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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

There is superstition

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.


My son talked me into growing a "Steeler beard" a couple weeks ago.

It wasn't all that hard to talk me into this because I was lying around with a bubble of gas in my eyeball, awaiting a laser procedure to zap a detached retina back into place, and the opthamologist didn't want me to move around much anyhow.

So I wasn't going to shave regardless.

I shall document the retinal detachment reattachment procedure in a new vlog entry fairly soon.

But I wanted to post this Steeler beard picture now, before the game starts in approximately 79 minutes, give or take, to see if the superstition has any effect on the game's outcome.

I suspect it will have about as much of an effect on the game's outcome as the outside appearance of my two brown-eyed-handsome-man eyeballs will have on my next Challenge Question.

To wit, which eye do you think suffered the detached retina--the left or the right?

Look closely and see if you can determine the problem eye, which is (fingers crossed) no longer that much of a problem, because the procedure seems to have worked, and I am looking forward to trying flip turns again in practice very soon, possibly even tomorrow.

A shiny quarter to anybody who can guess correctly which eye was affected, and then sends me an SASE with your entry.

Here, by the way, is Brett Keisel's beard, which is the inspiration for my son's superstition about me growing a Steeler beard to help the team win.



Brett, in my layman's opinion, seems to be suffering some form of detachment that doesn't have anything to do with retinas.

The game is now set to start in 73 minutes, and be over 3-4 hours later, depending on how many commercial time outs are taken, the risk of some terrorist attack, and who knows what.

My own prediction: the Steelers lose in a blow out.

But perhaps my Steeler beard will ward off this fate.

Time will tell.

There is superstition.

Is it, or is it not, the way?

By the way, if you want to answer the Challenge Question, I am talking my actual left or right eye, not the eye on the left or right side of the photograph.

For those who do not want to return to the top of this vlog entry to re-scrutinize my picture before hazarding a guess, I shall repost here:



Hint: the affected eye still has a surfeit of floaters and what might best be described as heat lightning in the distant periphery. Perhaps you can detect a certain distraction quality from this eyeball, as if it is preoccupied with deciding what is and isn't real.

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  1. gigi's Avatar
    They look the same to me, but since your index finger is pointing to your right eye, I will assume that you are subconsciously pointing to the eye formerly known as detached. OR you are consciously pointing to the wrong eye to throw guessers off the scent.
    Plato? Socrates? Morons, compared to the crafty Jim.
    I say right.
  2. jim thornton's Avatar
    Tally so far:

    Right 1
    Left 0

    Steelers: were being blown out, but have clawed their way back to just a semi-ass whupping, which I guess is like being spanked on a single cheek.

    It's half time. I am thinking about shaving off the beard, but then if they lose, I will never know if violation of the superstition was the reason. If I leave the beard on till the bitter end, and they lose, then I will know the superstition didn't matter.

    But if they win?
  3. Bobinator's Avatar
    IDK but I'll say left since you are too tricky to point at the afflicted eye!
    Okay back to the BEP's!!!!!!! Fergie does a great Slash! Great pug commercial too!
  4. bsherm81's Avatar
    I'll guess it's the left, and with that TD here come the Steelers!

    The pug was tough, but the Peas were tougher.
  5. jim thornton's Avatar
    Tally:

    2 rights (Amanda voted by text)
    2 lefts

    Steelers: lost by a rout.

    Eye quiz to be answered after we get a few more votes in. But so far, my other prediction is coming true. 50-50 votes suggest that it's random...

    Very superstitious,
    Writing's on the wall,
    Very superstitious,
    Ladders bout' to fall,
    Thirteen month old baby,
    Broke the lookin' glass
    Seven years of bad luck,
    The good things in your past

    [Chorus]
    When you believe in things
    That you don't understand,
    Then you suffer,
    Superstition aint the way

    Hey

    [Verse 2]
    Very superstitious,
    Wash your face and hands,
    Rid me of the problem,
    Do all that you can,
    Keep me in a daydream,
    Keep me goin' strong,
    You don't wanna save me,
    Sad is the soul

    [Chorus]
    When you believe in things
    That you don't understand,
    Then you suffer,
    Superstition ain't the way,
    Yeh, yeh

    Very superstitious,
    Nothin' more to say,
    Very superstitious,
    The devil's on his way,
    Thirteen month old baby,
    Broke the lookin' glass,
    Seven years of bad luck,
    Good things in your past

    When you believe in things
    That you don't understand,
    Then you suffer,
    Superstition ain't the way,
    No, no, no
  6. kuztoo's Avatar
    And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:... mark 9:47
  7. jim thornton's Avatar
    "Dexter" means to the right of the bearer of the arms, and to the left by the viewer's eyes. "Sinister" means to the left of the bearer, and to the right of the viewer's eyes, sinister coming from the Latin and meaning left. The dexter side is considered the honorable side....Wikipedia



    Denuded of superstitious facial hair, I am hoping that the CPAP nasal pillows shall rest more easily inside my weary nostrils this night, and thus permit me to awake with cognitive faculties renewed enough to wrestle my latest article demon to the mat and pin it thereupon!

    To those of you who guessed left, it is, indeed, my sinister eye that was affected.

    Thanks, John, for your plucking advice.

    I suspect it will find its way into my dreams.
  8. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Now you are a little TOO clean shaven. Watch my new film, "Representation and Morality in Political Art", for the correct amount of facial hair for people who look exactly like us.
    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEiqW5RHMZg"]YouTube - Representation and Morality in Political Art[/nomedia]
  9. jim thornton's Avatar
    Too exhausted, dearest Scupperton, to watch tonight. Will leave myself something to look forward to come tomorrow.

    You don't think that the woodpecker in the upper left hand corner of my bedroom-office has designs on my still healing sinister eye, do you?

    No, I can't believe Woody would do such a thing.

    Until the morrow, dearest Scupperton, my mentour, my role model, and my saviour spiritually, if not quite as cajolably so in the financial realm, where the sinking ship accelerates its downwards-directed shudderings and quakings and intentions.
  10. bzaks1424's Avatar
    Such a shame the steelers couldn't pull it off. Now I have to listen to packer fans all around me.
  11. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    I can't believe I got it wrong!!! You'd better get your right eye checked out asap because there's something not quite right about it
  12. bsherm81's Avatar
    I won't crow (pecker either) about getting the eye guess right. How did you occasion to have such a condition/injury come about?

    ...and sorry for your Steelers.
  13. bzaks1424's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken of the Sea
    I can't believe I got it wrong!!! You'd better get your right eye checked out asap because there's something not quite right about it
    Do you think that it could actually be a combination of both eyes? Perhaps there's something more than we're prepared to deal with?
  14. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobinator
    IDK but I'll say left since you are too tricky to point at the afflicted eye!
    Okay back to the BEP's!!!!!!! Fergie does a great Slash! Great pug commercial too!
    You were the first to correctly pinpoint the affected orb. But honestly, I had no idea whatsoever where my fingers were pointing when I took this picture with my web cam, using my other hand to press the mouse button!
  15. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by gigi
    They look the same to me, but since your index finger is pointing to your right eye, I will assume that you are subconsciously pointing to the eye formerly known as detached. OR you are consciously pointing to the wrong eye to throw guessers off the scent.
    Plato? Socrates? Morons, compared to the crafty Jim.
    I say right.
    Thanks for your faith in me, Gigi, but I am both guileless and without any discernible craft. My mosaic tile ashtray, for instance, made one summer at summer camp subsequently caught on fire.

    As you know by now, you guessed wrong. It was the sinister not dexter eye that failed me.
  16. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by bsherm81
    ...with that TD here come the Steelers!
    e·jac·u·la·tion   
    [ih-jak-yuh-ley-shuhn] Show IPA
    –noun
    1.
    an abrupt, exclamatory utterance.

    To the disappointment of us Steeler fans, your words, sir, proved to be a premature ejaculation.
  17. bzaks1424's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jim thornton
    To the disappointment of us Steeler fans, your words, sir, proved to be a premature ejaculation.
    THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
  18. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by RustyScupperton
    Now you are a little TOO clean shaven. Watch my new film, "Representation and Morality in Political Art", for the correct amount of facial hair for people who look exactly like us.
    YouTube - Representation and Morality in Political Art
    This was a SENSATIONAL movie and I STRONGLY URGE my comrades to click on it. A lot of overlapping themes with the recent Swimmer magazine letter flap.

    Excellent movie, Scupperton! Bravo!
  19. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by bzaks1424
    Such a shame the steelers couldn't pull it off. Now I have to listen to packer fans all around me.
    Michael, I really don't think you should be calling people "packers." A person's football orientation is not a lifestyle "choice." Geography is destiny. Really, what else do Wisconsinites have in life?

    Winning is the only thing?

    Really?

    Thank god you finally did it, you bastard people!

    That's how you should talk to these Green Bay people.
  20. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken of the Sea
    You'd better get your right eye checked out asap because there's something not quite right about it
    As long as my "not quite right" features are symmetrically aberrant, I tend not to worry about them too much.

    It's a quirk of us denial-hypochondriacs. We could have horrible shooting pains in our left arms, but then if, by some happy miracle, the same horrible shooting pains start up in our right arms, we no longer worry.
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