Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Good show, Jimbo!

Signed,

Jamesuardo

I can't believe you called me a horse on this gloomy day.

A pretty pony puff princess is not really a horse.

I am outwardly outraged but inwardly inraged at my exclusion from this contest. However, I will take solace in the newly unlocked universe of equine humor. I think this meme has legs! (just a softball to get started)

I will see if i can find my award winning cartoon, "Beating off a dead horse."

I would think that the good doctor and the professor should share in your treasure, as they may have helped you to edge out the competition in the last furlough. Congrats and enjoy a mint julep. Perhaps I will place this coming year.

Originally Posted by jim thornton

I will see if i can find my award winning cartoon, "Beating off a dead horse."

the files in that folder probably shouldn't be shared with anyone.

What actually is your reward?

Originally Posted by rxleakem

I would think that the good doctor and the professor should share in your treasure, as they may have helped you to edge out the competition in the last furlough. Congrats and enjoy a mint julep. Perhaps I will place this coming year.

Indeed, I agree! I absolutely could not have won this most prestigious of all Top Ten USMS Blogging Championships were it not for a HUGE pile of little people lifting me on their shoulders, from which I could then mount myself to standing position, and climb up on their heads, then stand on my very tiptoes to get that much higher! (Sorry to those of you who's skulls took the incredible pounds per square inch on my pointed booties digging in!)

I see you have a farm animal in your picture. Many can't tell the difference between a cow, a pig, and a chicken these days, but what you are holding is clearly a chicken.

What you need is a start Shetland pony!

By the way, what is the origin of Rxleakem?

My guesses are A) you make one of those BPH drugs that let older fellows with Idaho potato-sized prostates urinate more easily, or B) you are a professional phlebotomist.

Either one is a GREAT job for an aspiring swim blogger. I see glory in your future, young man! Just switch that chicken for a Shetland pony.

"Big Red" Jimby, the Secretariat of our generation...well Secretariat was my generation...anyways congratulations on your self-awarded (but totally deserving) "prime" status. Maybe we should cook you and eat you.

Originally Posted by That Guy

the files in that folder probably shouldn't be shared with anyone.

You have no idea.

Originally Posted by rodent

What actually is your reward?

My reward, Jack, is simply seeing the smiles and crinkling joy-filled eyes of the youngsters, and the young adults, and the middle aged, and the young old, and the middle old, and the old old--the happiness of the whole human harmony, in other words--as they look at me and have the opportunity to enjoy unadulterated magnificence vicariously.

Who, really, could ask for anything more?

Originally Posted by Kurt Dickson

"Big Red" Jimby, the Secretariat of our generation...well Secretariat was my generation...anyways congratulations on your self-awarded (but totally deserving) "prime" status. Maybe we should cook you and eat you.

Ah, Dr. Dickson! As always, you are one humorous son B!

Secretariat was not cooked and eaten. He had a much more useful post-racing purpose.

As do I!

To wit: swimmers world wide can start sending me your daughters anytime you want to make sure that your grandchildren have the very best of thoroughbred genes.

And unlike Secretariat, there will be no need for winches and cattle prods inserted up to the prostate gland! Not necessary!

Satisfaction guaranteed, with only a few legal codicils. You and your young female relatives can always count on blogger Jim Thornton putting the Thorough (and the bred!) into Thoroughbred! TM

(As a souvenir, each client will receive a complimentary copy of Jim's classic Beating Off a Dead Horse and Other Heartwarming Cartoons (Random House, 1973.)

Great one
Congratulations on your hilarious content & amazing comment to post ratio

Congratulations to you, Ande, for making the Top Ten in all three blogging categories. A testament to your all-round linguistic athleticism!

Is there a better bloggist in the swimming or any other universe? A resounding "Neighhhh!", whinny I!

Originally Posted by jim thornton

Congratulations to you, Ande, for making the Top Ten in all three blogging categories. A testament to your all-round linguistic athleticism!

Thank you Jim,

I should have many more posts but got lazy or busy & didn't blog a bunch of workouts & doubles.

Maybe I'd have had more comments If

I'd commented on more posts or individually responded to each comment vs batching several in one

Or included more details in my blog

Nice, my first USMS (solo) Top Tens! And I got the elusive Pig Iron award to boot!

So where do I go to pick up this award? Will it be waiting for me at the Sewickley YMCA?

You couldn't have done it without your fans

Originally Posted by RustyScupperton

Is there a better bloggist in the swimming or any other universe? A resounding "Neighhhh!", whinny I!

Thanks, Rusty! I like the way you phrase your rhetorical questions--and answer them in a resoundingly unambiguous fashion.

You know, I tend to whinny, too, on occasion. Perhaps we should meet some day and record some cowboy songs. I am confident we could do a great Feranti and Tysher meer the Everly Brothers rendition of Tennessee Stud:

Along about eighteen and twenty-five I left Tennessee very much alive I never would have got through the Arkansas mud If I hadn't been a-ridin on the Tennessee stud I had some trouble with my sweetheart's pa One of her brothers was a bad outlaw I sent her a letter by my Uncle Fud And I rode away on the Tennessee stud CHORUS: The Tennessee stud was long and lean The color of the sun and his eyes were green He had the nerve and he had the blood And there never was a hoss like the Tennessee stud One day I was ridin' in the beautiful land And ran smack into an Indian band They jerked their knives with a whoop and a yell But I rode away like a bat out of hell Well I circled their camp for a time or two And showed what a Tennessee hoss could do And them redskin boys never got my blood 'Cause I was a-ridin' on the Tennessee stud CHORUS We drifted on down into no man's land We crossed the river called the Rio Grande I raced my hoss with the Spaniards bold Till I got me a skin full of silver and gold Me and a gambler we couldn't agree We got in a fight over Tennessee We jerked our guns, he fell with a thud And I got away on the Tennessee stud CHORUS Well, I got as lonesome as a man can be Dreamin' of my girl in Tennessee The Tennessee stud's green eyes turned blue 'Cause he was a-dneamin' of a sweetheart too We loped on back across Arkansas I whipped her brother and I whipped her pa I found that girl with the golden hair And she was ridin' on a Tennessee mare CHORUS Stirrup to stirrup and side by side We crossed the mountains and the valleys wide We came to Big Muddy and we forded the flood On the Tennessee mare and the Tennessee stud Pretty little baby on the cabin floor Little hoss colt playin' 'round the door I love the girl with golden hair And the Tennessee stud loves the Tennessee mare CHORUS ©1958 Warden Music Company, Inc. (BMI)