Greg - re:how it feels... this for me is where the video stuff comes in the handiest. Of course it helps me understand what I am doing wrong in the water, but my goal is to remember what muscles get tired when doing the corrections. Later, when swimming or doing specific drills I want to feel those muscles get tired.
For me It's also been a series of progressions over 6+ months. My training partner calls them 'epiphanies' where all of the sudden some aspect of stroke just clicks - it feels right like it should have been there all along. But then he jokes it just means there's another mountain to climb after that one.
I still think there are miles to go before I get it, but I am getting it and really enjoying the process.