Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Well, if nothing else it seemed that Megan and Stephanie were extremely accommodating to the creepiness. Having said that I think we may need a 'body language expert' here to give a more detailed analysis.

I, for one, find it VERY difficult to distinguish between a shudder of lust and one of revulsion.

Two sides of the same coin perchance?

Ditto for little gagging noises.

Well Jimby, no one can say that you didn't try your very hardest. There should be some type of pride you can take from that.
Hopefully your "refractory period" will frazzle before your next encounter with another lovely "novelty stimulas female."
I think if you talk LESS and MOVE faster the ultimate "hymenopterans" plunge could occur seamlessly!

I think Bill still has my room key card too, but I'd like to clarify that I was not harvested either!

Except for the momentary creepy look, Stephanie adapted to your, er, uniqueness very well. Innocent Megan looked a bit more taken aback.

What happens to your refractory period during your frequent bouts of hypochondriachal swine flu lite?

Jimby, you're not a singer

Leslie, I understand and will let the entire world know that you were not harvested by bill.

Mermaid, the singing problem is not mine. I made the mistake of using that technology that automatically adjusts the tone and pitch of my voice.

Evidently, the software had never encountered quite such a perfect tenor before (I was the 4th member of the 3 Tenors), and it seems to have gotten flummoxed and made me sound horrible.

Permit me sometime to sing for you in private.

I can only imagine that the harvesting of a fortress would be a rare and spectacular event and much like the bloom of a titan arum it would be treasured by its audience. Alas, this flesh fly has no such key!

After some initial reticence to discuss the last forbidden taboo subject in USMS, misgeneration, I am happy to see the flood gates of discourse are robustly opened.

Have you, too, been victimized in the past by Society's views on misgeneration? Oh, occasionally the topic hits the news--Anna Nicole and her robustly alive octagenerian corpse-husband, for instance.

If you have something to get off your chest, and furthermore if you are the younger female member(s) of a misgenerational couple(ing)s, this vlog is your first step towards healing.

I wait to hear from you, Stephanie, Megan, Dixie, Lola, Ursula, Madison, Trixie, Gertie, and the whole modern day assortment of trendy named vixens born after the Clinton administration!

Do not let your bad experiences fester like an unopened titan arum! Let your meat flower blossom in all its glory!

P.S. Thanks, Bobinator. Your advice on making the hymenopteran plunge is fantastic. Imagine me right now making a little zipping motion across my fast flapping lips.

Indeed, this may actually prove to be doubly beneficial. If you can't talk, you can't sing either, which appears to be another one of my downfalls.

Bravo Jim, Bravo! I might mention that Hymenopterans are the land based flying stingers, where us water based aqua-homosapiens are concerned, the Dasyatidae can also sting, however most would not metaphorically associate the nasty barbed attack to the lower leg as a love bite....

Hmm. It does seem to me that there were a bunch of things that kind of looked like this struggling to go on the attack...millions of them, actually. I didn't realize they were Dasyatidae.

Jim, you meant eager and willing right? I don't think struggling is the correct description.

Yeah, you're probably right. They are definitely eager, willing, and hopeful. But it is proving to be an overwhelming struggle for them to find a safe harbor and/or landing strip upon which to disembark on their journey to secure the precious.

Secure? You mean deposit their precious 'venom/cargo' as this is their main purpose. Also, exterior landscaping usually plays no role in the rendition. It may possibly play a role in inciting the delivery process but I doubt it.

When women say we are immature, Bill, even though they are chronologically decades younger than us, I always think it comes down to the ventriloquists calling the real shots.

A comely chick like Stephanie may seem much younger, at 23, than me, on the cusp of 57. But her eggs are relatively ancient, having been around for almost 24 years, biding their time, but growing older by the day.

My little swimmers, on the other hand, were hatched from Sertoli cells at most a couple weeks ago, and have been maturing in the nursery school of my epidydimis, where presumably they are practicing finger painting even as I write these words.

The May December romance is correct, only it's we old guys who are the May, and the "young" davatchkas who are, in point of fact, the Decembrists!

Jim have you tried that line of reasoning on young Stephanie? Did it work? And I think you might have fat fingered the keyboard while typing your age???

I need to get the May-December romance thing right next time. My last one was December-May.

Floyd, Stephanie studies insects professionally, so I am certain that none of my arguments would come as any form of surprise to her. I do think that I might have some success by sending her my cartoon novella, The Use of Sexual Attractants in the Extermination of Insects, but I have to find that particular and charming bit of my juvenilia first.