The apogee of a dilettante
by, January 9th, 2009 at 06:01 PM (2977 Views)
Your exhausted, wizened, and sore-throated vlogging correspondent, with the considerable help of his robust, young, handsome, identical twin, cross-dressing brother, present to you what may very well become the video anthem for every mediocre competitor who has the AUDACITY to stuff his stuff into an overly tight Speedo racing costume and aspire to the record books.
I can take credit for only a small part of this wonderfully inspiring motion picture--i.e., the writing, starring, audio, and obligatory semi-nude cheesecake shots of me.
My impossibly good-looking identical twin, whose allure is evident in both his male and female morphs, to the point where I would entertain having a three-way with him if it weren't so obviously wrong, anyhow, my brother John deserves much of the credit for this film.
If Hoosiers could be remade without the basketball stuff, and set instead in a small town swimming hole, and furthermore if Gene Hackman could be placed squarely into this hole, well, I am pretty sure you know exactly where I am going!
As someone--who knows whom?--has already posted on the RustyScupperton YouTube video channel, the host of this gem of a talkie:
Absolutely wonderful! This film is not
just about one man's tenuous claim
on swimming glory; it is about
Mediocre Everyman's striving
for recognition in a world
that says back to him,
No! Not you! Not now! Not hardly!
One final note: so compelling are the visual effects of this film that it is easy to get caught up in the visuals alone, ignoring completely the voice of the narrator. It is for this reason--plus a myriad more!--that Jim Thornton--Swimming's Glory demands not just to be watched and rewatched and rewatched again. No, it cries out for so much more!
Word of wisdom to the would-be wise: if there be only one movie all year that you opt to watch 100 times, let this be it. You will not be disappointed.
I, and by I I mean the film, am-is just that good!
And on this note, I now invite you to enjoy as you have never enjoyed a swimming movie in your whole life.