Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

"Is one of the symptoms of swine flu a rash on the cylindrical base of the, well, I don't want to get this vlog thrown off, but is it?" thought James Thornton, several days after the Zones meet was over, and he was starting to wonder if his lack of an active immune system might actually save him from the latest colonization.

He coughed, felt his lungs ache, shook his head, felt ashamed he'd missed practice, wondered how technology could possibly hope to keep pace with his sicknesses and workout slothfulness.

He tried to swallow. It hurt too much. He brought the coagulated substance back up, then tried to avoid thinking about the cylinder and its inflamed base....

Having now provided my vlogging viewers with an overwhelming reason to change the mental visuals now dancing in their heads, I shall post some much more wholesome imagery.

First, a still photograph of a swimmer who truly deserves all the credit for my swims, this swimmer being one Mr. William Sumerfield, Esquire. Yesterday's picture of BillS, which used Jimmy Stewart as a stand-in, was a mistake.

I should have used William Holden instead:



Note: I have cropped the picture to spare Bill the embarrassment of showing what his friend's hand was doing at precisely this moment.

Next, I will present four short films taken from the Colonies Zones meet. None of these show actual swimming, so please do not be disappointed. I understand your feelings. During my Golden Boy youth, I was once jogging when several highly attractive tartlets beckoned to me to stop and chat them up.

"I'm sorry, girls!" I said. "I'd love to stop but I can't--I am just too magnificent in motion!"

I add this not our of conceit nor any other self-aggradizing motive. I am not immune to the aesthetic artfulness of my bodily movements; I feel your desire to see this, for I desire to see it myself, perhaps almost as intensely as you do.

Take heart: There will be, in a few days or so, almost 5 minutes and just under 25 full seconds of me swimming the 500 to be posted soon!

But for now, the preliminary footage.

The first two are both from Friday, April 24th, after I have warmed up for the first time in the B70. I didn't have any competitive events this day, just let myself get used to the suit a bit.

The second two are from the morning of Saturday, April 25th, as Leslie "the Fortess" Livingston, blissfully unaware that she was driving me (illegally, as you shall see) to her own first national record, well, it is just a delicious irony to see Leslie in the very final charmed moments of her life before she transmogrified from amateur celebrity to professional celebrity, with all the attendant paparazzi style pains the latter are known to foist upon the truly great.

Thank god I am headed for no such fate myself!

Film 1: The Grand Sweep of the GMU Natatorium

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGPLw8_-JoY"]YouTube - Friday: A 2008 Zonesman Previews the 2009[/ame]

Film 2: Interview with David Bright on the B70's legality and predictions for my events

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWhTkgm3xVU"]YouTube - David Bright: On a Swimming Costume's Leg[/ame]

Film 3: Driving to GMU with the Great One and learning how to mix and max pills and inhalants.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpUnrfwmrN4"]YouTube - Saturday Morning: Driving with Miss Fortr[/ame]

Film 4: Convincing the Great One to Break the Law

(Note: I may need to repost this one of Leslie breaking the traffic regulations under my relentless urging. It appears there has been an error, but try playing it anyhow.)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8x328Ea56E"]YouTube - Saturday: First Illegality as the Drive C[/ame]

More soon, but for now, I must take my swine-fluish hulk to the sick bed and/or sick sty.