Chowmi's Blog

If you want something that will help you without altering training try creatine maybe? lol. Highly recommended by Jazz Hands. But huge negative -- bloaty side effects.

By the third kid, I can't get too worked up about elementary school grades. Dealing with teens seems to have sapped/killed any remaining helicopter parenting in me. I'm just trying to survive on nights where Teen Fort, after being mean all day, comes in and ask for ideas/help on college essays at 10:30 pm.

I wonder if Speedo agrees with me.

Speedo is already taking that drug, it's called beer, and it allows him to barely train and achieve incredible times in practice.

As someone with no experience in parenting but more experience than I'd like in having to be diplomatic and tactful, good job with the email.

The initial reaction when I saw the report....just image Yosemite Sam! Worst case is she changes her mind and doesn't change the grade. And by the way, the current grade is an 88, but should have been 95-96. Question, dear blog readers, what should I do - let it go or not? On one hand, getting a B in the 6th grades means very little. It is a great life lesson that sometimes, yes, you do get screwed, and guess what, even mom and dad can't fix it for you even though you were right, and yes, it's not fair. On the other hand, making A honor roll is VERY VERY difficult. And my daughters have made high honor roll each year (straight A's for the entire year). So this is very important to them, and to me. And let's face it, I think it's entirely ok to say it's about me, too!

IMO: (As Dad and Professor who would have been similarly annoyed) You should not intervene, but should talk to your daughter and help her figure out a way to handle the matter herself. To be successful in academe, one has to take charge of his/her own education, even in the 6th grade. Ultimately, getting the problem "fixed" may cost your daughter some political capital. This is a very common situation in life. This is a great opportunity for your daughter to learn about that. She will need to think about whether the value of getting the problem fixed is worth "cost" to her. Yes, getting the A honor roll has a cost, and sometimes that's not just study time. As ande says, "Is the prize worth the price?"

In my experience, the very best students often do not have the highest GPAs. The very best students care about learning the material, not the final grade. If one cares very much about learning the material, then she/he will learn the material and perform well academically, but the satisfaction of learning something new is the real reward, so there is little need to get the A at all costs, (like pi$$ing of the principal).

Originally Posted by The Fortress

If you want something that will help you without altering training try creatine maybe? lol. Highly recommended by Jazz Hands. But huge negative -- bloaty side effects.

By the third kid, I can't get too worked up about elementary school grades. Dealing with teens seems to have sapped/killed any remaining helicopter parenting in me. I'm just trying to survive on nights where Teen Fort, after being mean all day, comes in and ask for ideas/help on college essays at 10:30 pm.

I got this P90X drink mix and it supposedly has creatine in it. Not sure what else is in this mix and not sure it would pass a drug test? However, I started bloating - and was worried for a bit that my metabolic Dorian Grey had given up on me. So I stopped drinking it and i'm back to my usual bloatiness, and not perpetual bloating.

I totally hear you. It's probably like when I hear parents going on and on about their babies/toddlers/preschoolers and I just want to tell them to chill.

My hubby floored me by saying maybe it's alright for the girls to slack off a bit. The real reason we were so involved was to get them into a grade 4-8 school to avoid the public MIDDLE schools. Their feeder high school is still our first choice. So what's the big deal if they get a bunch of A's sprinkled with Bs? Thanks for the perspective.

Originally Posted by qbrain

Speedo is already taking that drug, it's called beer, and it allows him to barely train and achieve incredible times in practice.

I'm allergic to alchohol. Many asians are. You get really red and a strange white line up your chest, like an alcholometer. I kid you not. Are you swimming in the local DAMM SCM meet? I am!

Originally Posted by ekw

As someone with no experience in parenting but more experience than I'd like in having to be diplomatic and tactful, good job with the email.

Thank you. You also need to have an outlet to let out the steam first, like in Firestarter (back off, back off!). Thankfully, I have a few friends and when each one wants to vent and get it off her chest first, then we are all smiles and diplomacy when the moment arrives.

Originally Posted by Karl_S

IMO: (As Dad and Professor who would have been similarly annoyed) You should not intervene, but should talk to your daughter and help her figure out a way to handle the matter herself. To be successful in academe, one has to take charge of his/her own education, even in the 6th grade. Ultimately, getting the problem "fixed" may cost your daughter some political capital. This is a very common situation in life. This is a great opportunity for your daughter to learn about that. She will need to think about whether the value of getting the problem fixed is worth "cost" to her. Yes, getting the A honor roll has a cost, and sometimes that's not just study time. As ande says, "Is the prize worth the price?"

In my experience, the very best students often do not have the highest GPAs. The very best students care about learning the material, not the final grade. If one cares very much about learning the material, then she/he will learn the material and perform well academically, but the satisfaction of learning something new is the real reward, so there is little need to get the A at all costs, (like pi$$ing of the principal).

Thanks for your insights. I totally agree with your analsyis and theories. The good news is that the teacher has confirmed she will attempt to change the grade. The difficulty is simply the procedure once grades have already come out - principal approval and going "through the system". And that is all we can do is wait now.

For my sixthie, the real important thing at her age is to have been able to go to the A honor roll party, where they get 30 minutes on the playground and a disgusting cupcake. Everyone else has to sit in class, like it's punishment. I had a strong suspicion that there would be a spectacularly weird rule that she would not be able to go since her grade change isn't official, EVEN THOUGH it was this same teacher that would be letting her go or not during her class (last period). I told my sixthie, I know it's not fair and really weird, but don't show how upset you are and try to keep calm. She did a good job but was inside very sad.

I hear you on the grades vs. learning thing. Parents are people and they have their strengths and weaknesses. Mine is I never had a love of learning. It was always a competition to get the grade, or rather to get the best grade for the least amount of effort. I had to balance that with swimming, and a very second activity of playing the cello. I have already told my girls that. I have told them that I can't help them have a love of learning, only to be as efficient and effective with their time as possible. And mathematically how to approach classes to ensure decent grades. While learning is important, there's no reason why not to get a good grade at the same time!

Originally Posted by Karl_S

IMO: (As Dad and Professor who would have been similarly annoyed) You should not intervene, but should talk to your daughter and help her figure out a way to handle the matter herself. To be successful in academe, one has to take charge of his/her own education, even in the 6th grade. Ultimately, getting the problem "fixed" may cost your daughter some political capital. This is a very common situation in life. This is a great opportunity for your daughter to learn about that. She will need to think about whether the value of getting the problem fixed is worth "cost" to her. Yes, getting the A honor roll has a cost, and sometimes that's not just study time. As ande says, "Is the prize worth the price?"

Tee hee - and yes, I was keenly aware that this is one of 6 reporting periods, with 5 MORE TO GO. Bottom line, I won't be doing a peep more about it!

Originally Posted by chowmi

Thank you. You also need to have an outlet to let out the steam first, like in Firestarter (back off, back off!). Thankfully, I have a few friends and when each one wants to vent and get it off her chest first, then we are all smiles and diplomacy when the moment arrives.

Good friends and a steady mantra of "not until I have tenure and senior rank... not until I have tenure and senior rank..." count for a lot.

Originally Posted by chowmi

I got this P90X drink mix and it supposedly has creatine in it. Not sure what else is in this mix and not sure it would pass a drug test? However, I started bloating - and was worried for a bit that my metabolic Dorian Grey had given up on me. So I stopped drinking it and i'm back to my usual bloatiness, and not perpetual bloating.

I totally hear you. It's probably like when I hear parents going on and on about their babies/toddlers/preschoolers and I just want to tell them to chill.

My hubby floored me by saying maybe it's alright for the girls to slack off a bit. The real reason we were so involved was to get them into a grade 4-8 school to avoid the public MIDDLE schools. Their feeder high school is still our first choice. So what's the big deal if they get a bunch of A's sprinkled with Bs? Thanks for the perspective.

I'm VERY anti-bloating too after having a huge amount of it when I was hypo.

Babies and toddlers practically make me break out in hives and throw up.

Lil Fort is in that setting too. I think it must be an advantage to her to have a Mom who is half dead from parenting and training. Though there are still some things I am a nazi about -- like bedtime! In general, she is much more independent in school than my other two were at that age. She is now off on her own studying for 3 tests.

School politics can always be quite unique depending on the teacher and how they like to operate.

Since the principal is somehow involved the process if you were to have cc'd him on the initial message it puts a slight onus of responsibility on the teacher to take action without too much of a delay. No one wants their higher up to ever get the impression that something could ever fall through the cracks no matter how small the matter is.

Originally Posted by quicksilver

School politics can always be quite unique depending on the teacher and how they like to operate.

Since the principal is somehow involved the process if you were to have cc'd him on the initial message it puts a slight onus of responsibility on the teacher to take action without too much of a delay. No one wants their higher up to ever get the impression that something could ever fall through the cracks no matter how small the matter is.

Thanks, that is advice to file away. In this case, and since Claire confirmed that the teacher intends to send in the grade change, I won't worry about it and I think it's not worth the fight over the 88. If the principal won't ok it, it will only mean the teacher isn't willing to champion her own mistake, and i'd rather have 5 As than 1 A and subject Claire to a possibly vindictive teacher for the remainder of the school year. And BTW, she currently has a 100 in 2nd semester!

I pride myself on never having gone to the principal yet. I'm going to save my silver bullets for when I really will need to go in. And rule of thumb for me is, if you aren't going to file an official complaint form that goes into their files, then it may not be dire enough, or try yet another way to resolve it at the immediate teacher level.

Originally Posted by The Fortress

I'm VERY anti-bloating too after having a huge amount of it when I was hypo.

Babies and toddlers practically make me break out in hives and throw up.

Lil Fort is in that setting too. I think it must be an advantage to her to have a Mom who is half dead from parenting and training. Though there are still some things I am a nazi about -- like bedtime! In general, she is much more independent in school than my other two were at that age. She is now off on her own studying for 3 tests.

I am showing signs of Fortism. I didn't go to Parent teacher conferences this year or last year, except to talk to this one teacher, and not really about Claire's performance at all. Christ, she had all 90-100's on her work. A zero averaged in brought it down to an 88. It's time for me to shut up already. Anyone want me to start talking about Lance?

Originally Posted by The Fortress

Babies and toddlers practically make me break out in hives and throw up.

It's a normal reaction after many years of parenting.

Originally Posted by chowmi

I am showing signs of Fortism. I didn't go to Parent teacher conferences this year or last year, except to talk to this one teacher, and not really about Claire's performance at all. Christ, she had all 90-100's on her work. A zero averaged in brought it down to an 88. It's time for me to shut up already. Anyone want me to start talking about Lance?

I don't attend the 7:00 am meet and greet sessions at my kids' high school. You have about a minute with the teacher. I don't care that much what they look like. I have enough trouble remembering their names during the school year despite reading a zillion on line progress reports. I have never commented on a report card either. I did email Lil Fort's teacher on one occasion in second grade when she was being bullied by two kids. You say that word and you get an insta reaction!

Lance should confess all and write a book with all proceeds going to LiveStrong.

Originally Posted by quicksilver

It's a normal reaction after many years of parenting.

I know. I just hope it wears off before any of my kids get the urge to become parents. With a 12 year old still, I'm not ready to change diapers and burb for a looooong time!