learned for ameliorating (temporarily) the itch of poison ivy.

    In addition to the original small lesion, that looked like one of those between-the-toes cracks you can get from Athlete's Foot, like a tiny smirking mouth, I now seem to have developed a major allergic reaction to cheap generic drug store anti fungal foot creme applied to the groin. I followed this up with heavy duty cortisone creme prescribed for a finger fungus, and this seemed to do nothing but further hamper my body's attempt to repel the little invaders. And now, exacerbating it all, third degree burns from the shower in an attempt--as the Japanese poets might put it--achieve the bliss of "short-lived abatement."

    If I had the energy, I would try to add one further form of writing to tonight's vlog: the updated folk song.

    I have only one line so far:

    Where have all the groin doctors gone, long time passing?

    Dr. Dixon! Where the hell are you with my free sample of nystatin-oxycontin mustard plaster?

    Why hast thou forsaken me, Dr. Duxson?
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  16. PANE and MLE, Others to form alliance; Thorpe as spokesman?

    by , July 19th, 2010 at 03:24 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    They [noodlers] do seem to have a bitter hatred for actual swimmers.... perhaps that's grown out of the fact that some of them just can't do anything more athletic than that? (Not to say it’s not athletic, but I would venture to guess swimming is harder)

    --Post by
    [ame="http://forums.usms.org/member.php?u=19682"][B]bzaks1424[/"]U.S. Masters Swimming Discussion Forums[/ame]

    That's for sure, especially in my case! Those noodlers made my life a living hell! And, I truly believe that a big part of it was exactly what you stated. I think they resent the fact that I'm younger, more athletic,
    can actually swim,and, worse yet, can swim butterfly. I really think I was the victim of their insecurities, jealousy, and resentment. Even still, swimming DOES make me happier! There is no way I'm letting the noodlers get me down!

    --Post by
    [ame="http://forums.usms.org/member.php?u=18385"][B]ElaineK[/"]U.S. Masters Swimming Discussion Forums[/ame]

    on “Does Swimming Make You Happier” thread:
    [ame="http://forums.usms.org/showthread.php?t=16737"]Does swimming make you happier? - U.S. Masters Swimming Discussion Forums[/ame]


    *

    I think my fellow posters and closet sufferers of noodle prejudice or noodlism need to reserve judgment.

    I will stipulate that PANE, or the Professional Association of Noodle Exercisers, is
    not taken all that seriously in the sporting world, and indeed its bid to become an exhibition sport at the London Games remains a long shot at best.

    However, the sport's reputation may be changing.


    I have it from highly reliable sources that Heather Turnipseed, executive director for PANE and wife of Michael Turnipseed, PANE's CEO-for-Life, are now involved in serious negotiations with MLE (Major League Eating), IFCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating), and AICE (
    Association of Independent Competitive Eaters—“Home of Picnic Style Rules”) to form a strategic alliance/new sports league featuring a fusion of the two fastest growing fitness activities in the US today: noodle aquacize and high-speed hot dog ingestion.


    Executing a flawless backstroke up-the-lazy-river lollagag. It looks easy, but I can assure you it's anything but!



    You try wolfing down dozens of dogs while a hostile crowd yells, Choke! Choke!


    Your humble narrator, it should be pointed out, probably deserves at least a little credit for this new sports league if, indeed, it does get off the ground, promising to give legions of obese aging American's a new venue for athletic competition.




    The rough sketch by Jim Thornton which is on the cusp of launching a whole new Wide World of Sporting Ecstasy and Agony.


    Insiders tell me that PANE and the Hormel Corporation have jointly developed a gigantic, swim noodle/hotdog for use in a new highly telegenic biathlon.


    The giant hot dog, or Frankenfurter, has aspects of both the conventional dog and the recreational noodle. It is made of Styrofoam and pig snouts ground into a fine slurry, then congealed with sawdust collected from the abattoir flooring in a process dating back at least as far as Upton Sinclair's
    The Jungle.



    It's been a while since I read this book, but I am pretty sure this cover art depicts some kind of Slavic fellow wrestling a cow that he thinks is trying to cheat him.


    Competitors in the new duathlon will first execute a series of complex noodle aerobics maneuvers in the pool before quickly moving--either by ladder or hydraulic hoist--to dining tables set up on the pool's perimeter. The first to polish off his or her noodle will be declared the winner, provided, of course, that drug testing reveals no PEDs such as abnormal ghrelin levels and/or leptin suppressants.


    Besides large purses for victory courtesy of Avandia, Alli, and Olive Garden, the new league is likely to attract huge attention if superstar Ian Thorpe decides, as expected, to go pro next year.




    The Thorpedo in swimming shape then, and Noodle Eating shape now.


    Clearly, the biggest worry that league supporters now have is that Competitive Noodling will become so popular with world-class lallygagging face stuffers that the average person who now participates just for fun might become too intimidated to continue.


    To remedy this, United States Masters Swimming is considering adding a Noodle Eating division and using some of its more popular spokespersons to give clinics around the country.


    Nothing, of course, is certain in this unpredictable world of ours. But stay tuned. The following duo could soon be coming to a Noodle Swmorgasbord near you!



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  17. Ande's Swimming Blog

    by , September 17th, 2008 at 03:25 PM (Ande's Swimming Blog)
    Ande's Swimming Blog

    I swim for Longhorn Masters coached by Whitney Hedgepeth at the Texas Swim Center in Austin Texas.
    Swim: fly, back, free, and IM.
    50's & 100's,
    200's, 400's & 500's Sometimes,

    Events and Times

    Ask Ande

    Swim Faster Faster

    1980 & 81
    Coached by Paul Bergen in Austin, TX, high school JR & SR year

    1981 - 86
    Coached by Eddie Reese at the University of Texas at Austin
    swam 50 & 100 free, 100 fly, 100 back & 200 IM

    On March 23rd, 2005,
    I started posting details about my workouts and meets at
    http://www.usms.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4298
    my last post was September 19th, 2008
    Then it was closed

    http://andesswimmingblog.blogspot.com

    Updated December 9th, 2008 at 11:58 AM by matysekj

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  18. Tuesday, Oct. 7

    by , October 7th, 2008 at 03:19 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    SCY, solo:

    750 warm up (swim, kick, drills)

    Hypoxic SDK set:

    10 x 25 shooters with MF on :35
    1 minute rest
    10 x 25 UW fly spin drill with MF on :35 (this is one of my fav drills, hadn't done it in awhile)

    Main set (one of JMiller's workouts modified)(shoulder a bit sore, swam with fins):

    1 x (4 x 100 free + 50 IM on 2:30)
    1 x (4 x 100 kick + 50 free on 2:30)
    2 x (4 x 50 fly or fly drill on 1:00 + 2 x 100 free on 2:00)
    2 x (4 x 50 back on :45 + 2 x 100 kick on 1:30)

    100 EZ
    50 back AFAP with fins from push (cramped) (:27)
    200 C/D

    Total: 4300
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  19. Wednesday, October 8, 2008

    by , October 8th, 2008 at 11:32 AM (A comfort swimmer's guide to easy swimming)
    SCY with Carrie

    Warmup
    300 swim, did 150 free/150 back
    3 x 100 kick, 1-2 on back on 2:10, 3 breast kick with board
    4 x 50 as 25 drill/25 swim dps
    8 x 25 on :40 IMO

    Main Set
    8 x 100 on 2:00, odds IM, evens free, (ave 1:30 on IM, 1:22 on free)
    8 x 25 kick on back, on :45 done as 1/2 UW SDK - 1/2 flutter kick on surface
    (Goal was to count kicks on 1st one, then hold that count and try for more dist. Was doing 12-13 yds on 15 kicks)
    6 x 50 back on 1:00
    4 x 50 on 1:15, 1 & 3 25 fly/25 free and 2 & 4 25 free/25 fly

    100 free/DAB to cool down

    2600 yards


    45 minute spin class at noon.


    I had some extra time in the evening so I got out the Monofin and went to the pool for about an hour and did the following.

    Short Warmup consisting of:
    200 swim free and back
    2 x 100 flutter and dolphin kick on back
    2 x 50 drill

    Main Set
    4 x 100 kick w/ monofin on 1:45, odds on back, evens on belly w/board. (ave 1:12-15)
    4 x 50 free on :55
    8 x 25 spin drill w/ monofin on :45, by doing 4 kicks in each position, I can almost cover the entire 25 in 1 cycle
    4 x 50 free on :55
    rest an additional 1:00
    50 fly as 25 at about 90% then 25 afap. went :34
    cooldown with 200 easy free and DAB

    Total 1750 y

    Updated October 9th, 2008 at 01:22 PM by poolraat

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  20. The Night Strangler, Part 1

    by , May 9th, 2010 at 11:16 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Too tired to explain, but I will try to follow up soon with more details.

    In the middle of magical thinking.

    A cure! A cure!

    If nothing else, perchance a blow hole?

    On this note, I bid you all a good night. I wish I could go gently into mine.

    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMpL5zIuN2M"]YouTube- The Night Strangler Part 1.[/nomedia]
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