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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Dara, Stump, and Me

Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average.
This just in:

Charming Stump wins over crowds, judges

Veteran dog comes out of retirement with record-breaking performance




At age 10, crowd-charming Stump is 14 years older than I am, that is, after the well-known and oft-verified dog-to-human year conversion is applied.

Stump has thus emerged as the oldest male Gold Medal winner in the history of competitive sports.

This just in a long time ago:




Dara Torres, then 41 and mother of tot, is oldest female in history to get three silver medals in Olympic history. In this picture, Vlog the Inhaler is surreptitiously sucking down great lungfuls of Dara's vapors.

This not yet in:

I have another grueling Bill White swimming practice tonight. To prepare for this, I have done my usual of late:


  • worked some in the morning
  • drank 16 ounces of soy milk, consumed one soy yogurt, and interviewed experts on the potential dangers of too much dietary soy
  • took a nap for about 45 minutes
  • awoke 20 minutes ago in a deep stupor of sleep inertia
  • brewed and am now consuming my second round of coffee of the day (it is now 3:30)
  • trying to burst out of my imprisonment of grogginess and effete-dom
  • mentally telling myself that I wil break my own pathetic record in the 200 backstroke at a dinky little Y meet this weekend
  • visualizing how I will do this by kicking SDKs as long as I can off of every turn
  • remembering yesterday's practice when I accustomed myself to flooded sinuses till this felt almost normal
  • and finally, feeling the vapors of ancient Dara fusing with the inspiration of even more ancient Stump, my more proper role model in life because A) he is a male, and B) he is a dog
  • and preparing myself for the missing link transition wherein I become the perfect 56-year-old woman-man-canine chimera bridging the gap between Dara's Silver Excellence and Stump's Gold Magnificence:



Lordy! Where did this sudden hunger come from?

(Note: thanks as always to the magnificent Rusty Scupperton for his Photoshopping bewonderment.)

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Updated February 12th, 2009 at 01:16 PM by jim thornton (photo link problems)

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Comments

  1. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    Mr Inhaler,

    Unable to get today's blog pictures to load, I was forced to use my imagination... This resulted in a "good" rating instead of "excellent".

    I've been a little tired lately and suffering from near-fatal PMS, or my imaginary blog-pictures would surely have earned you at least an "excellent" (maybe even a "woof").
  2. Bobinator's Avatar
    Hi jimbo!
    I thought Stump, just like Dara Torres did a fine job and was a crowd favorite.........see, being old isn't so bad! The the male pug who placed 2nd in the toy group was definitely my pick of the litter; how can any dog be better than a pompous, proud little pug!
  3. jim thornton's Avatar
    Bobinator, were you able to see all four pix in this vlog--stump, me and dara, me as two fighting dogs, and Cycle Senior dog food for old dogs? Chicken of the Sea has reported only being able to see one of these pictures, which disturbs me!

    I agree with you about the proud little pug, the most maneuverable of all lap sitting flea-attracting-away-from-royalty dogs!

    If any one wants me article on dogs, send me an email address and I will be glad to send you the .pdf. I think you will find it entertaining!
  4. Bobinator's Avatar
    Hi Jim,
    I could only see 1 pic on your vlog, you and Dara T.
    I would like the dog article, please send to rwalker@ccs.k12.in.us
  5. Iwannafly's Avatar
    Yes indeed, the dog article was entertaining. I too, can only see the picture of you and Ms. Torres. No pictures of Stump!:-(
  6. jim thornton's Avatar
    Well, I asked Mr. Jim "Web Master Extraordinaire" what gives with the picture problems, and he provided a pretty good explanation. I am going to try it again. If you have a chance to revisit this vlog in the next day or so, let me know if the pictures now work. Thanks! PS it's now 12:09 eastern time (noonish) so give me a few moments.
  7. Iwannafly's Avatar
    Nice!!!
  8. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Jimby may be an old dog, but he sure do teach us all some good new tricks!
    Woof!!!!
  9. jim thornton's Avatar
    Thanks. I think I have the picture snafu figured out so that never again in the history of Vlog will my loyal viewers have to suffer failure to see my visions!
  10. Bobinator's Avatar
    Awesome pictures!!!!!! I love the two dogs with human faces!!!!! Is that your face on the pug? Who is the other dog? I am very impressed!