Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Jimby,

I know of an experimental procedure that involves a sharpened ice cream scoop in a darkened back alley. Are you interested in the research doctors number, or do you want to wait on this skin girl to get back to you?

I believe this guy is released, I mean, available next Thursday. He works late at night, so it won't interrupt your normally tight schedule.

Will god forgive my if I have it...scooped out?

Send number.

upon reflection, do you think you should have listened to me when I said, "I think it's a bad idea to take an open wound into the YMCA Pool (warm water et. al,) and YMCA Hot Tub (turbidity was milky white at best)". perhaps what started as a small skin irritation has turned into something far worse????

yes, upon reflection, I should have learned the lessons of the Mermaid!

Someone appears to have given me a 1* rating for this vlog. This terrible, when averaged against my 5* excellent, ends up providing a rating of 3* or "average".

Really?

I think back alley abortions and Sl are extremely unlikely ... Jimby, you are just not as wild as you would like us all to believe.

I'm glad you had a hot doc to fantasize about since it appears this occupies a great deal of your time . :-P Now, avoid ambien so your fantasies are not erased by amnesia.

Good advice, Leslie. As always, you remain il miglior fabbro of the swim blogging community.

The dermatologist was actually quite something, I must say. It's possible she experiments with her various cosmetic techniques on herself during the off hours. She looked 20 but may well have been old enough to be my grandmother.

It looks better than the last photo did.
I think you're on the mend.

Yep my stars brought it up to 4, a fair to middling rating. Kind of ok.

Thanks, Kangaroo that dips her feet!

Bobinator, I am hoping you are right. Perhaps one day, all this will turn out to have been a colossal exercise in hypochondriacal overkill.

But like Charles Darwin himself, confined to his home by hypochondria, I shall throw myself into my labors, and hope to accomplish something with what remains of my days!

"il miglior fabbro". So Mr. Thorton, are you the T.S. Eliot to the Fortress Ezra Pound (female phenotype, of course)?

Did Ezra have you in mind when he wrote "Meditatio"?

When I carefully consider the curious habits of dogs
I am compelled to conclude
That man is the superior animal.

When I consider the curious habits of man
I confess, my friend, I am puzzled.

I am puzzled, my friend. --mjm

mj - If you are comparing Jim's behavior to that of dogs you might have something there...He is a kindly type and most likable (and he probably would also gladly sniff and hump the leg of most willing young fertile bitches).

Jim - Think Bob Marley:
"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

Bill, my sniffing days are, alas, at an end. Nothing to do now but thankless toil and forge onwards to Ragnarok, where I hope to earn the right to be slaughtered in the afterlife but on the side of the good Gods, not the Frost Giants who are, of course, predestined to win.

But why am I belaboring the obvious, my good friend?

I shall think of Bob Marley who Bobinator pointed out died of melanoma that started under a toenail.

MJM: puzzlement and perplexity are our lot in life. Another great poet: Christopher Smart, referenced here in an earlier vlog--the end of his most famous poem:

For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements.

For, tho he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer.

For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any other quadruped.

For he can tread to all the measures upon the music.

For he can swim for life.

For he can creep.

It is noteworthy that the Latin for creep has been appropriated to name just one of the many viri I dread.

Jim, you're doc wasn't possibly Dr. Stephen was she? She's a good friend of my wife's. If so, then by the transitive property, Susan has swabbed your nether regions as well. Don't worry, I'm certain they won't laugh about it at book club tonight over too many glasses of wine and pita chips. Kristen NEVER talks about her patients unless they are truly exceptional.

Hahahahha!

I must admit that when I wrote this slightly fictionalized version of my doctor's appointment, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the beautiful blonde dermatologist sans merci might inadvertently stumble upon it.

There are a few inaccuracies.

For instance, I am not sure that my legion extract was actually put into a biohazzard bag with mailing label already affixed.

It's possible that the label would be affixed later.

This is the sort of thing with which I took artistic license, and I would be mortified if Dr. S actually read my vlog, became intrigued by me, and became some sort of erotomaniacal stalker.

Please, god, don't let the beautiful blonde dermatologist start erotically stalking me!

Could you specifically instruct your wife on this wish of mine?

Mark - you mean never talks about the patients unless the wine is exceptional? Perhaps Susan will have to splurge. And if so, before she meets up with the good Dr., get a little frisky with her and plant a bug so we can all hear the gossip.

I don't think planting a bug will work. As I understand it, Dr. S. is an expert at removing planted, or implanted, bugs.

At least I hope this is the case.

Am I a bad human being?

Maybe I should rephrase this.

How bad a human being am I?

Not bad at all. Good in fact. Quite good.

Mr. Scupperton, you are too kind. Too kind by a goodly amount.

Don't worry Jim, you're gonna be ok, "Only the good die young"!

Thanks, Jack.