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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

57 Year Old Heads into Wolverine Country

Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
Alarm clock set for 6 a.m., I shall be making my rendezvous with destiny and wolverines sometime beginning Saturday afternoon in the middle of the Frank Church River of No Return Wildlife Area in Idaho.

Today was my 57th birthday, and I must say that 57 really does feel like the new 56, at least after a nap.

On Facebook, I received so many heartfelt Happy Birthday wishes that I was unable to answer them all with individualized vlogs, so I shall simply attempt to answer the ones that find their way here with this vlog.


You have taken the fear of death-by-wolverine out of my ruminations by showing me just how grand would be the Jimby funeral in the case that the little creatures of the like pictured below decide to mince me up as some kind of pablum for their screeching kits.

Eat well, little kits!

And do not cry for this old multiply pierced by wolverine claws and teeth version of Argentina! I have had as good a run as a person like me can reasonable expect to have.

And if I do perish in the great woods, do not give up all hope that my spirit, and quite likely DNA, will be extinguished. Thanks to global warming, the Pizzly Bear is a fully recognized mutant that now roams the melting ice fields of norther Idaho, the only one of its kind, tragic really, but nevertheless the kind of compelling image that must set the hearts of teenage girls and their milfish moms aflutter with hope the ursine incubus might come a' roamin' some night for unattended garbage!

Who knows how many Jimzies might similarly roam the desolate open spaces of the wilderness, how many Jimverines and even Jimcupines and the odd Jameskunk.

So, enjoy my funeral in the reasonably likely event this is in the offing. And if it is not, I will be back a' vloggin' sometime in early October.

Until then, if you need to contact me for any reason or about any topic, please do so via the comment section below.

Leslie, I am catching up. Slowly. Surely. Inexorably.

And if I perish in the wilderness, let this become the new Wailing Wall where all humanity itself is mourned with poesy and inappropriate jocularity!

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  1. billwhite's Avatar
    And if you don't show up a week from now and some years in the future we hear of sightings of a wild man in the woods, albeit not a frightening creature that tears off people's limbs and eats their hearts out akin to Oreius and Agrius but rather a kindly gentle beast, we will know that our Jimby lives on! The former selkie morphed into a Yeti and as such another magical creature indeed!
    Updated September 24th, 2009 at 10:36 PM by billwhite
  2. jim thornton's Avatar
    Thanks, Bill. It will either be me of Scuzzlebutt.
  3. Bobinator's Avatar
    Hey jimby, take it easy on the wolverines, linx's, and bears. I'm sure they have never dealt with the likes of a Selkie/Jimby/Vlogger! Good Luck!
  4. pwb's Avatar
    Go forth and conquer. Smoke signal if you need help or find a friendly collie or carrier pigeon to get your message out. Better yet, swallow a satellite enabled iPhone in a bileproof pouch before you're dropped and in a few painful days you'll be re-vlogging from the backwoods.
  5. aztimm's Avatar
    For some reason, from your blog title, I just assumed you were going to Ann Arbor...
  6. poolraat's Avatar
    Jim, should you perish in the wilds of Idaho I will mourn your loss. Then I will immediately lay claim to and take up residence in one the compounds that you formerly claimed as your own.
    And should the lovely Stephanie need to be consoled......
  7. billwhite's Avatar
    You are the best kind of friend Floyd! Stephanie surely will be comforted knowing she will be well provided for. I believe Jim will appreciate this magnanimous gesture on your part. If needed I will do my best to take over the Mr. Magoo style scooter riding around Sewickley.
  8. SwimmerGirlKT's Avatar
    The day seems duller without him...
  9. poolraat's Avatar
    Jimby withdrawal already, KT?
    Updated September 25th, 2009 at 06:11 PM by poolraat
  10. EricOrca's Avatar
    Have fun frolicking in the wood's with the weasels!
  11. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    My advice to my brother was to immediately set up his tent, crawl into his sleeping bag and patiently wait five days for help.
    Let us all collectively wish Jim well in the land of the Grizzly bear, jogger-eating mountain lion, occasional angry and intoxicated Pied Noir warrior, and survivalist breakaway Mormon skinhead.
  12. billwhite's Avatar
    With a tent, and all kinds of fun electronic toys, all he is missing is internet access to make it a vacation of sorts. Well that and some coeds....