Lost in Idaho
by, September 18th, 2009 at 04:32 PM (2046 Views)
Today's vlog, perhaps more than some of my other recent ones, demands more of the viewer than usual. The reason: unlike Ocean City Selkie, which was leavened by my twin brother John's wonderful film making skills, or Crazy Little Thing in Indianapolis, which features no shortage of everybody's favorite human beverage dispensers in their most comely forms, today's film Lost in Idaho features neither cutting edge filming techniques nor the promise of vixens potentially going wild off camera with the likes of me. Which, of course, would only make it not only possible but likely they could be cajoled into going similarly wild with the likes of you.
Instead, today's film is devoted entirely to me preparing for my next magazine article, this one for Backpacker http://www.backpacker.com/ , a truly wonderful publication that, like me, has been nominated for multiple National Magazine Awards http://www.magazine.org/asme/magazine_awards/ , but unlike me, has actually won more than one of these things.
My last article for Backpacker involved me spending a dank and sweltering summer in a hypoxic tent to simulate sleeping at an elevation of 11,000-12,000 feet, followed by an autumnal trip to Mt. Elbert, 2nd hightest peak in the continental US, and climb it. Anyone even slightly interested in reading my lowlander's account of this is invited to drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send you the story in .pdf form for your vicarious amusement and education about HACE, HAPE, and HAFE (high altitude cerebral edema, high altitude pulmonary edema, and high altitude flatulence expulsion, respectively.)
Jim summits Mt. Elbert. Note: Photo is not to scale.
Making today's film even more challenging that its sheer length (Flip video cameras come with a little editing program that doesn't make it easy to trim out much detritus, I must say)....
... is the fact that it is told entirely in the plodding voice of me, Jim Thornton, who was described by both A) my University of Michigan academic counselor, and B) my Indian guide in the Amazon jungle in the same terms.
I found out about A) when a Freedom of Information Act dossier arrived at my door and I was able to read my counselor's heretofore confidential "recommendation" for me. This began, "You may be quick to dismiss Jim when you first talk to him, concluding he is retarded. He is actually rather bright but suffers from a severe speech impediment..."
I found out about B) when I heard Javier tell his brother Stalin something in Spanish, and when I demanded Stalin translate it, he said, sheepishly, "My brother say you talk like slow child."
Anyhow, please bear with this, and I offer you a money back guarantee that you will find the logistical preparations of a world class professional paid adventurer like Mathiesson or me to be quite eye-opening.
Let me check now to see if YouTube is finished processing this nine-minute extravaganza, at which point I will let my spoken words speak for themselves....
No, still processing. Soon, very soon, we can all enjoy.
Hum dee dum dee dum. Let me see. Hmmm....
I know, let me say a word about swimming.
On Wednesday, I did the most butterfly by far in a single practice than I have done in probably 5-7 years: a total of 700 yards worth. I am thinking that since I know what my times for freestyle are in the speed suits, and since the speed suits are looking to go away, I will use this year to reinvent myself as a butterflier. My times here have always been pathetic, so I won't know the difference.
I hope this makes sense. But if it doesn't, don't worry. You have nine more minutes of enjoyable sense, or possibly nonsense, to go!
And on this note, I presentJim:
Lost in the Woods
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrkmPEqy1Rc"]YouTube - Jim: Lost in the Woods[/ame]