by, October 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 PM (1425 Views)
I played tennis again tonight, possibly a mistake, but it was in the 70s, and a balmy southern breeze under conditions of squinting could just possibly be mistaken for a summer wind, so I played.
Terribly. Mistake after error-riddled mishitting -- that word doesn't look right, perhaps it needs a hyphen: mis-hitting.
At one point I wondered if it is possible that I might just be one of those very rare individuals known as a savant idiot.
The more common idiot savant is, of course, a person tremendously gifted in one very specific skill: some weird math ability, for instance, or musical genius, or the ability to sculpt exact replicas of X or Y--but other than this one specific spot of genius, is sort of thick in all other avenues in life.
Could I be, I wondered, after flubbing yet another easy backhand into the net, or "lobbing" a wounded duck of a Penn 3 into the oversized sweet spot of my adversary's smashing Babelot--could I, might I, is it possible, even remotely, that the one known as Jimby might be a savant idiot:
A genius in every aspect of life except one, that being tennis, and in this area, I am profoundly retarded?
I was musing on my possible savant idiocy diagnosis when other areas of profound retardation began emerging: for example, not knowing how to stop talking about my lesion in polite company. This is probably a case of social retardation, but nuances aside, it did make me realize that tennis is not my only area of disabling dunderheadedness.
In fact, there appear to be many, not the least of which is the ability to remember the others.
So, I probably am not a Savant Idiot after all, at least in the true sense.
Our local paper wrote me up in an article today, which I found out by accident. The writer had emailed me some questions, which I filled out, and I thought she said she would call for a followup interview, but she didn't. Then when I was picking up a submarine sandwich for dinner tonight, the submarine sandwich vendor said, "You are Thornton, aren't you? I was reading about you in the Sewickley Herald."
You too can read about me in the Sewickley Herald. Interestingly, this is only Part 1. I may have mentioned during the email "interview" that I had developed a lesion following my return from Idaho.
I wonder if Part 2., which is scheduled to run next week, will focus on this aspect of my life.
Here is the link: http://www.yoursewickley.com/sewickl...-wild-part-one
Interestingly, three weeks earlier, the Sewickley Herald ran a different story on the Bed & Breakfast my wife and I (well, almost entirely my wife) restored. If you are ever likely to be in these here parts and want a nice place to stay that doesn't smell like a chain motel, you might want to check this out, too:
One thing you don't need to worry about is contracting my lesion.
It really does not seem to be getting better, nor worse.
I made an appointment for tomorrow. It may be time to remove my groin. Drastic, maybe even draconian. But sometimes you have to kill the patient to save him.
Little Jimby, it was nice being your traveling companion thru life, but it's time we parted ways.
The entire retrospective horrorshow for your continuing dietary efficacy: