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  1. The Inclusive Sport—It's All Good! (September-October 2010)

    by , September 1st, 2010 at 12:00 AM (SWIMMER Editorials)
    We’ve all heard and experienced how wonderful swimming is. I don’t need to belabor that point. So many of you write to tell us how swimming has changed your lives. The lifesaving form of exercise that has allowed you to walk again, date again, go off your medications, etc. The physical benefits of our sport are pretty much universally accepted—and we love that.

    But what is it about the less tangible benefits of being around people who seem different from people in other sports? Why do swimmers seem to be a little more easygoing when it comes to acceptance and inclusiveness? Is it because as kids, swimmers train together—boys and girls? Until boys get to the 13-14 age group, they are often accustomed to being beaten by girls, who develop earlier. Does this make them more accepting and more respectful of women later in life?

    Are swimmers more tolerant of differences because of the unique differences within the sport? For pool swimming, there are four different strokes, contested at nine different lengths in three different courses, which add up to 53 different pool events. The muscular freestyle sprinter who just can’t master the breaststroke learns to respect the 98-pound natural breaststroker in the next lane over who sails past with ease, regardless of size or gender. And the differences in open water swimming are another whole world to explore: lakes, rivers, the deep blue sea; short and long distances. The physiological differences among people often guide them to the different strokes and events, and there is something for everyone.

    Maybe swimmers are more tolerant because of the “alone time in a group” phenomenon of a swim practice; each swimmer in his or her own water world, each with different goals and specialties, yet all working together as a group, sharing the water.

    In this issue, we meet USMS member Tyler Duckworth, lifelong swimmer, reality TV star, and gay man who has found that, with few exceptions, the swimming community doesn’t really care about his sexual orientation. In Jim Harper’s profile, we also learn that Duckworth has found more people outside the swimming community who have had trouble reconciling his sexuality with his athletic success.

    We also review another member’s newly published autobiography chronicling life as a gay, black swimmer. Jeff Commings, too, found that he was somewhat shielded from discrimination in the swimming world. Both of these men are accomplished swimmers who have been judged on their merits as athletes. Their differences, and the differences and inclusive nature of our members, are part of what make U.S. Masters Swimming such a great organization.

    Updated July 1st, 2014 at 10:54 AM by Editor

    Categories
    Staff Blogs
  2. Triple, Tuesday, Aug. 31

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 09:01 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    Drylands:

    pull ups, 3 x 4
    I did these in my garage. I'm a complete and utter weakling after not doing any pull ups or chin ups for many months.

    push ups, 1 x 25

    power wheel roll outs, 2 x 25
    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPw1MORcD7c"]YouTube- Steve Maxwell Power Wheel Roll-Outs[/nomedia]
    (these really work the forearms as well as the core)

    power wheel pike ups, 2 x 10
    http://monkeybargym.com/pdf/Power%20Wheel.pdf
    (holding the pike up as they mention here would be absolute torture!)

    power wheel knee tucks or jackknifes, 2 x 15
    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl1C3ROI4zs"]YouTube- Power Wheel Pt.2[/nomedia].

    power wheel hamstring curls, 2 x 15
    http://www.strength-videos.com/lower...heel-leg-curl/.

    Summary: power wheel = device of torture!


    P90X Kenpo, 60 minutes:

    This is a fun martial arts type workout with 10 minutes of stretching at the beginning and 45 minutes of cardio. This is my second time doing this DVD and I like the balancing/speed elements of it.

    Description:

    http://workoutjourney.com/p90x-kenpo-x
    http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article...plained/833554


    Swim/SCY/Solo:

    Although I was slightly apprehensive after the vigorous drylands, I stuck with my plan of doing a modified Tall Paul workout focusing on fast kicking. I didn't give out until the very end.

    Warm up:

    700 various

    Transition Set:

    8 x 75 @ 1:20 w/fins
    25 stroke + 25 easy free + 25 underwater dolphin kick
    I did the 25 strokes in IM order.
    I did 4 belly & 4 back UW shooters.
    It was surprisingly hard to do the last 25 underwater despite coffee breaking the second turn.

    Speed Work:

    16 x 25 kick, no fins @ :35
    3 moderate + 1 fast
    I did them flutter kick w/board

    50 EZ
    50 fast evil w/fins (:31)
    50 EZ

    8 x 50 kick, no fins @ 1:30

    I did them backstroke kick, 14 + 12 SDK per 25, and went 33 high on all of them. (Might have left half a second early on a couple.) I took 1 stroke at the turn and did a one stroke backstroke finish (though I don't think the latter helped my times any). I was really happy with these times, faster than I would have expected after the drylands.

    75 EZ
    50 fast evil w/fins (high 31-32)
    75 EZ

    2 x 100 kick w/fins @ 2:00

    These were supposed to be 4 x 100 fast @ 3:00 in Paul's workout. But my legs were gassed and cramping. So I did one fast with fins (:58) and one easy. I didn't feel like too much of a quitter though.

    200 EZ

    Total: 2850

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Commentary:

    Exercise looked rather bleak at the start of the day. I spent the morning and early afternoon driving to and fro and filling out school forms. I was planning on a swim in the afternoon, but my babysitter, Mini Fort, got called in to work 3 hours early and my son was at cross country practice. Mini is "making bank" this summer. So I was stuck at home for hours with two 10 year olds. At first, I was a bit growly about this situation. But I got out the instrument of torture and started on drylands. Epic fail on pull ups. But then I was always better at chin ups anyway ... Then I fired up the fast moving Kenpo DVD. At around 5:00, I headed to the pool, a bit worried that it would be packed. Happily, it was not and I had my own lane for all but the transition set. My arms were pretty dead from drylands yesterday, so a fast kicking workout was probably ideal. But I was gassed by the end. Can't believe it was only 2850. I feel like it was double that. It probably didn't help to only have about 30 minutes between the Kenpo and the swim, but that was the only way I was swimming.

    Tomorrow is booked solid too ... Ideally, I'd like to get in a recovery/technique swim and some yoga. Perhaps I can finally train with Speedo on Thursday?


    WSJ Article on Exercise Equipment including TRX:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...l?KEYWORDS=TRX


    Purchases:

    5 nose clips (speedo competition)
    Finis Z2 zoomer fins (for fast 25s), http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/3568.htm
    FAST paddles (for sprinting), http://www.tropicalpenguin.com/FAST_...im_Paddle.html
    Jonathan Franzen's new novel, Freedom

    Updated August 31st, 2010 at 11:37 PM by The Fortress

    Categories
    Swim Workouts , Strength Training and Dryland Workouts
  3. Short Stuff Monday

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 05:14 PM (Adventures in Swimming)
    Coached the Sharks SCY
    Swam this workout after work.

    Warmup
    S-300 K-200 P-200

    Set I:

    PULL 4 X 125 @ MODERATE INTERVAL
    1ST 75- WORK DISTANCE PER STROKE
    LAST 50- BUILD UP SPEED WITHOUT SHORTENING STROKE

    Set II:

    SWIM 8 X 25 @ EZ INT.
    ODD-STROKE DRILL (CHOICE)
    EVEN-SWIM

    Set III:
    FPSO= Fastest Possible Sendoff (Around :05r)
    So say you swim a :35 interval 1=:40, +15 = :55
    SWIM 18 X 50
    • 4 @ FPSO/ 3 @ +15 (DESCEND 1-3)
    • 3 @ FPSO/ 3 @ +15 (DESCEND 1-3)
    • 2 @ FPSO/ 3 @ +15 (DESCEND 1-3)

    100 EZ
    * FAST INTERVAL 50's ARE FREESTYLE
    * +15 INTERVAL 50's ARE YOUR CHOICE

    Set IV:

    Do this 4x

    • 50 Kick :05r
    • 50 Swim ez :05r
    • 25 Kick Fast :05r
    • 25 Swim Fast :30r


    Warm Down

    200 25 STROKE DRILL /25 SWIM EZ
    TOTAL 3,200
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  4. Monday, 8/30/10

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 05:02 PM (A comfort swimmer's guide to easy swimming)
    SCM, with Carrie

    Was a bit tired from the 5k yesterday so went real easy today.

    Warm – up
    300 Swim – 200 Drill – 100 Scull
    8 x 50/1:00 IM Order 25 kick – 25 Strong Swim

    Main Set:
    1 x 400 swam as
    50 Fly – 2 x 25 Fly
    50 Bk – 2 x 25 Bk
    50 Br – 2 x 25 Br
    50 Fr – 2 x 25 Fr
    10-15 sec rest after each swim

    1 x 300 back: 100 swim – 50 kick – 100 drill – 50 swim continuous.
    rest 1:00
    1 x 200 Free: 100 – 50 – 50 (10 sr in between each)
    rest 1:00
    1 x 300 free: 100s – 50k -100d – 50s continuous

    Cool down
    100 easy

    Total: 2300 meters
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  5. Catching up

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 04:55 PM (A comfort swimmer's guide to easy swimming)
    I've been a bit lax about posting since last Friday. I'll just summarize what I did for the weekend.

    Saturday, 8/28/10
    Worked out in Boise with my coach on deck. Did a long warmup then worked on technique and turns. Total yards about 3000.

    Sunday, 8/29/10
    Did the 5k postal swim.
    Time was slow, but I didn't die and held a consistant pace throughout.
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  6. Tonight is the night

    We will be meeting pilot of the Pace Arrow, Paul Foreman at the Dover Marina at 1:30 AM. After loading up and a brief ride, I should be jumping in at Samphire Hoe between 2:30 and 3:00 AM.

    Today there were quite a few successful crossings, including 4 of our neighbors here at Varne Ridge. Evelyn and David had the flags of Australia, Great Britain, Norway, and the US of A. The american was Joe Locke from San francisco with an awesome 10 and a half hour swim. The English women's record was broken, and an Aussie right next door swam a 9 1/2 hour crossing.

    From Varne Ridge, tomorrow, my friend and current house mate Ian Hodgeson and I will be representing the USA, and 2 irish swimmers will also be taking their turn at the crossing.

    Lots more to share, but its time to try and get a bit of rest.........
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  7. Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 AM Workout -09/01/10

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 02:41 PM (Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 a.m. Workout)
    SCY
    WARM UP:
    4 X 100 1:40
    1 X 200 3:20
    4 X 75 1:15
    1 X 200 3:00
    4 X 50 :45
    1 X 200 -

    7 minute vertical kick: 50 seconds on/10 off
    10 X 25 sprint kick :45

    1 X 100 1:30
    8 X 50 :50
    1 X 200 2:50
    6 X 50 :45
    1 X 300 4:00
    4 X 50 :40

    1 X 200 IM 3:30
    1 X 100 easy free 2:00
    1 X 100 IM 1:45
    1 X 100 easy free 2:00
    Repeat for three rounds

    WARM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00

    5000Y
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  8. Tue Aug 31st 2010

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 10:43 AM (Ande's Swimming Blog)
    Tue Aug 31st 2010

    Subscribe to Ande's Swimming Blog

    Swim Faster Faster is approaching 200,000 views

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    LCM
    Whitney Coached
    6:00 TO 8:00 am
    Austin Mabel Davis pool
    swam with tyler, todd, larry, tenielle james & andrew
    dove in 6:40ish
    wore brief

    WARM UP
    600

    MAIN SET

    5 x 200 on 3:15 desc
    done 100 fr 100 IM

    400

    4 x 200 IM desc on 3:15

    300

    3 x 200 fr neg split desc on 3:15
    went 2:25 on 3rd one

    assigned 300
    did skipped it

    Updated September 1st, 2010 at 10:24 AM by ande

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  9. Sprint leg work

    by , August 31st, 2010 at 07:32 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    i guess that is the best title for this workout. Heavy legs.

    10x50@:50 Free
    500 Free kick w/fins every 3rd 25 moderate
    5x50@1:10 Free rt arm only w/paddle
    8x25@:40 Free kick every 3rd sprint went 26 and 27
    5x50@1:10 Free lt arm only w/paddle
    8x25@:40 Free kick every other sprint held 26-27
    5x50@1:00 Free paddle on rt arm 4 kicks on the paddle hand
    8x25@:40 Free kick all sprint went 26,26,27,27,28,28,28,28
    5x50@1:00 Free paddle on lt arm 4 kicks on the paddle hand
    2x200@:15R Free easy

    Total 3000 yards
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  10. Twisty, Monday, Aug. 30

    by , August 30th, 2010 at 08:51 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    Spent virtually the entire day as a taxi service. Managed to sneak in a mid-day workout at the gym.

    Drylands:

    broomstick twists, 1 x 25
    long arm crunches, 2 x 25
    dead bugs on bosu, 2 x 25
    twisting med ball slams, 3 x 15
    windshield wipers, 2 x 25
    russian twists, 25 x 2 x 25
    elevated push ups, 3 x 15
    one legged squats w/15 lb DBs, 1 x 15 each leg
    dead lift, 100 x 2 x 10
    overhead squats w/25 lb broomstick, 2 x 15
    single arm row, 40 x 2 x 10, each arm
    total ab machine, 100 x 2 x 25
    back extensions w/twist w/10 lb weight, 1 x 25

    RC work: external and internal rotators, ball on wall, arm circles, prone scapular scrunch, seated straight arm dips

    New exercises:

    1. stability ball twister, 3 x 25
    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYhTHh0IgRI"]YouTube- Dryland Exercises for Swimmers[/nomedia]

    This was fairly easy flexibility wise; balancing was somewhat more of a challenge at first, but I got the hang of it. I had the ball in the wrong place though. It looks like it would be easier to balance if you have the ball on your thighs like the person in the vid. I did it with the ball closer to my waist.

    2. reverse scoops w/overhead twist w/25 lb plate, 2 x 25

    In this exercise, you do the Ryan Lochte reverse scoop with a plate and then, with the weight directly overhead and arms straight, twist to the left and then to the right and back down to squat position. Because of the weight, this exercise seems better at building rotational strength than the stability ball twister.

    3. plank push, 2 x 10, each side

    I just made this name up. When doing this, you start in a side plank with your feet on top of each other on a bosu. One arm on the floor and put the other hand on your hip. Then push your hips toward the ceiling. This is somewhat challenging. If you can't balance this way, you could put the second hand on the floor to provide more stability. This reminds me of a TRX exercise. And remind me that I still need to watch my TRX DVD.

    10 minutes of stretching

    Note: I saw what I think was a football player doing reaction drills with a trainer where he jumped forward or sideways on a whistle. It occurred to me that a forward jump reaction drill would be good for starts.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Commentary:

    I did a very twisty dryland workout really working on the lower and mid back. I should have added the cable twists w/yoga ball to this workout.

    After I finished, I headed toward the pool where Mini Fort works to swim an easy 1500 or so and pick her up. But minutes before I arrived a kid pooped in the pool and it closed early. Really, the number of these incidents this summer is at some stratospheric level ...

    Hoping to swim and do yoga or P90X tomorrow. My Mom travelled back home to Tucson today, so hopefully that will free up more time.

    Drill:

    Using the monofin to help with SDKs:

    http://www.goswim.tv/entries/5913/tu...---step-5.html

    Updated August 31st, 2010 at 11:50 AM by The Fortress

    Categories
    Strength Training and Dryland Workouts
  11. Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 AM Workout -08/31/10

    by , August 30th, 2010 at 01:17 PM (Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 a.m. Workout)
    SCY
    WARM UP:
    4 x 100 1:40 1:30
    2 X 200 3:20 3:00
    Twice through. Round 1 intervals left, round 2 right.

    2 X 200 kick 4:15
    4 X 50 kick 1:15
    8 X 25 sprint kick :45

    1 X 100 free 1:45
    1 X 100 stroke 2:00
    1 X 50 free 1:00
    1 X 50 stroke 1:00
    Four times through.
    IM'ers: round 1: fly, round 2: back, round 3 breast, round 4: choice, no free.

    9 X 100 1:55
    Choice.
    #3-6-9 are fast.

    100 easy swim
    100 @ 100% choice

    WARM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00

    4900Y
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  12. Mon Aug 30 2010

    by , August 30th, 2010 at 11:00 AM (Ande's Swimming Blog)
    Mon Aug 30 2010

    did not swim fri, sat or sun
    only trained Thu last week


    Subscribe to Ande's Swimming Blog


    LCM
    Whitney Coached
    6:00 TO 8:00 am
    Austin Mabel Davis pool
    swam with tyler, nate, ned, chris, larry, paul, james, & max
    dove in 6:40ish
    wore brief

    WARM UP
    5 - 600

    MAIN SET
    2 rounds of:
    400 fr on 6:00
    2 x 200 fr on 3:00
    4 x 100 fr on 1:30
    400 K moderate
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  13. 8/30 Workout

    by , August 30th, 2010 at 10:16 AM (Random Nonsense)
    Warm up
    - 200 swim
    - 300 kick with fins
    - 200 back
    Main Set
    - 50 back
    - 100 free fast (1:01)
    - 150 back recovery
    - 200 free fast (2:07)
    - 250 back recovery
    - 200 free fast (2:05)
    - 150 kick with fins recovery
    - 100 free fast (1:00)
    - 50 kick with fins recovery
    - 8x50 descend* 1-4 (:31, :30)
    Cool down
    - 200 back
    Transition (skipped this earlier by accident)
    - 4x100 drill swim by 50
    Cool down 2
    - 100 back

    * I didn't descend, just swam 3xEZ, 1 fast. Still having a hard time breaking 30 from a push.

    Those 200s might be the fastest I have swim in practice from a push. The second 200 and second 100 were a little surprising as I was still feeling the effects of the first 100 and 200.

    The mountain was actually given as a combo of swim, kick, pull.

    Lazy Wife made her first appearance at practice since Feb and was happy I forced her to go. She discovered that her shoulders like the metallic green children's kick board.
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  14. Another great Freestyle day

    by , August 30th, 2010 at 07:28 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    Though I seemed to have issues with breathing during my main set I still managed a great time.

    Did some wieght lifting yesterday but really didn't feel the effects during this workout.

    10x100@1:45 Free
    500 Free kick w/fins 25easy/25mod/25fast
    1650 Free w/paddles & bouy broken on :10R final time 23:09 -1:40 = 21:29 these were broken as the following 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 laps

    200 Free kick easy w/fins
    150 Free easy

    Total 3500 yards
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  15. Week-end Recovery

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 09:54 PM (Swimming, Life, and Other Stuff!)
    It's hard to believe I've already been back to school for 3 full weeks!
    I am very tired by friday nights but I've vowed to not leave the school premises till I have Monday's lessons complete and on my desk, music files all set on ipod, all equipment ready to go, and a light cleaning job. As I sit here Sunday night I'll have to say it feels good to not be scrambling around and worrying about monday!

    I was totally non-productive this week-end. Basically I swam, relaxed, and shopped a little. (oh I guess I did a little laundry)
    Here's the week-end rundown:

    Friday Nite: 2,800 ez workout of mixed strokes at the Monon solo. Dinner at some salad place complete with chard. Walked the pug.

    Saturday: A delightful morning at Forest Park. Workout was 4,000 lcm of all freestyle (hard!) Coffee and chatter on the deck afterwards.
    Yardwork, reading in the sunroom, shopping with marty. Dinner at Champp's with older daughter! BBC dvd "The Office" season # 1. Sleep

    Sunday: Another great Forest Park morning. 3,800 lcm workout (I skipped the warm-up). Egg sandwiches and coffee on deck afterwards!
    Afternoon: Moto-cross GP race! Hot but very exciting! Beer flowed freely! Dinner at a new Mexican Cafe! I like CHILL week-ends!
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  16. Last LCM Workout of the Summer

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 09:02 PM (Adventures in Swimming)
    Swam last LCM of the summer today with the Sharks.
    Unless they keep the pool open (Doubtful)

    Lots of guest swimmers today, around 10
    It's an administration nightmare to take
    care of by myself with that many guest.
    But oh well. Somebody's got to do it!

    Put LCM Lane lines in. (4)
    300 Swim, 200 Kick, 200 Pull (Again)
    8 x 50 IM order twice :10 or so rest
    4 x 100 Descend :15r
    2 x 200 Choice
    4 x 100 Descend again
    8 x 50 Choice

    Warm down choice.
    Take LCM Lane lines out.

    I felt like a turtle today.
    It was just hard to get moving.
    The water was a bit on the cold side due to
    a few nights of temps in the 50's
    So that may have been it.
    At least that what I'd like it to be :-)
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  17. Next to Last Saturday Outside

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 09:00 PM (Adventures in Swimming)
    I really enjoy swimming outside. It just
    seems like there is more fresh air than in a natatorium.

    Coached the Sharks SCY, 90 Min

    Warm up
    300 Swim, 200 Kick, 200 Pull

    Then the fun begins:

    8 X 25 ODD DRILL, EVEN SWIM :10 R
    7 X 50 BUILD TO 80% ON EACH ONE :15 R
    6 X 75 25 EZ / 30 HARD~WORK TURN / 20 EZ :15 R
    5 X 100 BUILD BY 25, MAINTAIN TIME FOR ALL :15R
    4 X 125 DESCEND :20R
    3 X 150 BACK/BREAST/FREE BY 50 :20 R
    2 X 175 DPS / PULL IF YOU WANT TO :20 R / 2:00 R
    1 X 200 BUILD FROM HARD TO PAINFULL

    That was 3000 if you did it all

    10 X 50 ODDS THINK FORWARD AND STRONG CATCH
    EVENS SWIM ALL ON :20R +/-
    1 X 300 25 Kick / 25 Swim

    Warm down....
    Categories
    Uncategorized
  18. Jimslie's Invierno: Day 2, the Resurrection

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 05:15 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    On the previous episode of Jimslie's Inferno....

    Our protagonist swam a horrible 200 LCM freestyle at the U. Maryland pool partly because of leg cramps, a missed turn, the lack of a cheating full-body suit, but mainly due to being a bad, bad swimmer.

    He then partially redeemed himself on the 50, which was exactly 1/2 second slower in jammers than his 50 the previous year in a B70.

    But just as he thought he was escaping from Swim Meet Hell, a length miscount during the pathetic 1500/1600 dragged him back down into Patheticon Redux.

    Afterward, he slunk back to the Livingston-Thornton Compound to try to recover as best he could before the second and final day of humiliation...




    Deeply despondent about his performance during Day No. 1 at Colonies Zones LCM meet, Jimslie borrows clothing items from Leslie and tries to fight off the full-body chills that have been wracking his cramp-riddled physique. Perspicacious viewers will note the reflection of Leslie (holding the camera) and legendary distance swimmer, Michelle Kagy-Schwartz (nourishing her ample bosom out of what appears to be a dog food bowl.)




    Michelle post-bosom nourishment.

    ___________________________________________

    Hopefully, I have not lost anyone with the brief recap above, but if so, please simply revisit http://forums.usms.org/blog.php?b=11260 and join the 485 viewers so far who have tremendously enjoyed living my abject swimming meet misery in a vicarious way.

    But enough about the distant past. It is time now to move onwards towards recalling in detail the marginally less distant past.

    I retired early, hooked myself up to the CPAP machine, read some more of The Girl Who Played with Fire in a bed where bad things are done, nodded off, and dreamed of my new residence as a swimmer, that is to say:



    Picture courtesy of the magnificent Chicken of the Sea, a woman who I hope, like all women readers of my vlog, will not be offended by the pervasive male notion that there is no worse place for a male athlete to reside during a meet than the Platypusary; and no better place to reside in celebration of meet accomplishments afterwards than the same. Alas, for Jimslie, the timing of his residency here was precisely the opposite of optimal.



    As I slumbered, I am not sure what exactly the energetic Livingston girls were up to, though it is possible they were filming a television commercial for cold creme. Which one is the daughter? Which one is the mother? Who knows? They look like mono-zygotic twins, one of whom has had a gene mutation shortly after the first cellular replication of the zygote, a mutation leading to hair color the likes of which is rarely seen outside of Lucille Ball and/or Carrot Top.

    I got up, as is my new wont on CPAP, around 6:30 a.m., crept downstairs in my pink socks, read The Washington Post, and gave myself a pre-meet pep talk:

    You suck. You are a bad, slow, pathetic worm of a swimmer. You have been deluding yourself for years thanks to those ridiculous body suits you have been wearing. You are not a swimmer at all. You are not even much of a body kayaker, but without your body kayak, it is a wonder you can swim at all. I am surprised the lifeguards let you dive in without first mandating a deep water test.

    But on the plus side, with this meet you have a chance to set a new personal low water mark. You are swimming so slowly that only an utterly incompetent person would not be able to improve on your performance in the future. Of course, the odds are overwhelming that you are just such an utterly incompetent person.


    There's something about my daily affirmations that almost always perk me up. When Leslie, Rich, Michelle, and I headed back to The University of Maryland's world-famous
    MIDOL Extended Relief (R)
    Natatorium Complex
    , (call me old-fashioned, but I really this corporate purchasing of naming rights for athletic facilities has gone too far), I was determined to show the world what I was really made of--putrescent foul-smelling pustulent rot!

    At the meet, another familiar forumite had arrived to cheer on her fellow losers:



    Alison Simpson SwinShark Moore and I do an impression of narcoleptic lemurs on meth. We are two of the very few forumites who are 100 percent committed to President Obama and continue to send his re-election campaign as much money as we can possibly afford. Why? Because we both know we will be going on welfare soon.



    After the joke photos have been taken, Alison and I turn serious. We point out each other's respective swimming infirmities. In Alison's case, it is a recently removed Manitou from her right ankle, a "cyst" that had threatened to grow into a malevolent Indian Midget God; in my case, it is an enormously fatted gut filled with visceral fat, precisely the sort of victual favored by Manitous.

    After warm-up, I noted that my legs--though a bit less cramp-prone than the day before, thanks to A) the pink socks, and B) Leslie's kindly agreement to raise the air-conditioning setting up to 67 degrees as opposed to 66, my toes were nevertheless continuing to move under their own volition, that is, with no conscious input from me. This desultory shifting around, though normal enough in my restlessly flaccid manhood, is nevertheless not the norm in my toes and invariably presages problems with cramps.

    I thus initiated a series of stretching maneuvers and anointment of the piggies with hot water in the shower.



    Jimslie shows the other Jimslie how to stretch the pectoral muscles beneath freshly shaved moobs (male boobs). Note how the other Jimslie has absolutely no need to shave her own foobs thanks to the continuing legalization by FINA of enormous technical body suit covering of female flesh. Really, if FINA had any interest whatsoever in fairness, Leslie, Eney, Michelle, et al should be forced to wear male jammers and modesty pasties. Note: I may have to vlog in the future about my campaign to mandate FINA-approved pasties for female masters swimmers. If I forget to do this, please remind me.

    As I climbed the blocks for today's first event, the 400 m freestyle, I felt my thighs cramp slightly. I told myself the following:


    • Don't dive with gusto or the lifeguards are going to have to use the hook on you.
    • Swim the first 50 slightly out of your comfort zone; the next 100 easy; the next 50 slightly outside your comfort zone; the next 100 easy; then build the last 100.
    • If you suck, you will have established a new time you can beat in the future. If you don't suck...well, you are going to suck.

    Last year's time, in a B70 at Indy, was:

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive

    1 35.14 35.14
    2 1:15.38 40.24
    3 1:54.79 39.41
    4 2:34.19 39.40
    5 3:12.20 38.01
    6 3:49.58 37.38
    7 4:25.50 35.92
    8 4:58.31 32.81

    Imagine my delight, therefore, when I looked up at the scoreboard for this year's race and saw that I had beaten this (albeit slightly) in a pair of jammers! Woo, thank god, hoo!

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive
    1 34.84 34.84
    2 1:14.68 39.84
    3 1:54.11 39.43
    4 2:32.32 38.21
    5 3:10.71 38.39
    6 3:48.23 37.52
    7 4:24.40 36.17
    8 4:58.22 33.82

    Adding to my delight here was the fact that my second 200 split was only .1 slower than my actual 200, with a dive, the day before, adding more evidence that the cramps and missed turn, more than total suckiness of body and character, had accounted for yesterday's pitiable performance in my best event.

    And adding even more accelerants on my smoldering bonfire of joy and redemption: thanks to this year's relatively pedestrian swims in the 400 in my age group peers, today's 4:58.22 actually put me in third place nationally in the event rankings (though I understand another fellow, who swam worlds masters, is also ahead of me):

    1 Wood, Larry W56 4:53.58 TXLA USMS 2010 Summer National Championships

    2 Guadagni, Peter M55 4:57.40 WCM USMS 2010 Summer National Championships

    3 Thornton, James58 4:58.22 TPIT 2010 Colonies Zone LCM & 6th Annual Terrapin Cup

    If I'd known how close I was to glory, perhaps I would have swum a few more of the 8 lengths outside my comfort zone.

    At this point, I was a little confounded. My 50 was decent, 200 awful, 400 decent, and 800/1500-1600 awful. Part of the reason I came to this meet was to see what effect the FINA suit change was likely to have on my swimming performance. I haven't swum LCM enough to really have a great sense of what various times mean, and I figured this would be a good way to cushion myself against what I thought would be a severe blow of at least 2 seconds per 100 (and maybe more) of slowing down this coming SCY season.

    But to date, the data only told me that the suit changes makes a +6 sec. difference per 100 m in the 200; a +.5 sec. difference in the 50; and a -.01 difference in the 400.

    Perhaps my final event, the 100 M free, would yield more definitive data?

    Last year at Indy, once again, in full B70 knee skin regalia, I swam this distance in:

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive
    1 29.82 29.82
    2 1:00.87 31.05


    And the year before, in this exact same U. Maryland pool, while wearing a Speedo Pro (that was stolen at the meet), I did it in:

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive
    1 29.69 29.69
    2 1:01.63 31.94


    When I climbed the blocks this time, my toes were twitching violently, and my arches were in that pre-spasm phase. Again, I reminded myself not to dive off the blocks too hard for fear of triggering cramps, and not to go out too fast for fear of dying prematurely. I knew I would be going considerably slower in my jammer than in yesteryear's full body suits.

    The question was how much slower?

    My seed time was just under 1:05, and I wondered if--rather than sandbagging--I had inadvertently anti-sandbagged.

    Somehow, I managed to finish the distance without cramps, and when I looked up at the scoreboard, I once again found reason for pleasant surprise:

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive
    1 30.09 30.09
    2 1:01.84 31.75

    This time was only .97 slower than last year's effort in a B70, and .19 in a Speedo Pro. It also, I was delighted to discover, ended up beating all the women in the entire meet. Among others, I absolutely crushed top place female finisher, Fall Willeboordse,

    Women 40-44 100 Freestyle
    ================================================== =========================
    Pl Name Age Club Seed Time Final Time Points
    ================================================== =========================
    1 Willeboordse, Fall 44 AGUA 1:00.90 1:01.86 9.00
    28.83 1:01.86(33.03)

    Who knows how many more hundredths of a second I could have beaten Fall by if she had been wearing a jammer, too, and the pasties I will devote much of next year lobbying FINA to adopt, provided someone reminds me?

    But that is neither here nor there.

    Yet.

    For now, it was time to celebrate my emancipation from the Platypusary of swimming and into the Platypusary of life!


    To the victor goes the spoils. Not that I in any way think of Michelle as spoiled.

    So, what did this meet teach me? What life lessons can you, my readers, take from my own experience in travail overcome, adversity leap-frogged, glory obtained via alternative routes?

    Let me sum up for you:


    1. If you are having trouble achieving glory, lower your standards for defining glory. In my case, if you can A) beat Leslie, Eney, and Fall in any event whatsoever, and B) swim in jammers somewhere only one to six seconds slower than your best 100 times in a cheating suit, then you, sir, are a resounding success!
    2. Positive affirmations are not necessary and, in fact, counterproductive to success. The old chestnut about "you can only achieve what you believe you can achieve" is absolute rubbish and squanders necessary psychic energy trying to talk your mind into something it knows to be false. Better by far to simply redefine and cognitively restructure misery in positive terms. Just as insomniacs often find relief by trying to stay awake, so do swimmers swim better when they prepare themselves ahead of time to swim horribly!
    3. After a meet such as this one, filled as it was with corporal, mental, emotional, spiritual, and psychosexual challenges, make sure to keep your eye on the road when driving back. I rear-ended a very angry woman while wool-gathering briefly on an entrance ramp.
    4. Finally, sitting on a guy's lap while fully clothed will not lead to panky or , for that matter, hanky--just the sort of sustained happy memory in the mind of the aged man such as me that will keep us asking for ventilators a little bit longer than we should.

    Updated August 29th, 2010 at 05:39 PM by jim thornton

    Categories
    Uncategorized
  19. Geek Copycat, Sunday, Aug. 29

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 04:26 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    It is a beautiful day here. Nonetheless, I drove to an indoor pool to do an endurance workout. I swiped this one from Geekity.

    Swim/SCY/Solo:

    Warm Up:

    750 various

    Main Set w/fins:

    1 x 600 free @ 8:30 (went 7:26)
    6 x 50 kick @ 1:00, did flutter w/board (held 30s)
    1 x 500 free @ 7:00 (went 5:57)
    5 x 50 kick @ 1:00, backstroke kick (31s)
    1 x 400 free @ 6:00 (I recall that I went 4:26, but that seems awfully fast, although this was definitely my best effort of the set. Maybe it was 4:36?)
    4 x 50 kick @ 1:00, went flutter kick w/board (held 31s)
    1 x 300 free @ 5:00 (went 3:24) -- cramped and the wheels starting falling off
    3 x 50 kick @ 1:00 (cruised)
    1 x 200 free @ 3:00 (went 2:12)
    2 x 50 kick @ 1:00 (cruised)
    1 x 100 @ 2:00 (went 1:00)
    1 x 50 kick (cruised)

    150 EZ

    Total: 4000

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Commentary:

    Gawd, I forgot how hard it is to swim at a decent clip for more than 100 yards. Geek was right that this set has a compounding effect, and I was utterly gassed by the end. Actually, I had trouble starting at the 300 free. I thought I would pick up the kicks as they went. No way, I just cruised the last 6. I had contemplated doing drylands today, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. (If I do any, I'll update my blog later.) The modifications that I made to Geek's set were that I did it all free (no backstroke) and I used fins throughout. I was attempting to get in a manageable rhythm so I wasn't just swimming in slow mo and to hold a 4 beat kick. I feel like I somewhat accomplished this. I may do a couple more of these type workouts before Savageman on Sept. 19. But, geez, what a loooong main set.

    I was worried about losing count on these. So instead of counting lengths like a sprinter, I counted by 100s. Isn't that how you D folks do it?

    First week back: 5 x swim, 2 x drylands and 1x yoga. Still want to shift into more drylands, but I can't do this right out of the box. I took one rest day -- yesterday -- because I was tired and beat up from the drylands on Friday. I typically use Saturday as my rest day anyway. Onward!

    Updated August 29th, 2010 at 05:09 PM by The Fortress

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  20. Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 AM Workout- 08/30/10

    by , August 29th, 2010 at 12:03 PM (Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 a.m. Workout)
    SCY
    WARM UP:
    1 X 100 1:40 1:30
    1 X 150 2:30 2:15
    Four times through. Round 1/2 intervals left, rounds 3/4 right.

    1 X 500 swim

    6 minute vertical kick 50 seconds on/10 off
    1 X 200 kick 4:15
    8 X 25 sprint kick :45

    1 X 300 4:30
    3 X 100 1:30
    6 X 50 descend 1-3/4-6 :45
    Twice through

    1 X 100 easy 2:00
    2 X 50 fast 1:00
    4 X 25 fast :45
    Choice. Three times through.

    WARM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00

    4800Y
    Categories
    Swim Workouts