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  1. My taper may have started too soon

    by , May 13th, 2010 at 07:21 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    Starting to feel better and stronger, but I should not feel like this till next week.

    10x100@2:00 Free long and loose
    10x50@1:00 Free kick w/fins Desc 1-3,4-6,7-9
    2x[4x25@1:00 Fly w/fins
    ....[200 Fly kick w/fins on back
    8x50@1:00 Fly drill w/fins 25rt arm/25lt arm
    200@:30R Free pull
    150@:30R Free
    100@:30R Free
    50 Free

    Total 3000 meters
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  2. 6 hour ec qualifier

    As per CS&PF rules:
    All swimmers taking part in a solo swim must supply proof/ratification of a 6 hour swim in water 61°F / 16°C or less or proof of completion in a recognised event for a period considered by the CS&PF to be an acceptable alternative within the previous 30 months.

    In truth, I have a few months to satisfy this requirement, but I would like to check this one off early (and often). It is possible that the water temps for MIMS on June 12th will qualify, it is also possible that Catalina (July 20) will qualify, but there are no guarantees. Last year, the boat I was on for MIMS took readings from 57 degrees at the Battery to 66 degrees in the Hudson near mid-town.

    Willie, Rondi and I swam in the Hudson last saturday, and we took a reading of 60 degrees at the finish (near Chelsea) which was a few degrees warmer than where we started south of Beacon.

    This week has brought some pretty cold weather for this time of year... (yes, the tomato plants are in the house) so I don't expect the water to be any warmer this weekend. It might even be a few degrees colder.

    I think we are going to have a half dozen swimmers and half as many kayakers hitting the Hudson this saturday morn. Most will do a 4 mile swim from this great pier at Long Dock Road in Beacon to this slight beach just north of Chelsea. My plans are to continue north another 11 miles and land somewhere between the railroad bridge in Poughkeepsie and Marist College in Hyde Park. I'm not sure that I will have swimming company the whole way, so we may have to fined another exit point in between. I have to go scout out landing spots where we could easily exit the river by foot and drive close enough to load up the kayaks without to much of a hike. I'm sure that I will be completely useless by then and will need lots of hot bevies to return to my normal happy self. I will shoot for a 20 minute feed interval, and will have a couple of thermoses and dry clothes packed in the yaks as well.

    We will need to have some support crew on standby to retrieve swimmers where they exit. It will be important to have a dry bag with clothing and a cell phone for each swimmer past the 4 mile point....... it takes a village!
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  3. Relief!

    This morning I went to the early AGUA scy masters workout. Here’s how it went:

    200 scy warmup

    5 x 100 @ 1:40

    6 x 75 kick FL/BK/BR @ 1:45

    8 x 25 @ :30, done as 2 x (12.5 easy / 12.5 fast, 12.5 F /12.5 ez, 25 ez, 25 sprint) [did 4 FR, 4 BK]

    10 x 50 @ 1:30ish (coach’s sendoff), done at goal 200 pace, [I did 5 FR @ 500 pace, 5 BK @ 200 pace]

    400 warmdown + play [for those of us going to nationals—everyone else did something complicated involving a 200 using the average times from the 50s above]

    I enjoyed this, and got to check off most of the tapery things I was looking to do today (some sprint FR to work on turnover, fast BK turns, a bit of pacework).

    Then came the part of the day that I had been dreading—I had an appointment to donate blood. I’m having surgery a couple of weeks after nationals to resolve some longstanding health problems, and my surgeon has recommended that I bank a couple of units ahead of time. Because of various constraints, I needed to schedule one appointment this week.

    I was nervous because the last time I gave blood, when I was in grad school, I fainted afterwards, and it literally took hours for my blood pressure to stabilize enough for me to leave the donation trailer. But today’s experience went better—no fainting! And now I’m feeling pretty good, and very relieved at having no more surgery-related things to deal with until after nationals are over—now I can just relax and taper and swim and enjoy.

    For the next few days I plan to take it pretty easy in the water and stop if I feel too tired, but that’s probably what I’d be doing during my taper anyway. Tomorrow I have a massage scheduled, and I’m definitely looking forward to that. Lying on a table getting kneaded definitely beats lying on a recliner getting blood drained out of you!
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  4. Wed 5/12/10 Taper 3

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 06:18 PM (The Labours of SwimStud)
    Did 3000 yards today

    Warm Up
    Twice Through
    200 Kick
    200 Pull
    200 Swim
    I used fins to kick and left them on for the pull. the 2nd 200 Swim I did as 4 x 50 EZ.
    100FR from blocks. Went 1:02 a 29 and a 33, end lane, no wall line, swim team going at same time...YMCA pool, I was fairly happy with that. With taper I'll probably have enough in the tank for the 2nd 50 to get IT done.
    4 x 50 EZ

    Main
    10 x 100 FR 1:45

    Cool Down
    200 K
    6 x 50 EZ

    No weights. Had my muscle milk...and if you haven't seen it.. my butt is now starring on USMS you tube channel!
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  5. No Taper Bitchies Yet, May 12

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 03:52 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    Swim/SCY/Solo:

    Warm up:

    700 various

    Main Sets:

    6 x 100 @ 2:00
    odds = IM drill
    evens = IM swim

    #6 = broken 100 IM with 15-20 seconds rest at the 25 and 75 (had to do the Roddin turn at the 50).

    100 EZ

    8 x 50 @ 1:15
    done as 25 scull + 25 no breather free w/overkick

    50 EZ

    2 x through:

    4 x 50s
    odds = 25 shooter + 25 EZ @ 1:15
    evens = 25 AFAP + 25 EZ (2 free, 2 breast) @ 1:30
    50 easy speed russian breast drill (33s)
    100 EZ

    5 dives off side

    50 EZ

    Total: 2600

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Commentary:


    Because the forum was down this am, I couldn't check my blog to get my "9 days out" workout. I made one up, and was slightly slightly worried I did too much. But, having written it down, it looks fine for now.

    The taper bitchies haven't really kicked in yet ... Tomorrow is my last workout with some real sprints + long rest, then I'm shifting into warm up mode. (What should we do Speedo?) If I don't have the TBs by the weekend, I will wonder what's up. I certainly seem to have the taper munchies ... I'm guessing I still feel crappy and somewhat sore from my deep tissue massage. (It does seem to take me a longer time than usual to recover from these.) 4 days of feeling crappy and counting ... Whoops, just yelled, perhaps a TB moment.

    I really haven't been stretching too much the last couple weeks. So I've decided just to stick with The Stick and the foam roller and the body work.

    Still mulling over whether to get a bullet blender for Nats. I have stocked up on "plastic" easily digestible food: espresso and jet blackberry gu, cliff shot bloks with caffeine, packets of puresport and "amazing meal," etc. I need more gluten free Protein Fusion bars.

    Mr. Fort had an interesting conversation with a nutritional expert from UMPC recommended by his trainer. One of the tips she gave him for his marathon was: 5 days before (I think that's the number), he should get an extra serving each meal and drink 8 bottles of water with electrolytes. (He's usually a bit of a camel.) She thought this would make the muscles super hydrated and "fed" so that he wouldn't have to worry about food as much during the race. I wonder if this has any applicability to a multi-day meet? Or perhaps to a distance event the first day?

    I have once again successfully bribed Mini Fort to try on my Jaked for me. I get very wigged out over trying on that particular suit. It takes FOREVER the first time. I wish I hadn't put a tiny tear in my old one just in case.

    Musings over Nationals Events:

    Obviously, I'd like to do some PBs. I'm not sure I can get there in the 50 free, where I dropped a lot of time and surprised myself last year, but we'll see ...

    50 breast: Hoping for good breakouts and hand speed. I think head position is a long term project; I've really only been training breast for 6-8 months and I still have a lot of work to do if I decide not to retire from the evilstroke. I'm glad this is the first event, as I care about it the least and I sometimes need an event to get out the "cobwebs." (In this regard, I recall that my first event at Austin Nats was very fast and my first event at Indy Nats was rather iffy.)

    100 fly: I'm prepared to HTFU and die like a true sprinter on the last length. I'm glad this event is day 1, so I don't have to fret over it. I will throw in a few singles. Even though Jimby thinks I don't train 100s, this is, in fact, one of my highest seeded events at Nats. :-P

    50 back: I think I know how to swim this. Will try to stick with 13 SDKs the first 25. The competition in this event in my age group is insane. There are 4 of us that have gone 28.0 or faster.

    50 fly: I plan only to breathe once on the first 50 about 7 yards from the flags. I would ideally like to go 26.99, as I went 27.0 last year. The fastest time in the country is 26.8. This will be another super close event.

    100 IM: I realized today that I only swim this event at taper meets. Not sure why ... Is this a dislike-of-breaststroke hangover or an unconscious rebellion against IMs because I swam them every single meet as an age grouper? Or perhaps the 100 IM is always the first event I cut if a meet order doesn't suit me? In any event, if plan to: do the Roddin turn (why not?) if I hit the wall with my left hand, do my evil allotted dolphin kick during the pull down rather than pre-kicking to avoid undue oxygen debt, breathe 3 times out of the freestyle turn and then put my head down the last 15 yards.

    100 back: I'm going to swim this event just like I did at NE Champs: lots of SDKs. The key thing is that I must go faster than 1:02.8 to continue chicking Geek in our cyber gridge. The things that keep us motivated ...

    50 free leadoff: Remember to keep head down and still and kick kick kick!


    CZ Recap:

    Here's a youtube vid about CZ featuring GMUP coaches Cheryl and Peter Ward: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz_CghLfRe4"]YouTube- USMS Colonies Zone SCY Masters Swimming Championship[/nomedia]

    I think I caught a tiny glimpse of my 100 fly and who could miss SwimStud?


    To Stretch Or Not:

    http://myfitnessdepot.com/indoor/to-...ot-to-stretch/

    Updated May 12th, 2010 at 08:26 PM by The Fortress

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  6. Don't you hate it when...

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 03:42 PM (Mixing it up this year)
    The aquatic center changes to long course and does not move the blocks two weeks out from Nat's!

    10x100@1:45 Free barely made these
    500 free kick w/fins
    3x[4x25@1:00 free SPRINT
    ....[220 Free pull w/bouy easy
    300 free kick w/fins
    100 Fly kick w/fins rotate evry 10 kicks
    200 free easy

    Total 3000 meters
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  7. Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 AM Workout -05/13/10

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 03:17 PM (Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 a.m. Workout)
    LCM

    WARM UP:
    2 X 200 3:30
    2 X 150 2:30
    3 X 100 1:40

    4 X 200 3:30
    2 X 50 moderate 1:00
    3 X 200 3:30
    4 X 50 build 1:00
    2 X 200 3:30
    6 X 50 fast 1:15
    1 X 200 fast -

    1 X 100 kick 2:30
    3 X 100 stroke 2:15
    Twice through

    WARM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00
    4600M

    NATIONALS SWIMMERS:

    WARM UP:
    3 X 250 4:00

    1 X 800
    Broken :15 @400
    Fins optional

    6 X 50 kick 1:15

    6 X 50 1:15
    1-3 perfect stroke
    4-6 descend to fast, #6 at 100%

    3 X 100 2:05
    Choice. Swim @ 85/90%

    100/1650 swimmers only:
    12 X 50 1:00
    odd: perfect stroke
    even: race pace

    WARM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  8. Wednesday, May 12

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 02:45 PM (Keepin Track 2010)
    TA TA TA TAPER....

    No swimming today.

    Run 1.5, stretch and core 45. Nice.

    Eat avocado on toast for lunch.

    What a hard day!

    Hip flexor a teeny bit sore. Notes from yesterday...I did the main Tuesday workout but followed up about 5 hours later with Coach as he will be gone at the Charlotte Grand Prix while we swim this Thursday for Masters Workout.

    He watched a few 50's buildup BR. Said to continue to keep the feet/legs wide and flexible. Thought body position and timing looked good. No more looking forward to watch out for other lane mates--face down not nose down.

    I thought it felt pretty put together. Build first 3 strokes key. High elbows were easy to execute-thank goodness. Been waiting for that. Too tired usually to hold things well.

    Remember not to get excited about wo. Each day different. Last year, I split a :29 50 BR during HQ. What int he world??? Never saw that again!

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  9. Wed May 12th 2010

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 01:35 PM (Ande's Swimming Blog)
    Wed May 12th 2010

    Nats in 1 wk & 2 days or 9 days

    Leave for AZ tomorrow


    TODAYS SWIM PRACTICE

    Swim Center
    LCM main pool
    Whitney coached
    6:30 - 8:00
    swam in the Nats Taper Lane with
    Todd, Marcio, Nate, Ed, Kristyn, Mary, Heather Henry & Gretch

    wore B70 legs

    Warm UP LCM

    3 x 500 SNAKES
    round 1 200 fr 50 k
    round 2 200 IM 50 k
    round 3 200 fr 50 scull

    MAIN SET

    4 x 50 fr done broken 200 style
    20 seconds after each 50
    went 29 32 30 30

    did 4 x 75

    2010 MEETS:

    2010 Short Course National Championships
    Thu May 20 - Sun 23, 2010
    time to get fast, strong, skinny, & rested
    Days Till Nats
    FRI 050 BR 100 FL
    SAT 200 IM 050 BK
    SUN 100 IM 050 FR


    July 8 - 11, 2010
    Senior Circuit #4
    Austin, TX


    07/23/10 - 07/25/10
    2010 South Central Long Course
    Southlake, Texas
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  10. Wednesday, 5/12/10

    by , May 12th, 2010 at 01:14 PM (A comfort swimmer's guide to easy swimming)
    SCY, Solo

    200 swim free
    200 swim back
    200 kick alt. 25 free on side/25 back, with 6-8 SDK per 25
    200 pull free, no paddles
    200 IM drill

    swim 6 x 25 on :40; odds build to fast finish; evens with fast breakout and 3 fast stroke cycles

    swim 6 x 25 on :40 from mid-pool: work on swimming fast in and out of the turns
    50 easy

    swim 5 x 50 back on 1:15 at goal 200 back pace
    (these were all at 36-37)
    100 easy

    swim 4x around
    {25 fast off blocks, 25 easy choice}
    (did 1 & 2 back, got my feet to the wall under 16 sec. 3 & 4 were free. got my feet to the wall at 13.5-14)

    swim down 300 choice

    Total: 2200 yards
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  11. Blech!

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 10:35 PM (Swimming, Life, and Other Stuff!)
    I seem to be in some kind of funk this week. Not sick, just low energy and no enthusiasm for anything.
    Swim practice was okay. I don't know if everyone else is speeding up a lot or
    If I'm really slowing down. Since I swim short course meters practice for about 1 month a year the times mean very little to me.
    I missed most of the warm-up tonight to I just jumped in and slugged it out.

    **250 Free
    **4 X 150 free on 3:00
    **6 X 25 Kick flutter on :45
    **4 X 125 on 2;30 free
    **6 X 25 flutter kick back on :45
    **4 X 100 on 2:00 free
    **6 X 25 stroke on :45
    **4 X 75 on 1:30 free
    **6 X 25 Kick back dolfin :45
    **4 X 50 free on 1:00
    **6 X 25 stroke on :45
    **4 X 25 Free on :30

    3,100 scmeters
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  12. Tuesday, May 11

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 03:46 PM (The FAF AFAP Digest)
    Swim/SCY/Solo:

    Warm up:

    700 various

    Main Sets:

    6 x 100 @ 2:00
    2 backstroke kick, 2 russian breast drill, 2 single arm fly

    30 x 25 @ :20 RI, done as:

    1-10
    odds = shooter on back
    evens = long evil pullout

    11-20
    odds = EZ speed fly
    evens = EZ

    21-30
    odds = shooter on belly
    evens = good evil pullout/breakout, 2 quick strokes after breakout

    Wanted to do 10 more, but didn't have the time. 40 x 25 with some hypoxic work is one of my fav taper sets.

    50 EZ

    1 x 50 AFAP breast w/MF
    went 28, fastest to date

    100 EZ

    Total: 2250

    Deep Tissue Massage, 75 min:

    Went right here from the pool. Holy crap, I got beat up. I feel sore and exhausted at the moment. Must go get another green tea ...
    She really worked over my neck, shoulders, traps, scapular area. My lats were the most painful area. Ouch!

    Benefits:

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/94...issue-massage/

    http://hubpages.com/hub/Understandin...ssage-Benefits

    The latter suggests an epsom salt bath will aid release of toxins. I've never tried that ...


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Commentary:

    I felt absolutely ghastly today until the end of the short workout. I wanted to crawl out during warm up. Even my backstroke felt alien. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel sloggish as well b/c of the deep tissue. But I will keep ignoring this feeling. I think more hypoxic work is in order tomorrow. I should probably pony up and do some broken 100s as well.

    Saw this on FB. I might try some of these for fun during the otherwise deadly dull taper workouts. http://ht.ly/1JA3V

    I saw Wolfy mentioned on Patrick's blog that it's probably time to quit dedicated stretching. Really? It tires the muscles just to stretch?

    FYI, for any Lost addicts, this is a great page on FB: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gi...3331633&ref=ts

    Updated May 11th, 2010 at 04:38 PM by The Fortress

    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  13. Backstroke Day

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 03:04 PM (Elise's Fitness Fun)
    Borrowed a few sets from one of Julie Roddin's workouts. Backstroke still feels off, but hopefullly it will all come together next week.

    Warm-up: 200 swim, 200 kick, 200 swim

    8 x 50 back on :50
    200 easy

    6 x 50 back on 1:00
    200 easy

    4 x 50 back with paddles on 1:15
    200 easy

    2 x 50 back on 2:00
    200 easy

    4 x 25 AFAP back on 1:00 - did 2 with fins and last two without

    400 easy - incorporated some rt. arm only/lt. arm only backstroke

    2900 SCY

    Late this afternoon, took my last run before Nationals - a nice easy 2 miler at 19:15.

    Updated May 11th, 2010 at 07:13 PM by elise526

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  14. Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 AM Workout -05/12/10

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 02:03 PM (Sarasota Y Sharks Masters 5:30 a.m. Workout)
    SCY

    WARM UP:
    3 X 250 4:00

    1 X 1000
    Broken :15 at each 250
    Fins optional

    1 X 50 1:10
    1 X 75 1:10
    Four times through

    6 X 25
    odd: build to race finish
    even: blocks, sprint 20

    1 X 100 easy

    RACE PACE SWIM(S)
    1 X 200 Broken 5:00
    Broken :10 @ each 50.
    1 X 100 easy 3:00
    1 X 100 broken :10 at the 50

    Nationals swimmers warm down

    LCM

    15 X 100
    5 on 1:45
    5 on 1:40
    5 on 1:30

    WAM DOWN: 4 X 50 easy 1:00
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  15. Tuesday, 5/11/10 10 days to go!

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 11:53 AM (A comfort swimmer's guide to easy swimming)
    Solo, SCY

    400 swim alt 100 free/100 back
    300 I M drill, working on long walls with good legs
    200 kick choice
    100 swim IM

    Swim 3 x 50 on 1:10 build to about 90%;
    #1 free, #2 back, #3 free
    (#1 - 32, #2 :37, #3 :34)
    50 easy

    Swim 6 x 25 back on :30 at goal 200 speed
    (swam these around 18)
    Swim 200 easy

    Swim 4x around
    {
    25 fast free off the blocks
    75 easy choice
    rest as needed between each
    (25's were between 13.5-14, was on about 3:00 interval for each round)
    }

    Take 2 minutes rest
    Go 50 free FAST off the blocks... Work the breakouts and the turn
    (just under 28 and it didn't feel like an all out swim. I focused on getting a good catch and finishing the stroke)

    Swim down 300 easy
    --
    Total: 2300 yards
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  16. Monday May 10, 2010

    Talked a lot with my VERY trusted taper coach ... he said to only swim twice this week, I talked him into a third time - which is supposed to be a sprint free warm-up swim only -

    Warm-up (also discussed he also relented and let me do my typical 1,000)

    300 swim
    200 IM drill
    300 drill (200 fly, 100 free)
    4 x 50 kick/swim

    2 x 25 build

    1 x 100 free broken at the 50 for :10 and 75 for :10
    1:02 from a push with a late start

    1 x 50 fly broken at 25 for :15
    :28

    1 x 25 free fast no breath - :13.6

    5 x 100 free on 1:40 swim them slower than 1:25

    Did some ez swims inbetween the sprints and got 1,800 in - it's almost go time. I'm definitely feeling that fatigued muscle feeling so according to my calculations I am right on track.

    We also talked a LOT about my 100 free and how to take it out more aggressively. I ALWAYS try to do that but I haven't done that well since 08. I'm thinking of changing my strategy a wee bit. I think I need to focus on killing my legs the first 50 and forget about the 2nd 50 (until I get there).

    Coach promises my training will carry my legs through the last 25 (I think the training and my beloved B70 will) - fingers crossed!
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  17. Tue May 11th 2010

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 11:32 AM (Ande's Swimming Blog)
    Tue May 11th 2010

    Nats in 1 wk & 3 days or 10 days

    this morning after practice I threw my kick board toward the kick board bin from probably 25 yards away & it bounced on the deck then went IN!


    TODAYS SWIM PRACTICE

    Swim Center
    LCM main pool & SCY Div Well
    Whitney coached
    6:30 - 8:00
    swam in the Nats Taper Lane with
    Mike, Marcio, Nate, Ed, Kristyn, Mary, Kendal, & Gretch

    wore B70 legs

    Warm UP LCM

    not really sure what warm up was but I did around 600

    switched from LCM main pool to SCY div well

    MAIN SET

    8 x 100 on 2:00
    odds 50 at 200 pace 50 easy
    evens DPS

    8 x 100 on 1:45
    odds: fast break outs with 2 fast strokes off each wall
    evens: easy DPS

    50 bk FAST flip start
    went 26.2


    2010 MEETS:

    2010 Short Course National Championships
    Thu May 20 - Sun 23, 2010
    time to get fast, strong, skinny, & rested
    Days Till Nats
    FRI 050 BR 100 FL
    SAT 200 IM 050 BK
    SUN 100 IM 050 FR


    July 8 - 11, 2010
    Senior Circuit #4
    Austin, TX


    07/23/10 - 07/25/10
    2010 South Central Long Course
    Southlake, Texas
    Categories
    Swim Workouts
  18. Tuesday, May 11, 2010

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 10:22 AM (Keepin Track 2010)
    Kids have a spring concert tonight, swimming with my main squeeze this afternoon instead of attending masters practice.

    This morning I stretched and lifted for about 45 minutes. Core too. Weights at light (8lbs), one rep with full range of motion. Friday to be lighter still with full range.

    Today's WO:

    400 WU mix
    2x50 drill FR holding water (1001 drill)
    4x50 FR drill 25, swim 25
    4x50 IM order drill 25, swim 25

    relay starts

    4x (P100 FR, S3x100FR, rest :30)

    100 easy

    K4x50 2 spec 2 free fast between flags 15 sec rest.

    SPEC (BR swimmers diff than other SPEC)
    K 3x50 rest :20
    S 3x50 rest :20
    Swim 6x25 with flips 25 FL, 25 FR think high on water and get stroke going

    Fred wants me to think about opening up the kick again. Need to keep up stretching hips and flexors and groin area all the way till nats. Think neck out of it and head down and hips over hands.

    4x12.5 breakouts
    200 WD
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  19. Long Course is messing with me

    by , May 11th, 2010 at 07:23 AM (Mixing it up this year)
    I just can't seem to train Long Course right now. I have no blocks to work with and I really need to work on my starts. Sprints are minimal and even then they don't feel fast.

    1000 as 200 swim/pull/swim/kick/swim
    500 free kick w/fins
    500 back kick drills w/fins streamline, partial recovery, fashion model, arms perpendicular, streamline
    3x100@2:30 Back desc 1-3 went 1:58, 1:50, 1:40
    200 Free easy
    200 Back good form
    100 free easy
    100 free sprint from 15 meter mark to 1/2 mark in both directions
    100 free easy

    Total 3000 meters
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  20. Night Nurse Mollie: Night Strangler, Pt. 2

    by , May 10th, 2010 at 11:14 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    As perspicacious viewers of [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMpL5zIuN2M"]The Night Strangler Part 1. - YouTube[/nomedia] have perhaps managed to glean already, your narrator has been tentatively diagnosed by the sleep lab technician, Ashley, (who parenthetically concedes that she is not allowed to diagnose sleep disorders), that the odds are extremely high I suffer from sleep apnea.

    This is a common condition typically suffered by those with stentorian roar-like snoring, obesity, and over-sized necks.

    I don't do or have any of these things, and in fact, sport a neck that measures 15 inches when I am flexing it, which technically qualifies me for the diagnosis of "pencil-necked geek."

    Still, people like me are known to have apnea despite our lack of the traditional red flags. And it looks like I almost certainly am soon to be getting official word--after a certified sleep doctor has examined my polysomnographic results--that I am, indeed, a PP-NGWAOSA, AKA, "paradoxically pencil-necked geek with advanced obstructive sleep apnea."

    The good news, if this does prove to be the case, is that a lifetime of malaise, neuralgia, fatigue, excessive daytime fatigue, night sweats, high blood pressure, nervous temperament, morning hoarseness, vulnerability to sore throats, pronounced stupor, and hog-whimpering headaches upon awakening with or without the explanation of alcohol--all these symptoms and many, many more may not have been psychosomatic and/or the result of character defects which we all, myself robustly included in this unanimity of opinion, assumed was Jim in a Nutshell explained.

    In fact, rather than being a neurotic whiny little bitch of a boyish old baby, I might in fact be something of a hero, whose relative lack of complaint about his life's circumstances over the years (a minor word here, a sigh there, perhaps a faintly uttered phrase under the breath a la, Jesus, that hurts like a mother ****er!) can only be described in light of what we now know to be the true extent of my life torture as...astonishing bravery of the sort rarely seen in the human animal.

    All this, to be sure, awaits further medical evaluation and sanction, and I do not in any way mean to risk a torn shoulder labrum patting myself brusquely upon my own back even if I so surely deserve such a vigorous patting!

    In any event, for those rare individuals who still do not know what apnea does to the sleeping human hoping for a moment of repose, the truth is not pretty.

    Not pretty at all.

    Since my semi-diagnosis by a knowledgeable though uncertified lab tech, I have had trouble sleeping because of the Nightmare on Elm Street murder scenario I am certain awaits me every time I nod off.



    To protect myself from premature demise, I took the liberty of hiring a night nurse, young candy-striper Mollie, fresh from the nunnery, to keep watch over me as I slept, protecting me from the bogey man that lives inside me.

    Yikes! Asked to remove film. I did so!


    Oh, and there was one scene in the film that was so graphic and disturbing in its nature that the Ratings Board on Vimeo, YouTube, Mayo Clinic Medical Videos, RedTube, and all the other reputable user sites that I submitted it to forced me to remove it.

    As an added bonus, I am including that disturbing Out Take, as well. Click here...if you dare: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8AW-9i8uns"]Night Strangler Pt. 2 Out Take Prolonged Overly Graphic Str - YouTube[/nomedia]

    Updated November 29th, 2011 at 04:02 PM by jim thornton

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