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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

High Note On A Down Day--plus a Horror Movie!

Rating: 4 votes, 5.00 average.
18 Comments
by
jim thornton
, March 9th, 2009 at 09:38 PM (3906 Views)
Thanks to the amazing Kristina Ulveling, AKA, CremePuff, who just alerted us FaceBookers that FINA has posted its 2008 Top 10 Masters Tabulations, I discovered that:

A) Kristina did extremely well here, including some No. 1 in the World performances


Kristina Ulveling, multiple world champion, resting in between "heats"


B) Leslie also did extremely well, though not quite as well as the Puffster, but still really good


The magnificent Leslie; if you squint and hope enough, you can almost convince yourself that is you reflected in her designer sunglasses. Almost!



C) Soy Jimby also managed to make the Top 10 in the World in 4 separate events, including for the first time in recent memory, one involving non-freestyle.

This sort of thing does not happen to me every day, so I am taking the liberty of posting my name in the actual tabulations for your perusal and admiration:



Your vloggist places 6th in the World in the marquee event, the 100 meter freestyle





He continues ascending the world hierarchy, making it to 5th in the World in the 200 free...then, alas, plateaus with a second 5th in the World in the 400 free...





And finally, I managed to squeak in--10th place on the Planet known as Earth to you Earthlings--in the 400 IM. For what it's worth, this race was the first time in 3 or 4 years--and I am including practice here, not just meets--that I swam a continuous 100 butterfly...





After a month of soy ingestion, Jim's resemblance to Ghandi-playing actor, Ben Kingsley, becomes impossible to ignore. Jim, too, tries to use a combination of non violent protest to beat his competitors in the pool.

How soon will his soy ingestion finally get him the swimming world recognition as Outstanding Shim* Swimmer in the 55-59 age group, not including Laura Vall?

Only time will tell. But here is a Thornton Brothers film that continues to make my case as one of the world's outstanding old Shims:

(* Tom Patterson, AKA, tjrpatt, has very kindly explained to me in a previous comment that "Shim" is now the politically correct noun for us She-Males. I am so new to the community that I don't even know when I am accidentally insulting us! Sorry, guyals!)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGnKTFhNErM"]YouTube - Soymare on Elm Street[/ame]

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Comments

  1. The Fortress's Avatar
    Does the poor nurse with the nicey mcnice voice know John photoshopped her face?!

    Nice job on the 400 IM. I liked the way you colored the circular shapes. Reminds me of someone.
    Updated March 9th, 2009 at 10:42 PM by The Fortress
  2. jim thornton's Avatar
    Thanks, Leslie. I just wanted to add here that our Leslie The Fortress Livington was, in the World,

    2nd!
    she's No. 2!
    she's No. 2!!

    sorry I didn't point this out in the vlog proper!

  3. jim thornton's Avatar
    Sorry, the title is misspelled and it won't let me edit it. Leslie was Second in the World, not Sedond in the World!
  4. The Fortress's Avatar
    hahaha. Kurt will come along anytime now and say this sucks. #2 = loser. #2 = wannabe. #2 = bridesmaid. While all this may well be true, I am not bothered by it whatsoever.

    You did not answer my photo shop question, #4!
  5. tjrpatt's Avatar
    That was too funny! Great vid.
  6. tjrpatt's Avatar
    Good job on your FINA rankings! The USA pretty much dominated the 400 free in the Top 5 of the 55-59 year olds.
  7. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    As far as we know the nice technician doesn't know that I "Photoshoped her face" mainly because I didn't. I Photoshoped her BODY. Her face was untouched!
  8. Bobinator's Avatar
    Well jimby, I will have to think twice before I ever have blood drawn again! Have you had any other male type reactions to the draw (sore arm/shoulder, weakness, nausea)?
    Are you having soy withdrawl?
    Good luck!
    Bobin
  9. onefish's Avatar
    Forget "Gahndi", see "Sexy Beast". That will cure you of any pacifist leanings. And the way you destroyed your competition rings truer with the latter.
  10. 's Avatar
    Re: Video - both funny and disturbing - heavier on the funny thankfully. Well done!

    Great show post my watching numerous episodes of "Intervention" last night. Your clip was thankfully more soft-core than Intervention. While you may have an unhealthy and possibly disturbing affinity for needles, nurses gone wild, and tourniquets, at least you are not bearded and homeless! Whew!

    On a more serious note, high praises for your excellent showing in the FINA rankings. You have betrayed me however by rearing your little head (pardon me, large head) in the 400 IM of all things. Traitor!
  11. 's Avatar
    I think Jim is #1 IN THE WORLD (if not the world record holder) as the 400 IM STALKER!
  12. jim thornton's Avatar
    World Champion Kristina Ulveling: you tell me which head you want me to rear, and I will do it even if it requires pharmaceutical assistance to execute your edicts.

    I am your unworthy Renfield.
  13. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    Yes, Jimbo, how IS your menopause going? any flashes (hot or otherwise)?
    and congratulations!
  14. jim thornton's Avatar
    I don't know whether to weep or scream at that infuriating man in my life! Damn you, Jim! Why must you be so lovable?

    I hate you, I love you.

    Yours always, She Jim
  15. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by The Fortress
    hahaha. Kurt will come along anytime now and say this sucks. #2 = loser. #2 = wannabe. #2 = bridesmaid. While all this may well be true, I am not bothered by it whatsoever.

    You did not answer my photo shop question, #4!
    Leslie, your negativity regarding me is hurtful. Coming from someone whose best place was 3rd in, I think, an exhibition event (200 LCM Back) where the world probably only fielded 5 entrants, I am not able to speak about being number 2. Congratulations on #2 and others on #1. I shall now go cry myself to sleep.

    P.S. Elvira is hot
  16. jim thornton's Avatar
    I will introduce Elvira to your homocular avatar, Kurt!

    World Top 10er in the 400 and 800 free plus 200 back. In an age group where people are still kind of robust and healthy. Like Michael Ross and Chris Stevenson.

    And Kurt Dickson.

    You are a magnificent specimen, I must say. And the progeny of Elvira and your avatar will be even more so.
  17. The Fortress's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt Dickson
    Leslie, your negativity regarding me is hurtful. Coming from someone whose best place was 3rd in, I think, an exhibition event (200 LCM Back) where the world probably only fielded 5 entrants, I am not able to speak about being number 2. Congratulations on #2 and others on #1. I shall now go cry myself to sleep.

    P.S. Elvira is hot
    Never fear, Kurt. As a #3 as well as #2 myself, we can cry together behind my designer sunglasses. Let's just make it a very cynical crying ourselves to sleep session.
    Updated March 11th, 2009 at 08:16 AM by The Fortress
  18. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    Alas, I have only Rudy Project sunglasses (circa 1998) with dorky prescription inserts.

    We shall listen to one of my all-time favorite tunes--Number 2 by Joe Jackson. I will try to squeeze into one of my many bridesmaid's dresses (the one that shows off my cleavage) and shoes (the ones that makes my calves look nice)...good times.