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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Vlog Aggregator for byJimThornton.com!!!!

Rating: 4 votes, 5.00 average.
Great news, everyone! And just in time for the free gift-giving season!

My USMS swimming vlog, the No. 1 Internet source of news about Jim Thornton's somewhat-related-to-swimming stream-of-consciousness ramblings, is now going to serve a second and arguably even more important raison d'etre:

Driving traffic to my neonatal blog, http://byjimthornton.com/


The Vlog will, in other words, now serve as a "news aggregator" for the blog, and vice versa. I would explain what this means if I understood it myself, but I don't have a clue. In fact, I am just throwing around words like "news aggregator" in the hopes that they might apply to what I am doing. In any event, whatever it is I am attempting here, I am pretty sure it will work in some capacity or other, without causing the global Internet to crash under the sheet massiveness of my daily drivel.

Emphasis on the pretty.

In any event, my new blog, http://byjimthornton.com/, not to be confused with this current vlog, http://forums.usms.org/blog.php?u=26, will feature some unbelievably enchanting unique content including:

* Actual .pdf's of some of my magazine articles written over the years. These, unlike most of my vlogs 'n blogs, have actually useful information in them! You can learn, for instance, how to shorten the pain of heartbreak, determine your zygosity if you are a twin, and subscribe via RSS feed technology to http://byjimthornton.com/. And so many more useful things, too!


Visitors to http://byjimthornton.com/ will be able to effortless click to view and/or save for your permanent electronic library charming and frequently award-winning articles such as the above (which won the 1992 Gold Medal Award for Best Article of the Year, The Council for Advancement and Support of Education (CASE)!


* Actual cartoon novellas drawn and written by me both now in my senescence and during my juvenilia days--watch a mind develop and decay all at a single one-stop site!


A snippet from the entirely viewable online and/or downloadable for permanent library inclusion of the ongoing cartoon autobiography: Jim! Up Through Screamer.


* The Thornton Twins Podcast, not yet up, but which should be up very soon--perfect for downloading to your smartphone and playing either late at night when you need a cure for insomnia, or behind the wheel when you need to stave off grogginess and evade vehicular misadventure!


Women of a certain vintage who have long fantasized about a dalliance with twins are free to stoke said fantasies while listening to the Thornton twins discuss the leading issues of the day in their deeply resonant male voices that only occasionally squeak!

Go ahead! We do not mind being fodder for your fantasies, though if you have ever been diagnosed with erotomania (ero·to·ma·nia/ (-maŽne-ah) 1. a type of delusional disorder in which the subject harbors a delusion that a particular person is deeply in love with them; lack of response is rationalized, and pursuit and harassment may occur), please know that John and I are not what we appear to be in this handsome picture from our younger days, but rather are constipated old cranks riddled with disgusting personal habits and you would be much better off fixating on these twins instead:


Okay. I know what you're thinking. "Jim, you had me at 'Great news!' What do I need to do to make it incredibly simple to follow your new blog, http://byjimthornton.com/, on the Internet? To be honest, I am not that technologically savvy."

First of all, don't be ashamed! I, too, am not that technologically savvy. And figuring out how to make things as easy and enjoyable as humanly possible for anybody on earth to find and follow me remains an ongoing challenge.

But here is what I recommend for now, at least:

1. Check out this blog entry first, http://byjimthornton.com/2012/11/29/...ckerberg-weep/, which will explain how to use RSS feed technology to automatically funnel any new entries into your "reader"--and I even provide links to some good, free readers for those of you who, like me, don't know what "readers" are. Note: there remain some bugs in the system, so please be patient with the RSS feeding/reader thing! Eventually, it will all go swimmingly.

2. Click on this link next for an easy-to-scroll compendium of the blogs so far posted http://byjimthornton.com/all-posts/ so that you can read each one at your leisure, clicking away with abandon at all the little buttons at the bottom of each entry (share with Facebook, Twitter, G+, email, and the like.)

Thanks ever so much, my friends! In the month or so I have been working on http://byjimthornton.com/, I have already managed to "earn" $6.50 in eye ball views, assuming some of these aren't later deemed fraudulent! Once the new blog accumulates $100 worth of non-fraudulent eyeball view-based revenue, which I estimate will occur sometime in the third quarter of 2017, I shall cut a check to my Chief Technology Officer, Liam White, for 10 percent of the amount, and use the remainder to buy premium catfood for a much deserved family celebration!

And you will all be invited!

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Comments

  1. Water Rat's Avatar
    Jim, do I have to click on the RSS thingy to become a valid eyeball? I don't know what that is and it scares me.
  2. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Water Rat
    Jim, do I have to click on the RSS thingy to become a valid eyeball? I don't know what that is and it scares me.
    No, you don't! But if you click on the RSS thing, it will give you the opportunity to periodically check your "reader" for any new updates, thus obviating the need for you to check all the time for new content from me!

    By the way, just in the time it has taken me to post this vlog, I have also posted new content in the blog!

    I invite you to check out this newest entry right now! It's very short!

    http://byjimthornton.com/2012/11/30/solipsism/

    PS I am in horrible shape physically but am swimming the SEWY meet anyhow, but greatly fear the Great Unraveling has begun to hit my swimming. You still up for a possible pilgrimage to Hudson next week? If you don't go, I might just pop up for one day unless my performance at SEWY, as I fear, will make it ridiculous to even try swimming SCM.
  3. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    I should know all about "readers" etc. but also don't. Perhaps you could use your reportorial genius to interview Liam and let us all know about the mysterious world of rss feeds. For instance, Who is rss? What kind of food does he eat?
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by RustyScupperton
    I should know all about "readers" etc. but also don't. Perhaps you could use your reportorial genius to interview Liam and let us all know about the mysterious world of rss feeds. For instance, Who is rss? What kind of food does he eat?
    I will do my best to get to the bottom of this question, Rusty! Unfortunately, my strategy of creating an infinite Internet loop, wherein readers of my vlog click on links to my blog, only to find links to my vlog, and so forth, has failed thus far to achieve the critical mass necessary to generate the revenue I need to buy catfood in 2017.

    The estimate date of the catfood feast has thus had to be postponed by another few years.

    I will keep you posted.

    In the meantime, see if you can help me get a new slogan established for my enterprises. With apologies to Timex,

    Jim's vlog/blog takes a lickin', but he hopes folks will keep on clickin'.

    Or at least start clickin' one day.

    One great and glorious futuristic day, when all god's children can afford Fancy Feast by the sweat of their bleeding blogging fingertips.
  5. Sojerz's Avatar
    In the meantime, see if you can help me get a new slogan established for my enterprises. With apologies to Timex,
    It is an ancient Mariner, And he stoppeth one of three. "By thy long grey beard and glittering eye, Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?
    He holds him with his skinny hand, "There was a ship," quoth he. `Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!... He holds him with his glittering eye…The Mariner hath his will.
    Jim, borrow this and you will only need to apologize to Coleridge, and he's dead.

    FYI - UMPG publishing and EMI are apparently blocking your Leslie video - try clicking on it and you'll see - wondering if they may soon be at your door with warrants
  6. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sojerz
    It is an ancient Mariner, And he stoppeth one of three. "By thy long grey beard and glittering eye, Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?
    He holds him with his skinny hand, "There was a ship," quoth he. `Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!... He holds him with his glittering eye…The Mariner hath his will.
    Jim, borrow this and you will only need to apologize to Coleridge, and he's dead.

    FYI - UMPG publishing and EMI are apparently blocking your Leslie video - try clicking on it and you'll see - wondering if they may soon be at your door with warrants
    When my brother first made the Leslie movie, he added a song by the Beach Boys, and evidently Warner et al have subsequently installed creeper software to try to ferret out any unauthorized use of copyrighted songs. Some songs are fine, but they slap an ad on your video. Evidently, the Beach Boys material is owned by a stingier conglomerate.

    Maybe at some point, John can re-edit with the two of us singing the song a capella. No creeper software in the universe will recognize this as actual music!

    By the way, did you click on the new blog and if so, did you have any trouble registering? Lots of people (well, maybe not lots) have said that something is screwy in the technology infrastructure of http://byjimthornton.com/ and sadly my IT manager is currently grounded by his parents for having only a 89.5 in English class.
  7. Sojerz's Avatar
    yep, checked it out, but didn't try to figure out how to sign up for the RSS feed yet - will let you know if it works or not. Noticed in your "about" section quite a bit of similarity in our HS and college swimming experience. [Would have classified myself as a good (but long way from great) HS swimmer and just managed (probably the last one kept) to make the Varsity my sophmore year (stupidly quit one year latter after only getting to swim one 1650 against Central MI as a soph and otherwise warming the bench). NDs swim team wasn't then and is not now MI -- you probably would have made it through if you were about 100 miles further south.]
  8. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sojerz
    yep, checked it out, but didn't try to figure out how to sign up for the RSS feed yet - will let you know if it works or not. Noticed in your "about" section quite a bit of similarity in our HS and college swimming experience. [Would have classified myself as a good (but long way from great) HS swimmer and just managed (probably the last one kept) to make the Varsity my sophmore year (stupidly quit one year latter after only getting to swim one 1650 against Central MI as a soph and otherwise warming the bench). NDs swim team wasn't then and is not now MI -- you probably would have made it through if you were about 100 miles further south.]
    I don't know. I was pretty sick of swimming at that point. It wasn't a lot of fun to be at the bottom of the barrel. There was one top swimmer on our team, Larry Day, who was an exceptionally nice guy. But some of the others were a bit hard to stomach, one fellow in particular.
  9. Sojerz's Avatar
    I was pretty sick of swimming at that point.
    Me too and one of the reasons i let it go. It was a great group of guys though and will forever regret not sticking with it. In 1969 there was so much other sh#t going down it seemed like time to move on and save the world. Glad you stuck with it since then and maybe about the time you're blog earns the cat food, ill be swimming fast again. one can hope.
  10. jim thornton's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sojerz
    Me too and one of the reasons i let it go. It was a great group of guys though and will forever regret not sticking with it. In 1969 there was so much other sh#t going down it seemed like time to move on and save the world. Glad you stuck with it since then and maybe about the time you're blog earns the cat food, ill be swimming fast again. one can hope.
    You shall get there! Have you noted improvement in the time since you've been back? A balance of distance, middle distance, stroke, and sprint workouts seems to be the key. And you do have to try hard in practice, something I still do, though to noticeably slower results.