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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

As soon as I acquire certain required technical skills, with luck by the year 2027, I hope to begin posting occasional video blog musings on the world of competitive swimming as it is being experienced by a specimen now aged 56 (and 75 in 2027).

For the foreseeable future, these vlogs are likely to be 2-D. But as soon as holographic film technology becomes available, subscribers will be able to watch me swim, put on difficult body suits with the help of ointments, swallow an increasingly multitudinous number of cardiovascular and psychiatric medications, and demonstrate the various other essential skills of the ripening male masters swimmer.

I will, if space and interest allows, also post vlogs about my fellow swimmers that I meet and stalk at various meets. An example of this can be found here, which I posted previously on the regular forum. It is about the magnificent Leslie Livingston and was made with the help of my twin brother John.


I invite you to enjoy!

  1. Merry Christmas from Me and My Dicksons!

    by , December 22nd, 2012 at 10:14 AM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Another year has come and is almost gone.

    Here, my swimming friends across the globe, is this year's Christmas card and Big Present to each and every one of you!

    Don't feel obligated to give me anything in return. It is enough that you allow me to warm my cockles by being beneficiaries of my generosity, for truly, 'tis better to give than receive!

    Click below link to receive your card and gift!

    Click above link to receive your card and gift!

    Suggestion: Why not fire up your Big Present during Christmas dinner so the entire family can listen to it right after Grace?

  2. I'm No. 1! Plus, Hudson, OHIO, IM results

    by , December 19th, 2012 at 10:42 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    No. 1, that is, in the 60-64 men's 100 LCM freestyle and the Boys and Girls 10-and-Under National Age Group record books! (Assuming I could pass for 10-and-Under in either gender category, which would involve a doctor's note attesting to a diagnosis of progeria and indeterminate sexual organs. Frankly, this shouldn't be all that difficult to secure.)

    Anyhow, to read more about this unbelievable triumph of mediocrity over reason, I invite you to click here to be whisked instantly to a world of fantastical swimming enchantment...

    PS 5:45.80 and 2:39.94 in the 400 SCM and 200 SCM IM's respectively, this despite coming to a virtual standstill in the respective breaststroke legs of each race. A race dissection of the 400 comparing my splits to the current No. 1 Event Rankings placement holder, the legendary walrus-mustachioed Jim Clemmons, is also added to the link aformentioned above.

    Click, whisk, enchant!
  3. The Big Snake Project

    by , December 7th, 2012 at 03:18 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    I suspect I am fast reaching a point of diminishing, perhaps vanishing, returns with this cross-platform monetization optimizing paradigm here.

    However, I am confident today's entry shall turn things around entirely!

    If you are swimming in a SCM this weekend, more reason than ever to click on the Big Snake Project for a turbocharging of energy levels!

    Have an enjoyable weekend!

    Off tomorrow to swim the 400 IM, the 200 IM, and possibly, if I am still able to move, the 800 freestyle in a SCM high school pool in Hudson, Ohio.

    Embarrassing results to be posted here next week!
  4. My Chief Technology Officer

    by , December 6th, 2012 at 01:13 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
  5. My Rudder

    by , December 4th, 2012 at 01:41 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Okay, so maybe today's blog entry is not 100 percent, entirely swimming-related the way yesterday's was.

    On the other hand, it is on a subject that roughly half the USMS swimming population owns, and--at least according to Sigmund Freud--roughly the other half wishes they owned.

    Which reminds me of the classic old joke, wherein a little boy and a little girl are playing doctor.

    The little boy points at his nether regions and sneers, "Na na na na naaaaa na! I have one of these and you don't!"

    The little girl just shakes her head wisely, points to her nether regions, and replies, "With one of these, I can get as many of those as I want!"

    Which to me remains the most convincing of all arguments that Freud's notion of penis envy just doesn't pass the real world test.


    In any event, for today's reading and viewing pleasure, I present to the greater USMS diaspora an in-depth meditation on the nature of my rudder:

    Note: click on the above, not the picture, which will take you nowhere.

    Note: I am pretty sure that the bugs have been more or less worked out of the RSS feed thingy, making it even easier than ever to subscribe, absolutely for free, to my new blog!

    Though for those who can't figure out how to do so, I shall continue my quest to create infinite loops between hither and thither

    PS I signed up for the 400 and 200 IM and the 800 freestyle at the Hudson, Ohio SCM meet next Saturday. I shall keep you posted.

  6. Criss Cross Chicane!

    by , December 3rd, 2012 at 04:49 PM (Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton)
    Today, an actual and fully swimming-related blog complete with partial race results and the kind of trash talking that gives anyone beyond 38 hope!

    Simply click on this link to be whisked immediately to a world of utter swimming enchantment! Can't wait? Click now!

    Bonus: includes two of my Sewickley teammates/Kona World Champion Triathlon competitors modeling actual underwear.

    Real people! Real underwear! Real trash talk! Right here! Right now!

    Still waiting? Okay, now click! You've made your point! No sense belaboring it!