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Vlog the Inhaler, or The Occasional Video Blog Musings of Jim Thornton

Travesty of travesties: all is travesty

Rating: 4 votes, 5.00 average.
Today's vlog will be best understood by those who take a moment to read Leslie The Fortress Livingston's fascinating blog account of bureaucratic machiavellianism run amuk.

I would have loved to hire Al Pacino to play me in today's film. Only Al could give the full apoplectic spittle-flying frenzy "You're out of order! You're out of order"/"I oughta take a flamethrower to this whole f-ingplace!"/"Say hello to my leedle fren!" style outrage that this situation deserves.

Unfortunately, Al was working on another project, so I had to play Jim myself, which is never ideal.


If, by the way, you have not yet seen Leslie's fourth-45-49-year-old-woman-in-world-history-to-crack-30.00-in-the-50-SCM-fly performance, you can see it by clicking the link atop my vlog.

* * *

On a more stereotypically swimming-oriented blog note, my good friend and swimming coach Bill White sent out tonight's practice, which consists of a warm up (6 x 100 on 1:20) followed by a 1650 RACE.

I replied to him by email:

Bill, correct my math if you see errors:

You will average about a 1:10-1:20 pace, which means that your 50s will be 35-40 seconds each.

Every time you lap me, it will mean I need to add an additional 35-40 seconds onto whatever time you end up doing.

Thus if you lap me only four times, or every 412.5 yards, this would mean I will need to add between 2 minutes and 10 seconds to 2 minutes and 30 seconds to your final time.

I am expecting you to break 20 minutes as if it were child's play. But let us just use the 20 minute mark for simplicity's sake. I should be able to finish in 22:10.00 to 22:30.00, correct?

Using the Bill Time Distance calculator from yesteryear, this would leave me with an average 100 pace of between 1:20.61 and 1:21.82.

If you, on the other hand, hold a 1:10 or 1:15 pace, you will swim it in 19:15 or 20:37.50 respectively.


I will let you know how it goes.

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Updated December 29th, 2008 at 12:56 PM by jim thornton



  1. The Fortress's Avatar
    I am advised that this "happens all the time" and "bureaucracy happens." So not so sure the swimmers are being looked out for much.

    Thanks for your thoughts though.
  2. pwolf66's Avatar
    Ah, but as you indicated in your earlier comments, it SHOULDN'T happen at all. Either a TT (under the required conditions) is an official time or it is NEVER an official time regardless. Grrrr.
  3. tjrpatt's Avatar
    Jim, Very entertaining and great commentary.