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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Savant Idiot

Rating: 4 votes, 4.00 average.
I played tennis again tonight, possibly a mistake, but it was in the 70s, and a balmy southern breeze under conditions of squinting could just possibly be mistaken for a summer wind, so I played.

Terribly. Mistake after error-riddled mishitting -- that word doesn't look right, perhaps it needs a hyphen: mis-hitting.

At one point I wondered if it is possible that I might just be one of those very rare individuals known as a savant idiot.

The more common idiot savant is, of course, a person tremendously gifted in one very specific skill: some weird math ability, for instance, or musical genius, or the ability to sculpt exact replicas of X or Y--but other than this one specific spot of genius, is sort of thick in all other avenues in life.

Could I be, I wondered, after flubbing yet another easy backhand into the net, or "lobbing" a wounded duck of a Penn 3 into the oversized sweet spot of my adversary's smashing Babelot--could I, might I, is it possible, even remotely, that the one known as Jimby might be a savant idiot:

A genius in every aspect of life except one, that being tennis, and in this area, I am profoundly retarded?

I was musing on my possible savant idiocy diagnosis when other areas of profound retardation began emerging: for example, not knowing how to stop talking about my lesion in polite company. This is probably a case of social retardation, but nuances aside, it did make me realize that tennis is not my only area of disabling dunderheadedness.

In fact, there appear to be many, not the least of which is the ability to remember the others.

So, I probably am not a Savant Idiot after all, at least in the true sense.


Our local paper wrote me up in an article today, which I found out by accident. The writer had emailed me some questions, which I filled out, and I thought she said she would call for a followup interview, but she didn't. Then when I was picking up a submarine sandwich for dinner tonight, the submarine sandwich vendor said, "You are Thornton, aren't you? I was reading about you in the Sewickley Herald."

You too can read about me in the Sewickley Herald. Interestingly, this is only Part 1. I may have mentioned during the email "interview" that I had developed a lesion following my return from Idaho.

I wonder if Part 2., which is scheduled to run next week, will focus on this aspect of my life.

Here is the link:

Interestingly, three weeks earlier, the Sewickley Herald ran a different story on the Bed & Breakfast my wife and I (well, almost entirely my wife) restored. If you are ever likely to be in these here parts and want a nice place to stay that doesn't smell like a chain motel, you might want to check this out, too:


One thing you don't need to worry about is contracting my lesion.

It really does not seem to be getting better, nor worse.

I made an appointment for tomorrow. It may be time to remove my groin. Drastic, maybe even draconian. But sometimes you have to kill the patient to save him.

Little Jimby, it was nice being your traveling companion thru life, but it's time we parted ways.

The entire retrospective horrorshow for your continuing dietary efficacy:






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  1. Bobinator's Avatar
    Cool articles!
    Jimby you are a jack-of-all-trades!
    The Economy Inn looks amazing!
    Do you folks in PA ever relax?
  2. SwimmerGirlKT's Avatar
    Another parallel life moment....I used to own a B&B in Concord, MA! Some day we'll have to compare stories...your estate sounds very special!
  3. Water Rat's Avatar
    I was reading through the Herald this morning and stumbled across your picture. Twice in two months. This proves it. You are definitely the most famous person living in Sewickley (next to Mario Lemieux and Lynn Swann. Do you get invited to their lavish estates for fundraisers, etc?)
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Mark, what a superb idea!

    The Mario Lemieux/Lynn Swann ProAm Beer Pong Tournament to Raise Awareness of Lesions!

    I will call Natalie Lemieux and the two of us can get started with some preliminary lesion work.

    Do you have her number?
  5. rodent's Avatar
    When the culture comes back they should know what it is for sure and be able to treat it successfully. With no fever it is probably still localized and is not getting worse.
    Possible vampire bat bite? When you look in the mirror do you see your reflection?
  6. jim thornton's Avatar
    I see the reflection of a dessicated husk staring back, hollow-eyed and sexless, with what appears to be a gunshot wound to the head.

    Then I realize that I am seeing the wolverine skull I brought back from the wilderness and adjust my gaze slightly.

    There, as always, I see an unbelievably handsome chunk of chiseled and gristled man flesh. Is my twin brother home for a surprise visit?