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Have you gotten offers from Speedo to be a model for their swim caps?

Ah, the crafty nuances.

If you don't get well soon, my mothering skills will be questioned.

Needs more pictures of Vonn.

As a tall, thin, and very lean woman, do you find the dart-like pointy phallus of the whale alluring? What do you think about the corkscrew twisty at the end?

I do not know much about the fantasies of the distaff community, as perhaps this inquiry suggests. I will, however, leave you all with the poesy of D.H. Lawrence, who may have known a thing or two along these lines:

"Whales Weep Not"

By D. H. Lawrence

They say the sea is cold, but the sea contains
the hottest blood of all, and the wildest, the most urgent.
All the whales in the wider deeps, hot are they, as they urge
on and on, and dive beneath the icebergs.
The right whales, the sperm-whales, the hammer-heads, the killers
there they blow, there they blow, hot wild white breath out of the sea!
And they rock, and they rock, through the sensual ageless ages
on the depths of the seven seas,
and through the salt they reel with drunk delight
and in the tropics tremble they with love
and roll with massive, strong desire, like gods.
Then the great bull lies up against his bride
in the blue deep bed of the sea,
as mountain pressing on mountain, in the zest of life:
and out of the inward roaring of the inner red ocean of whale-blood
the long tip reaches strong, intense, like the maelstrom-tip, and comes to rest
in the clasp and the soft, wild clutch of a she-whales's fathomless body.
And over the bridge of the whale's strong phallus, linking the wonder of whales
the burning archangels under the sea keep passing, back and forth,
keep passing, archangels of bliss
from him to her, from her to him, great Cherubim
that wait on whales in mid-ocean, suspended in the waves of the sea
great heaven of whales in the waters, old hierarchies.
And enormous mother whales lie dreaming suckling their whale-tender young
and dreaming with strange whale eyes wide open in the waters of the beginning and the end.
And bull-whales gather their women and whale-calves in a ring
when danger threatens, on the surface of the ceaseless flood
and range themselves like great fierce Seraphim facing the threat
encircling their huddled monsters of love.
And all this happens in the sea, in the salt
where God is also love, but without words:
and Aphrodite is the wife of whales
most happy, happy she!
And Venus among the fishes skips and is a she-dolphin
she is the gay, delighted porpoise sporting with love and the sea
she is the female tunny-fish, round and happy among the males
and dense with happy blood, dark rainbow bliss in the sea.

Originally Posted by jim thornton

Is that yours, Dave?

i think it's funny that, when you go to this link, all the photos say "click to enlarge" under them. That's What He Said!!

Thanks to you both, Mom and Dad (figure) respectively.

When they say the child is father to the man, I am pretty sure they mean, "young leslie and kurt are acting in loco parentis for old jim."

Originally Posted by Kurt Dickson

For what it is worth, I find your verbal spew very relevant.

For what it is worth, I do too!

Originally Posted by RustyScupperton

I found myself moved by the Tige Man's plaintive puffy eyed confession, but find this whole pageant of "sex addiction counseling", public confession, exile from golf a bit tiresome. I disagree with Jimby about some of his more hard baked hypotheses. I do think that you can have a monogamous marriage that is rewarding and not be a loser in the game of life. We are animals, but we can think. If Tiger could go back in time, do you think he would still have had those affairs or would he have abstained and thus forestalled the obvious misery he has brought upon himself and his family?

Brilliantly put, John. And my thoughts exactly.

I take great pride in being the 2000th commenter!

Milestone realized! At least 8 people and 7017 internet spider robots have viewed Lost Person Behaviour!!!!

Thanks, Dr. Duckson!

Here is one of those three.

I think it is unfair to compare yourself to Leslie. You will have difficulty finding audience as you talk of random nonsense on a swimming forum whereas she deals more with swimming. Also, she is pretty and you are not. Good luck getting 3 more comments. For what it is worth, I find your verbal spew very relevant.

4 more comments. only 4 more. And I will have crossed over to the 2000 comment count, alone in the over 1999+ world, save for Leslie, who is currently at 6104.

You can't help it. The leopard has no control over his spots. The mormon descendant has no control over his seeds. The kindly doctor has but one duty in this life to god, and to himself, and to decency itself: do no let that seed spill where it cannot create homocular dixons, like, well, cletus. they may not be perfect 100 percent of the time, but god damn it man! They are still cute. They are still life. And they still rank among the world's all time greatest practitioners of the sling blade for the dispensation of social justice.

I'm trying to picture you as a welfare queen...all Rupaul with tattered feather boa and such.

Thinking thusly is hard not to do despite ones faith....one step back in my addiction recovery process. Fortunately I've discovered I have a disease and am not to blame for my "condition."

I would just like to point out for the record here that two more viewings of http://forums.usms.org/blog.php?b=7004 "Lost Person Behavior" will see a total of 7,000 hits--an impossible dream for an amateur vlogiator hoping to go viral.

I have not gone viral yet.

But this milestone, it seems to me, suggests I have at least gone fungal.

I am looking into the possibility of writing "How I Became the New Model for a Welfare Queen" but so many people I have mentioned the idea to are certain it will be a best seller, which would get me kicked off the welfare rolls again, impoverishing me once more via health insurance costs.

So I am consulting with attorneys about how to escrow all moneys derived from book sales till I turn 65 and become an Old Welfare Queen like the rest of our geriatric welfare-hating country.



But, Dr. Dickson, you do have to agree: this vixen looks like she would be in some ineffable (I wish she was effable by me) sense of the word fun.

I mean, look at those loins. Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature risin'.

Like unbelievably so, don't you think? Or are you barred by your faith from thinking thusly?

I think Elvis' point was that humans are often scum bags and possibly more animal in their behavior than animals.
Complicated stuff...the frenzy of the rut. I guess women are from venus and men are from somewhere else. Maybe you should write a book or something.

The two in the corner appear to be sniffing each other.

I like how they have them mounted on those animal head platter thingies usually reserved for moose and the like.

Now that I think about it, I am curious why sportsmen don't hang these things in their rumpus rooms.

Dr. Dickson, with apologies to Elvis Costello, the sexual behavior of chimpanzees is so promiscuous that the only way Jane Goodall can tell paternity is The Jerry Springer Show.

Originally Posted by jim thornton

Is that yours, Dave?

unlike our cetacean cousins, i do suffer from the dreaded cold water shrinkage thing.

do you think participation would increase at USMS meets if the awards looked more like those plaques? (who needs another ribbon?)

The monkey speaks his mind

And three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to other now listen, you two
“There’s a certain rumour that just can’t be true
That man descended from our noble race
Why, the very idea is a big disgrace, yea”
No monkey ever deserted his wife
Starved her baby and ruined her life

Yea, the monkey speaks his mind (Elvis Costello)

15 plus women on the side...I'm glad he's getting that sex addiction treatment he, and for that matter all of us, so desperately need.