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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Jimmy Boo Boo Child's Possibly Premature Ejaculation

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.


It begins!

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ALL (FIRST EVER INDIVIDUAL) AMERICAN!!!!!?





!


Let's hope the above ejaculation does not prove premature, for the listings are still preliminary. My fingers have been crossed so long it looks like I have developed arthritis.

For those hoping to follow in my path to flukish glory in what the current edition of Swimmer calls "the premiere event in swimming, the 100 LCM freestyle", I say it is critical to have a good role model.

I will happily shoulder that burden for you, just as a little girl down 'Bama way has shouldered that burden for me!


Note: to see the movie, you need to click on this link. Clicking on the picture below the link won't do you any good.

I would also like to thank, in as public a way as possible, cinematographer and still photographer nonpareil, John Kuzmkowski.

How John has time to work on his artistry while simultaneously racking up the #2 position in Go The Distance is beyond me!

If I were a young girl, and I assure you I am not, I would find this combination of creativity and indefatigable endurance absolutely irresistible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM3wa...ican - YouTube


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Updated November 9th, 2012 at 01:45 PM by jim thornton

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Comments

  1. jim thornton's Avatar
    Leslie suggested that someone could possibly lodge a complaint about the title of today's vlog, so I shall simply clarify that I am referring to the following:

    premature [ˌprɛməˈtjʊə ˈprɛməˌtjʊə]
    adj
    1. occurring or existing before the normal or expected time
    2. impulsive or hasty a premature judgment

    e·jac·u·late (-jky-lt)
    v. e·jac·u·lat·ed, e·jac·u·lat·ing, e·jac·u·lates
    v.tr.

    To utter suddenly and passionately; exclaim.
    v.intr.
  2. kuztoo's Avatar
    what the f are you wearing on your feet?
  3. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Brud, you are now the King of 2 domains, one physical (#1 in swimming) and one intellectual (#1 in journalism). Which makes me think that thyou are ina very very microscopically small Venn Diagram overlap of these 2 elite classes of humanity, great athletes and great writers. And I would further submit that you are such an incredibly nice guy, that you may be number 1 in the country in likeability! Putting youas perhaps the best person this country, or any country, has ever known or will ever know! All hail Jm Thornton, literally the best person who has ever lived!!!!!!!
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by kuztoo
    what the f are you wearing on your feet?
    It appears to be the prototype of Jellies! This picture dates back to 1954 or 1955. I had to dress up because I was about to do my first baby sitting job--for this Polish family out in Greensburg who couldn't afford a teenaged babysitter.

    I had fun. Seems like the kids' names were John and Marty. A little on the wild side, but I got them settled down by reading them my favorite book during toddlerhood: Atlas Shrugged.

    I doubt it had any effect on my youthful wards, though.

    They were out like lights!
  5. jim thornton's Avatar
    PS I have just added a word of thanks to Mr. John Kuzmkowski, who is largely responsible for the filming and photographs!
  6. rxleakem's Avatar

    Hang in there, Mr. T. Congrats!
  7. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by RustyScupperton
    Brud, you are now the King of 2 domains, one physical (#1 in swimming) and one intellectual (#1 in journalism). Which makes me think that thyou are ina very very microscopically small Venn Diagram overlap of these 2 elite classes of humanity, great athletes and great writers. And I would further submit that you are such an incredibly nice guy, that you may be number 1 in the country in likeability! Putting youas perhaps the best person this country, or any country, has ever known or will ever know! All hail Jm Thornton, literally the best person who has ever lived!!!!!!!
    You make me sound like an All Worldian here, Johnny boy!

    But of course you are the Good Twin, which makes you an All Known Universarian!

    It seems like only yesterday that I needed to bolster my saggy-breasted ego with swimming soubriquets largely of my own invention!

    I refer, of course, to Zonesman: i.e., a swimmer who has managed to set a No. 1 record time in an age-group event in the Colony Zones region, regardless of whether that time is ultimately bested!

    I thought perhaps that would have been my highest swimming achievement, with the following words inscribed on the urn in which the dust-to-dust remains of me might one day be cradled:

    Goes a Zonesman!

    But now, barring a blind-side tackle during my victory dance here on the one yard line, posterity shall simply note:

    He was, for an all too brief moment, an All American on an off year!
  8. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by rxleakem

    Hang in there, Mr. T. Congrats!
    Why thank you ever so kindly! The great white kitten picture is increasingly not all that far off from my nether regions when spied via a horrified squint!

    There, as in your picture, we are desperately trying to hold on.
  9. kuztoo's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jim thornton
    It appears to be the prototype of Jellies! This picture dates back to 1954 or 1955. I had to dress up because I was about to do my first baby sitting job--for this Polish family out in Greensburg who couldn't afford a teenaged babysitter.

    I had fun. Seems like the kids' names were John and Marty. A little on the wild side, but I got them settled down by reading them my favorite book during toddlerhood: Atlas Shrugged.

    I doubt it had any effect on my youthful wards, though.

    They were out like lights!
    you were a fashionista way back in 1954... I would have stabbed you with a fork, made you carry my tray, then kicked your ass for wearing those! You should have done the same to your mom and dad for making you wear them! Those are you sisters shoes!
    Ps, Ayn was chased out of eastern Europe by my family, they told her to go to America and start trouble there!
  10. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    finally number one...congratulations...good day to die...
  11. Colleen Marais's Avatar
    Congrats that is an awesome accomplishment :-) very exciting. sky is the limit.
  12. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt Dickson
    finally number one...congratulations...good day to die...
    Thank good i wasn't drinking milk when i read this, Dr. D, because my nostrils would have been irrigated.

    your comedy is brilliant because it's so true!
  13. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Colleen Marais
    Congrats that is an awesome accomplishment :-) very exciting. sky is the limit.
    Thanks, Colleen! Never say die! Mediocrity unchanged plus time = < changed definition of mediocrity (in the presence of some alcoholic catalysts)!
  14. rodent's Avatar
    Good job! I think you also may finish first in the 200M freestyle, SCM, Men 60-64!
  15. jim thornton's Avatar
    Thanks, Jack, but the incredible Jim McConica beat my time by almost two seconds leading off an 800 relay.

    1 Mc Conica, Jim 62 2:15.56 VCM 2012 Southern Pacific Masters Swimming Long Course Championships
    2 Thornton, James 60 2:17.53 1776 Spire Masters 2012
    3 Walker, Rick B 62 2:20.56 SYSM 2012 U.S. Masters Swimming Summer National Championship

    Jim M. deserves the No. 1 spot. His two splits in the 400 were the 3rd and 4th fastest 200s in our age group last summer:

    Leg Cumulative Subtractive
    1 33.49 33.49
    2 1:08.86 35.37
    3 1:44.95 36.09
    4 2:20.58 35.63
    5 2:56.15 35.57
    6 3:31.27 35.12
    7 4:05.93 34.66
    8 4:40.00 34.07 (Second 200 was 2:19.42, without the benefit of a dive!)


    Talent does what it can, genius does what it must!
    Robert Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Earl of Lytton
  16. magick17's Avatar
    Aww Jim that's FAST!
    Congrats..the CV(sewickley) swim moms and me where hoping for ya! I'll tell them the good news!
    We're all cheering for you honey boo boo childman!

    Yeah JIM!
  17. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by magick17
    Aww Jim that's FAST!
    Congrats..the CV(sewickley) swim moms and me where hoping for ya! I'll tell them the good news!
    We're all cheering for you honey boo boo childman!

    Yeah JIM!
    Thanks so much! Who are these swim moms of which you speak of cheering?