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Thread: Classes for men only

  1. #1
    Very Active Member SwiminONandON's Avatar
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    Classes for men only

    ALL ARE WELCOME

    OPEN TO MEN ONLY
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
    Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

    The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
    DAY ONE

    HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    Step by step guide with slide presentation

    TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    Roundtable discussion

    DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

    DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
    Debate among a panel of experts.

    LOSS OF VIRILITY
    Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

    LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

    DAY TWO

    EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    Group discussion and role play

    HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation

    REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    Real life testimonial from the one man who did

    IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    Driving simulation

    LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

    HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

    REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class

    GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

  2. #2
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    May I step in here....uh hum....

    TOILET SEATS - THE CONSEQUENCES OF LEAVING THEM UP
    A behind the scenes look - a demonstration followed by discussion

    IS YOUR DIALING FINGER BROKEN?
    Don't leave her hanging! Discussion on creative and not so subtle ways to tell her you're not interested

    FLOWERS 101
    Yes - they do make a difference
    Kari

  3. #3
    Very Active Member SwiminONandON's Avatar
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    Kari, you rock ...

    May I add ... Dancing 101, how to do more than just move your knees ....

  4. #4
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    Heather - when do we start our new business venture?!

    We could start classes now. Any takers?
    Kari

  5. #5
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    Bud - LOL!!!

    We're not that hard to figure out, really. Just call us when you say you will - and if you're not interested, don't pretend to be. If you're "just not that into us", then tell us so. I'd rather have that then some lame excuse.

    Let's hear your side - what "classes" would we need to take?
    Kari

  6. #6
    Very Active Member SwiminONandON's Avatar
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    Amen, Kari. AND DON'T call us three times on our birthday make plans to meet us out, come, buy us a drink, introduce as to all your friends, hug us good-bye and say you'll call then fall off the face of the earth ... bastard!

    That was a totaly hypothetical

    Kari, I say bootcamp starts Monday!

  7. #7
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    LOL at #1.....see???? That's what I'm talkin' about. None of this "well.....well...I'll call you....."
    Kari

  8. #8
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    MAJOR THREAD HIJACK!!!!

    The most recent issue of SWIMMER mag. stated that I was 33....NOT! I will be 40 this month and dangnabit, I've earned every one of those freakin' years!!!
    Kari

  9. #9
    Very Active Member Seagurl51's Avatar
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    Those are hilarious Bud! 16 and 18 are my favorites!!

  10. #10
    Very Active Member SwiminONandON's Avatar
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    Reply Kari, I noticed that and thought, why is she trying to make herself out to be older than she is?

    Bud, you rock! Love it, love it, love it.

    Side note: we don't always want to cuddle, sometimes we just want to sleep, maybe that's just me ....

  11. #11
    Very Active Member SwiminONandON's Avatar
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    Must add ... I like the break-up idea ... I am such a guy in relationships I am the one going do we really have to define this, can't we just see what happens? Sorry I didn't call I decided to go out with the girls ...

  12. #12
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    Heather - I can't WAIT to be 40! (and that picture was taken two years ago and it the only one I could find with me near a pool and it's not my best angle.....)

    Yes - bootcamp starts Monday! Grrrr.... and YES! I hate when a guy acts like he likes you then disappears!!! What's up with that??????

    Bud - love your posts!

    Ditto what Heather said - we don't always want to cuddle. I don't like doilies.
    Kari

  13. #13
    Very Active Member geochuck's Avatar
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    Heather

    It was proven by me that only men know how the t p roll is installed. Women always install it incorrectly. I know this for a fact.

    I also know that the Toilet seat should be left up only if is a commercial seat. It can be very dangerous when a little boy is doing his thing and it falls down.

    George

  14. #14
    Distance Man tjrpatt's Avatar
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    When you get married and buy a house, make sure that you have his and her bathrooms so the man doesn't have to worry about keeping the seat down.

  15. #15
    Very Active Member Karen Duggan's Avatar
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    Bud- How old are you and are you married?!

    You either are very old and very married, or you're single.

    I also love the lists.
    K.Duggan

  16. #16
    Very Active Member Scansy's Avatar
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    Re: Classes for men only

    OK, here's the scoop as I see it. (Answers mixed in below)

    DAY ONE

    HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    Step by step guide with slide presentation

    HECK, WE HAVE AN ICE MAKER IN THE FRIDGE

    TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    Roundtable discussion

    I AM THE ONLY ONE IN MY HOUSE WHO "RESTOCKS" THE TP DISPENSER

    DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

    OK, MY WIFE AND I ARE BOTH LAUNDRY SLOBS.

    DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

    KITCHEN IS MINE ALONE. I COOK AND I CLEAN THE KITCHEN.
    Debate among a panel of experts.

    LOSS OF VIRILITY
    Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

    CURED BY TWO SATELITES PLUS CABLE. ALSO HAVE LOTS OF TV'S IN THE HOUSE!

    LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

    MY WIFE DOES SAY I HAVE "MALE PATTERN BLINDNESS"

    DAY TWO

    EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    Group discussion and role play

    I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO USES MILK, SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

    HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation

    ACTUALLY, I DO THE FLOWER THING ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH. (ANY MORE THAN THAT AND I MIGHT SPOIL HER!)

    REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    Real life testimonial from the one man who did

    DIRECTIONS ARE FOR "GIRLY MEN"!

    IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    Driving simulation

    YES. THAT'S WHY WE LIVE IN THE 'BURBS - LOTS OF PARKING LOTS!

    LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

    HEY WAIT, I DON'T DO "THAT" WITH MY MOTHER!!!

    HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

    OK, I HATE SHOPPING. UNLESS IT'S FOR FISHING GEAR!!!

    REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class

    I AM BETTER AT REMEMBERING OUR ANNIVERSARY THAN MY WIFE!!!

    GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

    ALL THE TIME??? I'M WAITING FOR THE FIRST TIME!
    Go Steelers!

  17. #17
    Very Active Member Scansy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by SwiminONandON
    Kari, you rock ...

    May I add ... Dancing 101, how to do more than just move your knees ....
    WAIT, I LOVE TO DANCE. MY WIFE HATES IT.

    AM I THE WIFE????
    Go Steelers!

  18. #18
    Very Active Member Scansy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by bud

    HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
    Show up naked.
    With Beer
    Actually, the beer is optional!
    Go Steelers!

  19. #19
    Very Active Member Scansy's Avatar
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    Rule number one for relationships.....

    Women have the one thing that all men want! Men will do anything for it. Some even pay for it!

    Of course, I'm talking about a home cooked meal!
    Go Steelers!

  20. #20
    Very Active Member newmastersswimmer's Avatar
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    Re: Classes

    As far as classes go.....I think that the most important class is an "all gender" class that basically deals with treating other individuals (in general) with a little more kindness and a little more compassion........Letting other people choose how they want to live thier private lives without trying to force feed your own personal religious beliefs down everybody elses throat.....if you want to protect things like the sanctity of marriage then start with your own marriage and leave everybody else alone.......these are the basics IMHO of course.....as far as gender issues go...I'm not a big believer in these things.....calling people and treating people with kindness shouldn't be a gender specific issue as far as I am concerned....it's just the right way to treat other fellow human beings.


    peace out,


    newmastersswimmer
    "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits" Albert Einstein

    "I would love to help you out.....Which way did you come in?" Groucho Marx

    "24 beers in a case and 24 hours in a day....Coincidence?" Steven Wright

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