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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

The FAF AFP Digest Advises Vlog the Inhaler

Rating: 7 votes, 5.00 average.

This is a picture of a fortress, the metaphor that the lovely Leslie Livingston has embraced as her USMS inner identity. How and why she chose such a metaphor is lost in the mists of time.

Or I guess you could ask her.

This is a picture of Vlad the Impaler, the medieval ruler (upon whom Dracula is allegedly based) that serves as the inspiration for the lovely Jim Thornton's USMS personna. That and Woodstock from the comic strip, Peanuts.

Jim picked Vlad the Impaler as his self-image because it sounded like Vlog the Inhaler. Really, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Hopefully, this, too, will soon be lost in the mists of time.

Jim picked Woodstock because in his inner mind's eye, he is an adorably cute little yellow bird who doesn't talk.

Naturally, when Jim "Vlog Woodstock" Thornton needed counsel about his vlog, he sought out the advice of Leslie "Fortress" Livingston, whose blog "FAF AFP Digest" sets the standard for blogging excellence on these forums.

Picture of Leslie (on left, with beard) and Jim (on right, in dress) undergoing therapy.

Some of what was discussed can't be revealed here because of mandated reporting laws, Amber alerts, the 10 Commandments, and other aspects of Society's ********, man. But the advice that can be reproduced is this:

"Jim, maybe if you put an occasional workout into your Vlog, you'd get more viewers and comments."

Point taken, Mistress Fortress! May I have another, please!

Here's what I swam today, which I should add is the capstone on a January totaling 36.73 miles:

  • 1 x 1000 broken into a 600 with open turns and a 400 with flip turns, the whole thing incredibly slow, but no less torturous for the slowness, as all the while "Up the Lazy River" played in an endless loop in my brain

  • 20 x 50 on 1:05, the interval chosen so that the exhausted brain would not actually have to count, but rather rely on the clock to more or less do this for him.

  • 1 x 10 minutes in the Sewickley YMCA steam bath

  • 1 x 8 minutes in the Sewickley YMCA men's shower room, shaving during my shower

  • 1 x 30 seconds in the pool again to stop sweating from the steam bath and shower

  • 1 reasonably average flight of stairs to the lobby

And home again, home again, like a fat little pig!

Tomorrow, we have a meet in Franklin, PA, 1 hour and 23 minutes from Sewickley. Those interested in the nice local league we Western Pennsylvanians swim in can view not only our meet schedule but Top 10 Times dating back to 1982. Simple click here and enjoy yourself:

Finally, Leslie, I shall be monitoring the Vlog's activity in the wake of your excellent advice. Who knows? Perhaps one day, the student might even catch up with the teacher. And you know what must happen then, eh?

[ame=""]Amazon Online Reader : If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him! The Pilgrimage of Psychotherapy Patients[/ame]

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  1. The Fortress's Avatar
    What is this AFP? Is that some medieval torture term?

    If your wee brain is over-trained and over-aged and over-ripe, I find it is much easier and mind numbing to do 50s on the 1:00 without having to remember what :05 you were on. Perhaps you have a foreshadowing or flicker of sprinter ADD this dread winter and should commence that speed work I'm nagging you to do? Or, if swimming is torture, why art thou not kicking?

    Post your meet results so we can all compare your 25 backstroke to Stud's. :P

    And you forgot to add your nighttime bowl of ice cream to the list. I know you're having it, and it seems as important as that shower. more :P (Although it is seriously gross that you are shaving in the shower at your Y!)
    Updated January 31st, 2009 at 11:10 PM by The Fortress
  2. Bobinator's Avatar
    Hi Jim......nice posting(yeah like i'm the expert!)
    I wonder where your creativity comes from; you'd think all those laps would numb your mind and dull your senses.
    I'm all in favor of shaving, waxing, bleaching, plucking....yes basically doing all gross things in the locker room at the "Y"......after all they have professionals who clean that stuff up for you.
  3. quicksilver's Avatar
    I see Google is doing it's job.
    Hispanic Singles Forums, Steam Baths, and ads for vacationing in sunny Orlando.

    Happy Ground Hog's Day.
  4. qbrain's Avatar
    Would the world really be a better place if Jim was a cute little yellow bird who didn't talk?

    The world may never know.
  5. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    I found that last comment unacceptable. jim is a BEAUTIFUL little yellow bird whose literary "songs" fill the land with an aching lyricism of wonder.
    "Would the world really be a better place if Jim was a cute little yellow bird who didn't talk?"
    Clearly NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. qbrain's Avatar
    LOL, I think the key to my comment was "didn't talk".

    I am assuming that Jim is depending on us, his humble readers, to delve into the depth of this juxtaposition between his Woodstock personae and his Vlog personae.
  7. qbrain's Avatar
    The world may never know reference.

    [ame=""]YouTube - Tootsie Pop[/ame]
  8. Bobinator's Avatar
    Now that's a cute little video! The first bite into the sucked thin shell of the tootsie roll pop is sublime! The crispy thin shell and the warm chocolate tootsie make a nice contrast then blend together very nicely!
  9. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    I only read your vlog because it didn't have workouts in it!
  10. jim thornton's Avatar
    Maybe i can do some kind of compromise for the people who don't want workouts. I would write it in yellow type on a yellow background, and then the reader would be able to select the invisible block and paste it into a a word processor, change the color, and then read it.

    i am pretty sure these few steps wouldn't inhibit readership in any way for my true fans. maybe i could also write the workouts in a different language, and the reader could paste it into Babelfish translation software?

    Yes, that's what I will do!

    Anything to increase my readership!