I hurried after school to LA Fitness so I could get a workout in and meet my son Rob for supper. I had a lane to myself most of the time. The water seemed a bit cooler tonight; very weird since a large noodler class was to start at 6:00 pm.
Here's the workout:
*5 X 200 free (start on 3:50 and descend interval :10 seconds each swim)
*Small Kick mountain w/fins (100-75-50-25) all flutter :30 per 25
*8 X 100 Freestyle (start on 2:00 interval and descend :5 seconds each interval) hard at the end!
*Small Kick mountain No Fins and same as above.
*4 X (100 IM followed by 4 x 25 on :30 IM stroke order)
Thank goodness today is Wednesday, hump day is over! Next week is a short week at school. They are giving us all day Wednesday as a teacher work day. Strange
Upon my return from the Wilderness, I brought back the following types of data:
27 minutes of footage from a borrowed Sanyo camcorder I was unable to download onto my PC but my son was able, eventually, to download onto his Mac. It's not the greatest quality footage, and the sound and the video are not well synchronized, giving the whole thing the flavor of a 50s era Japanese Mothra movie set, for inexplicable reasons, in the Rocky Mountains. Still, this footage represents my first day and a half in the wilderness, so I want to get this up before the subsequent serial installments. I think Jack can fix the audio-video dissynchrony and post the various installments on You Tube for me, since I have no idea how to do this with Mac software. However, getting him to do it in a timely fashion is proving difficult.
Nearly 60 minutes of Flip Ultra video, which is on my PC, and I can upload, but I am waiting for the first stuff first so as to be minimally confusing to what I suspect with be the paucity of vlog viewers who end up making the Big Commitment to watching the entire Jim de la Selva Americana mini-series.
Approximately 3 hours and 59 minutes of high quality digital stereo audio of me talking, talking, talking, weeping, screaming, laughing, singing, gnashing, stuttering, grunting, laboring, telling bears to scat, and for a very short time, yodeling in the alpine meadows.
489 still photographs, many of them featuring me in various poses, almost always providing some sort of scruffian variation of the Blue Steel look pioneered by Derrick Zoolander
my precious memories of my personal resourcefulness and heroism from the lengthy ordeal, memories that can not ever be taken away or repudiated since I was the only one there and I shall not, will not, dispute any facts that I say occurred. I suppose some neurological researcher somewhere could hook me up to a fMRI to see if he can find any unusual activity patterns among the neurons of my brain's LBL, or Lying Bastard Lobes. But I will vigorously resist any such unlawful invasions of my body and mind and alleged soul with all the vehemence I can muster
a fungus that appears to have taken up residence on the left side of my groin. This may be the result of wearing the same pair of underwear briefs for five consecutive days and nights without taking them off, days and nights in which my nether regions were kept continuously irrigated by my own copious sweat production, dribblings of potable water rendered nonpotable by my kidneys, nocturnal clamminess inside the dank tent chamber and perhaps stoked by my readings of dread-inducing Stephen King, and regular dousings by creek water, rain water, and the odd melting snowflake.
A fungus, of course, was not my initial diagnosis. I was pretty sure at first that I had once again contracted VPDC, one of the most common conditions known to men like me, and the women who love us. Well, pretty much just men like me.
Despite how common it is, there is little if any research money available for its study, a consequence of the puritanism of the previous administration. There is also no cure for VPDC, or Venereal Punishment Disease Cancer. Among teenagers who practice excessive onanism, VPCD can lead to blindness, hair on the palms, and loss in a faith in a benevolent God (though paradoxically strengthening belief in a Horribly Vengeful One.)
Thank god, my swimming coach Bill White told me he was pretty sure I had a fungus infection and not VPDC. He recommended an anti-fungal creme applied twice a day for the rest of my life or a week, which ever came first.
It appears to be working. After three applications, the itch of this lesion has gone from merely maddening to Kierkegaardian. Evidently, the poison has caused the fungi to begin fighting for their lives, like daemons resisting extgermination by Max Von Sydow's Holy Water.
The nonhuman, nonplant miscreants (what exactly are fungi anyhow?) are now Linda Blairing me furiously every waking hour, and I must tie my wandering hands to the bedposts at night to keep from scratching myself into a eunuch in my sleep!
I plan to take my small tube of generic antifungal foot creme (what is the male groin if not a kind of third foot anyhow? one upon which we belly-crawl the earth, leaving a slime trail, impossibly desirable manly molluscs humping our way towards the little females of our kind!) to swimming practice tonight, and then afterward cauterize the area with yet another slather of exorcistic unguent!
How I imagine the mushrooms will scream then!
By the way, here is a picture of what Jock itch, also called tinea cruris or ringworm of the groin, looks like:
Here, on the other hand, is what the Wilderness looks like:
Coincidence that these two species of groin-stabbing pointy entities should look like identical twins?
I don't think so.
In fact, I have concluded that my itch is less the result of an infection per se, and more a case of the wilderness spirit claiming official possession over what has always been one of the wildest, least ruly zones of my body.
There is a River of No Return somewhere out there in central Idaho.
Now there is a much less famous, but equally wild, River of No Return somewhere inside my recently changed undies, as well.
Wild they are, both of them, and leading nowhere you want to be. But, god help you, you cannot resist going!
With luck, I will be able to begin posting footage very soon. Show of hands, please! How many want to see everything I can possibly show you?
All righty then! It's unanimous!
AM Hot Yoga:
Made it to class #5. I seem a tad more flexible already. And I'm really glad my transverse colon is apparently getting a massage. lol. It still seems somewhat exhausting and harder to exercise afterward. I guess at some point it's supposed to shift from exhausting to refreshing ...
I also had a bit of an internal chuckle when the instructor said that we were "flushing out scar tissue." Getting a little carried away there!
I was wondering why Bikram studios must be carpeted and found this:
700 variety swim, kick, drill
5 x (50 UW cruiser shooter w/fins + 15 pullouts) @ 1:15
1 breath at the the turn
5 x vertical kick @ 1:15
30 seconds with hands at side, 10 seconds in streamline, squat jump off bottom (12 ft deep), 20 seconds rest
5 x (25 AFAP shooter on back w/fins + 50 EZ)
Other Speed Work:
3 x 150, done as:
25 EZ speed power fly + 25 EZ DAB + 25 AFAP doggy paddle + 25 EZ DAB + 50 free EZ
1 x 50 fly AFAP w/fins (25ish)
Total: 2350 + VK-ing + 75 pullouts
My ass and hammies are a bit sore from the plyos, lunging, and squatting. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but they feel tighter/stronger with this new regimen. (And I'm sure my ass is probably getting bigger too. )
Found this site, which has loads of plyo info:
Hoping to swim with both Speedo and Jazzy at noon at GMU tomorrow!
My son just came home from cross country practice with an ankle sprain all taped up and iced. Could ruin the end of his cross country season for the second year in a row. Flexy ankles are so easy to sprain ... (Been there, done that.)
Meanwhile, Mr. Fort, who has been battling a hip injury forever, just had an MRI. He may have some labral tearing around his hip socket. His doctor said PRP was a possibility. I hope he doesn't need surgery b/c he would be just impossible to live with!
Updated October 14th, 2009 at 08:18 PM by The Fortress
400 Kick Alt IM/FRx50
25 Easy/25 Fast/25 Easy/25 Fast@1:10
50 Easy/25 Fast
25 Fast/50 Easy
50 Fast/25 Easy
1700 SCY Indoors Solo
Wed OCT 14th, 2009
2009 SPMA Short Course Meters Championships
December 4th - 6th, 2009 at Long Beach
50 Days till Long Beach
TODAYS SWIM PRACTICE
SCY no blocks
6:30 - 8:00
UT Swim Center main pool
Swam with Larry Ned & Nate
Beside tyler amy & erin
WORE lycra brief
4 x 25 fl dr
4 x 25 bk
4 x 25 br
20 x 100 on 1:30 aerobic pace, choice no free
did them all 50 bk 50 br
held 1:16 - 1:18
assigned: 20 x 100 on 1:30 fins
4 k, 1 choice fast
did: NO FINS
round 1 correctly
from round 2 on Whitney gave us 30 sec extra rest before the fast 100's
round 2 50 k on 100's, 100 fr fast went 1:00
round 3 50 k on 100's, 100 fr fast went 56 dove
round 4 50 k on 1 & 2, got out on 3 & 4 to put on B70 legskin 100 fast went 52
tyler the miler crushed me on these, but he wore fins, he went 47 on the last one
25 SDK FAST
This one kicked my butt!!
400 swim free
300 IM drill
200 pull choice
(did 100 free/100 back)
swim 3 sets of 6 x 75:
descend 1-3 and 4-6.
Set 1 free on 1:10
(forgot I was supposed to descend until the 2nd 3 went 1:00 for 1-3, then 1:03-1:00)
set 2 free/fly/free by 25 on 1:20
set 3 all back on 1:30
kick 8 x 50 on 1:00 w/fins if needed to make the interval
(my goal here was to make the set without fins. started around 52 and was around 57 by #8.)
100 swim down
It seems everytime I start to get back on track and am feeling good a $h*t storm of stuff happens that prevents me from continuing on.
I walk out to my car at 4:50am and see my dome light is on ... hmmm ... don't remember even turing it on but okay. Fortunately my car still started and started again after practice so it seems my little mistake is not taking a toll.
I am however sick again!?! WTF?!
I'm thinking of calling the doctor this afternoon. Maybe I just need a round of antibiotics to kick this crap out of me. Headache, sore throat, stuffy nose, chest congestion, etc.
Was a bit late and missed most of warm-up did a 200
3 x (6 x 75)
Round 1 - Free on 1:10
Round 2 - Fr, Stroke, Fr on 1:20
Round 3 - Stroke, Fr, Stroke on 1:30
Did miss a few but did most of them. Went fly on all of the 2nd round, did fly and some breast on round 3.
8 x 50 kick on 1:00 ... we are not going to talk about how pathetic those were ...
Did some great dryland last night. Tons of core work. Squats, bicycles, tricep extensions with bands, bicep curls, rows, bosu squat/twists, "captain's chair" ab work, etc.
I am hoping to swim tomorrow depending on how my head feels and am planning on swimming on Saturday for sure.
I was still stiff and took a lot to get moving. I was thinking of doing the 100's pull on 1:30 but with one muscle giving me fits I decided to ease up and go on the 1:40 today.
10x100@2:00 Free 1/2pull 1/2kick
500 free w/fins kick
500 fly w/fins kick work abs (this was the one thing I could do great)
10x100@1:40 Free w/paddles & bouy kept it long
500 Free every 4th 25 drill
Total 3500 yards
Nasti's tonight at Noblesville HS. The practice was 45 minutes long! I thought about doing more but my body felt done....so I stopped.
Here's the workout:
*500 free Warm-up
*200 Dolphin Kick on Back
*5 X 100 Free on 1:45
*3 X 200 free (Rest 10 sec between each 50. Subtract :30 sec for 200 time. Done on 3:30 interval I think)
*8 X 50 IM Roll on 1:00 interval Swim down/Kick back.
*100 IM sprint
*200 Back Smooth swim
I can't wait to see the "Amelia" movie. Amelia Earhardt was one of my hero's when I was growing up. Hillary Swank/Rickard Gere are the female/male leads. I hope it's not hokey.
Over 800 kids out sick with the flu at CHS on Monday. I heard 25% shuts the building down; they were 200 short of that. We have had a couple teachers out for 3 weeks at my building. It must be a wicked bug.
Today, on the forum, got some helpful tips from Kirk Nelson on improving pace on the 500. Feel kind of bad that I somewhat hijacked the thread. The subject of the thread was training for the 1500/1650 and I posed some questions about training for the 500. Figured while the forum had the attention of the distance gurus out there, I'd ask the questions. Kirk gave some great advice that I hope to put to use in a practice soon.
At this point, I've got a long way to go! When I was younger (even just by 7 years), it seemed possible to balance sprint training with training for a strong 500. Not so sure now. The difference in how I used to train was that I was always in an anaerobic state, even on the distance stuff. I can't do that anymore. Just can't recover fast enough between swims. May have to simply focus on my strength - the sprints, and hope to be in good enough shape to pull off a respectable 500.
Of course I know I haven't been putting my time in the water, so I probably should not have high expectations. It bothers me that in college, I hardly got any sleep, ate terribly, enjoyed my alcohol on the weekends, and was able to hold 2:15 on a 2:40 interval. In fact, I can remember doing a few sets on 2:30. Yes, I'm older, but I take so much better care of myself. No matter what shape I'm in now, I couldn't hold 2:15 on 4 minutes. I probably couldn't even make a 2:40 interval after a couple of 200s no matter what shape I am in! Gosh, sometimes it is hard getting older!
Got in for 45 minutes with the older kids today and did the workout below. The coach gave a surprisingly easy interval on the 200s. I was thinking she was going to throw an interval of 2:45 at us. I did throw some 200 backs with paddles in the mix.
Warm-up (missed the main part) 200 easy
12 x 200: 4 on 3:40, 4 on 3:30, 4 on 3:20 - Did first 6 free, then did 2 back, 2 free, 2 back
Regardless of my focus, it probably is good to do this kind of thing once a week as I need work on my endurance for the sake of my 100s. Also, it helps to have a group of people to train with.
Updated October 17th, 2009 at 02:25 PM by elise526
5x50 BR Kick@1:15
5x50 FR Kick@1:30
5x50 BR Pull@1:15
5x50 FR Pull@1:15 Breathe 2/4/6/8/10
2x50 BR w/fins 1 easy 1 fast (:33)
2x50 FR w/fins 1 easy 1 fast (:26)
2000 SCY Indoors solo
My upper back was still sore from my Monday workout, so I decided to do mostly plyos, bodyweight work and some core work.
bicycles, 2 x 50
long arm crunches, 2 x 50
cable twists w/yoga ball, 50 x 1 x 15, each side, 60 x 1 x 15, each side
hanging reverse crunches w/10 lb weight at feet, 3 x 10
front lunges w/25 lb DBs, 3 x 15
alternating side lunges, 3 x 25
chins ups, 2 x 10
rack chins/pulls, 3 x 15
squats w/overhead shoulder press w/25 lb DBs, 3 x 10 (much harder when you're not pressing fast and using some momentum from the squat)
knee tuck jumps, 3 x 10
box jacks w/med ball, 3 x 15
clap push ups, 3 x 10
prone scapular scrunches, 2 x 25
scapular wall slides, 2 x 25
internal and external rotators, 10 x 2 x 15 each side
3 position arm extentsions, 3 x 2 x 15
10 minutes of stretching
My usual pool was closed b/c of yet another kid accident. My gym pool is closed while they clean and put the bubble up. So, I did 20 minutes on the ellipse and 20 minutes on the bike.
We'll see how the shoulders hold out after the clap push ups. I put my hands on a mat to sort of cushion the load.
I really prefer rack chins to pull ups. They hurt my wrists less. Jazz and I were speculating that this is perhaps due to it being more of an isolation exercise with not as much of the lower body involved.
Q and I were discussing overhead squats on the thread from my Sunday workout. I'm thinking of adding them, as they are a compound exercise that really hits the core.
This article says you shouldn't start with the bar, but I was thinking I am sufficiently strong/flexible enough to try the bar?
Definitely hitting the pool tomorrow!
Saw the most recent clip of Natalie Coughlin on FB from Dancing with the Stars:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u9atC0z1kc&feature=player_embedded"]YouTube - Week 4 - Natalie Coughlin - Dancing With The Stars[/ame]
Like the mermaid-like costume! She looks in fantastic shape from all the running she's been doing.
I also saw that Brendan Hansen started a blog today:
Updated October 13th, 2009 at 04:21 PM by The Fortress
200 swim free
200 kick rev IM
200 pull back
200 IM drill
swim 4 x 50 on 55 descend to 80%
(free - 40->35)
(Swam the following continuous, no extra rest between rounds)
pull 3 x 200 free on 3:20 breathe 3/5 by 25
swim 3 x 50 smooth on 1:00
pull 2 x 200 free on 3:20 breathe 3/5 by 25
swim 2 x 50 smooth on 1:00
(went 2:45-50 on 200's, 37 on 50's)
pull 200 fast (went 2:36)
swim 50 fast (:34)
swim down 200 easy
Total: 2800 yards
Tuesday OCTOBER 13th, 2009
Jay McDonald, 52, from Wimberley TX passed away on Saturday October 10th. He had a heart attack while playing tennis. Jay is survived by his wife Laurie, 5 children & many friends. At the 2008 SCY Nationals in Austin Jay went 27.39 in the 50 breast breaking the 50 - 54 Mens National Record. In years past, Jay swam and coached, he was a kind person and a good friend.
Jay McDonald’s Funeral Services are
Saturday October 17th 11:26 am in
Wimberley, TX at
Cypress Creek Church on 211 Stillwater http://www.cypresscreekchurch.com
church phone number (512) 847-1222
Jay’s Life Celebration Reception will follow the service at the church.
Google Map for Directions
cards & letters to
14 Overbrook Ct
Wimberley, TX 78676
Haven't seen his obituary in the paper yet.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
2009 Postal 5k & 10k results are online
5k Preliminary Results for Swimmers
10k Preliminary Results for Swimmers
2009 SPMA Short Course Meters Championships
December 4th - 6th, 2009 at Long Beach
51 Days till Long Beach
Weights SUNDAY World Gym: 5:00 pm
bench press 8 x 135 5 x 185 5 x 185 4 x 185
lat press 8 x 40 8 x 45 8 x 50 6 x 55
lat pull 8 x 167 8 x 197 5 x 207 4 x 215
leg press 8 x 180 8 x 270
also did some one legged bench steps
TODAYS SWIM PRACTICE
SCY no blocks
6:30 - 8:00
UT Swim Center main pool
Swam with Larry & Nate
Beside Max, tyler & todd
WORE lycra brief
2 rounds of
100 fr 25 fl dr
100 fr 25 fl dr 25 bk
100 fr 25 fl dr 25 bk 25 br
100 fr 100 IM
DROP DOWN KICK SET no FINS
50's start at 1:00 drop 1 sec each round
kicked with a board to 45
kicked with no board to 37
did several 50's with 5 or MORE SDKs off each wall
Got out early to make an 8:00 am meeting
Updated October 13th, 2009 at 04:13 PM by ande
Woke-up a few minutes late. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, put the contacts in, grabbed my already made lunch, already packed swim bag and got in the car to start the 45 minute drive to swim practice.
About 30+ minutes in I realized that all of my swimsuits were still nicely hanging in my bathroom or in my drawers at home. @(&%)(@&*#)(Q*)(%*)%(*
So there was no swimming this morning.
I did swim Sunday at Villanova. The given workout was insane. The workout was what they give the college kids. I am not a collegiate swimmer, never was a collegiate swimmer and have no intentions of training like one. Here was the workout:
2 x 200 pull
4 x 100 pull
8 x 50 pull
2 x 200 free
4 x 100 free
8 x 50 free
2 x 200 IM
4 x 100 IM
8 x 50 Fly
There was a kick set and something else at the end which needless to say I didn't do.
I did a couple hundred yards, did most of the pull set straight free and part of the free set. Not sure how much I did.
Tonight I'm hitting the gym for some dryland.
I was really not ready for todays workout but I did it anyway and it did not turn out too bad. My shoulders and elbow are still exceedingly stiff when I started out but it got better as I moved. I do need to back off some over the next 2 weeks as I have meets the last 2 weekends of the month. Kids meet 23-25 and DixieZone 30-1.
500 Free every 3rd 25 breast skull
....[8x25@:45 Free Kick round #1 every 3rd sprint, #2 every other sprint, #3 sprint all
on R1 held 27's, R2 went 26,26,25,25, R3 went 25,26,25,26,26,26,26,26
500 kick w/fins alternate by 100 free/fly
200 Free EASY
Total 3600 yards
Aquasol - UMHS
Nice to be back in the home pool after 3 weeks of pool maintenance. Water was a bit cool, but was perfect for a hard workout. This is an outdoor pool, with bare minimum facilities; one barely working outdoor shower and stinky restroom's.
We spent a lot of time talking. After the fly set was done, I decided to ignore everyone and keep on the clock.
Warm 300 (We started off in one lane) And my goggles (Speedo Vanquisher) came off on my dive in...
100 Fly 2:00 (1:30, 50 swim/ 50 drill)
2x50 Fly 1:30
4x25 Fly 1:00
100 BR 2:00 (1:35) (this is from 1:50 2 weeks ago, considering I just learned how to kick right over the summer)
2x50 BR 1:00
4x25 BR :45
100 FR 2:00 (1:13, 1:15)
2x50 FR :45
4x25 FR :30
Everyone left before the second time through BR. Leaving me alone with the seniors.
2x200 Pull 3:00 (2:45)
2x50 K with fins, fly on back, free on front
Ive slowed my fly down so I can concentrate on getting that second kick timed just right, until I do, I will just keep it slow.
Updated October 13th, 2009 at 07:27 PM by EricOrca
Made it to my 90 minute hot yoga class this am. I'm feeling even more pure with all those impurities sweated out. Whew! I didn't even have to cheat death like Geek did the other day. And, having expelled the dread impurities, I felt free to imbibe more and have just polished off a bottle of wine with one of my oldest and dearest friends.
My upper back today was pretty lit up from yesterday's weight extravaganza. Not sure what I'm going to get up to tomorrow afternoon. Next week, I'm going to mostly lay off the weights before the Sprint Classic (maybe only some light or explosive upper body stuff). Then back at it for a few weeks before, blech-sigh, tapering for Zones.
I need recovery time - lots of it. After a meet, I'm shot for several days. Muscularly, I can feel that I get broken down quickly. After a day or two off, I come back very strong.
With this in mind, I decided to take yesterday and today off. I had a pretty good week last week with 17 miles of running and just over 7,000 yards on swimming. Plus, I was able to get to the weight room about 3 times.
The 15 x 100 kick with fins that were broken down into sets of 5 on different intervals really wore my legs out, especially up in the hip area. I could tell this when I did the hip adduction/hip abduction set on Saturday. Just didn't feel quite as strong and felt some soreness in my hips just a few hours after I had lifted.
Soreness is gone today, but decided to just take off anyway. Sometimes it sure is nice to take a day off when you are feeling good instead of doing it because you are sick.
5:34 p.m., Columbus Day, Oct. 12, 2009, Sewickley Heights, PA
My son Ben turned 21 today, which prompted my twin brother John to say, "That's amazing, bruddie. The first adult Thornton male in a generation!" He paused to reflect, then added, "maybe two generations."
Ben and his friend Ben Armstrong just took off for the long drive along the Pennsylvania Turnpike from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, where Ben is going to Temple and his friend Ben is living with a girl who is going to Temple.
It's not that I am feeling terribly old, exactly, but there is something about having your first born son turn 21, and your second born son getting his driver's license a couple weeks ago, that makes you realize that the Celestial Time Clock has not suddenly started running backwards. It is, if anything, running in its usual forward direction faster than it once did, i.e., those blissful childhood days of yore when the wait from Dec. 22 to Christmas seemed to last centuries.
Now, it seems that if I blink just slightly longer than usual, Christmas has arrived again. Blink. Christmas. Blink. Christmas.
The only thing that does seem to take forever is swimming distances that used to go by in a flash.
Which brings us to tonight's Bill White workout, which is basically 4,000 yards in a 60 minute time allotment: warm up, 6 x 500 with assorted challenges--first one DPS, second one alternate side breathing, third one faster; repeat; then some sort of cool down.
Maybe it is the nature of being in the middle of an age group where a certain slowing down appears to occur. Maybe it is the prospect of losing the cheating suits that have allowed me for so long to defy my age. Maybe it is a general weariness borne of my time in the wilderness, followed by a horrible swimming meet, followed by a bad cold, followed by a resumption of responsibilities, followed by the resumption of wintry conditions (I blink, and once again I find myself changing from my layers of clothing in a snow storm into my swimming costume! Blink! Christmas! Blink! Funeral!)
In any event, what was that William Carlos Williams poem:
An old man
in a dry year
dum dum de dum de dum
being read to by a boy
dum de dum
waiting for rain.
Or maybe it was Christopher Smart and his famous cat:
for he is of the Tribe of Tiger
for he can swim
for he creeps
So now it is 5:47 p.m., time to make my way down to the YMCA, perchance to do an old man's warm up, back and forth, paddling here, paddling there, dead man's floating hither, dead man's floating thither, Christmases passing by the edge of the pool like telephone poles on the speedway, and still I have not made it through the first 175 yards of the interminable 500...
Am I just talking myself into decrepitude? Or am I railing against the dying of the light through jest and hyperbole?
I shall force myself--force myself!--to try in practice tonight.
The only thing that could possibly make me stop is last minute Christmas shopping, for it seems that the money extraction season is upon us once more, and we old men creakily bend over, assuming the position whereby the extraction can proceed with the least trauma to all involved!
Wish me well, youngsters! I am your trailblazer and proxy for your fate!