Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Homage to the Summer of 2010

42 Comments

, September 6th, 2010 at 07:46 PM (4288 Views)

As I sit here at my desk in the waning hours of Labor Day, my back in spasms from the weekend's sporting events (3 hours, 20 minutes of tennis on Saturday; the 2 x 5K swim on Sunday; and 3 hours, 45 minutes of tennis this morning), I think we all look forward to the imminent onrush of "sweater weather"-- three or four months from now -- with a certain bittersweet quality.

Sure, it will be good to see the late Autumnal temperatures finally dip from the upper 90s to the lower 90s; but climatic clemency notwithstanding, the hazy lazy days of summer just can't be beat by the hazy lazy days of fall, winter, and/or spring in terms of sheer unadulterated lazy haziness.

To help us all maintain a hold on memories of this summer, my twin brother made a trio of films that nicely sum up the zeitgeist of this magical season.

John is a wonderful film-maker in the primitive "outsider" self-taught school; a Grandma Moses of an auteur with nothing but his street smarts, a pair of high-rise underwear for support, and a Canon VIXIA HF S200 Flash Memory High Definition Digital Video Camcorder to craft his art.

My twin brother John looks very Howard Hughes as he models some of the high waisted underwear his wife Nancy purchased for him now that our mother is no longer around to do this important job for us.

YouTube recently invited filmmakers from around the known universe to submit movie footage for a major feature-film project entitled Life in a Day: http://www.google.com/landing/youtube/lifeinaday/ which promises:

If your video is included in the final film, you'll be credited as a co-director and may be one of 20 contributors selected to attend the film's world premiere at the 2011 Sun Dance Film Festival.

Anyhow, Johnny boy just got word last week that his footage made the cut for the final 100 hours of stuff being reviewed for inclusion by the project's director. Joking aside, I am truly proud of my twin's accomplishments in the brave new world of ordinary citizen film making!

Before posting his three summer films, all of which do, indeed, feature water, a little housekeeping digression.

My wife and I are opening a small restaurant later this month and are trying to decide on which sign to go for. Can you let me know your opinions?

I should note that the location of the restaurant is the Historic District of a now defunct millennial sect, the Harmonist Society. [ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmony_Society[/ame]

Picture of the original Harmonist Church not too terribly far away from our restaurant.

The Harmonist aesthetic was plain and no-nonsense, favoring blacks and whites and simplicity in architecture, etc. This tends to favor the black, white, and brick red version of the sign.

However, the color version is nice, too, and many (if not most viewers) have expressed a preference for it.

The two versions:

The sparer version (juxtaposed against the brick color of the outside of the building.)

The more colorful version. (With further thanks to my brother for his art skills!)

Okay, at this point, let me present the three films. With the modern attention span being what it is, I know that many people don't particularly like to click on other people's YouTube movies, but I really am confident you will enjoy all three of these films, especially if you A) have ever been to the boardwalk in your life, B) have ever tried to surf, especially at age 5, and C) have ever been warned by your grandmother, as she clutched her rosary, that hurricanes like the one outside your door are deadly, but--god help you!--you found this much more exciting than scary.

Stay tuned afterward for one final Bonus Film, one of the most blood-boilingly brilliant works of citizen journalism you are likely to see in your life!

To view the feel-good-boardwalk-summer-2010 movie of the year, click here: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOoi2LVvM3o"]YouTube- Kids: A Music Video[/nomedia]
(Music by MGMT)

To view 5-year-old surfing prodigy, click here: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPKN8Dt0t8w"]YouTube- Five Year Old Surfer[/nomedia]
Music by Django Reinhardt

To view John's charming movie about Hurricane Earl and an Ocean City resident who also lived through the non-dud devastating hurricane of 1944, click here: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYD0bCToN8k"]YouTube- Earl and Pat, Waiting for the Big One[/nomedia] Music by miscellaneous jazz players.

Special Bonus Feature!!!

Finally, if you have any smug, fat-cat, butt-plugged, and insufferably Republican jerk relatives, living the life of King Tut in their starter Mansions on the Hill while railing against welfare and donating money to the Koch brothers, this movie is sure to wipe that insufferable smirk off their coddled, coupon-clipping, detestable faces!

To view "The Gentry Discount, Ten Years On," please click here: [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O16CKTd_2uM"]YouTube- The "Gentry Discount" 10 Years On[/nomedia]

Happy Labor Day, fellow Workers of the World!

Categories: Uncategorized

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Comments

swimshark - September 6th, 2010 08:01 PM
So Jim, are you going to take lessons from the 5 year old? I think he might be able to teach you how to swim with bacon only.
jim thornton - September 6th, 2010 08:27 PM
I may need to wrap my lower back in sizzling bacon. I can hardly move. Just took a Flexeril. Who knows? Perhaps the charm of my Ambien postings will live again.

So Alison, you are proposing to wrap me in warm, sizzling bacon?

Where am I?
swimshark - September 6th, 2010 08:45 PM
Hm.. if I wrap you in warm bacon, my cat may want to eat you. Not a pretty thought.

By the way, congrats! I like the first sign.
The Fortress - September 6th, 2010 09:07 PM
I like the color version.

I cannot believe you have hoodwinked SwimShark into becoming a Jimslie vlog regular.
bzaks1424 - September 6th, 2010 09:17 PM
I honestly prefer the non-color version. Then again - if it were up to me, the entire internet would be in black and white with courier font.
swimshark - September 6th, 2010 09:17 PM
It's the drugs.. wait... no it's not. Darn. What caused this?
bzaks1424 - September 6th, 2010 09:20 PM
Originally Posted by swimshark

It's the drugs.. wait... no it's not. Darn. What caused this?

I have heard that when you come into mere contact with a Thornton it changes your body chemistry so that you are uncontrollably attracted to said Thornton... at least that would explain some of the seriously f'ed up dates I've been on.
RustyScupperton - September 6th, 2010 09:20 PM
O it tis a sin!
To be without a twin.
Since friendship from the ordinary kin
Is no match for the love of a twin!
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 07:31 AM
Originally Posted by RustyScupperton

O it tis a sin!
To be without a twin.
Since friendship from the ordinary kin
Is no match for the love of a twin!

I will respond to the rest of the excellent comments soon, but I just must note for the history books that RustyScupperton is not only a superb poet, but a timely poster.

His was the 3,000th comment left on Vlog the Inhaler's 207 entries.

This, for those who are counting, gives me a 14.49 comment per vlog ratio (CPVR).

By contrast, Leslie, the Godmother of Swimming Bloggage, she who can never be caught or matched, especially if she is successful at alienating regular viewers like Alison from my vlog, has 8530 comments for 623 posts, for a 13.69 CPVR.
Bobinator - September 7th, 2010 08:12 AM
I would stay true to the harmonistic flavor and go with the simple signage. I like the colored one better but I am not a harmonist!
spell_me - September 7th, 2010 09:42 AM
I like the non-colored sign best.
Chicken of the Sea - September 7th, 2010 09:51 AM
This is only a preliminary comment. I'll post a more comprehensive comment when I read the whole blog:
1. non-coloured sign;
2. my blog is better;
3. The lady with the broken neck who is waving her vagina around reminded me of myself while trying on my $20 Finis in the hopes it will make up for lack of Big Shoulders training.
bsherm81 - September 7th, 2010 03:31 PM
First, use the black and white sign not because it is more appealing, but because it is more visible. Traffic = $$

the movies? having been to OC and ridden some of those very rides and eaten the same (mediocre) Mac and Manco's pizza, that one was my favorite. it kept the pace and variety of the scenery going for the whole appealing song.

Such poetry that a poem gets to be 3000. From a non-swimmer no less!
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 04:58 PM
Originally Posted by bzaks1424

I honestly prefer the non-color version. Then again - if it were up to me, the entire internet would be in black and white with courier font.

You are a purist.

I am less of a purist.
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:00 PM
Originally Posted by swimshark

It's the drugs.. wait... no it's not. Darn. What caused this?

And they call it...puppy lo-o-o-ove!

You heard me right.

Alison, you have discovered, relatively late in life, that you are into bestiality.

I do not judge.
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:03 PM
Originally Posted by bzaks1424

I have heard that when you come into mere contact with a Thornton it changes your body chemistry so that you are uncontrollably attracted to said Thornton... at least that would explain some of the seriously f'ed up dates I've been on.

Since becoming our long lost triplet, Michael, I think you will find soon that the past participle, f'ed, will be supplanted by the present participle, f'ing, and the preposition, up, will be replaced by the adjective, great.

Be patient. Thorntonhood is about wearing the mantel, but it takes women a little time to catch on.

Once they do, your biggest health risk will be death by dehydration of seminal fluids.
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:06 PM
Originally Posted by Bobinator

I would stay true to the harmonistic flavor and go with the simple signage. I like the colored one better but I am not a harmonist!

You may not be a harmonist per se, Bob, but you are the most harmonious spirit I have met in a long time! And this is not just to butter you up for a revisit of the Carmel Compound Midwest (of which I am now technically also part owner, see your state's statutes on squatter's rights.)
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:08 PM
Originally Posted by spell_me

I like the non-colored sign best.

Thanks, Spell!

By the way, I think (and correct me if I am wrong) that me is spelled M E.

What is the significance of Spell Me? The nitwitted gibe notwithstanding, it doesn't seem like a blanket exhortation to the world at large, but perhaps a request to an intimate--a spouse, perhaps--to take a turn at handling a taxing chore, such as making sure the children don't microwave the hamsters?
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:15 PM
Originally Posted by Chicken of the Sea

This is only a preliminary comment. I'll post a more comprehensive comment when I read the whole blog:
1. non-coloured sign;
2. my blog is better;
3. The lady with the broken neck who is waving her vagina around reminded me of myself while trying on my $20 Finis in the hopes it will make up for lack of Big Shoulders training.

1. What is this "colour" you are talking about?
2. I concede your blog is better, but so very few people actually speak Australian in this country that I think my audience is bigger. There is an absolutely wonderful Farsi poet I like to read and translate into Danish in my spare time, but I may be the only person in Pittsburgh who does this. Th Farsi's blog is better than both of ours; his work, when translated into Danish, is better than my vlog, though this does fall short of your blog in terms of sheer beauty.
3. So the illegal body suits are still legal for one last round up? You should find somebody who has a B70 you could borrow. They are useless after OW season ends this year, and I suspect would let you swim even faster than the $20 Finis.

Other notes: I didn't know a vagina could wave or even be waved, that's how naive I am.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will wave their vaginas to me. 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

T.S. Elliot translated into Australian by J.S. Thornton
jim thornton - September 7th, 2010 05:20 PM
Originally Posted by bsherm81

First, use the black and white sign not because it is more appealing, but because it is more visible. Traffic = $$

the movies? having been to OC and ridden some of those very rides and eaten the same (mediocre) Mac and Manco's pizza, that one was my favorite. it kept the pace and variety of the scenery going for the whole appealing song.

Such poetry that a poem gets to be 3000. From a non-swimmer no less!

Thanks, Bill. I am a little surprised to see the popularity of the "non-coloured" sign (although it does have red in it, along with black and white.) I think my wife Debbie has been leaning in that direction, and your argument--along with the preferences of Spell Me, Bzaks1424, and others may just tip the balance.

Ocean City is a great little town. How did you get started going there? Are you a Kansas City lifer or a transplant to the midwest?

BTW, if I didn't congratulate you already multiple times on your LCM magnificence, let me do it again now.

I found a .50 second change for the slower in my 50; and a .97 change in the 100, this year compared to last year's B70 swims at Indy.

How were your times affected with and without the body suit?