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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Happy Thanksgiving One and All!

Rating: 4 votes, 5.00 average.
Like Frank Sinatra's conspicuous absence of singing in the shower, or a busman's decision not to drive on holiday, or perhaps a harlot's avoidance of intimacy during rare leisure moments when the urge for vertical body postures must become overwhelming in its intensity--so has it been with this vlogger of late: the dictates of writing for a living have all but overwhelmed any time or inclination to indulge in tip-tap-tip-tapping of keystrokes for free.

Even though I much prefer the latter, having not yet developed the "learned helplessness" that so frequently accompanies human endeavor in the paid environment.

Sing this ditty, Frank! Contort your buttocks into this appealing lordosis configuration, harlot! Never again in the history of the world again utter the word Stetari, lackey!

And so forth.

I am sure everybody understands, with the possible exception of those who spend their days teaching 2nd graders how to draw finger turkeys, what I mean.

On the other hand, it has been recently pointed out to me, by a person whose perspicacity is beyond dispute, that I have, of late, been inclined to a certain churlish sulkiness.

Oh, how I wish not to be thusly inclined, not even for a moment!

As one distantly former girlfriend once called me in apparent affection: Oh, Jim! My horrid little flower!

Horrid, yes. Flower, true enough. Little, again, check! Especially if little is being directed at my generosity of spirit and not my guttage.

But do not flowers, even little horrid ones, give back to the world a cheerfulness and color that brings only smiles to onlookers and ravenous pollinators, dusty with lemon-colored crumbs?

In this spirit, that is to say, my flower side, and less my little horrid sulky side, I offer the following Thanksgiving greetings to my fellow swimmers the world over in the hopes you will find within this offering a smile, a cheerfulness, and a color--orange, as luck would have it--that might have otherwise gone unnoticed in this busy, busy time of Thanksgiving!

It is a drawing by my step great nephew Cameron.

I am not sure the Dramatis Personnae in his description of his drawing is super important, but to keep things straight:


  • I am Uncle Steppy.
  • Aunt Lizie is the beloved little sister of me (Uncle Steppy) and my twin brother John (Steppy)
  • Granny, AKA, Nancy, is the biological grandmother of Cameron and wife of my brother John (Steppy)
  • Daddy is Cameron's father and Nancy's son Darrin by her first marriage

I am pretty sure that Cameron, after drawing the picture and getting John to scan it and email it to me, dictated verbatim his explanation for what is going on. I shall post this below the artwork.




Hi Uncle Steppy and Aunt Lizie. The one in the orange is Uncle Steppy. And he has a hole in his underwear. Everybody is sticking out his tongue at him. Granny (middle) pulled down Uncle Steppy's pants. Granny has a silly hat. Daddy has a rotten nose. The cloud and the sun is sticking their tongue out at Uncle Steppy. The clouds are wearing sunglasses because the sun is shining right at the clouds.
Love,
Cameron
PS Happy Thanksgiving!

Final note: in the original version of Cameron's email, my beloved brother John dropped the "Uncle" after its first reference. I think he did this to spare my feelings, to make it seem as if it were him and not me whose pants had been dropped down, earning him ridicule from every corner of the firmament. But it is quite clear upon whom such ridicule belongs, so I have restored it to the accurate state.

On this note, it is back to my labors on the drawbacks to novel hypnotics, irresistible as they continue to prove to be to the sulky likes of me.

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Comments

  1. The Fortress's Avatar
    I had a momentary sulk on the Parkway, but am now of better cheer, though not yet in full flower. I will see your sulky self sans pants shortly.
  2. qbrain's Avatar
    Happy Thanksgiving Jim.
  3. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    Yeah had a personal crisis in the middle of workout this morning but nobody noticed cos it was underwater.
    Happy f'n Thanksgiving Uncle Streppy!
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Thanks, one and all. It's Steppy, though, not Streppy, though I can easily see why both would appear to apply.

    Just got back from a swimming practice with the legendary Fortress, followed by a steam bath and Jacuzzi and some sage counsel from her to me on the the subject of me not assuming poses that make me look like a monkey.

    So I am trying to look more like Amanda's avatar, keeping my little front legs up in the air as opposed to tucked turkey like into my pecks an armpits.

    Happy thanksgiving to you, Mr. Q: very glad to see your top 10 swim! Excellent, indeed.

    Flower power to you all!
  5. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    I'm confused. Why are uncle stepppy's pants down?

    BTW: as of late I prefer my harlots to have more of a kyphotic pose...is that wrong?

    I miss drawing hand turkeys--probably the best job you can do with your hands--have a good day everyone.
    Updated November 26th, 2009 at 10:51 AM by Kurt Dickson
  6. jim thornton's Avatar
    Kyphosis (Greek - kyphos, a hump), also called hunchback, is a common condition of a curvature of the upper (thoracic) spine.

    Nothing human disgusts me or Tennessee Williams, Kurt! I say, hump away with abandon on your hunch-backed harlots--I feel certain they are grateful for your business AND your attention.

    Uncle Steppy's pants were down because Granny pulled them down, most likely so that the sun and clouds could see the hole therein and be amused.

    Nothing tawdry in that, I assure, my good doctor Duckson!

    Thanks for giving me yet another reason to be thankful this Thanksgiving: the gift of a new vocabulary word, kyphotic.

    Now if only I can commit it to memory...

    Kyphotic Quasimodo left lordotic Esmeralda for kyphotic harlots with whom he would watch bullfights and fantasize about massively kyphotic minotaurs granting him powers.
  7. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    For those of us who haven't gotten enough of the absolute adorableness of Uncle Steppy's extended family, please check out this very short video, and find out, "What humans have for Thanksgiving!"
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjuGHksgvvM"]YouTube- What Humans Have For Thanksgiving![/ame]
  8. jim thornton's Avatar
    This is, indeed, one of the best Thanksgiving films ever made, an instant classic that does for the consumption of yams and cherr.........y pie what the Grinch Who Stole Christmas does for heart enlargement.

    I.e., it makes it into a wonderfully good thing.

    Kudos to John Thornton, film maker extraordinaire, who may even have written the song, What Humans Have for Thanksgiving.
  9. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Breaking News!!!!!
    That song was actually called "What Turkeys Have for Thanksgiving!" and detailed the various millet and dried cornpone etc. that turkeys eat. But it turns out that the adorable performer, Jim's step great grand child Emma, had the idea and then wrote all the lyrics to "What Humans Have for Thanksgiving!". BTW, she is in the 4th grade. I am 57 and yet to have created anything so beautiful...
  10. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Breaking News!!!!!
    That song was actually called "What Turkeys Have for Thanksgiving!" and detailed the various millet and dried cornpone etc. that turkeys eat. But it turns out that the adorable performer, Jim's step great grand child Emma, had the idea and then wrote all the lyrics to "What Humans Have for Thanksgiving!". BTW, she is in the 4th grade. I am 57 and yet to have created anything so beautiful...
  11. RustyScupperton's Avatar