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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

New Legal Suit Technology for Men!

Rating: 4 votes, 5.00 average.
My talks with industry are going very well indeed.

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  1. tjrpatt's Avatar
    This looks like the Steve Erkeel of swim suits.
  2. RustyScupperton's Avatar
    Looks like a suit you can do both business AND pleasure with. Your little friends are lookin' mighty frisky!
  3. The Fortress's Avatar
    This looks suspiciously like Spanx compression underwear for women!
  4. jim thornton's Avatar
    Tom, I am still talking to EVERLAST about raising the belt line just a wee bit more--if the slightest overhanging crescent of a nipple is visible, surely FINA could not say the jammers are too high. I also hope to lengthen the suit slightly by the knee as well. Other than these two changes, I think I may have achieved jammer perfection.

    Rusty, it does look like the beach spanglers are jockeying about for position in some sort of queue, doesn't it?
  5. jim thornton's Avatar
    Leslie, I don't know what Spanx compression underwear for women looks like, and I am not entirely sure I want to find out either.

    However, if you read the marketing copy closely, you will see the technology EVERLAST is using with the Jim Suit is of the Placebo "Apparent" Compression variety, which falls under the FINA guidelines, I am pretty sure.
  6. pwb's Avatar
    I think you might be on to something. Should Everlast fall through, maybe you and I can team up. I've been wanting to start my own company called Bondage Speed Suits (BSSuits for short) once this whole suit mess gets cleared up. Your model might be exactly the right for the brand. I've got a relative down under who used to be a textile buyer in Asia for women's undergarments so, with your design and some Vietnamese labor, I think we're ready to hit the VC trail and go to market.
  7. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    ...just need your ball gag and a chain and you are ready to be the gimp in pulp fiction...probably the most disturbing visual in all of film history.
  8. jim thornton's Avatar
    Patrick, besides the EVERLAST Nipple Belt Swimmer 3000 (TM), I would like to license Ian Thorpe's feet, then make these into novelty fins that we normal-foot-sized humans can wear to see what it would be like to have such big dogs.

    Perhaps we could, indeed, collaborate on a new company that would put Speedo in its place.

    Maybe we could also add Dr. Kurt Dickson, MD, to our medical board. As disturbing as he evidently found "the gimp" in pulp fiction, I must say that I find his son Cletus a bit more disturbing, personally.

    That's neither here nor there, however.
  9. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    You need to stop hating on Cletus, my love child.

    I think you could license the whole nipple belt to a whole line of clothing...especially the Sun City, AZ crowd (the ones who frequent hometown buffet/Mimi's Cafe) who like to jack their pants up to that vicinity anyway.
  10. jim thornton's Avatar
    I do NOT hate Cletus! I am even getting somewhat used to his disturbing appearance. Maybe if you would add a bow-tie to give him that Marcus Welby, Jr. doctor's son look, he would be easier to warm up to, visually speaking.

    As a high pants jacker myself, the reason we do this is not because we want to, but because our stomachs are so much heftier than our hips that this is the only way to keep our pants on. I do agree, however, that much more could be done to meet the fashion needs of us in the "normal weight, metabolically obese" apple community.

    Perhaps some kind of blending of nipple belt pants and bowties?

    Just thinking out loud here.

    Just thinking out loud.
  11. bsherm81's Avatar
    Wasn't there a guy in Indy wearing one of those? He had a nose clip too.
  12. The Fortress's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jim thornton
    Leslie, I don't know what Spanx compression underwear for women looks like, and I am not entirely sure I want to find out either.
    See, your suit is a knock off.

    http://www.spanx.com/product/index.j...entPage=family
  13. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    I say still go with it as we all need a "high waisted power panty" regardless of gender. Spanx--a verb and a noun--Kurt spanxed whilst wearing his spanx.
  14. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    I'm a little concerned about potential injuries from the zipper, or is that just a seam running up the front?
  15. The Fortress's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt Dickson
    I say still go with it as we all need a "high waisted power panty" regardless of gender. Spanx--a verb and a noun--Kurt spanxed whilst wearing his spanx.
    I outta spanx you for only reading Jimi's vlog!

    And give you a spanx for not giving me medical advice, since I am apparently in the process of dying from allergies.
  16. jim thornton's Avatar
    Leslie, they need a more attractive model if they want to market this sort of thing...

    I would be willing to model this for the right price. And health insurance.

    Kurt, as a physician, would you be willing to endorse my high waisted power panty as something that high testosterone guys routinely wear? Amanda, I am pretty sure I am impervious to zipper injuries at this point in my life.


  17. Kurt Dickson's Avatar
    Yes, Jimby. I can see the ad now. I'm all clad with a stethoscope and white coat saying "I not only endorse this product, but I'm a client...and I also happen to be packing a tremendous testosterone laden armadillo."
  18. jim thornton's Avatar
    And at this, you unzip your pants, and out pops Cletus, smiling goofily.
  19. Chicken of the Sea's Avatar
    Can't wait to see what happens the next time your ring goes in the tank
  20. jim thornton's Avatar
    NT: I don't think I can post that particular footage.

    Or, perhaps more accurately, half-footage.

    Or, perhaps even more accurately, well, I suppose somethings should be kept private.

    And on this note, I return--brain dead and frustrated--to the revision of my article on being lost in the wilderness, which I feel I am even more a victim of than when I was actually there.
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