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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

The Pig who would be Pug and other Solstice Miracles

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.
This afternoon, I went into our kitchen to check on the three quadrapedes: lefty, the male pug; biscuit the little female pug; and linus, the guinea pig who is convinced he, too, is a pug, albeit one who prefers vegetative matter to hard to described meat byproducts.

The twelve legs were all in the kitchen. Left and Biscuit had dog pillows upon which to lay about when the mood for rest strikes then. sometimes, in a rare expression of drive, Lefty will sit in one dog bed and grab the other dog bed in his mouth, and shake it brusquely, as it attempting to snap its spinal cord. these pillows have sheeps hair and do look, like pracice murder scenes, must give them that much.

The ambien dance has begun, theletters swimnging bosa nova style, swayingagainst one anotherscurvesand indetations and convexities invaginating conccavite, and with squintimng the imeprssion is fmoredd.

so cure, this camily of mistamtched creasedtusethat iasste markign onwaerds tlike armu ants ofrlleadrfdctter ant.sll i ccnanan;t aaseee what thsi all abot now. the whole jump;ing ni==hmjjjjiiveing stufss. teh ''

the huger is raising p a a bit..

so whatis next cucmbers and gargazono with ambine andn dskldsalllk;fjjjajjjjjthekvikiking shiops with speekrs fread o float what is gereek for swine snowt'

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Comments

  1. Bobinator's Avatar
    Give the pugs (and guinea pug too) a carrot, then go to bed!
  2. jim thornton's Avatar
    good advice, but alas, i am not in the right frame of mind to take good advice. i am instead planning to fight off sleep till I reach the other side, where sleep deprivation temporarily relieves what ails me, and will continue to do so, with some reasonable efficacy, until i can no longer remain awake. then the disease reasserts itself and the cure must be tried anew.

    Ditto for the lack of appetite, which fosters shedding of unwanted pounds but, even more importantly, enhances the effect of the pharmaceuticals that even now are replacing, one lattice work at a time, everything that was once natural "Jim" with a synthetic facsimile made entirely out of costly drugs. In some ways, the process is no unlike the creation of petrified tree, which has become by its transmogrification all but invulnerable to any environmental insult whatsover, with the possible exception of a chisel.
  3. The Fortress's Avatar
    So you're in an ambien haze at 9:00 pm? You're are so weird (I recognize this is a very superficial superficial diagnosis). Take it 30 minutes before bedtime. You're not having daytime symptom are you?

    You and Tiger Woods may have more in common than you thought!
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Hi, Leslie. Actually, and I know this is no how these novel hypnotics are supposed to be taken, but this is how I take them:

    1. swallow with a swig of Nyquil. it helps to do this after a hard practice like tonight's 4100 yard extrvaganza in one hour. it also helps to do this on an empty stomach.

    2. fight off sleep till you are able to accomplish what the Doors sang in their anthem: Break on through to the other side

    3. when you reach the other side, groggy but relaxed for the first time all day, don't contact people on the Internet. This is where I get in trouble. Brothers interceding with vague threats about de-friendings and restraining orders and whatnot.

    I think I need to either find a better class of drugs, or try to make myself into a better class of drug addict. Somebody should write an etiquette manual for manners while in the Ambien haze. Perhaps I could be that writer.
  5. The Fortress's Avatar
    I don't understand the concept of "fighting off sleep." One should embrace sleep when it comes. As an ex-chronic-insomniac, I find I'm practically addicted to sleep.

    Do you have trouble ultimately falling asleep when you take it so early?

    Do you dream on ambien?
  6. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
    Because their words had forked no lightning they
    Do not go gentle into that good night
  7. jim thornton's Avatar
    Rage, rage at the dying of the light!
  8. Bobinator's Avatar
    Just cuddle with the pugs (but not the pig) and their rhythmic knarckling will lull you into narcoleptic nirvana!
  9. jim thornton's Avatar
    Bobinator, Jim here, Ambien now fully out of my system! I had forgotten about knarckling! I would like to nominate that as Word of the Year to the American Lexicographers Association!
  10. jim thornton's Avatar


    I don't know where exactly Ambien puts me on this chart, but I do know it moves me out of the upper left quadrant.
  11. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    I think that you should submit some of the last sentences to the New Yorker as a new genre of poetry: Amboetry. Of which you are a master (I edited the spelling and grammar and what we have left is GOLD!!!!):

    An Amboem by Jim

    This camily of mismatched
    creased to use that
    what is next cucumbers and garbanzo
    the viking shops with speekers freed o' float
    what is Greek for swine snout?
  12. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    I think that you should submit some of the last sentences to the New Yorker as a new genre of poetry: Amboetry. Of which you are a master (I edited the spelling and grammar and what we have left is GOLD!!!!):

    An Amboem by Jim

    This camily of mismatched
    creased to use that
    what is next cucumbers and garbanzo
    the viking shops with speekers freed o' float
    what is Greek for swine snout?