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Thread: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

  1. #41
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by knelson View Post
    Don't worry about this. If she does have talent, that talent ain't going anywhere. At this point all she really needs to do is have fun and work on the fundamentals. She has the opportunity to learn bad habits as well as good ones right now. She won't lose anything if she doesn't push it hard now other than swimming faster right now. Down the road if she's ready to train hard the fact that she didn't train hard when she was nine is a non-issue.
    I think this is the most sensible post yet.

  2. #42
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by aquageek View Post
    I stand by my universal truism statement. Hovering over your daughter (and the rest of her team incidentally) does absolutely nothing for her, her teammates, the coaching staff. Our team has 600+ kids, all with real talent, so does every other club in America. That doesn't give any single parent the right to ruin the experience for every other kid out there. Toxic parents can destroy a team.

    Maybe it's just hard for you to type what you are feeling but from the outside, this all looks like a big stew of disaster waiting to blow up.
    I agree. But you are never gonna change this guy's mind. He is convinced that he is helping his child, and he's not going to see it any other way, no matter what the outcome. This thread is totally depressing me.

    I can't help but feel glad that I didn't have this type of parent (YES, it IS a TYPE) as a young swimmer.

  3. #43
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fortress View Post
    I didn't say she shouldn't enjoy her ribbons -- I said you shouldn't so much. I'm not making any assumption about your meet conduct either. But your defensiveness is suggestive.

    Successfully maximizing potential is a tricky endeavor ... That's why fun is paramount.

    Glad you know how to coach swimming. Now work on spelling!
    Firstly, having to defend to right to be an involved and caring parent I can't type fast enough so I am allowed spelling errors.

    Secondly, yes, put them under her bed. What the hell does that tell your kid. I would not be so cruel.

    And lastly, yes I am asking for advice but you have made this topic about ME rather than the original topic which I believe was something to the extent of "what makes a 9 year old kid so fast" Look at the topic title please.

  4. #44
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by spell_me View Post
    I can't help but feel glad that I didn't have this type of parent (YES, it IS a TYPE) as a young swimmer.
    Youhave absolutely no idea what you are assuming. Simply throwing stones from what you read on a message board and not paying attention to anything that I have been posting.

    Amazing.

  5. #45
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fortress View Post
    Glad you know how to coach swimming. Now work on spelling!
    I find his spelling descent

  6. #46
    Very Active Member aquageek's Avatar
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    Secondly, yes, put them under her bed. What the hell does that tell your kid. I would not be so cruel.

    And lastly, yes I am asking for advice but you have made this topic about ME rather than the original topic which I believe was something to the extent of "what makes a 9 year old kid so fast" Look at the topic title please.
    We answered your questions - find a good team, take your kid to practice, support them and butt out, let the swimming happen. I know of at least 4 or 5 regular posters on this forum with talented 9-10 year old daughters and none of them are doing what you are doing. A few have already responded. Some even are Olympians and current Masters record holders.

    I don't see a need to wallpaper my daughter's room in her ribbons. She knows her achievements. I'm not sure why putting her ribbons in a box for safe keeping is cruel but I'll ask her if she feels like less of a swimmer because of it.

    Try this for a week - don't go to your daughter's practices and see if it makes her any better or worse. I promise you this - the other swimmers and parents might be a bit relieved, but I could be supid about the whole thing.

  7. #47
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    I think you are right on Kristen which is why I do not push my daugter to swim very many meets and burn out. Hell, she doesn't even compete during the summer. Sort of a break I guess.

    I agree with you that a 9 year old WANTS their pearents involved but in later years the are mature enough to do things on their own and don't need the parental support as much.

    For me to show no interest in a 9 year old girls love of swimming in my mind is horrible.

    I think you make very valid points.

  8. #48
    Very Active Member Karen Duggan's Avatar
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    I think that there is fresh blood in the water...

    The question has been answered: the 9 yo in question has TALENT.

    Any other posts are just getting inflammatory.

    FYI, my daughter fell asleep with her trophies on her bed this past summer. If I can find the picture I will post it. Absolutely hysterical. We DO NOT promote the ideas of ribbons, medals, and trophies as I mentioned- more the fun and effort, and yet she was SO proud of her accomplishments. Cracked me up!
    K.Duggan

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by aquageek View Post
    We answered your questions - find a good team, take your kid to practice, support them and butt out, let the swimming happen. I know of at least 4 or 5 regular posters on this forum with talented 9-10 year old daughters and none of them are doing what you are doing. A few have already responded. Some even are Olympians and current Masters record holders.

    I don't see a need to wallpaper my daughter's room in her ribbons. She knows her achievements. I'm not sure why putting her ribbons in a box for safe keeping is cruel but I'll ask her if she feels like less of a swimmer because of it.

    Try this for a week - don't go to your daughter's practices and see if it makes her any better or worse. I promise you this - the other swimmers and parents might be a bit relieved, but I could be supid about the whole thing.
    They are in a box just not under the bed lol

    I have given you post after post explaining how I am at her practices and at her meets and you simply refuse to believe any of it and for that I cannot do anything.

    I go to her practices because I love to watch my daughter swim. If you want to ignore your kid go ahead but i do not. Want to know what kind of parents act like fools at meets? I've been to my daughters and most of the are moms. Just a fact.

    I suggest you re-read some of my posts and really look hard at what I was telling you. If you do you will know that I am not disrupting, over-reacting or anything to that extent about her swimming.

  10. #50
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    The 2000lb gorilla in the room:

    We all know swim parents who are over-zealous terds. What defines this kind of parent:

    1) Interferes with the coach
    2) Moves swimmer from team to team
    3) Compares child to of others incessantly
    4) Poor speller
    5) Is completely unaware of true nature and insists that they are just a good parent.

    I think we can safely say that our friend DAC qualifies most strongly on the 4th point, but the rest we don't really know. The best we can do is say is good luck.

    PS: I am a poor speller and a good parent. UH-OH!
    Last edited by lefty; January 6th, 2010 at 03:03 PM.

  11. #51
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    What you are saying could be true if I could trust that the coach of her team was fit to be coaching. As I said before, dropping my daughter off to practice and "trusting" this man to do a good job coaching my daughter would be fine and dandy except for the fact that she's shown no visible signs of improvement under him.
    Depending on your level of training (in any sport) would also help to determine how much you trust someone to teach your child technique and to train them. IMO. Finding the level of coaching that you are talking about is many times hard at these ages. Not to say they aren't quality coaches (everyone has something to share, and everyone can always learn more). But be aware that as she grows older and levels herself, she will find different levels in coaching.

    Also, different people give different quality in different areas. Let me explain: A Flyer would benefit learning from Phelps as he won the gold in fly (yes, others too, I know) at the olympics. But if I wanted to learn backstroke techniques, I would to Aaron Perisol.

    So, RAC, take advantage of any clinics and camps that you possibly can. You daughter will learn SO MUCH MORE getting info from different people.

    Quote Originally Posted by spell_me View Post
    Lisa, watching isn't bad in and of itself, but it becomes very difficult for a parent to refrain from discussing the practice session with the child. And I suppose there's nothing wrong with THAT, either, but then the kid has to do things like explain why the coach did this or that, why so and so was the lane leader for this set, and so on. Or has to hear constructive advice on his stroke, or in some other way re-live the practice session. A person WATCHING a practice is not likely to understand it the same way as the people who are SWIMMING it... and I'm just telling you, after a while these conversations can get to be a real drag for the kid. The kid may be grateful to the parent for the opportunity to swim, but when the parent is always there, it can't help but change the dynamics, even in the best of relationships. Plus, if your parent is watching, it makes it impossible to goof off at all, ever, and even the very best swimmers love to have a little fun now and then. It's part of what keeps them coming back year after year after year.
    Thank You!!!! As my kids are 1 and 2 I will keep this to heart as I wish I could coach them everyday. What? You don't think they'll be swimmers? Blasphemy!

    Quote Originally Posted by aquageek View Post
    I don't get what you mean by "only going so far." You only go as far as you want to go and there's nothing wrong with that.
    I totally understand what RAC is saying. I had a friend in summer league who would show up once (if that) a week, and own every sprint record. It obviously pissed people off because they worked SO HARD and he didn't. They just could only go so far. Sad that he didn't work, cause he would have been SO GOOD.

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    Funny thing even though my daughter enjoys swimming she has been accused by her previous coach (in a fun way) of being too casual with her emotions. She rarely shows emotion, very quiet and is all business on the starting block. She never likes to talk about swimming much and when the coach hands out awards (and she has over 40 ribbons, and an 8 and under championship trophy, certificates ect ect) she takes them with a grain of salt.

    I mean, she is proud of them but it seems like she expects them or something. I told her that the last you want to do is get so cocky that you expect these kinds of results everytime because I won't happen.

    She does have a very competitive spirit and hates to lose. I remember during a relay once we had a sucky relay team and were on the verge of being last and my daughter was the last one off the blocks. The one girl ahead of her had an entire half or more pool length lead and my daughter swam as fast as I ever seen her swim a freestyle and during the last length back passed this girl so we didn't finish last.

    You know, out of all the awards and 1st place ribbons I think that moment was the one moment in time where I was most proud of her. It showed real guts and what she was made of and what potential she had.

    Finishing second to last isn't great but how you finish second to last was important.
    Your daughter sounds humble. Sounds like she works hard and is very proud of her accomplishments. Yet, she doesn't like the spotlight. Most girls her age don't. But being proud and humble is a good thing. sounds like one great daughter. Congratulations.
    Last edited by drowndrt; January 6th, 2010 at 03:01 PM. Reason: oops, I misspelled something
    ~Lisa~

  12. #52
    Very Active Member joel schmaltz's Avatar
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    As a parent of a two young ones, both of which are very involved in sports, my opinion is just to let her be a nine year old.

    I think that the life skills that childen learn from sports is far more important than being concerned with performance.

    Just kick back and enjoy the ride.

  13. #53
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by lefty View Post
    1) Interferes with the coach
    2) Moves swimmer from team to team
    3) Compares child to of others incessantly
    4) Poor speller
    5) Is completely unaware of true nature and insists that they are just a good parent.
    #1 I've never done that directly or otherwise
    #2. She's only been on one team so far.
    #3. Everyone does that in their minds and if they say they don't they are not telling the truth.
    4.Can't help that, sorry.
    5. My daughter is a straight A student and in 4 years never had lower than an A. Was one the best swimmers on her team including the 10, 11 and 12 year olds.

    If that makes me a bad parent then I want to be the worst one out there. Perhaps YOUR kid will be serving MY kid a burger through the drive-up window one day.

  14. #54
    Very Active Member aquageek's Avatar
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    I go to her practices because I love to watch my daughter swim. If you want to ignore your kid go ahead but i do not. Want to know what kind of parents act like fools at meets? I've been to my daughters and most of the are moms. Just a fact.
    Geez, man, relax. I think we all love watching our kids swim but that doesn't mean I like going to 9 hours of practices a week, the meets are bad enough. I had to go to my daughter's practices for three weeks due to her medical condition and I thought I was going to die of boredom, that or wanting to kill the crazy parents who were there watching their kids.

    I don't think crazy helicopter parenting discriminates between man and woman.

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    5. My daughter is a straight A student and in 4 years never had lower than an A. Was one the best swimmers on her team including the 10, 11 and 12 year olds.

    If that makes me a bad parent then I want to be the worst one out there. Perhaps YOUR kid will be serving MY kid a burger through the drive-up window one day.
    Oh man...

  16. #56
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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Does Ion have a nine year old daughter and a new screen name?

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by drowndrt View Post
    Depending on your level of training (in any sport) would also help to determine how much you trust someone to teach your child technique and to train them. IMO. Finding the level of coaching that you are talking about is many times hard at these ages. Not to say they aren't quality coaches (everyone has something to share, and everyone can always learn more). But be aware that as she grows older and levels herself, she will find different levels in coaching.

    Also, different people give different quality in different areas. Let me explain: A Flyer would benefit learning from Phelps as he won the gold in fly (yes, others too, I know) at the olympics. But if I wanted to learn backstroke techniques, I would to Aaron Perisol.

    So, RAC, take advantage of any clinics and camps that you possibly can. You daughter will learn SO MUCH MORE getting info from different people.



    Thank You!!!! As my kids are 1 and 2 I will keep this to heart as I wish I could coach them everyday. What? You don't think they'll be swimmers? Blasphemy!



    I totally understand what RAC is saying. I had a friend in summer league who would show up once (if that) a week, and own every sprint record. It obviously pissed people off because they worked SO HARD and he didn't. They just could only go so far. Sad that he didn't work, cause he would have been SO GOOD.



    Your daughter sounds humble. Sounds like she works hard and is very proud of her accomplishments. Yet, she doesn't like the spotlight. Most girls her age don't. But being proud and humble is a good thing. sounds like one great daughter. Congratulations.

    Thnx.

    Yur right, she is very humble sometimes too much so.

    Anyways, she has practice right after school tonight and I'll remember some of the good advice here. You won't see me hovering, screaming, questioning, rolling my eyes, sighing, mocking, banging, waving my arms or any of that.

    I will do what I have always done, sit and watch and not say anything when practice is over.

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by RAC40 View Post
    Youhave absolutely no idea what you are assuming. Simply throwing stones from what you read on a message board and not paying attention to anything that I have been posting.

    Amazing.

    No, I've paid too much attention. I'm really sorry if I have you "pegged" incorrectly, it's just that the things you said sounded incredibly like the swimming parents I remember knowing so well when I was a kid. Please understand, I've seen so much of it! I really can't know if you are like that. If you are not, I'm very sorry. Even if you are that sort of parent, I know that you're only doing it because it is your way of being a good parent.

    So, no more "stones". I sincerely wish you luck, and I hope that your child enjoys a terrific swimming career, one that will serve her well for her whole life. Kids learn so many things from swimming!

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazz Hands View Post
    Oh man...
    I'm just being sarcastic.

    I really love this bananna.

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    Re: 9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

    Quote Originally Posted by spell_me View Post
    No, I've paid too much attention. I'm really sorry if I have you "pegged" incorrectly, it's just that the things you said sounded incredibly like the swimming parents I remember knowing so well when I was a kid. Please understand, I've seen so much of it! I really can't know if you are like that. If you are not, I'm very sorry. Even if you are that sort of parent, I know that you're only doing it because it is your way of being a good parent.

    So, no more "stones". I sincerely wish you luck, and I hope that your child enjoys a terrific swimming career, one that will serve her well for her whole life. Kids learn so many things from swimming!
    Ditto.

    Truth is nobody knows. I can only do my best in helping her make the right decissions and leave it at that. Perhaps she will do well when she's older perhaps not but her education is #1 right now and that's where we don't let her slack much

    Guess what, she went to a swim camp last year and met Megan Jendrick and Peter Vanderkayy (however you spell that) and she got to race against Megan in the breastroke.

    Megan gave her a half pool length lead and it ended up a tie. My daughter could have beaten her though but it was too early in the morning.

    My daughter has a book written by Jendrick on how to improve your swimming. Inside she autographed it "Follow your dreams, Megan Jendrick" I thought that was really cool of her.

    Swimming with an olympian and holding those gold medals..pressure? nah! lol

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